If Chris Archer was aiming to win last night he was right on target, pitching seven innings against the fearsome Orioles lineup, allowing just 2 hits, 1 ER, 2 BB and striking out two to grab his first win of the year. Bulls-eye! Archer even retired 13 of the last 14 batters he faced. Let’s just say opposing hitters could hear Kenny Loggins’ music playing with Archer on the hill because they were riding into the DANGER ZONE, LANA! Relax those monster hands, you don’t have to be Krieger to know Archer misfired in his season debut, surrendering five runs to the Indians and lasting just four innings. But he looked Sterling last night. Chris threw just 84 pitches in the outing, hurling his 95-mph fastball with ease and locating the pitch with perfection. Even Burt Reynolds was impressed. Pitching coach Jim Hickey told Archer he needed to see more of that change up, and both the change up and the slider were on full display last night. He was able to throw both pitches on any count with excellent confidence and control and kept the O’s hitter off balance all game. Although, his next start at Fenway this week is not ideal, he should be streamer-worthy going forward given the right match ups. Until David Price returns from his triceps injury, Chris Archer looks to see a few more starts and is worth a flier in AL-Only and deeper mixed leagues. Also, danger zone!
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:
Melky Cabrera 3-for-4 with his 3rd HR and 2 RBI. Do not worry owners, the Melkman’s webmaster is hard at work on a new webpage to get Cabrera out of this Biogenesis scandal. The site’s already got a page view counter and everything. Although the fact that he’s using geocities is a bit concerning.
Francisco Liriano 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 5 BB, 8 K and his 4th win. Francisco struck out seven batters in the first three innings, which was some kind of Pirates record. Pretty impressive. But less impressive when you consider the player whose record he beat did it with an peg leg and eye patch.
Jason Grilli 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 3 K and his 23rd save. Those are Jordan numbers, ya’ll! Sorry, correction, I meant to write that’s Jordan’s number, ya’ll.
Desmond Jennings 1-for-3 and his 6th HR. He’s batting .302 with a HR, SB and 7 RBI over the past two weeks. Not exactly what you expected when you drafted him so high, but you’ll take it. You sort of have to.
Adam Wainwright 7.0 IP, 2 ER, 7 K and his 9th win. Don’t get me wrong. I love me some Matt Harvey. I absolutely adoooore Matt Harvey, but if Waino isn’t starting the All Star game for the National League I am just going to snap.
David Freese 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBI. The Cardinals had 16 hits, and Freese extended his hitting streak to 14 games. This must have been what everyone was yapping about when they said to draft him. Now let’s see some power!
Justin Verlander 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, 6 K, 8th win. JV tried to stay in the game by comically attempting to avoid Manager Jim Leyland, walking around him to the end of the dugout while Leyland held his hand out. A hilarious prank! Verlander with the sick dodge! Naturally, Leyland was not amused. “He might think that was comical but I don’t think that was comical at all.” An actual Leyland quote, folks. These jokes write themselves!
Jose Valverde 1.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER. Came into the game in a non-save situation and allowed solo homers to Drew Stubbs and Jason Giambi and almost blew his four run lead. Because [expletive deleted] your fantasy team.
Andy Dirks 2-for-5, run, RBI. Dirks’ owners, I’m going to find out where you’re hiding your Austin Jackson voodoo doll, I’m onto you! Needles in the crotch? That’s just uncool. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.
Victor Martinez 3-for-4 with his 5th HR and 3 runs. Has now hit homers in back-to-back games and three in the past week. This is exactly what the Tigers GM was looking forward to when he signed V-Mart two years ago. Great things come to those who wait.
Jim Henderson Jimbo had his first rehab appearance last night and pitched a scoreless ninth inning, giving up a hit and striking out three. Should return to the closer role when eligible; if he’s out there on your waiver wire go grab him.
Josh Donaldson 1-for-4 with the grand salami! His 9th homer. My “friend” (and I put friend in quotes because our friendship relies on how good my fantasy advice is) is upset that despite JD being the second-rated third baseman on the player rater he can’t get anything for him in a trade. Donaldson’s actual value is a lot higher than his perceived value, his value on your team will probably be higher than anything you’re getting for him in trade. So hang on for the ride.
Jarrod Parker 7.0 IP, 7 base runners, 2 ER, 4 K. Not what you hope for against the White Sox but not bad either, and I know owners were holding their breath as Parker headed back out on the road again, Willie Nelson. Six straight quality starts, it appears Parker’s horrible April is behind him. The rain just really bums him out, man.
Josh Reddick 2-for-4. Grey told you to BUY him. He’s hit safely in 6-of-7 games since returning from the DL, and has a homer and 3 RBI in that span. In the preseason I said I thought Jed Lowrie would be this year’s Josh Reddick, well, you know who’d make an even better Josh Reddick this year? THE Real Josh Reddick! Make it happen, JR.
Salvador Perez 1-for-3 with a 2-run HR, his second of the year. Sally hit 3rd in the line up and responded big with the jack off Jordan Lyles. Eric Hosmer went 2-for-4 hitting second as the Royals might have figured out a batting order that could work for them. It probably had nothing to do with the fact that they played the Astros. Oh please, let it be true. I’ve stuck with Perez through the grieving process, don’t let my fantasy team die on me either, Sal!
Cliff Lee 7.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, 9 K. When they ask, who would want to take on the Adverb’s insane back-loaded contract for a guy his age, I say, “I would. I would pay $20+ million a year for this guy.” He’s that good.
Jean Segura 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 16th SB. Jean hit the game-tying triple in the 7th inning, then scored the game-winning run in the ninth. Brewers fans? How much do you love this guy? I bet it’s a lot, on account of, it should be.
Jedd Gyorko 4-for-5, 8th HR. The Gyorko store called! This week only, buy three hits, get a home run for free!
Carlos Quentin 3-for-5, 7th HR, 3 RBI. Grrrrrr.
Cameron Maybin 2-for-5, run, RBI and stole his 3rd base in just two games. Grey told you to BUY. He’s currently under 10% owned in RCL leagues. Yes you should pick him up. Go grab him. Quickly, before Cameron beats you too it. That dude is fast, man!
Kyle Blanks 3-for-5, 2-run HR (5th), 3 RBI. Man, those San Diego Petco-ers must be loving life in their visits to Coors Field. The Pads scored 9 runs on a whopping 17 hits, including 2 from Yasmani Grandal and 3 from Everth Cabrera. There’s no place like home, unless you play for San Diego, then there’s no place like Coors.
Nolan Arenado 2-for-5 with his 5th HR and 2 RBI. A-Ha! I knew there was a reason I hadn’t dropped him yet. This doode hits walk off home runs! All day, son!
Todd Helton 3-for-5, 3 RBI. 2001 called…ah, you know where I’m going with that. The Rockies weren’t about to get outscored by the P-Drays on their own turf. They scored 10 runs on 17 hits with Dexter Fowler and Troy Tulowitzki chipping in 3 hits apiece.
Carlos Gonzalez 2-for-3 with 3 RBI. Was his usual slice of awesome pie as the Rox took out the Padres in a slugfest at Coors, but CarGo had to leave this one in the 6th with a knee injury and was seen limping badly. Uh-oh. It’s the same injury he had in spring training so there’s cause for concern, but hopefully CarGo is able to play through it. If he were to hit the DL, Jonathan Herrera would likely see time in center field. Say it ain’t so, CarGo!
Yasiel Puig 1-for-3, 4th HR. He even got intentionally walked in this one! He’s a monster! Terrorizing opposing pitchers! ManBearPuig. Half man. Half bear. Half Puig. 100% pure molly whopping home run power! This is serial, you guys. Al Gore warned us he was coming but he picked him up anyway, and that guy won a Nobel Prize, yo! Excelsior!
Hyun-Jin Ryu 7.2 IP, 6 hits, 1 ER, 6 K. If I make Gangnam Style joke here is that racist or just stupid? I think it just makes me super lame because that song’s like a year old. Lame I can handle. Regardless, Ryu’s been fantastic and now has five straight starts where he’s allowed 2 ER or fewer. He’s lowered his ERA to 2.72 and has gone over 7.0 IP in his past three starts. Sounds like gangnam style to me.
Jeremy Bonderman 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 1 ER, 2 K versus the New York Yankees. Hey you guys, you ‘member Jeremy Bonderman? Me neither. Still, this start was much better than his last and he gets the Astros at SafeCo next week, that is not a terrible streamer option. This is the only time I will ever recommend Jeremy Bonderman, and I’m not even sure I did. Oh, I regret it already.
Nick Franklin 2-for-3, run. Grey told you to BUY him for his 20-20 potential and Nick reached base three times last night. Y U no lead off? Fun fact: Nick is the great-great-great grandson of Benjamin, who invented the American turkey. Or something like that.
Patrick Corbin 7.1 IP, 7 hits, 1 ER, 4 K. Arizona’s favorite lefty was on point once again, but the Snakes couldn’t slither up any offense soon enough to get him his 10th win. Ssssssssorry, PatCo! The D-Backs remain undefeated (12-for-12) with Corbin on the hill, which begs the question, why not start him every game?
Paul Goldschmidt 1-for-4 with a 3-run HR. I looove…Goooold-schmidt. As you all know, Grey takes the weekends off to catch up on drinking all those daiquiris you’ve been buying him, but he wanted me to pass along this important message (he wrote it while braiding Rudy’s afro into cornrows): “Au shizz!” And that’s me quoting Grey!
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!