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After the Orioles played 18 innings on Tuesday, delirium set it in and they said, “We’ve had two bean and cheese burritos since 6 o’clock and we have to pull a double shift ice trucking.  Somebody gives us a Christian side hug right now or we’re calling up Dylan Bundy.  Okay, fine.”  Only they did it with no punctuation and in a spot-on Christopher Walken impersonation.  For the ostriches with their heads stuck in the sand, Dylan Bundy is the Orioles 19-year-old who has been labeled by some as the best prospect to come out of high school since Babe Ruth had sex with Miss Agatha Hannigan and he was kicked out of his orphanage.  Bundy’s A-Ball numbers were insane.  He was too good for A-Ball.  A-Ball called a press conference and said, “You’re embarrassing us.  Please leave”  In 30 innings, he had 40 Ks and 2 walks.  Only giving up 5 hits and zero earned runs.  High-A wasn’t quite as bonkers, but wasn’t far off — 57 IP, 66 Ks and 18 walks with a 2.84 ERA.  In Double-A, it seemed like people started to finally catch up to his talent level, but he only threw 16 2/3 IP and had 13 Ks with a 3.24 ERA.  The Orioles also told him to stop using his cutter.  They said go with your 99 MPH fastball, i.e., I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Cutter.  So he’s adjusting.  Even without the cutter, he’s going to be a number one, an ace, the head cheese, the big mahoff, the big fish in the big pond, the best, Jerry, the best.  If he’s somehow not owned in your keeper, I’d grab him immediately.  I imagine he’ll start the year at Double-A and be in The Show, as the grizzled scouts call it, by June of 2013.  For this year, he’s not much more than a middle reliever.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Andy Pettitte – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Going into the game he was supposed to be on a 70 pitch count, but after 68 pitches, Girardi sent him out for the fifth and he got through the inning in 7 pitches for the win.  Regarding Girardi sending him back out, never underestimate a grown man, who gets braces, wanting to make people happy.  For his next start, Pettitte will be on a 90 pitch count, but if he noogies Girardi, he’ll get to throw 100.

Ichiro Suzuki – 7-for-8, 2 runs, 1 RBI and 4 steals.  He was obviously the pick up for yesterday’s doubleheader and not my Anthony Gose pickup.  So it Gose, so it Gose…

David Phelps – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Be interesting if the one Yankee starter without any hype actually becomes the one who breaks out with value.  And by interesting, I obviously mean not really that interesting.  He’s always had decent K-rates in the minors, but he’s been dogged by injuries and it would be slightly shocking if he became a fantasy number three next year.  For this year, he’s probably headed back to the bullpen with Pettitte’s return.  Or maybe the Yanks trade him for Jay Buhner Jr.

Andrelton Simmons – Sat out yesterday with a sore shoulder, but the Braves hope he’s back for Friday.  Andrelton has now been healthy/not healthy too many times.  Should Braves fans learn how to pronounce your name or not, man?!

Max Scherzer – He says he’s hoping to make his next start.  I say you put “hopes” in one hand and a sore shoulder in your other hand and tell me which one you can lift.

Miguel Cabrera – 1-for-3 with his 41st homer.  Now has 6 homers in the last week.  “I’d like to dedicate this H2H trophy to Miguel Cabrera.  Yes, my trophy is technically just a mule I’ve dressed in lady undergarments because I’ve watched Maria Full of Grace too many times, but it’s still significant to me.”

Jose Valverde – 1 IP, 2 ER.  Kazaam!

Lance Berkman – When asked about whether he could return this year, he said, “I’m not ruling anything out, but I’m not ruling it in, either.”  I’m guessing he plays all the numbers and the line between the Pass and Do Not Pass.

Yadier Molina – 2-for-3 with his 20th homer.  David Freese also went deep yesterday for his 20th homer.  I’m surprised by Freese, but I’m downright shocked by Yadier.  As anyone who likes to criticize me knows, I wasn’t high on Molina this year (or any year, for that matter).  When I recap everyone in the offseason, I’ll go more into depth here, but let me just say a 30-year-old catcher crushing his previous career high in homers, no one saw this coming…except maybe A.J. Pierzynski.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – 3 IP, 5 ER.  Dice-K, there’s too much meat on that gyro.

Pedro Ciriaco – 2-for-4, 2 runs with his 15th steal.  I get the feeling the Red Sox aren’t going to be starting Ciriaco next year (due to trading for people, or buying free agents), but he seems like the kind of guy that isn’t drafted in some mixed leagues, or very late, and ends up giving good value next year.  Like a .290+ average and 30 steals.

Alcides Escobar – 3-for-3 with a steal.  Speaking of a .290+ average and 30 steals…

Alejandro De Aza – 4-for-5, no runs and a caught stealing.  I only point that out because Rudy and I have about $8,000 riding on a few runs and some steals.  We have a friggin’ Mike Trout vacuum on this team.  While he’s been incredible, everyone else in our fantasy clubhouse feels like they don’t need to do anything.  Get your head out of your De Aza!

Brett Anderson – Fell down throwing a pitch in the 3rd inning and strained his oblique.  There’s injury prone and there’s accident prone.  Brett Anderson walks that tightrope between the two, falls, lands awkwardly in the net and hurts something.

Luke Scott – 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI.  I’m contractually obligated to mention Luke Scott whenever he gets multiple hits because it usually means he’s about to go on a week long streak.

Frank Francisco – Wasn’t available yesterday because he had throwing elbow tendinitis.  The Mets could go to Parnell or Rauch, depending on whether they go alphabetically or by elevation.

Matt Harvey – 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 Hit, 3 BBs, 7 Ks.  I just went over my Matt Harvey fantasy, so I’ll keep this brief — I’ll see you next year on my fantasy teams.  Bye-bye!  (Okay, I also wanted to be brief because I want to watch Survivor…. Jeff Kent!  Okay, back from watching, hmm…I hope Jeff Kent knows there’s no 15-day DL on Survivor.)

Aroldis Chapman - Threw yesterday without incident, but will need a few more sessions to work on command.  That never stopped Marmol!

Ryan Ludwick - He left yesterday’s game with tightness in his groin.   Sounds like someone saw Blair from The Facts of Life in wet mom jeans.

Ruben Tejada – 3-for-5, 1 run and his 3rd steal.  With 409 ABs, he’s batting .289 from leadoff (for the majority of his ABs) and he only has 48 runs.  How?!   I’ve mentioned this before, but could someone please look up if anyone’s ever batted first for the majority of the season and had so few runs as Tejada?  Or tweet the question to Tim Kurkjian and let him look it up.

Jimmy Rollins – 1-for-3 with his 22nd homer.  He now has more homers, steals and runs scored than anyone else in the last week.  Meanwhile, Kimmy Collins put a recipe for a blueberry milkshake on her Pinterest page.

Asdrubal Cabrera – Left yesterday’s game with renewed wrist soreness.  He says he might be able to return this weekend.  Sounds like *pinkie to mouth* wristful thinking.

Adrian Beltre – Sat out yesterday as he dealt with intestinal issues.  It seems it’s also “he who dealt it, felt it.”

Josh Hamilton – Missed yesterday’s game because of sinus issues.  Same thing used to sideline Felix Unger.

Joe Nathan – Returned to action to put a nail in the-relatively-close-to-LA Angels’ heart.  Though it wasn’t a save situation, so I don’t know why Nathan needed to pitch last night after sitting for six days.  Guess mine is not to reason why.

Luis Cruz – 4-for-9 in the doubleheader.  Now has a five-game hitting streak and is hitting .300 in 233 ABs (with nothing else notable).

Matt Kemp – 3-for-8, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 19th homer.  Or 19 more than Chris Brown.

Michael Morse – 3-for-8, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a homer as he returned to the lineup.  I’m guessing he got a cortisone shot.

Alfonso Soriano – 1-for-4 with his 30th homer.  This is his first 30-homer season since 2007 back when he was 46 years old.

Andrew Cashner – Shut down for the year with a recurrence of his lat problems.  Would’ve been nice if he mentioned that the lat was hurting him before I threw him into my lineup for his last abomination.  Too much to ask, apparently.

Marco Estrada – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks.  The Stream-o-Nator had him as 124 score, which comes after it took a couple of lumps the other day.  Stream-o-Nator, “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for most of the year!”

Norichika Aoki – 2-for-4 with his 9th homer.  Here’s a little insight into how I write these roundups.  I first write, “Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball,”  then I write, “Norichika Aoki -” and just assume he’s going to do something.

Andrew McCutchen – 2-for-4 with a slam (29) and legs (19).   The Dread Pirate’s kicking some booty!  I think that’s a pun.

Jordan Zimmermann – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  For a young pitcher, Zimmermann’s been remarkably consistent.  I’m gonna geek out for a second, because this got me all jazzed.  Going into yesterday’s game, Zimmermann’s K-rate was 6.98; in 2011 it was 6.92.  His walk rate was 1.88 and 1.73 the year before.  His xFIP was 3.74 and last year 3.78.  He threw a 93.9 MPH fastball 61.8% of the time and last year he threw a 93.4 MPH fastball 61.3% of the time.  He threw exactly a 84.6 MPH slider both this year and last and one year 24% of the time and one year 24.1% of the time.  There’s more similarities:  his changeup, curveball, BABIP, LOB%… It’s like there’s a glitch in the Matrix, whoa….  Throwing luck out the window, he is exactly what we’ve seen the last two years — a reliable number two fantasy starter.

Gorkys Hernandez – 1-for-4, 2 steals.  I was just saying that we might have to wait for Gorkys’ Revenge to see the speed, but this is Gorkys II:  The Next Day and guess what I’m peeping through the hole in the locker room?  SAGNOF!

Pablo Sandoval – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (9) and legs (1).  There was a special giveaway yesterday in AT&T Park, everyone over 300 pounds gets a 50 foot lead off of first.

Angel Pagan – 2-for-5, 2 runs and a steal.  He’s now hit in 9 of the past ten games with three steals in that time frame.  With 8 homers, 27 steals and a .291 average on the year, he’s quietly having a productive season.  Well, less quiet now.

Kris Medlen - 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Okay, live with me for a second.  Since I picked up Medlen, his stats on my team are:  7 wins, 0.60 ERA, 0.76 WHIP and 63 Ks in 60 1/3 IP.  Hello, gorgeous! What’s your name?  Kris?  That’s an androgynous name and I’m oddly turned on.  Do you want to watch me eat this corn on the cobb without using my hands?

  1. Hondo says:
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    Oh boy.Drop Sale and pull Pettite off my DL so I can unlock my daily roster to grab a bat by dropping Ev Cabrera or drop Pettite and pray that Sale gets another start or 2?

    Could drop CC too, he looks a little worn down.

    Also,any idea why the Dodgers used League last night instead of Kenley?

    I thought I got lucky when I heard he was supposed to be the man after the blood thinners were gone and I snagged him off the wire.

    Cut bait?It’s a 10×10 H2H league that counts holds even if he doesn’t close.

    • @Hondo, Kenley’s been out almost a month; Donnyboy wants to ease him back in to the closer role and avoid make-or-break-type situations right off. The “make” being playoffs, the “break” being the heart of Kenley Jansen…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Hondo, Kenley question answered above… I wouldn’t cut him… I’d cut Sale…

  2. Racehorse says:
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    Grey,

    Right now, who do you like more for 2013: Will Middlebrooks or Todd Frazier? … Matt Joyce or Travis Snider? … Josh Ruteledge or Chris Nelson?

    Thanks!

    Stay Thirsty my Friend

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Racehorse, Frazier… Joyce…. Rutledge… You too!

  3. BoneFace n Harmony says:
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    SON has Edgar Gonzalez at 114! Except it says he plays for SD when he actually plays for the lowly Altuvites…does this affect his score and/or still make him a good spot start to replace Cashner this week?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @BoneFace n Harmony, Yeah, it would change his score… And he’s not so good…

  4. Randy BoBandy says:
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    I have a conundrum for this afternoon. In my H2H match-up, my opponent is one of those guys with 2 SP’s and an endless amount of closers.

    I’ve had 3 solid starts this week and my ratios are looking good…do I bother starting Cueto @Cubs or Fiers @Pirates? If any, it’s going to be one and not the other. Cueto’s been crap his last 3 starts, I should tread with caution me-thinks!

    And why does Josh Willingham have 110 RBIs?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Randy BoBandy, I wouldn’t start them… Willingham’s bonkers…

  5. Jon says:
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    Nice write-up on J-Zimm. He’s one of the two SP I’m committed to in my keeper league (along with Bumgarner), so I’m especially interested – and yeah, he’s been a great #2 behind MadBum. Do you see him looking about the same next year or at some point does he take a step forward?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jon, Thanks! I see him being the same…

  6. Cole says:
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    I’m not surprised by Beltre’s intestinal issues with the way he’s been sh*ting on my opponents the last 4 weeks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Cole, Ha!

  7. the hungarian hippo says:
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    Thoughts on Carpenter for a spot start?

    I here he can build a mean set of shelves

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @the hungarian hippo, HA! I wouldn’t go near him…

    • Chillmodious says:
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      @the hungarian hippo, I think you have him confused with Tom Wilhelmsen or Casey Janssen.

  8. jackinthebox says:
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    So Colvin has started sucking…jump ship and go to the next hot schmomato?…if so, would you replace him with Alonso, McClouth, M. Saunders or Maxwell?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @jackinthebox, McLouth

    • Prezii says:
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      @jackinthebox, man, you held on to him for this long you might as well keep him for his weekend at coors.. coors and away games are like night and day for him.Cust Kayin…

  9. Chillmodious says:
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    Morning, Grey. First a lineup question, then a rotation question….

    Who sits today from this list (I’m leaning Coco because of his pink eye and day-to-day status, but he’s the king of the last minute lineup insertion that sees him go 1-for-3 with a run and a SB (which I need)):

    C – Wilin Rosario
    1B – Youkilis
    2B – Howie Kendrick
    3B – Moustakas
    SS – Jimmy Rollins
    MI – Kipnis
    CI – Rizzo
    OF – McCutchen
    OF – Bruuuuuce
    OF – Desmond Jennings
    OF – Carlos Gomez
    OF – Dewayne Wise
    Util – Espinosa
    Util – Mike Napoli

    Bench – Coco Crisp

    ———————————

    Thanks, dude. Rotation question in next comment…

    • Chillmodious says:
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      @Chillmodious, NEVERMIND. Coco ruled out today. Please skip to next comment. Thanks.

  10. Chillmodious says:
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    …That rotation question:

    I have the following Probable Pitchers on my roster and plan to throw them all today:

    Greinke vs. Texas (SON 121)
    Detwiler vs. Dodgers (SON 108)
    Anibal vs. Oakland (SON 111)
    Jaime Garcia vs. Houston (SON 117)

    1. Would you hold anyone back or start ‘em all?

    2. I can easily grab Mike Fiers (@ Pittsburgh, SON 113) and start him today in addition to the above. My ratios are sparkling, I’m up by 1 in Wins, and I’m up by a couple of Ks…but my opponent has 8 more pitchers scheduled to throw this week (Cliff Lee and YoGa being two of them) compared to my 5. I worry that I’ll be chasing a win and a few Ks on Sunday with only the Samuel Dedunos of the world to pick from. Should I go all in and grab/start Fiers?

    3.

    4. Lastly, League got the save last night and Kenley saw no action. If I find myself desperate for a save over the next few days, who do I go for? (I worry that League is looking like the guy, but Kenley will get the next save opp and screw everyone who went with the obvious)

    ——————-

    Thanks again, Grey.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Chillmodious, 1. Start them 2. Grab Fiers 4. League

  11. Jon says:
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    SON doesn’t like Capuano today (92) @ WAS. Are you starting him?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jon, I wouldn’t…

  12. BoneFace n Harmony says:
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    Ryan Howard was just dropped- I know he sucks right now, but is it worth dropping Reynolds for him and hoping he gets hot in the H2H playoffs? I mean he did hit a dong last night….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @BoneFace n Harmony, I’d take him over Reynolds…

  13. Chillmodious says:
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    Dah! Just saw that rosters lock in like 20 minutes. FYI for anyone unaware.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Chillmodious, Thanks for the heads up!

  14. Harley says:
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    @Grey: H2H semi-finals, 32 inning minimum, I’m at 18 innings already he’s at 16 innings. Pitching categories are very close, we both have 2 wins and 0 losses. I have a 1 era, he has 0 era. I have 1.06 whip, he has .8 whip. I have 9 k/9, he has 7 k/9.

    Do I use Greinke tonight home vs LAA? Part of me is scared by Texas, but its not in Texas, Greinke has always been good at home and if I’m going to go down I feel like it should be with who I think is one of the best SPs in the game.

    I also have:
    Niese vs Mia Friday
    Lester vs Balt Friday
    Bum vs SD Saturday
    Latos vs LAD Saturday
    Scherzer vs Min Sunday (questionable to start)

    I need to throw 2-3 to safely hit the innings minimum and I don’t trust Scherzer to start on Sunday.

    Thoughts?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Harley, I’d start Greinke…

  15. tyler says:
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    keepers for next year
    2 maybe 3 spots can u put these guys in order
    (20 team 20 keepers per 5×5 weekly h2h)
    d brown
    ruggiano
    cicaro
    trayvon robinson
    ruf
    chris johnson
    d wise

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @tyler, Brown, Johnson

  16. Chillmodious says:
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    Ahhhh, Grey, you missed me! Please see Comment #10 above. I’m really scrambling and lineups lock in a couple minutes. Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Chillmodious, Ok

      • Chillmodious says:
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        @Grey, Thank you so very much. I just couldn’t make the call on Fiers myself. I wasn’t going to chance it, but it’s big boy time and here’s hoping fortune favors the bold (or so the cliche goes). I have one move left this week (my opponent only has 2 so no big deal) and being that I’m starting Detwiler today I figured why hedge on playing League–I’m all in on the Nats today even though the Doyers kinda broke out last night. I’m planning to see how the next 2 days shake out and then maybe go after League if I’m tied or close in saves.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Cool, no problem…

  17. Long Bawls says:
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    Ya think Uggla can steal 29 more bases in 13 games? Honestly, I didn’t see yesterday’s game but I assume he just megaflexed his biceps and they got so pumped they grazed second.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Long Bawls, Huh?

      • Long Bawls says:
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        @Grey, You make a good point. Uggla stole a base yesterday, and I was just trying to imagine a scenario where that could happen. But, as my grandfather told me, “If you have to explain that your joke involves Uggla’s upper body being so hypertrophied that his biceps can stretch from first to second base, your joke ain’t working.” At least I think that’s what he was saying; gramps was kinda hard to understand with that accent.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha! Gotcha… Are his arms that long? Uggla not your grandfather…

  18. Melvin Emanuel says:
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    @Grey

    Which one hitter gets to sit on the bench today…

    1) Sandoval v. DLR (4-20, 3 xbh, 4 K)
    2) Cargo @ Zito (8-26, 2 xbh, 4 K)
    3) Granderson v. Laffey (2-8, 0 xbh, 0 K)
    4) Jennings v. Buchholz (1-4, 0 xbh, 0 K)

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Jennings unless CarGo isn’t playing…

  19. JB says:
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    Grey – Please rank these 3 for a keeper league with no limits on the years they can be kept:

    Bumgarner
    Bundy
    Medlen

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      You ranked them…

    • Chillmodious says:
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      @JB, Based on what he’s done for me these last 4 weeks, Medlen should be #1, 2, 3, and 4 on that list. He and Jimmy Rollins (bless his little heart) have single-handedly kept me in the running. You want to know how much I lurve Medlen?:

      Medlen > Gangnam Style

      I also have to send Desmond Jennings an apology note for covering up all his squiggly hearts, glitter, and photos on my trapper keeper with tributes to Kris Medlen. He’s so dreamy.

      [I wrote the above while parked next to Amanda Bynes and wearing nothing but a flat-billed hat]

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        HA!

      • JB says:
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        @Chillmodious, That’s why I keep asking the question. My brain tells me Bumgarner, but my heart tells me Medlen. Medlen, Swiggy and the Dread Pirate are carrying me to titles in both of my money leagues – makes me want to join the Excalibur’s Tournament of Kings tumbling team. Er, oops?

  20. Carnac says:
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    Dusty Baker has been diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat, spent last night at the hospital, and is still away from the team.

    In related news, Frazier is in today’s starting lineup.

    • Chillmodious says:
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      @Carnac, Also, Drew Stubbs had his first productive game in forever last night, hitting 2nd in the order. Mo Dusty, Mo Problems.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha… Mark Prior sends his regards…

  21. Big Nate says:
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    I need to replace Kaiser Scherzer with a sneaky deep league starter that’s going to get me 2 QS’s in his last two starts to secure the league championship. On waivers, I’m left with these schmohawks:

    Correia
    Floyd
    Liriano
    Tillman
    Huff
    Zito
    Perez
    Doubront

    Help!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I don’t know their matchups… Tillman…

  22. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    I have Medlen envy and i just can’t help it, I do not I own him and it pains me because i went out drinking got home and he was gone, i was at least hoping for a Dear John letter, but instead I just got empty cupboard.

    speaking of Medlen,I had the roasted corn at the fair twice yesterday with all the fixins. I passed on the deep fried Twinkie, I love Chocodiles and hate twinkies, go figure. But i did have the deep fried snickers….mmmmmh that hit the spot. I was tempted by the bacon maple donut at the Texas Donut spot, but knew it would not be as good as the one’s at the nickle diner and I’m holding out for those.

    I didn’t see any guys with amazing stauches with a stauche entourage, so i figured you didn’t go yesterday, but the boobies were out and the were NICE! I seriously think it was stripper mom take your kid to the fair day.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      The Nickel Diner donuts are ridiculous…. Stripper Mom Take Your Kid To The Fair Day is every day… I never knew some of those things would work so well on corn, but they do… Lime, cheese and hot sauce? Yes, please!

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey, I’ve had the tapatio many times in the past on street corners, but never Louisianna style, which is now my new fav way to go, I was a little sad they had no queso fresco, but it was really good, and the girl at the spot was flirting it up with me…extra spicy!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          The white boys have definitely gentrified the corn on the cob, but it tastes good no matter what you put on it… How knew corn was such a conducive palette?

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Grey, I went full Mexican with the Mayonaise the garlic salt, the lemon pepper, some lemon juice and cayan all topped with the louisiana hot sauce. Outside of the hot sauce that was very Mexican.

            Damn, now I’m hungry for roasted corn.

            Also, they are having an Octoberfest at the fairgrounds this year. Time for some schnitzel, brats and beer.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Damn, I might just go the last weekend and stay there for a few weeks… Lemon Pepper is the bomb… I want one of those industrial-sized containers for everything I eat…

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Grey, I want to bring my kids wagon to trolly the food around. I had some Elvis popcorn that was peanut Butter, Bannana and Bacon flavored. It was damn good and the girl was hot!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  I always enjoy how there’s one booth selling fruit… Just fruit… I always go up to them and ask if they can fry it for me…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey, my buddy told me about deep fried watermelon, i couldn’t find it, but I hear it exists.

                    do they ever answer or just stare at your stauche in awe the whole time

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      They just stare in awe of the stache and disgust at my request… Deep fried watermelon — ha… I love when they take something that has no business being fried… It’s like “Ooh, avocado is healthy… Let’s fry it!”

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                      @Grey, Isn’t that what tempura is for?

                      Ive seen that stand, and if you asked for a deep fried lime/lemon wedge covered in chile, the powdered kind, then they would probably hug you for your inovation

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ha! Yeah, can I get two 500 MG multi-vitamins, deep fried?

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                      @Grey, i wonder if they will deep fry something that is still living?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Of course! It’s called “fair sushi.”

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, they just have a mystery aquarium that they net a fish out of and then send it right into the batter and then in the oil. Damn that sounds like a great idea for a restaurant, the peta people might be pissed, but it will be a hit in the asian communities.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Oddly enough, I think it probably already exists at low end sushi places and very high end sushi places…

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, I know I’ve had it with the sweet shrimp when they bring the head out with the sushi and the head is still moving then they take it back and deep fry and it taste like a very delicate pork rind.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Yeah, totally… On a different but similar note, have you ever been to Typhoon in the Santa Monica Airport? They serve fried crickets and earth worms…

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, There’s a Santa Monica Airport?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Ha…Yeah, small airport for private planes that has a restaurant…

    • Prezii says:
      (link)

      @Jack Full of Hate, he didnt even leave you a John Deere letter? What a girly bastard!

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
        (link)

        @Prezii, hey there buddy, ready for our matchup this week?

        • Prezii says:
          (link)

          @Jack Full of Hate, yes sir! My line up is set and ready.. perpare for yoy to know youe fate by tonight. ;) cruzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
            (link)

            @Prezii, cruz schmooz. one catch for 6 yards and leaves in the first quarter with a knee injury.

            • Prezii says:
              (link)

              @Jack Full of Hate, haha no nicks so cruz is goin off!

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
                (link)

                @Prezii, even worse, they will double team him all night, whoever is filling in at WR2 should have the big game

  23. Jack Full of Hate says:
    (link)

    Gangnam style is out of control, been reading the local rag and twice its made front page about the lifguards that got fired over making a spoof video on city property and they had a open meeting at city hall yesterday overflowing with people in support, hitting national status now and Psy even throwing in his two cents…Gangnam Style.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Where is this that lifeguards got fired for Gangnam’ing?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          El Monte should be embarrassed of themselves… There should be a town ordinance that everyone on the street between the hours of noon and 6 has to Gangnam Style

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
            (link)

            @Grey, it would have to be done in at least three different languages, but it might work…Gangnam Style.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              El Monte should lose taxpayer’s money for disallowing Gangnam Style…

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
                (link)

                @Grey, If you have ever been it seems like they never had taxpayer money over there. The only thing in El Monte is the biggest toyota dealership in the world and gangs.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Not even sure where it is… Is it by Cerritos?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey, where the 10 meets the 605. near Baldwin park, Rosemead and Irwindale….its deep in SGV

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Oh, wow, never would’ve guessed that… Don’t know that area that well (obviously)…

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, Its where us simple folk live

    • Prezii says:
      (link)

      @Jack Full of Hate, wow, i can see if they were doin this on the job.. but just sayin they used “private resources” is basically sayin “hey were old tarts and were jealous you kids have fun dancing and we cant!”… People dont like fun now a days..

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
        (link)

        @Prezii, they don’t like fun gangnam style, I’m going to imaginary horse stampede your team this weekend Gangnam Style.

        • Prezii says:
          (link)

          @Jack Full of Hate, “imaginary”, being the key word in that sentence! Haha ;)

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
            (link)

            @Prezii, well it is “fantasy” which is imaginary football, so then yes “imaginary” is the key word. You need one hell of an “imagination” to put these fake teams together.

  24. Hi Grey — How’d you rank McLouth, Jon Jay, de Aza, Aoki, and Murphy over the rest of the season?

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Aoki, McLouth, De Aza

      • @Grey, I was afraid you might list De Aza among them. He’s the one guy I don’t have. Should I drop Jay or Murphy for him? Or is it a tossup?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Pretty much a toss up, but I’d lose Murphy for him if you need runs and steals…

  25. joe from pt pleasant says:
    (link)

    Martin Perez @ Seattle tomorrow?

    You think hes worth giving a shot?

    • joe from pt pleasant says:
      (link)

      @joe from pt pleasant,
      or do you think odorizzi is a better shot vs cleveland?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d go with Perez…

  26. MattW says:
    (link)

    Grey,

    Kendrick vs. PHI
    or
    Arroyo vs. LAD

    Who is the better streaming choice – SON has them on top of one another

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Kendrick vs. PHI?

      • MattW says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        Ha, Kendrick vs. ATL

        Which one?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Kendrick

  27. Tommy the Green Ranger says:
    (link)

    I’ve got both Yu and Greinke facing off today with only 5 starts left in my 180 start limit league. It’s hard, but I’m thinking about benching both.

    The way I see it I’ll pitch Wainwright vs. Cubs, Greinke vs. Seattle twice, on the 26th and hopefully Oct 1, and Yu vs. Oakland. That’s 4.

    That leaves me with Wain vs. Washington and Cincinnati and Yu vs. the Angels again.

    I’m nervous pitching Halladay against Atlanta, Marlins, or the Nationals the way he’s been going.

    So I can spot start the fifth or go with one of my aces vs. tough matchups. Sorry for the loaded question, but what would you do?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Makes sense to bench both today… And go with Wainwright…

      • Tommy the Green Ranger says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Thanks, dude. This is the first year I’ve come to your site and the first time I’ve done an RCL and it’s been great. I’ll be donating to your daiquiri fund for all you help.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem… Thanks!

  28. #1contenda says:
    (link)

    yo greyman,

    SON showing mad love to floyd. he bad against LAA tho
    what u think

    respeckt.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I don’t like Floyd, but in SON we trust… I wouldn’t start him though… Respeckt.

  29. BoneFace n Harmony says:
    (link)

    Best bench OF for the weekend (Beltran popping in and out of the lineup is KILLING me):

    Maxwell
    Gose
    Ruggiano
    Alonso
    De Aza

    Thank you as always Grey! Appreciate the crunch time help in a big way

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ruggiano… No problem…

  30. Hank says:
    (link)

    Worth picking up any of the following to replace Cabrera at SS, or will he be back shortly? Hardy, E. Cabrera, Ciriaco, Plouffe. Thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      EverCab

  31. Lines says:
    (link)

    Nice round-up, Cowpoke. And unlike Monsanto’s, your round-ups don’t cause birth defects… do they?

    Let’s say, hypothetically, that I have Chris Carpenter coming off the DL tomorrow for a juicy start against the Cubs. Would I, hypothetically, want to drop Maholm or Beckett to make room?

    Annnd who would you keep for next year (in a 12-team H2H league that counts QS instead of Wins): Jordan Zimmermann or Brandon Morrow? I like JZ’s consistency and reasonable ratios, but lord awmighty, do I love Morrow’s K-rate.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not that I know of? But I’m not making any promises… Beckett… Zimmermann…

      • Lines says:
        (link)

        @Grey, thanks! I kinda knew you’d pick those two, but I had to ask.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Oh, no, I’ve become predictable…

          • Lines says:
            (link)

            @Grey, not really. I’m just aware of your hate-on for Beckett (and being a Sox fan, I respect it), and JZ’s got better ratios and less inclination to miss time with injuries. So basically I just assumed you’d make the more sensible picks. #asskissing

            That said, Beckett’s next start is against the Padres in the Whale’s Vagina… and I have to say that’s pretty tempting. Maholm’s remaining starts are both juicy, as well. Miami and Pittsburgh both, well, suck. So it seems like a bit of a schmotato/schmotahto decision.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yeah, they really are a toss up, Maholm hasn’t been great of late and Beckett hasn’t been great all year… Beckett in Petco is pretty tasty, but I’d still go with Maholm…

  32. Drexel Hill Dragons says:
    (link)

    Looking to stream 2 starters tomorrow – who do you like from these (where K’s/ERA & Whip are more important than wins):

    Villanueva @TB
    Arroyo vs. LAD
    Parker @NYY
    Martin Perez @SEA

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      None? Perez, Villanueva…

  33. the grate one says:
    (link)

    hey grey,
    just wondering…how would you rank span, revere, murphy, carlos gomez, yonder for the next week.

    thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      CarGo, Span, Yonder

  34. Jon says:
    (link)

    Can you rank these keepers for me?

    Capuano, Minor, Medlen, Lester, Anibal, Anderson

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Tough calls… Lester, Medlen, Minor, Anderson…

      • Jon says:
        (link)

        @Grey, yeah there’s obviously a lot of unknowns in that group. Will Medlen have a rotation spot? Can Anderson stay healthy? Can Lester bounce back? etc.

        Earlier I’m pretty sure you said you’d keep Anderson before Medlen – have they switched?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, but a lot has to do with Anderson’s health and Medlen’s rotation spot…

          • Jon says:
            (link)

            @Grey, yup, makes sense.

  35. B.o.B says:
    (link)

    Trust Guthrie at all tonight vs. CWS? In 3 starts against them this season, he’s 1-0, 2 R, 0 ER, 13 hits, 1 BB, 15 K and a .163 BAA in 23.2 innings. SoN has it at a 102

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I wouldn’t trust him…

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Cmon, I think you have trust issues. I dropped Hughes against the Jays for Guthrie. He wouldn’t let me down after that.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          For your sake, I hope you’re right…

          • VinWins

            VinWins says:
            (link)

            @Grey, Thanks. I know Hughes will shut down the Jays, now. At least I’ll be watching football.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Football? What’s that?

              • VinWins

                VinWins says:
                (link)

                @Grey, Hockey on grass.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Still not ringing a bell…

                  • VinWins

                    VinWins says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey, I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Ha! Probably…

                    • VinWins

                      VinWins says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, Didn’t turn out too bad. Missed the win for Hughes, but Guthrie only gave up 1 ER to help me gain a point in ERA.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Yeah, not too shabby…

  36. Chillmodious says:
    (link)

    Wow, Jaime/Fiers/Anibal. Thanks for the Ks guys, but could you have at least bought me a meal and paid for the cab?

    The funny part? My ERA was so microscopic (0.580 as of this morning) because of Medlen/Estrada/Harvey/Tillman, that today’s shizz show only pushed it up to 2.356 (and probably climbing). The not so funny part? My opponent has a 2.118 ERA and still has Gio/Cliff Lee/Yoga/Morrow to throw. FMFBBL.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah…Ouch… Hopefully his starts don’t end up as pretty as they look….

      • Chillmodious says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Let’s keep hope alive!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          You gotta, man… You gotta…

  37. nick m. says:
    (link)

    I’ve got one move left for the week to pick up a spot start in a 12-team H2H points league (-1 pt per earned run/hit, 1 point per out). Who is my best option?
    Turner @ Mets
    Hanson @ Philly
    Peralta @ Wash
    Ubaldo @ KC
    Floyd @ LAA
    Werner @ SF
    Chacin vs. ARI

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Wily

  38. Melvin Emanuel says:
    (link)

    @Grey

    Any of these pitchers jump out as a “must stream” for tomorrow in a 10 team league? All categories are close right now…

    Vogelsong v. SD
    Perez @ SEA
    Arroyo v. LAD
    Villanueva @ TB
    Gonzalez @ BOS
    Mendoza v. CLE
    Iwakuma v. TEX

    Also…I read above, you like Petalta @ WAS. Good for a stream as well?

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Re: Wily, Not with your options… None are a must stream either… Perez and Willanueva would be at the top of my list, if I had to…

      • Melvin Emanuel says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        So was that a yay or nay for streaming Wily? Sorry I’m dyslexic (not really)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Nay…

          • Melvin Emanuel says:
            (link)

            @Grey,

            Nay is for horses..I mean, what? Thanks

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ha… No problem… It’s not a terrible start, but in a ten team league it feels like it’s stretching a little bit…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Oh, man, I wish I didn’t see that… Yikes…

      • Prezii says:
        (link)

        @Grey, terrible right?? What the hell are they doing out there…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I don’t know, but I know whenever I start watching something that I know I don’t want to see I can never stop watching it until it’s too late…

          • Prezii says:
            (link)

            @Grey, sorry man i had to!! I did the same thing.. like a trainwreck! I dont know how i got there, it started with a video of a nasty ass LS1 camaro.. and 15 videos later my jaw is at the floor.. so i took razzball nation down with me..

            That makes me respect america a hell of a lot more though. Crazy bastards…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I have to Gangnam Style to get that video out of my head…

              • Prezii says:
                (link)

                @Grey, agreed! Im gonna go watch it over and over! Gangnam style that is….

                • Prezii says:
                  (link)

                  Much better.. PSY fixes everything.

  39. Steve says:
    (link)

    Word to the wise. Not sure getting acupuncture with a hangover is an especially good idea.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      You were out carousing last night huh?

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @Grey, More just sitting around drinking, but I guess that counts as carousing for an old geezer like me.

        Just tucking into a coffee and a samosa now.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Drinking brown liquor? Why do you say no acupuncture when hungover?

          • Steve says:
            (link)

            @Grey, Think it’s because you’re a bit more sensitive to any discomfort. Not that I’ve ever found it painful, by any means, but it felt like every needle hit every spot today!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Do you get it a lot? I went for a few months once, didn’t really work for me… Or at least I don’t think it did…

              • Steve says:
                (link)

                @Grey, I’ve had it a bit lately. Had some treatments that worked quite well, but the last couple don’t seem to have helped much.

                I want it to work, it’s not like I don’t believe in it or anything.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  For your back?

                  • Steve says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey, Shoulder. Been bugging me for almost 4 years. Had a cortisone shot a couple of months back, which has worked for me in the past, but this time not so much.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Could you hit homers afterwards? I dated this girl once whose father did acupuncture (they were Asian) and whenever we went to this one restaurant everything was on the house because the owner/chef said that the acupuncture had saved his life…

                    • Steve says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, Hah – not quite. Not quite the build for that.

                      Free food? Wow. Something must have been really wrong for you to break that one off.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Yeah, she was totally psycho…. It was sushi too…

    • royce! says:
      (link)

      @Steve, I have a friend who found that the opposite was true, in a way – he said that when he went in after a few days of clean living, his acupuncturist told him about how bad his chi or whatever was, but when he went in with a hangover (and it took a lot to give this guy a hangover), she would remark on how good he looked. Dissuaded me from pursuing it, because I don’t need any more excuses to drink.

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @royce!, It could just be that I’m a big baby when I have a hangover.

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @royce!, Thinking very seriously about a brown Brown t-shirt BTW.

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @royce!, The only thing that puts me off slightly is that Joe Paterno and Chris Berman went there.

        • royce! says:
          (link)

          @Steve, Yeah, but so did Ira Glass…and Chubb Rock!

  40. Steve says:
    (link)

    Holy Hefner.

    Go and stand in the corner, SON.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      SON hangs its head…

  41. Steve says:
    (link)

    Our music content partner has just sent me some links to feature on the mobile site that I look after.

    There’s one called ‘Gangnam Style’. Anyone head of it?

    :-)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nope, what’s it about?

  42. letsgobravos says:
    (link)

    David Price cruises through 5 and now he’s in all sorts of shit in the 6th. 2 runs in and the bases are juiced. Fuck. Have Buchholz going on my other team, but I really need at least a QS out of Price.

    • letsgobravos says:
      (link)

      @letsgobravos, Whew…got out of it without anymore damage.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, saw that… Still could probably get another inning out of him… But he’s got the QS now…

      • letsgobravos says:
        (link)

        @Grey, WTF?…Maddon sends Price back out for the 8th trailing 2-0 with 111 pitches.

        • letsgobravos says:
          (link)

          @letsgobravos, …and of course he gets stuck with another ER. Got another K out of it, but still a dumb move to send him back out when he’s been struggling and he’s over 110 pitches.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, that made no sense… Can’t even figure out a way to justify it…

  43. royce! says:
    (link)

    I learned today that Bruce Bochy’s hat size is 8 and 1/8. Yet somehow Fathead doesn’t make any Bochy themed items.

  44. royce! says:
    (link)

    Like how has Fathead not realized the marketing potential of a Bochy partnership?

    In other marketing news, I’m thinking about starting a smoked and cured meats venture…GangHam Style!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      If you need an investor, I’m in for GangHam Style Meat Products. Could tie it in to Fathead and make a Fathead ballcap made of capicola…

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Consider yourself part of the gang!

        And yum…the salt from my sweaty head would keep it cured, too. (Oh, and also, yuck.)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yuck and delicious are the first things I want to come to mind when people think of GangHam Meats. Maybe I won’t be in charge of marketing…

          • royce! says:
            (link)

            @Grey, We’re talking about mold-enhanced meat, which is pretty much the pinnacle of yuck and delicious, so perhaps your marketing scheme would work…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I just want meat flaps…

              • Steve says:
                (link)

                @Grey, I knew this would end up here eventually.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Of course it did!

              • royce! says:
                (link)

                @Grey, Well, I suppose we could get Janice Dickinson as a celebrity spokesperson…

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Perfect!

                  • royce! says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey, Great! Janice Dickinson’s Meat Flaps, by GangHam Style Meats.

                    Well, I feel like we got a lot of good work done here today, now we just wait for the money to start flooding in! Tomorrow we can start designing our corporate campus.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I want meat elevators, I don’t know how we get them done, but there’s not my concern. Just that we have them.

  45. Steve says:
    (link)

    Stellar effort from Bailey there.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha… Yup…

  46. letsgobravos says:
    (link)

    There goes Buchholz’ win. FUCK. Second night in a row I’ve lost a W in the 9th inning. Fucking bull shit. My opponent in the other league had Upton who got the 3 run walk off jack. Double FUCK.

    In closing, Fuck you BoSox.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, that was an epic collapse… A fitting cherry to the Red Sox season…

  47. ferris says:
    (link)

    you hate carpenter tomorrow? why?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I don’t like him coming back after all his injuries unless it’s an NL-Only league, sorry…

  48. Steve says:
    (link)

    There’s not a Hosmer owner anywhere who would disagree with what the White Sox just did.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Amen

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @Grey, But Hosmer and Holland owners are glad they did!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yup

  49. later tater says:
    (link)

    hi grey
    hope your still reading these

    need replacement for hamilton

    need runs plus 1 of these sb/hr/rbi

    waiver wire has these left:
    ichiro, c gomez, reddick, lawrie, morneau, mayberry, dav murphy, frazier, wewayne, viciedo

    who to get?

    leaning toward gomez based on your prior suggestions, but ichiro seems to be getting hot and is facing minn this weekend

    thnaks for the help
    have a good night, gangam style

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Carlos Gomez… You too man!

  50. letsgobravos says:
    (link)

    FUCK! My streamer Edgar Gonzalez left the game after 1.2 pitched because he couldn’t breathe. Freaking 3-0 lead down the drain. Son of a bitch.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Damn, SON couldn’t even have predicted that…Or could it? No, probably not…

  51. letsgobravos says:
    (link)

    Damnit…Soriano with a blown save. I knew I should have sat all my relievers. League counts both saves and BS. I have a 3-0 lead on saves and my opponent only has frieri. Meant to pull all my relievers, but forgot to do it before the yankees game locked. Just gifted my opponent a cat.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Damn, that sucks…

      • letsgobravos says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Tell me about it. Went into today leading 9-0 in that league…now 6-5 after Peavy crapped all over my ERA and WHIP.

  52. letsgobravos says:
    (link)

    Peavy’s shitting the bed and of course my opponent in my other league has Santana who’s racking up Ks like he’s pitching against a middle school team. FMFBL.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hey, go to the newest post so I don’t have to go searching for your comments in back posts…

Comments are closed.