The first thing I like to do for all prospects, Aaron Judge included, is look up their video highlights, because I’m not familiar with them as much as I want to be. Aaron Judge looks like Giancarlo Stanton. A few things on comparing him to Giancarlo. I did it first, then Googled Aaron Judge + Giancarlo and a lot, I mean, a lot of people have compared the two. That means nothing, because now I’m comparing him to Giancarlo and Giancarlo is my novio and we have a daughter together that we named Giancarla, so when I compare someone to Giancarlo, it is said with profound love and a sharp crease in my khakis. I don’t think I’ve ever compared another player to Giancarlo before. That is the kind of praise Aaron Judge is currently receiving. If Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Duvall would’ve starred in a movie about this Judge, the movie would’ve been good. You feel me? Okay, stop touching me now. Judge looks like he could hit 40 homers with the Yankees tomorrow. That’s, of course, if there were games tomorrow. (Only 140 more days without baseball!) I don’t think Judge is 100% butter, i.e., as good as Giancarlo. I’m not just saying that because Giancarlo and I have matching tattoos. The stats seem to bear that out, or bare if you’re a nudist. In Double-A, Judge hit 12 homers in 63 games at the age of 23. Giancarlo hit 21 homers in 53 games in Double-A at the age of 20, then hit 20 homers that same year with the Marlins. Giancarlo is a once-in-a-decade bat; Judge is similar, just not quite there, which in itself is very impressive. And it’s not just that Judge stands six-seven and is 230 pounds bone-dry. His swing looks like my Gian-novio. Judge is a giant beast of a man and mollywhops with the best of them. This is not fiction, this is biographical, researchable evidence. Anyway, what can we expect of Aaron Judge for 2016 fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you are a true fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!), then when you read Byron Buxton‘s name in the title, you waved yourself with a handkerchief like you were Scarlett O’Hara and stutter-stepped like you might pass out. That’s how sexy Buxton is. Another sign of his sexiness, I searched his name on the top right of the site and there were ten pages of results with ten results on each page. 100 posts about Buxton and he’s still a rookie! This is like the chicken and the egg. Are we victims of the hype and hence there’s that many posts about him or are we perpetuating the hype by writing that many posts about him? Brucely, my dear, I don’t give a damn! At this point, you might be asking your mirror, “You, with the handsome head of hair that you paste onto your head every morning, why is Buxton hyped? Wasn’t he garbage last year?” You’re right, you, you smart person you. Buxton was awful this past year in his small cup of coffee; let’s say his espresso was bitter and no amount of lemon rind was helping it. In 138 plate appearances, he had 129 at-bats. Doesn’t that tell you so much? Okay, how about the .209 average with two homers and two steals with two times caught stealing. Does that round out the picture of crapitude he was sporting? Must I remind you that Trout’s first espresso was awful too? Ciao, faccia brutta! Anyway, what can we expect of Byron Buxton for 2016 fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Colorado farm is full of tasty fantasy prospects, with five names that could easily slot into a Top 50 overall. You’re going to have to tread carefully here with pitching prospects, but despite the unfriendly home territory there are still three arms that are worth looking into for dynasty leagues. On the hitting side, there’s a bunch of high-upside youngsters who may one day call the best hitter’s environment in baseball their home. While we didn’t see many graduations in 2015, we did get to watch Nolan Arenado evolve from a potential monster into an actual monster…so that was fun. After picking third overall in 2015 – and making good use of it with Brendan Rodgers – the Rockies will pick fourth overall in the 2016 draft. That should give them another blue chip prospect to add to their collection.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ayo whaddup, it’s ya boy Grey Albright aka the Fantasy Master Lothario aka White Chocolate aka The Ladder You Use To Reach New Heights aka The God Particle aka Supreme Court Judge Reinhold aka Paid Overtime aka Close Parking Spot When You’re In A Rush aka Al Swearengen’s Swearing Dictionary aka Teacher, We Don’t Need No Education aka The Weird Guy That Latches Onto The Main Character In Oscar Films I Think His Name Is Paul Dano aka The Butcher, The Baker and The Candlestick Maker aka The Stinging On Your Pinkie Toe When You Clip Too Close aka Paul Anka aka Forget How To Spell My Name And Just Get Me My Coffee! I just spent thirty minutes looking up Mindy Cohn and whether or not she’s a lesbian. Ah, the offseason. You are a soothing mistress that touches my naughty bits with idle hands. She’s apparently not a lesbian, but a confirmed friend of the gays, and she wanted to lose weight in the 80’s, but the producers asked her to avoid it for the character of Natalie. They finally agreed to let her wear baggy clothes. No comment, except the “no comment” comment has the weight of a thousand eye rolls. A quick preamble about the 2016 fantasy baseball rookie series that is coming from me over the next few weeks. Rookies could get a post if they meet MLB eligibility requirements, less than 130 ABs or 50 IP. That means no Michael Conforto, no Greg Bird and no Domingo Santana. In 2012, the first player I highlighted was Mike Trout. That wasn’t an accident. I said in the Mike Trout post, “He’s ranked number one for me. Numero uno. The Big Mahoff. He’s the big Statue of Liberty in New York, not that girly one in Paris!” Since then, I’ve attempted to make the first rookie post about a prospect that will be the top rookie for fantasy the following year. This prospect isn’t no ordinary man, this is the prospect I be seeing in my sleep. Corey Seager will be your number one 2016 fantasy baseball rookie. Will Seager be named to the All-Century Team in 85 years or edged out by a robot with grabby hands named the Hitter-Tron that my great-great-nephew will sue over due to trademark infringement only to find out it’s the same Hitter-Tron that once graced this little fantasy baseball blog called Razzball? Can Seager be a number one outfielder in 2016? So many questions and so little time to look up Mindy Cohn info! Anyway, what can we expect of Corey Seager for 2016 fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I remember when I first came in contact with Fantasy Golf. I was eight years old on the boardwalk of the Jersey Shore and my grandmother and I were at a makeshift tiki hut where a teenager was handing out clubs. I held a golf club up to my waist — perfect size! The teenager then handed me a scorecard, a mini pencil and, finally, a golf ball, but it slipped through my little fingers and started bouncing down the boardwalk. I gave chase and, right as I was about to reach the bouncing ball, tripped and the mini golf pencil went through the palm of my hand. Now, whenever I have to sign anything, I just turn my hand over and scribble with the back of my hand. *intern whispers in my ear* I’m told Fantasy Golf is not mini putt-putt where you play wearing a wizard’s pointed hat and try to avoid getting your ball in the dragon’s moat. That is a shame. Well, in that case, what are we doing? *intern whispers in my ear* Uh-huh. *intern whispers in my ear* Right. *intern whispers in my ear* And… *intern whispers in my ear* Okay, okay, stop. I don’t have a clue about Fantasy Golf. Like zero clues. Like I’m in an elevator and Professor Plum, Colonel Mustard and Mrs. White all get on and I still have no clue. (That is almost as strained as every analogy Tom Verducci makes in the announcer’s booth of the World Series. “These managers will need to be more imaginative than Stephen King!” Apparently, Harold Reynolds’s stupid is rubbing off.) Since I had no idea, I asked our Fantasy Golf ‘pert, Joe MacDonald (who I believe was the villain on Happy Gilmore) to explain it, and here’s what he said:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves are in a rebuilding period, and after a few trades their farm looks a lot different than it did at this time last year. Mike Foltynewicz, Williams Perez, Jace Peterson, Adonis Garcia, and Matt Wisler all surfaced in the majors with mixed results. In one of the more surprising moves, Atlanta took on Cuban import Hector Olivera from the Dodgers as part of a much larger deal that included Alex Wood and Jose Peraza. Peraza would have easily topped this year’s list, and while Olivera is a very good prospect in his own right, the initial reaction to the trade was confusion. 2016 will be a continuation of the rebuild, and the Braves can add another premium prospect with the third overall pick in the draft.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, how’s everyone holding up without fantasy baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! This week I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Chris Tillman for 2016. Then I laughed hysterically for a good twenty minutes until someone asked me to leave. We’ve gone over the final 2015 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. There’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking about 2016 rookies next. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Baseball is over! Wait, um, what World Series? My Brewers aren’t in it, so I’m not watching… i.e. I never watch the World Series…
2015 was a very interesting year for pitchers with a lot of unique things – guys coming out of nowhere, a lot of TJ surgeries, a crazy amount of Ks… Wait, OK, never mind, it was about the same! Hopefully with the doldrums of winter upon us for fantasy baseball, you hopped into some fantasy basketball leagues and can join us for an indoor fantasy sport!
Recapping February ranks can be pretty eye-opening. As in, seeing my Chris Archer rank makes me want to gouge my eye out! Maybe that would be eye-closing then… Anywho, for the second straight season I went through my top 100 from Spring to see what went right and what went Chien-Ming Wang. I think I did a little better than last year, especially when you consider James Paxton was easy to drop and didn’t just pitch bad all year…
You’ll find below in this War and Peace-esque recap SP sorted by my initial SP ranks in February, Grey’s SP pre-ranks in the top-400 sortable ranks post, ESPN’s SP pre-ranks based on whenever that list came out (I tried to find their most standardized ranks), then compared them to their Razzball Player Rater finish amongst SP. I also mention a few times my ranks edit right before the season, since it’s not really fair to grill me on Yu Darvish. No, Yu’re injury prone! With all those numbers thrust together to showcase best and worst calls, I review each pitcher and include which top-40 pitchers I failed to rank. I cut it off at 40 to make me look better, there were like 7 I didn’t rank between 40-50 and I’m lazy! Haha. And I promise, no more hyperlinks in the open! Here’s the recap to 2015’s starting pitching ranks:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Reds battled with the Phillies for the worst record in baseball and came away with the second overall pick in the 2016 draft. Another thing they had in common with the Phils was dealing their ace. Johnny Cueto netted the Reds three left-handed pitching prospects from the Royals, with Brandon Finnegan the centerpiece of the return. Raisel Iglesias had a solid rookie year, and the Cuban import will look to build on that in 2016. We should also see the Reds’ two best prospects (Winker/Stephenson) in Cincinnati at some point this year. Adam Duvall, the return when the Reds traded Mike Leake, will presumably get a long look and has enough power to be on fantasy radars. It probably won’t be a competitive year for the Reds, but they’ll have some interesting young pieces surfacing.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So much of life comes down to perspective. There are super successful people that are filled with bitterness and anger while others scrape by and are happy. I constantly have to remind myself how lucky I am – great wife & kids, healthy, have money in bank, love where I live – to avoid getting sucked into the craphole of the daily grind.
It is easy for people that do not play fantasy sports to dismiss our joy or anger at our fantasy baseball teams by saying ‘it is just a game.’ You can reduce just about everything people get passionate about with ‘it is just _____’. But that isn’t productive. Reveling in your successes and dismissing your failures only means you ensure less success because you do not fully learn from your failures. And it takes a healthy perspective to isolate the ‘fault’ from the ‘bad luck’ in one’s failures.
I write all this because my first year in Tout Wars was an excrutiating test to keep perspective. Let’s see how good a job I can do….Please, blog, may I have some more?