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I’m Asian, so it’s not raycess. Err, I think.

There have been many a fine years for a many a fine players in this 2013 Baseball season. As summer comes to a close and your mother puts her top back on, we can surmise the season like so — we have seen some good things, some bad things, and some strange things. Mostly because I’m including Tehol in the sample. Why? That matters less than you think. But this is why the game is played. And that point being established, I must say, Hisashi Iwakuma‘s year can be lumped in as a very fine year. A former Japanese starting pitcher, turned reliever by the Mariners, turned back into a starter by the aforementioned Mariners, Iwakuma has solidified the fact that he belongs on your Fantasy Baseball roster, including a 7.0 IP, 0 ER performance against the Cardinals last night. But to what degree does he belong on your roster? And are we doing Celsius or Fahrenheit? All important questions. Well, based on numbers, he looks to be around the James Shields, Jon Lester, Cole Hamels area. There doesn’t appear to be a crazy amount of regression due, the environment is a big plus, and there’s an okay history of health here. I’m willing to buy him in that zone next year. Anyhoo, here’s what else I noticed yesterday:

Jose Altuve — 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, and his 5th home run. He’s once again brought the steals, but without much power and a batting average closer to .300, he’s not really ‘All-tuve’, more like, ‘Fast-tuve’. Which is almost too clever.

Pedro Alvarez — 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI, and his 33rd home run. Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill.

Chris Archer — 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (no walks), 7 Ks. Much like Sterling Archer, I find both to be a tad overrated, but they have their moments, and can provide above-average production.

Andrew Brown — 1-for-2, 2 runs, 1 RBI, and his 7th home run. Literally, the most vanilla name I’ve ever seen. Sans Vanilla Ice.

Madison Bumgarner — 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks. Nicknamed MadBum. Which to me equals a crazy-hobo, or, you know, taco-butt. Not exactly the pick of the litter here…

Robinson Cano — 4-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs. Should we feel disappointed that from all these hits, there were no home runs? I think they call this spoiled. Which, technically, is Cano’s fault. How dare he do this to us.

Yoenis Cespedes — 1-for-4, 1 run, 3 RBIs, and his 23rd home run. Okay, so the last two weeks, he’s been what I can best describe as RED HOT MAGMA. All-caps because it’s just that hot.

How do I feel about the Cespedes resurgence thus far? 

Damn straight.

Stephen Drew — 2-for-4, 2 RBIs. Looks like Stephen Drew up a great game plan tonight. I have no idea how I would have worded this if he was a writer, and not, um, a drawer.

Jacoby Ellsbury — Still has yet to resume baseball activities. Speaking of which, if I throw something, anything at someone or something, or, say, wear my socks really high, or, I don’t know, wear eye-black, are these not baseball activities? What I’m really trying to say is, how do know for sure that Ellsbury has done none of these things? For example, he must throw trash away, right? I mean, this whole thing could be a cover, and then where would we be? WHERE WOULD WE BE?

Prince Fielder — 2-for-4, 1 run, 3 RBIs, and his 24th home run. Not exactly the year we were all expecting. Then again, he is just a Prince. King Fielder is probably the guy we should be drafting here.

David Hale — 5.0 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, and 9 Ks. His first Major League start for an injured Paul Maholm. The weatherman called for a strikeout-storm with a 100% chance of Hale. Weather puns bro.

Brad Hand — 5.2 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. If you’ve been following the Saturday Notes lately, you know that I sometimes meld in some Deep Impact series analysis when I can. And Brad Hand is a great place to do that, I so do declare. More likely a left-handed reliever, or what the fancy-pants call a LOOGY, there is a chance he remains a starter. Hand certainly has the repertoire to start, with a curveball, slider, and changeup to go with a low-90s fastball. The problem is, all of those pitches grade out to mediocre. If he can show some success, a mid-rotation starter ceiling is there for the taking, and something like Jon Niese could happen. Along with plenty of Hand-job jokes. So there’s a lot to root for here.

Chase Headley — 1-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI, and his 11th home run. Homer Alert: Condition Desperate. Well, there are some signs of marginal improvement in the second half, and in the past two weeks, he’s been getting his hits and walks. But the power is still missing. Still a prospective buy-low for next season, but no other player, besides R.A. Dickey, has made me live up to my namesake in such an efficient manner.

Derek Holland — 3.0 IP, 6 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks. Well, besides last night, there are definite signs here that Holland has turned a corner and transformed himself into a front-line pitcher. However, there are no signs that he actually is from Holland. The bigger question then becomes, is he maybe from Derek? Just move along, nothing to see here.

Ian Kennedy — 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Do not start outside of PetCo. Do not start against good offensive teams. Do not start against homer happy teams. Do not start against left-handed-heavy lineups. So yeah, you should be starting Kennedy, according to this strategy, never.

Clayton Kershaw — 7.0 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners (no walks), 6 Ks. I’m pretty sure Andrew McCutchen comes away with the MVP, but there’s a case to be made for Kershaw. Did you know that he is only one year older than Matt Harvey? /Mind Blown.

Howie Kendrick — 2-for-5, 1 run. His first action back since being activated from the disabled list earlier this week.

Hiroki Kuroda — 6.0 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks. When we say ‘regress’, we don’t mean regress this much.

Mat Latos — 6.2 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. Someone should tell him that he’s missing a ‘T’ in his first name. Unless he accidentally put it in his last name. So, he really could be Matt Laos. I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

Adam Lind — 2-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs, and his 20th home run. I almost typed ‘Mitch Moreland‘. I’m not sure which one to feel more sorry for.

Brad Miller — 0-for-5. Can you believe people got upset with me for not including Nick Franklin in my Top-100 Keepers list? Oh, wait, what was that? I didn’t put in Brad Miller either? Err. Forget I said anything.

Yadier Molina — 0-for-4. Returned to the starting lineup after being out a couple of days to be with his mother. Who underwent surgery. Yo momma underwent surgery! Literally.

Jon Niese — 6.1 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. I once nicked him ‘Niese The Nose Job‘. I no longer wish to call him that. For this year, I’m going for something along the lines of ‘Niese, The Too Late To Help Me Out But Thanks For The Beginning Of The Season When You Persisted In Gross Negligence.’ I don’t know, has a pretty good ring to it.

Alexei Ramirez — 3-for-4. They call him Sexy-Alexei, and while I cannot make that physical determination, because chicks, bro. His overall fantasy value, which I can make a determination on, does not meet that criteria. So, for fantasy purposes, he shall be known, hence forth, as ‘Doesn’t Do Much Alexei’. It’s a refractory rhyme. Totally.

Hanley Ramirez — The Dodgers are still waiting on the MRI results on his hamstring. The history here dictates that we should start upgrading our level of panic by a factor of Yellow Alert. Let’s see how this plays out.

Colby Rasmus — 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI, and his 19th home run. A good night after being activated off the 15-day disabled list from a left oblique strain. Has yet to be activated from the 1,460-day bust list. That one might last a bit longer.

Wilin Rosario — 2-for-5, 1 run, 4 RBIs. Impressive.

How many RBIs did Rosario get?

Thanks bro. You answered my question.

Darin Ruf – 0-for-3. In 269 career plate appearances, Darin Ruf has hit 16 home runs and has slugged .526. Projected to a full season, that would be around 36 home runs. More importantly, why no one has nicknamed him ‘Ruf-Rider’ is beyond me.

Danny Salazar – 3.2 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks. Was taken out early, not for an injury, but for throwing like 187 pitches in just three innings. On top of that, I always call him Denny Salazar for some reason. Could it be how I feel about Moons-Over-My-Hammy? Or that maybe every Danny I’ve ever known was a jerk? Quite possibly both.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia — 2-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs, and his 13th home run. The leading cause of carpal tunnel syndrome among baseball writers.

Giancarlo Stanton — 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, and his 21st and 22nd home runs. I will never believe in you again. Until next year’s draft, when I will surely convince myself that you are to be believed in again. Such is life, the cyclical aspect of it all. Something-something wax poetic.

Nick Swisher — 1-for-3, 1 run. It’s not that I want to talk about Swisher, but no one else really did anything production-wise for the Indians. So yeah, once I passed Michael Bourn in the box score, I just pulled an ‘ef it’ and settled. They now call this ‘Swish it’. So there’s that I guess.

Hector Santiago — 4.0 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. Like the lede, Santiago was once a strong bullpen piece that was moved into the starting role. While the control doesn’t always show up, the K’s do, so if you have room for a high-WHIP, high-strikeout guy, this is who he is.

Stephen Strasburg — Was scratched from yesterday’s start with right forearm tightness. That’s why God created the stranger. Do it.

B.J. Upton and Justin Upton — (B.J. DNP, which is a net positive.) 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI, and his 25th home run. In a first for my Saturday Daily Notes, allow me to introduce a conversation I had with the Upton brothers:

Jaywrong: “Hey guys, I hope you don’t mind, I’ve just started lumping you two together into my notes, because I really don’t care anymore. Just, you know, you guys are, ugh. Ya know?”

B.J. and Justin: “Oooo. Slider in the dirt. Hold on right there, we gotta go chase that.”

Justin Verlander — 6.2 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners (no walks), 7 Ks. A sorta-Verlandy type of start, eh? Man, who are we kidding? This sucks.

Adam Wainwright — 8.0 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. I remember the days when I used to be part of the ‘Right’ family. Treat it with care Adam. For let me be the lesson, that one day, you shall be known as Wainwrong. And tears will flow.

Ryan Zimmerman — 3-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI, and his 24th home run. On one side of the coin, he can have nights like this. On the other side, oblique explosion. If you want to flip that coin, by all means, go for it.

Jaywrong is a 30-year old Korish writer who finds solace using Makers Mark as a vehicle to impress women, and also has an affinity for making Jennifer Lawrence GIFs. You can follow him @jaywrong, read his blog Desultory Thoughts of a Longfellow, or, you can find his GIFs at his tumblr, named Siuijeonseo.

 

From Around The Web

  1. Big AL says:
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    Picked up Iwakuma aka- The Ninja- in the high teens on all 4 of my teams. Had him on my want list for how well he finished as a starter in 2012. The Ninja could easily be 18-6 right now with just a run or two in some of his ND that he went 7-8 innings in QS. This guy is money. He’s a solid number 2 on any team. 2.87 ERA and a 1.03 WHIP. He was awesome this year. I’m not sure what his ADP was last year, but what do you think it jumps up to next year ? He’ll be my number 3-4 target SP for next year. I love my Ninja !!!!!

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Big AL: not sure. Some people will believe, some won’t. But I agree with what you said.

  2. RollieFingerBang says:
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    How are you guys not making a huge deal over the tear Zimmerman is on right now? He has 9 homers in his last 11 games!!!! Is it because he tore Grey’s heart out all season up to now? C’mon! He is absolutely CARRYING my team in the playoffs right now. I’m too lazy to look this up, so I’ll just ask: when’s the last time a player went on a tear this big in September?

    • matt says:
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      @RollieFingerBang: funny. .I saw his name up there. .. guess you didn’t read the whole rundown.

    • Shoop Da Whoop says:
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      @RollieFingerBang: Tulo went Bonds/Ruth in 2011 and single handedly carried me to a title when I lost Hamilton and Pedroia. In a 12 team league.

      • Shoop Da Whoop says:
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        @Shoop Da Whoop: Wait, that was 2010, not 2011. Still, Tulo went absolutely nuts and single-handedly won my offensive matchups.

    • Chicken Dinner says:
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      @RollieFingerBang: Tulo’s September ’10 will go down as the best stretch of hitting in baseball history. I remember I knocked the guy who had him out of the playoffs by on point. 9/2-9/18 : 23R 14HR 33RBI 74TB 16gm

      Unreal.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @RollieFingerBang: good for you. I don’t touch him in any leagues anymore.

    • Professor X says:
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      @RollieFingerBang: Zimmerman went off last year in the second half as well. He hit .360 last July with 10 HR, then .315 in Aug, then .290 in September with 7 homeruns.

      So this isn’t the first time he’s done this… I specifically drafted him this year for what he could do for me in the second half of the season.

      It just sucks that he’s doing all this during my bye week this week. I hope he keeps it going next week.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @RollieFingerBang: hunter pence, this week, against me. 16 rbi’s. 24 bases. Washington isn’t making any playoffs, unless you mean in hockey, where they play in the worst division, where the winner gets the guaranteed 3rd seed, when they often really deserve like the 6th.

  3. Chicken Dinner says:
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    Pick two for next week.

    Ruf, Blackmon, Dickerson <<home, K.Davis, Sierra.

  4. Chris says:
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    Need a spot starter for tomorrow. H2H pts league and in a tight battle. Not much to choose from but which is more likely to give positive points:

    E. Volquez vs. S.F. (Vogelsong) or Tyler Cloyd @ Wash. (Zimmerman)

    Thanks!

    • Chicken Dinner says:
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      @Chris: That’s scary. Playing neither is the safe bet.
      Volquez. The Nats are hot right now.

      • Chris says:
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        @Chicken Dinner: Yeah. Tell me about it. Wish I had the option of playing neither. Trying to play catch up in semi-finals. Probably will take a deep breath and go with Volquez but wanted opinions. Thanks.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Chris: eh, yeah. This demands an option c. Volquez though. Nats are hot.

      • Chris says:
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        @jaywrong: Ha. Option C was Paul Clemens vs. LAA and option D was Pedro Hernandez vs TB (Price). I may be looking at a loss……

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Chris: Sheesh. Scary.

  5. Justin says:
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    JayWrong good shit as always…. I have a keeper question for you. 12 team H2H 6×6(OPS,QS) 7 player keeper league which seven of these players would you lean toward keeping for 2014 and beyond??

    Kinsler,Rizzo,Starlin,Taveras,Granderson,Yelich,D.Jennings,Anibal,Iwakuma,Ryu,Cobb.. I appreciate your input on this… I have a good idea of the seven but maybe there is something I don’t know that I should.

    Keep up the awesome work.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Justin: Thanks.

      I’d go Rizzo, Taveras, Yelich, Anibal, Kinsler, Starlin and Iwakuma right now.

  6. Anthony says:
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    @jaywrong some guy dropped mariano and carlos torres because hes losing his playoff matchup bad and needs to stream – Should I make a claim for any of those guys ??? ( h2h PTS )

    Colon
    Cole
    Perkins RP
    Nathan RP
    Janssen RP
    H Santiago
    Latos
    Ryu
    Gray
    Peacock
    Zimmermann
    Cashner
    Mccallister

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Anthony: If you need saves, I would drop McAllister for Rivera.

  7. ty says:
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    Yo Jay… I’m in a roto league and i’m barely hanging on by a thread in the top 4. We change spots on a daily basis. should i bench guys like miggy and utley for guys with more upside to get me points? I can grab guys like gyrko, frazier, bonafacio or chris johnson. For utley I might slide zobrist into his spot and grab villar to play ss. I just need to maintain stats and have no clue if teams are going to sit their stars. Thnx

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @ty: I think you stick with Miggy. For Utley, I like Gyorko a bit better down the stretch. Zobrist would be fine too. Villar is hot right now, so that sounds like a good play.

      • ty says:
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        @jaywrong: ok thanks jay

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @ty: no probs.

  8. Kimosabi509 says:
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    The upton brothers’ notes made me laugh so hard I just woke up my napping 3yr old. Fuck it, it was worth it, bro. Lol.

    Keep up the good work and thanks for the laughs this season. Shots of soju for Jay!

  9. Kimosabi509 says:
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    After remembering the byline, I should have said couple hits of my stash instead of shots of soju.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Kimosabi509: Haha, either way, salud brotha.

      • Kimosabi509 says:
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        Last thing: Bacon!!!!! Come on, Porcello, I need you to come thru for me this week!

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Kimosabi509: me too, own him in a few where its coming down to the wire.

  10. steve b says:
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    well if I would have taken Goldschmidt who was taken two picks later instead of j upton with my second rd pick I would be in first in the fantasy 411 league instead of second.But if frogs had wings they wouldn’t bump their ass on rocks either. We had our differences of opinions this year Jay but I always came back to read you Now Sky is a different story

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @steve b: wow, pretty smart league where goldy went in the 2nd round. yahoo ADP was like 45 or so.

      • Jay

        jaywrong says:
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        @goodfold2: The yahoo ADP’s can be so goofy though.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @steve b: I appreciate it. Sky is always questionable to me, but I love him regardless.

      To know him, is to love him. And to love him is to know him. To know that you love him is to love knowing him.

      Exactly.

  11. Kawasaki MVP! says:
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    Who should I start this week?

    Cain vs mets
    Sale vs det
    Parker vs twins

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Kawasaki MVP!: going with Cain.

  12. Jack says:
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    Cueto is starting tomorrow @HOU(Bedard). He’s on a pitch count. Do you think he’ll get enough pitches to qualify for a W and not kill my rates?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Jack: against hou, I think so.

  13. Wronger –

    Any update on Cespedes “shoulder injury”? Looking for updates anywhere I can find them like a crackhead, so hoping you are my huckleberry. Have my H2H semi-final with line-ups due by midnight tonight (Sunday)so obviously, this is pretty critical. To hedge, I picked up Reddick and have him temporarily inserted him for Cespedes, but really don’t want to lose the ABs and the production outta my sexy cubano now that he’s finally stroking. Ugh.

    Same problem with Starling Marte. No clue what to do here either. Been on my bench the last month awaiting for him to swing a bat and get re-inserted into line-up, but Hurdle keeps delaying. Now it’s $$ time, so I’m grabbing Corey Dickerson (COL), who gets a 7 home game slate with NO Cargo and faces 6 RHP, so assuming I can get 25-30 ABs outta him.

    14 team, redraft, 6×6 (ops) league.

    So – the QUESTIONS (who the fuggggg to start)? Help me, baby Jesus — choose 2 of 4:
    Starling Marte (7 home games; 4 v. SD, 3 v. CIN) — 6 RHP, 1 LHP
    Yoenis Cespedes (7 home games; 3 v. LAA, 4 v. MIN) — 3 RHP, 4 LHP
    or
    Corey Dickerson (7 home games; 4 v. STL, 3 v. ARZ) — 6 RHP, 1 LHP
    Josh Reddick (7 home games; 3 v. LAA, 4 v. MIN) — 3 RHP, 4 LHP

    Thoughts? Thanks…

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @EL Burro: Sorry buddy, can’t find anything current. But I don’t like the sound of a MRI.

      I know Reddick homered tonight, so he might be an okay play.

      I’d put Marte out there instead of Dickerson.

  14. Aaron says:
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    Ryu vs. Arizona? He’s looked a bit worn out of late. Too many innings?

    A

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Aaron: yeah, I’m a little worried about that start.

      • Aaron says:
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        Thanks mate. That’s all I needed to sit him.

        A

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Aaron: as did I. Good luck to both of us.

  15. Kevin says:
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    12 teams, 6 keepers.

    Pick from:
    Stanton, Goldschmidt, Longoria, Hanley
    Braun, Bruce, Puig, Fernandez

    Braun and Fernandez are taking up roster spots…should I drop one of them for just a playoff stream? Only 3 adds per week.

    Thanks

  16. troy says:
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    asked a couple guys this but want to get some different opinions, would you drop marte or pagan for dickerson? hes at home against righties all week sets up for big success and could use a good hitter for the semi finals. Also dunn been struggling would you drop him for say lind who also has great matchups this week? thanks

    • Kevin says:
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      @troy: Yes, I’d drop Marte. His hand won’t be back to normal until next year. Any other options in the OF? Calhoun?

      Yes I’d take Lind vs RHP over Dunn.

      • troy says:
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        @Kevin: added dickerson at home since out league is a 10×10 with walks and strike outs at categories, he already helped with 2 walks and some runs

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