George Sherrill gave you a whole lot more than you should’ve expected. In fact, he gave you more than you should’ve expected by May. The rest? Icing. But that kind of rational and perspective-laden thinking can get you in trouble. Assuming you had him and need saves, you’ll need someone. Grab Jim Johnson. (Yes, he does sound like a guy that would hold 30 people hostage and organize a mass suicide.) If you’re set on saves, you still pick up the closer to spite your league! Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Billy Wagner – Out indefinitely. Ayala, Feliciano, Heilman, Sanchez then Smith, that’s not the order I see them getting saves. That’s alphabetical order. As far as Manuel’s concerned, that might be the order they get saves. What’s the difference between Jesus and the Mets’ current bullpen? At least some people have faith that Jesus saves.
Rich Harden – Forever injured in Oakland, Harden has been amazing for the Cubs (and fantasy owners). Another 10K game. I wonder if Cubs fans accidentally call him Mark Prior during their masturbatory fantasies. Billy Beane should sign Mark Prior and hope it is a lucky break in the DL/time continuum.
Ian Kinsler – Might come back from a slight hernia to play the last week or two of the season. Texas ain’t making the playoffs. Don’t strain yourself, Ian!
Kevin Youkilis – HR yesterday. Youuuuuuuk’s been on fire. .414/6/16 in August.
Josh Beckett – Will have his start pushed as he reported tingling in his arm after sleeping on it wrong. The way the Blue Jays hit him last outing, that’s probably not the only part of his body that’s tingling right now.
Braden Looper – 7 IP, 1 ER. I told you two weeks ago Looper would be lights out in August. So far, he has a 1.93 ERA. Are you waiting until September to pick him up when he’s not good anymore?
Kevin Slowey – Snow White’s K-challenged dwarf somehow struck out 12 A’s in a rout. As Billy Beane considers whether to trade some of his young prospects for some promising zygotes.
Brandon Lyon – Came into a 4 run game and gave up 3 earned in a third of an inning. Kazaam!
Ricky Nolasco – Two hit shutout with 11 Ks. Against the Giants, but still. This dooode’s been money. N to the Izz-O, L to the Izz-A. Fo shizzle, my Nolasco.
Clayton Richard – 6 shutout innings against the Mariners. The only pitchers I wouldn’t spot start against the Mariners pitch for the Mariners.
Aaron Harang – Start pushed back with neck spasms. “He couldn’t turn his head,” said Reds pitching coach Dick Pole. Funny that’s the coach’s name, cause this year Harang’s been a Cock Punch.
Adam Lind – HR yesterday. 4 homers in the last 6 games. Fans up Toronto probably missed it as they were off celebrating Carol Huynh’s Freestyle Wrestling Gold Medal. Okay, but let’s see her take on the Farmer’s Daughter from GLOW.