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For only the most wicked pissas, I’d considah Pedroia, a can of Budwisah and a replay of Doug Flutie at the Orange Bowl. For heaven, throw-in a hot broad and a Dunkin’ Donuts Coolatta. For Nahvana, I’m doing this in the same room as Denis Leary, Cam Neely and Pesky. But we can’t all be Massholes, so we look if Dustin Pedroia is a legit keeper and not just a wicked awesome keepah. In the forums, there was some discussion about whether Dustin Pedroia was a better keeper than Corey Hart. In early June, I said Corey Hart, easily. As you’ll see from that discussion, Pedroia wasn’t even that commenter’s second choice for who to keep. Two months later, Pedroia’s now batting fourth for the Sawx and he has as many home runs as David Ortiz. He’s a legit MVP candidate if you don’t pronounce your Rs. But can’t Pedroia be a keeper? Definitely for some people’s teams. His average should come down because of a high BABIP and the power might not be quite this strong next year, but at his position, he’s definitely a keeper. Just not against Corey Hart. Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball keepers for 2009:

Billy Butler – 7 HRs and is batting .318 since the All-Star break. (That’s 3 1/2 HRs for each moob.) I don’t think he’s going to be a 30/.300 guy next year, but as a deep league keeper, I like Butler.

B.J. UptonBut, um, he like had no homers this year? He’s young as dog balls and his swing is sweet. Or sweeeeeeet as you might say if you wanted to emphasis it but not go through the trouble of just thinking up a better word.

Josh Fogg – Psyche! Just making sure you’re paying attention.

Joey Votto – I already talked about how Votto was a solid keeper. Actually I talked about how he was Barbara Hershey and Jay Bruce was Bette Midler as they reenact the movie, Beaches, but you get my drift.

From Around The Web

  1. BigFatHippo says:


    You need serious work on your Bahston accent my man. Get BSA’s help.

    Interesting trade offer last night. The guy in 3rd, who used to be in 2nd all year offers this: Chris Davis, Brandon Phillips, Glaus and Raffy Perez for Utley, Morneau and K-Rod.

    His reasoning? “You’ve already got 1st sowed up, there’s a keeper for next year.”

    I laughed, I’ll wipe with his toothbrush next time I’m in Louisville.

  2. BigFatHippo says:

    BTW, Youk Light will be high on my draft board next year. I’ll miss out on the Utley sweepstakes but he would be a sweet fill in.

  3. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: Just checking in and had a good laugh – 14 points!? Wouldn’t you like some of those transferred to the RCL?

    Hey Grey, Maybe you should have asked the Southie type about the Jockey.

  4. BSA says:

    WordPress told me I was trying type too fast when I tried to stop sending and edit. Wanted to put “asked the Southie to type about the Jockey”.

  5. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Ha!

    re: Pedroia — I called him underrated coming into this season and tried to get people to go for him. They don’t all come out roses (cough, Gordon, cough) but when they do, it’s nice.

    @BSA: Maybe WordPress objected to you saying Southie.

    Anyway, I thought my Southie was pretty good. Coolattas? C’mon, that’s like Southie crack. That and Lenny Clarke.

  6. Steve says:

    What do y’all make of the suggestion that Gallardo might come back as an MR before the end of the season? I grabbed him to fill my DL slot.

    Any chance he makes a useful contribution?

  7. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Aren’t BJ’s balls like 175 in dog years?

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: If you have an open slot, grab him. I wouldn’t expect too much. Or anything really.

    @BigFatHippo: Dog balls is an extreme modifier. It’s not literal. It can be cold as dog balls, hot as dog balls, young as dog balls, old as dog balls, etc.

  9. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Just don’t get too extreme on me.

    If you say “Krispy Kremes are as tasty as dog balls” I might trip on your dangling participle.

  10. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Not a huge Krispy Kreme fan. Or donuts. Frozen Yogurt, boyz! What? I’m shapely.

  11. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Please don’t say Ted Drewes is as tasty as dog balls are. See how I added that dangling participle in there?

    Now pick that shit up before I trip on it going to get my Baconator.

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: I’d like to wash a Baconator down with a Frosty while listening to Mike and the Mechanics. Why? Because they’re awesome.

  13. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Hehe

    Never thought I’d witness a Mike and the Mechanics reference on here. I think his mechanics are all dead. Or maybe that’s just Phil Collins.

    One can only hope.

  14. Doug Ault says:

    Butler(like Delmon Young)has been a tease all year,he probably hearts Dick…….erson.

  15. Doug Ault says:

    trivia: What big 70’s hit did the singer of Mike and ……….have with another band?

  16. Steve says:

    Did anyone see Prince steal second? That must have been a sight.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doug Ault: You mean besides Genesis? Don’t have an effin’ clue.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Shoot, I would’ve liked to, but sadly missed it. Watching the Yankees getting handled.

  19. Steve says:

    Even down here I had to secure all loose items.

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: On the replay, the entire field rotated and Prince actually stood still.

  21. BigFatHippo says:

    @Doug Ault: You mean Paul Carrack? I can think of a couple, How Long, “Tempted” when he was with Squeeze. Nothing else stands out.

  22. Doug Ault says:

    Naw,Mike was in Genesis,not the singer Paul Carrack,it drove me nuts when Mike and the mechanics came out,trying to figure out where I’d heard the voice before

  23. BigFatHippo says:

    @Steve: “Even down here I had to secure all loose items.”


    That’s funny man. Are all your Kiwi’s still in the trees? Wait, is that a bird or a fruit?

  24. Steve says:

    Both, in fact.

    Although, ironically, neither will be found in a tree. The kiwi (bird) is flightless and the kiwi (fruit) grows on a vine.

  25. BigFatHippo says:

    @Doug Ault: @Steve: Sweet, I win the trivia contest.

    Show him what he’s won Grey.

    ” A new Kiwi, a wingless fruit with hairy feathers.”

  26. Doug Ault says:

    @BigFatHippo: You got it as I was typing,was he in Squeeze?

  27. Steve says:

    ‘Tis a great song. I’ve often wondered who sang it. It has a very 70s West Coast Rock feel to it – for a song done by a bunch of Englishmen.

    I’m old enough to remember when it was popular the first time round…

  28. BigFatHippo says:

    @Doug Ault: Yeah, for one song, lead singer on Tempted. Comes in a close 2nd to Black Coffee in Bed, IMO.

  29. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Coffee in Bed made MTV, back when it was actually “music” TV.

    Wait a minute, how the hell’d we get on this subject? How bout that Torri Hunter huh?

  30. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: It’s Double I, not Double R. Hopefully he has a solid Sept., but his steals are pretty down this year.

  31. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: I was just throwing a name out there and always get the name wrong. I’m illigitamate, er, illogical, er, illiteral, unliterate? Leave me alone, I’m also drunk. Left work at 2 o the clock to play pool.

    I drink better when I’m playing pool.

    BTW. Refuse to type Tori’s extra i, reminds me of a third nipple.

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: “BTW. Refuse to type Tori’s extra i, reminds me of a third nipple.” That’s hilarious!

  33. knighttown says:

    The Billy Butler spot start seems to be going OK but do I have the cojones to drop him? No, I do not.

    Please rank potential starters for tomorrow (as I’ve mentioned HR of little importance):
    Aviles, Butler vs. Anthony Reyes
    Choo @ Duckworth
    BJ Upton @ Halladay
    Matsui @ Morrow
    Konerko vs. Weaver
    Dickerson vs. Harden

  34. Grey

    Grey says:

    @knighttown: Choo, Butler, Upton, Dickerson, Konerko, Aviles, punt.

  35. knighttown says:

    Anyone see this Travis Snyder kid the Jays called up yet? Youngest position player in MLB (20) went 3 for 3 with a bomb tonight after handling Joe Nathan last night. Two outs and a man on second, took good cuts on his 95mph fastballs, didn’t even look twice at his breaking ball and ripped a 3-2 slider for a game tying double. What’s his pedigree like?

  36. Grey

    Grey says:

    @knighttown: Shorthand, he’s lot like Chris Davis and Jay Bruce. He strikes out a lot and he has power. He could also catch pitchers under prepared to get him out and he could have a solid three weeks. In other words, worth a flier, but he might go 0-for-next week. He’s very underdeveloped.

  37. royce! says:

    Gotta drop Big Z, and am trying for a SP that would make 3 starts from 9/15-28. Garza just got dropped in my league (MIN, @BAL, @DET)- should I pick him up or one of the following:

    Wellemeyer (@CIN, ARI, CIN)
    Wandy (@FLA, CIN, ATL)
    Malholm (LAD, HOU, @SD)
    Jimenez (SD, @SF, @ARI)

  38. Doug Ault says:

    @knighttown:As Grey said,he’s very raw,but he’s the future of the Jays

  39. wassup says:

    kevin slowey or olliver perez?

  40. Shogun says:

    Wheeler throws 1/3 of an inning and gets a save. Does anyone know why they didn’t give Percival the chance?

  41. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wassup: Slowey

    @Shogun: I didn’t see the game so the only thing I can think of is the Yankees came back real fast and they didn’t want Percival to come in in the middle of an inning and rush him so they threw Wheeler to the wolves.

  42. Steve says:

    @Grey: Fuck that.

    Excuse my language but I’ve been at a long lunch. On the day Mike G shuts the door with relative ease, my opponent gets a one-out – nay, a one-pitch – save?

    Sheesh. Still 8-1 to me though ;-)

  43. Nick says:

    tied for 3rd in whip, 5th in ERA and 4th in W & K. 8 team league. Starting Sabathia tomorrow. Do I also start Nolasco against STL ? around +6 for IP.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Nick: Yeah, I would.

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