Lately it seems like every television network is airing a new O.J. Simpson show. I really couldn’t get into the People vs. O.J. Simpson. I just couldn’t get passed the fact that Ross Gellar was playing his best friend. Actually, I didn’t like Cuba Gooding or John Travolta either. The whole show felt about as fake as Bruce Jenner’s right to take a dump in the women’s bathroom. I haven’t had a chance to watch ESPN’s offering, so I can’t really comment. Here’s the deal. I think O.J. did it. Good old T.D. Parker is guilty. How ironic is it that a guy that hurts people used to be the face of Hertz. When he was acquitted, I remember hearing the phrase “The Juice is loose”. I don’t know if they had the death penalty in California, but I was pushing for “Juice the Juice!” Speaking of “the juice is loose“, anyone else have a craving for Starbursts? Screw O.J. Simpson. I’d much rather talk about a guy that’s hitting the cover off the ball.

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We have a special guest host this week. Marky Mark ladies and gentlemen! I enjoyed watching Entourage and The Italian Job. I forgot about the Marky Mark days. Now, I won’t be able to watch anything Wahlberg-related anymore. To honor the douchey-ness of the above picture, all whammies this week will be Marky Mark pictures.

Why bestow Marky Mark the honor of hosting this week’s No Whammies!? Because there are so many similarities between Mark Wahlberg (Marky Mark) and Mark Reynolds of the Colorado Rockies. Terrible segue, I know. Just like that POS vehicle that mall cops ride around in. I digress.

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Sup, readers of the Razz. Normally I lead with a pitcher call that I think is undervalued and sometimes I lead with a bat if said bat has enough to talk about with them. Don’t worry, I get paid by the word so you’ll never have to worry about me not having too much to say about anything. And yet, here we are. I’m speechless. This late slate of pitching has two beautiful scenarios at a high price and a whole lot of dreck. Ricky Nolasco is $7,100. He’s the seventh best pitcher, according to DK pricing. The world hates us, fam. I’ll have some points per dollar calls in the pitching today but in reality, pay up for the big two in cash and play in lots of tourneys with some bad arms elsewhere. Did I get you excited?!? Boy howdy! Ok, ok, let’s do this. Here’s my cover your hair and eyes hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Yesterday, Brian Dozier went 3-for-4, 4 RBIs with two homers (11, 12).  Dozier’s quietly had a great June (7 HRs, near-.350), after having a miserable May (2 HRs, .215) and an atrocious April (3 HRs, .191).  Who knows what July holds?  Which sounds like the title for a piece of art done by Daniel Johnston.  Let’s see, Daniel Johnston describing Dozier.  “June is Fun!  Fun!  Fun!  If I ever thought I could be happy, it was from Dozier.  Fun!  Fun!  Fun!  Oh!  That rock and roll!  It saves my soul!  Owning Dozier in June, it must’ve been a happy time, Kool Aid flowing like wine, the bubble gum, forever-ever-ever-ever-ever-ever after!  Now I will get on a random bus in Austin and ride to New Mexico.”  Oh, Daniel Johnston, you were taken from us way too soon.  *sees he’s still alive*  Okay, moving on.  So, Dozier has turned his season around and is close to the same pace as his previous season stats (28 HRs, 12 SBs).  Moreover, Dozier has cut his Ks by a lot, so he could hit for a better average this year (.250 vs. .235).  Daniel Johnston might be onto something.  About fun, fun fun not about getting on random buses.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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It’s been awhile since there’s been any Trevors of note. In 1986, professional boxer Trevor Berbick became the first (and only) person to fight both Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson. If you’re a fan of the Castlevania series of video games, the name Trevor Belmont might ring a bell. Most fantasy baseballers are undoubtedly familiar with Trevor Hoffman’s dominance from the mid 90s through the end of his Padres days (and with apologies to Mariano Rivera, it’s hard to forget the coolest entrance in baseball history). Lately though, there haven’t been too many newsworthy Trevors out there. Perhaps Trevor Noah would qualify, but longtime fans of The Daily Show would probably insist that it’s for all of the wrong reasons. In fantasy baseball, however, there’s been no shortage of relevant Trevors in recent weeks. Let’s start off by highlighting this week’s most added player in ESPN leagues, Cleveland Indians starting pitcher Trevor Bauer (69.3% owned; +32.1% over the past week). Known mostly for his extreme training techniques and inconsistency throughout his MLB career, Bauer had been notoriously unreliable from a fantasy perspective entering the 2016 season. Since making his MLB debut with the Diamondbacks in 2012, Bauer has posted solid strikeout numbers (8.45 K/9) but has been a ratio killer along the way (4.50 ERA, 1.38 WHIP entering this season). These poor ratios have been largely a result of shaky control (4.2 BB/9) and an inability to consistently keep the ball in the park (1.1 HR/9). This season, Bauer ditched his mediocre slider in favor of a cutter, and reduced his reliance on his fourseam fastball while leaning more heavily on his sinker, terrific curveball, and vastly improved changeup. The results have been impressive. Bauer has managed to maintain his solid K-rate (8.37 K/9) while drastically cutting down on his walks (2.99 BB/9) and homers (0.7 HR/9) allowed. His new pitch mix has resulted in a career high 50.0% GB% as well. Over his last five starts, Bauer has been downright dominant (37.2 IP, 37/9 K/BB, 1 HR, 1.67 ERA, 0.93 WHIP). If he can maintain his newfound control, you’re looking at a top 30 starting pitcher the rest of the way.

Here are a couple of other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

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Congratulations go out this week to the league members of Cougs R Us.  We’re all Cougs R Us kids after all.  I wouldn’t have guessed that it would be possible for three league members to all be inside the top 10 overall in the Master Standings, but by golly, they’ve done it!  Team Frost leads the way with a 101.5.  Next up is Team Bromelia, who despite being behind Fatuous Jeffreys in the league standings with 95.5 points (compared to Jeffreys 97), is ahead of them by 0.3 RCL points in the Master Standings.  These strong scores along with a great LCI of 104 have placed these three Cougs kids into the top 10 overall.  Impressive stuff.

Five leagues currently hold the top LCI of 104.  They are, in no particular order, Cougs R Us, ECFBL, FCL, Night of the Living Zombinos and the ‘Perty Perts league.  I’m impressed with the ‘Perts league index.  Typically the ‘Perts league has been a total pushover, full of mostly dead teams with only a few teams fighting it out ‘til the end.  It’s early yet and there’s a long season of Tehol’s stats yet to be compiled (or not compiled rather) but it will be fun to see if the ‘Perts can hold on.  FCL and ECFBL are no strangers to the top LCI leaderboard.  These leagues finished 1-2 last year with FCL (112) dethroning a long run of ECFBL (110) holding the title of “Most Competitive RCL”.  Keep fighting the good fight everyone, keep those LCIs high.  Let’s see what else what down in the RCLs in the week that was, week 12:

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Some things are easy to pinpoint when it comes to DFS. Overall, chalk plays tend to annoy me. More often than not, they don’t pan out the way they should. With that said, Nelson Cruz is chalk on Tuesday and he’s going to be in all of my lineups. Cruz is a lefty killer and faces off against Jon Niese and the Pittsburgh Pirates. On the season, Cruz has 19 homers, 10 of which have come against left-handed pitching. When you set your lineup, start with Cruz and build from there; you will not regret your decision….we interrupt this broadcast for a special announcement. *Makes the static-like noise knowing full well you can’t hear them*. Hey you. Yes you. What other you it would it be? You’re the one reading…anyhoo, if you’re just used to cruising by the italics, you might not want to today and moving forward. If you’ve reading these like a wallflower at the dance, now’s the time to sign up. For the rest of the year, you can get a free subscription to the DFSBot if you sign up through us through DraftKings. ‘But how do I do that’, you ask timidly, tears welling in your eyes all while clutching your Adventure Time lunch box. First off, you gotta be of age so either you’re kinda weird or you’re kinda not gonna be able to do this. Secondly, we’re ok with kinda weird; it’s our brand, after all. A, B, C’edly, you can click on the link in the italics below here to sign up which will give you access to one of the best projection tools in the entire industry. Anyways, the clicky-pops are just below here so don’t miss out on this great offer. And just so it’s clear as mud, here’s some legalese on how to make things go right from the Razzball Subscriptions page: Make a first-time deposit of at least $5 at DraftKings and open a free Cointent account (click here) with the same e-mail address to activate your subscription. This will provide access to the DFS Premium Package which is all the tools EXCEPT the lineup optimizers which will require a $50/season upgrade. This is the DFS Premium package. Please allow for up to 24 hours of activation of your account. This is the editor’s note signing off!

New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Oh man, what a Podcast we have for you today! This is easily our Pulitzer prize edition! On today’s show we talk about some pitchers, some hitters, ya know, the fantasy thing, but this is all about our special guest Jose Canseco! With the green light to joke around with him and everything being on the table, Grey and I really dive deep into Canseco’s media exploits and get to know the man, the myth, the legend. We easily put together one of the best interviews in Podcast history! Here’s out latest edition of the Razzball Baseball Podcast with Jose Canseco:

Download from iTunes

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Here’s what I said this offseason, “Before watching the video on Lucas Giolito, I looked at his vitals.  This is something I don’t usually do.  Doesn’t really matter to me if a guy is six-foot-one or five-ten.  But, dizzamn, Giolito is a strapping young man, huh?  He’s listed at six-six and 230.  He’s only 21 years old, but I think he’s done growing.  Hopefully, cause his mom tells CBS Sports that his “feet already hang off the bed.”  With a six-six frame, as you can imagine, he throws fast.  (Christall Young is the exception that proves the rule, an idiom that never made any sense to me.  If it’s an exception, how does it prove anything?  It proves that there’s exceptions, but that’s about it, right?  I’m gonna move on before my brain hurts in my thought-nodes.)  Giolito hits 97 MPH on his fastball, which is actually up a tick from the previous year.  If he keeps steadily increasing his fastball every year, by the time he’s 40 years old, he’s going to be throwing 117 MPH.  He throws from nearly right over the top, so the ball fires downhill and hitters have about no chance of hitting it.  A 9+ K/9 seems to be a given once he gets settled in the majors.  With speed comes no control, to sound like a drunk Yoda.  Or does it?!  Snap, reversed on that.  No, Giolito has control too.  97 MPH with command?  I’ll say it for you, hummna-hummna.  Oh, and his strikeout pitch is his hard breaking curve.  In 20 years, Al Pacino could be playing the role of a Hall of Fame pitcher in the film, Giolito’s Way.  Assuming Pacino has eighteen-inch stilettos.  He could be special, and TMZ spotted Pacino shopping for eighteen-inch stilettos, so that could be a good sign.”  And that’s me quoting me!  He should be added in all leagues, like yesterday.  To put just the tiniest bit of dampers in these happiness diapers, Kershaw had a 4.26 ERA his rookie year in 107 2/3 IP.  Rookies give roofies and take your kidneys.  Hashtag truth.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Ugh, ranking pitchers is so annoying sometimes! You like a guy, he sucks a little, you stop liking him, he then gets better… I’m changing this to monthly rankings here on out, dammit!

OK, rant over. Don’t worry, I’ll stick with the weekly ranks. But after buying into the Anthony DeSclafani hype in the pre-season, to taking him out of my ranks, to then rank him very aggressively when he got off the DL, only to see two meh starts including a rough one against the lowly Braves, and now DeSclafani is looking good again with that wicked slider has my panties bunchier than the chocolate in Buncha Crunch. I’m having a roller coaster of emotions! I feel like Yordano Ventura on the mound, I’m coming unhinged! I watched a good bit of DeSclafani’s first start off the DL hosting the A’s and he looked pretty good, but didn’t give it my 100% undivided attention. I think for my own sanity I needed to take a look with how he pitched yesterday afternoon against the Padres, to finally have a decision on this guy… Here’s how DeSclafani’s fourth start on the year went down:

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