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Did you know that Vapors song, Turning Japanese, is about masturbation?  Because when said act is done, a man squints, hence turning Japanese.  Things that are offensive aren’t always racist, but, in this case, they are.  Too bad The Vapors follow up single, “When I Really Have To Pee, I Dance Like A Cherokee” never climbed the charts.  So this morning, Selig, on advice from his toupee, is taking the greatest day, Opening Day, and putting it up against infomercials and a three hour loop of the Emergency Broadcast Network.  Why the hell is Opening Day at 3:05 AM Pacific Standard Time, you ask.  Because Selig is a f*cking idiot.  That asterisk is a U, by the way.  In case that wasn’t clear.  Way to excite the next generation of baseball fans.  Take Opening Day 6,000 miles west and have the two worst teams play.  Could we not get the Padres to play the Washington Generals in Cape Horn?  Anyway, for fantasy baseball, pick up anyone who may play, especially in H2H leagues.  They’re all fair game.  If I were you, I’d focus on the hitters.  From what I’ve read, Japanese ballparks are smaller…. They’re definitely smaller than O.co and Safeco.  I already grabbed Smoak in one league.  If I saw Pennington and I had room, I’d get me some.  Kurt Suzuki?  What the hey!  Seth Smith?  Do it!  Mike Carp, or as the Japanese say “Mike Sashimi,” grab him!  Middle relievers or the starters for the 2nd game, Vargas and Colon, are fair game, too.  Don’t drop anyone that is obviously valuable for your team just for a two game series that you can’t even watch because it’s four hours before dawn on the West Coast!  But I’ll take any leg up on my competition because, remember, a leg up on the competition means you’re urinating on them.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:

Justin Smoak – Did he hit a home run this morning?  I hope so, but I’m writing this prior to 3 AM Pacific Standard Time so I have no clue.  Once again, eff Bud Selig.

Mat Latos – Left yesterday’s start with a mild calf strain.  Latos said, “I don’t know the layman’s terms of what’s going on but I’m fine.”  Isn’t that layman’s terms?  Latos said he’d make his next scheduled start.  I own Latos all over the place this year, and I’m not concerned.  It’s not an arm injury; he should be fine, or however they say it in layman’s terms.  Dusty’s Toothpick said, “Dusty and I plan on stretching Latos’s calf out on a medieval rack.  He’ll be good as new,” then Dusty’s Toothpick stroked his white cat.

Sean Marshall – Dusty is saying that he might choose to go with the dreaded closerousel, right after I went over all of the fantasy baseball closers.  Actually, I think this is a non-story.  The only thing that could happen is Marshall falters in April and someone else steps up.  Otherwise, Dusty will be all over Sean Marshall like Russell Brand was all over Sarah Marshall.

Lonnie Chisenhall – Optioned to the minors.  Well, my last round grab in one league is already gone as the Indians went with Jack Hannahan.  Maybe he threatened them with a liger.

Miguel Cabrera – Team doctors cleared him to get back to action and he should be fine for Opening Day.  This is a happy day for Miggy owners.  Miggy, “Is a happy day like a happy hour for twenty-four straight hours?”

Marlon Byrd – Nats and Braves have expressed interest.  They are going for Marlon Byrd after striking out in signing his more talented brothers, Damon and Keenen Ivory Byrd.

Nolan Arenado - Casey Blake did not make the club with them opting for a blahtoon of Chris Nelson and Jordan Pacheco until Nolan Arenado is ready.  This is surprising to me.  Just yesterday I put up the 2012 fantasy baseball rookies post and left off Nolan Arenado because I didn’t think he had a legitimate chance for good playing time this year before midseason, but now I’m thinking we might see him as early as June 1st.  If you’re not familiar with Nolan Arenado (BTW, his name only sounds right to me when you say the whole thing like Bobby Fischer or Mr. T), he won the AFL MVP (My acronyms got awards, snitches!).  AFL line was .388/.423/.636 in 121 ABs with 6 homers to go along with his 2011 minor league line of .298/.349/.487 and 20 homers and 122 RBIs in 517 ABs.  His minor league numbers were actually put up in a park that reduces home run numbers too.  Now that I’ve tempted you by the fruit of his booms get a load of this –>  He’s a 3rd baseman who will be playing his home games in Coors Field!  Hello, beautiful, it’s good to see you.  You are so not Ian Stewart.  That flake.  See, Nolan Arenado doesn’t strike out like a Donkey, Mini, Mini Mini or otherwise.  He walks.  He walks, you sexy beast!  Also, screw you, Garrett Atkins!  Go back to being a subject of the TV show, Whatever Happened to Garrett Atkins?  Something that wasn’t mentioned during my effusiveness (that’s a real word! (I think)) is those minor league numbers were in High-A.  He needs to see Double-A pitching, unless he’s a cyborg and he kills all pitching like Reggie wanted to kill the Queen.  In redraft leagues for right now, it’s too early to pick him up or draft him, but, what can I say, Rockies get me excited or exited if C’s scare you because of too many games of Words With Friends.  Now in keepers or dynasty leagues, I’d make sure to grab him later on for cheap when you’re filling out your bench.

Jordan Pacheco – Hey, his name sounds familiar… Oh, I just mentioned him.  Yeah, he’s in the Rockies 3rd base blahtoon.  He’s not much to talk about right now — so why do I keep talking about him?!  Well, he has catcher eligibility in some leagues, so those in deep 2 catcher leagues, he could be a play.

Nolan Reimold – Blue Jays recently inquired about Reimold.  I guess six outfielders/DHs isn’t enough.  Maybe Reimold can keep company with my other post-hype-I-keep-calling-him-a-sleeper-but-when-is-it-happening Travis Snider.

Jerry Sands – Dodgers sent him packing to the minors, opting for Juan Rivera.  The last time a Rivera replaced a Sands, they needed six bulldozers and permission from Bugsy Siegel.  Colletti was probably enamored with Rivera’s one good month last year, which was a Mirage.  I think it’ll turn out for everyone that this is a no Wynn.

Elvis Andrus – Left yesterday’s game with a tight hip.  Rangers said he’d be fine by Thursday.  Or, he’s too hip to be impaired, if you’re into Huey Lewis.

Scott Podsednik – Looking like a better bet to get a roster spot than Juan Pierre.  He’s hitting .362 and yesterday he homered off the bench.  I wonder who was pitching for the ball to go into the dugout so he could homer off the bench.  Is Oliver Perez back in baseball?

Brent Morel – Hit a homer yesterday, which is whatever, but I just wanted to remind people about my Brent Morel sleeper post.  I wrote it while washing my undercarriage.

Curtis Granderson – Was scratched with elbow soreness.  I’m usually scratched with elbow itchiness.  The Yankees don’t seem concerned, but they are sending him for an MRI.  For those that didn’t listen to my Curtis Granderson overrated post, prepare for me to be gleeful if his injury is serious.

Wade Davis – Will head to the bullpen with Jeff Niemann going into the 5th starter spot.  I’m not a fan of either guy, so this is whatever for fantasy, but I did notice an interesting resemblance with Jeff Niemann and this guy.

Mike Aviles – Red Sox announced he would be their starting shortstop.  No surprise here; they just made it official by optioning down Iglesias, who would be a non-factor anyway for 12-team leagues unless you count UZR as a statistic.

Jack Cust – Released by the Astros.  When pressed for comment, Jack cussed.  He was a three outcome pickup – awful starter, mediocre bench pickup, or preseason cut.  Cust kayin’.

From Around The Web

  1. Bourne says:
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    In other news, Brett Lawrie hit the most beautiful, effortless stand-up triple yesterday vs the Yankees since his effortless Griffey Jr bat flipping, tongue out like KISS walk off home run vs the Red Sox last year. Because he is in literally in the worst possible spot in the lineup, Lawrie was then stranded at third by CC.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Bourne, Nice

  2. prezii says:
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    Hey buddy. Found razzball a year back havent chose anything over it since. Keep up tje good work! Just lookin for a rating on my baseball squadso, here it is… 10 team h2h league. Mixed catergories. I had last pick.

    C- mauer(8)
    1b- fielder(1)
    2b- j. Weeks(12)
    SS- rollins (6)
    3b- lawrie(5)
    Of1- nelly cruz(4)
    Of2- werth (13)
    Of3- j. Heyward(9)
    Of4- al soriano(16)
    Utl- trumbo(15)
    Utl- brennen boesh(19)
    BN- lorenzo cain (23)

    Sp- kershaw(2)
    Sp- sabathia(3)
    Sp- wainwright(7)
    Rp- street(18)
    Rp- betancourt(22)
    P- pineda(11)
    P- romero(10)
    P-morrow(14)
    P-hellickson(17)
    P- kuroda (21)
    P- jurrgens(20)

    • Sweeney says:
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      @prezii, think you went for pitching to early with SP in the 2nd and 3rd rounds! maybe a source of trade value for you. good luck.

    • dingbat says:
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      @prezii, Here’s my take, for what it’s worth:

      1) Your offense is too weak. Taking pitchers with two of your top three picks left you without a strong enough offensive core. Fielder is great, but then you have Cruz (injury risk), Lawrie (rookie risk), Rollins (age and injury risk), Mauer (injury and ballpark risk), Heyward and Werth (recent crappiness risk). All of those are decent picks for where you got them, but in a 10-team league especially, you need more dependability. I think you got good value with your Heyward, Werth, and Boesch picks, for what it’s worth.

      2) Despite taking pitchers with your top two picks, your pitching staff could be stronger. You’ve got six (!) starters in the AL East, so while you’re likely to get a bunch of wins out of them, your ratios are bound to suffer. I like Street and Betancourt as your closers, but with only two sources of saves in a 10-team league, you’re already behind the curve.

      • prezii says:
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        @dingbat, @sweeney, thanx guys!

  3. Wombat Season says:
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    Adrian Gonzalez for Aramis/Krispie/Anibal… is that worth doing, I have Adrian.

    • dingbat says:
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      @Wombat Season, Normally not a good idea to trade away the best player in a transaction, but the talent coming back is good. Who would the incoming players be replacing? Who would be taking Gonzo’s place?

      • Wombat Season says:
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        @dingbat, Krispie would replace Pagan, then Aramis would fill my corner since I’d have to move Reynolds to 1B.

  4. Steve says:
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    As I write, it’s 9.40pm here, first pitch is about 90 minutes away. I just know that I’m going to wake up in the night and will have to take a look at how McCarthy went…

    • AL KOHOLIC says:
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      @Steve, you will like the results,but no win

  5. Bash says:
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    Grey

    16 team H2H need pitching badly who should I ship off for a starter/closer?

    C M Montero
    1b Morse
    2b K Johnson
    ss Andrus
    3b Lawrie
    OF H Pence, Kemp, Holliday
    U Cruz
    Bench Lind, Smoak

    SP Shields, Zimmerman, Fister, J Santana, Vogelsong, Pettite, Cecil
    RP Guerra, Holland

    • Sweeney says:
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      @Bash, do something that gets Lind into your everyday lineup.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Bash, Wow, your pitching is a bit of a mess… Try and ship Holliday…

  6. chata says:
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    of course , i’m watching thee game .
    both guy’s throwing one-hitter’s thru 3 innings .

    ichiro hits soft single to ss for the 1st hit of the season .
    jemile singles to center for A’s .

    and just now .. ackley hits HR to center (screw him)
    leading off the 4th .
    ichiro follows with 2nd hit to ss .
    McCarthy rattled .

    it’s going to be a long season , A’s fans .

    • JoeC says:
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      @chata, Yes… Yes, it is.

  7. chata says:
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    wife got up and made warm chocolate chip cookies for breakfast .
    takes some of the sting out of it .
    (she loves me) .

    later .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @chata, Aw…

  8. anon says:
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    1 game in, 1 sonovabench McCarthy! Seriously?! 6am EST start? And Brandon McCarthy is the As opening day starter?! WTF!!

    • AL KOHOLIC says:
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      @anon, if you bench him vs the mariners then you shouldnt own him,hehe

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @anon, HA!

    • Skeptic says:
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      @anon, yeah, I’d drop his terrible 1.29era, 0.86whip @$$…

  9. chata says:
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    pennington doubles to lead off bottom of the 4th .
    2 outs later , suzuki doubles him home .

    cookies are working !!

  10. Quintero says:
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    Keep all dynasty league. A-Rod/Beachy for my PeAl/Weaver. My team is able to win now with or without a solid 3B..this offer really bothers me..if anyone could share some wisdom on this, that would much appreciated.

    u gotta love that AKB48 sign behind the home plate at tokyo dome!

    • Z says:
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      @Quintero, Id take Arod and Beachy…I honestly think Pedro Alvarez is a total bust. I root for the poor little Pirates, but that is just sadly how it is. Arod is at least not going to lose his job to Casey McGehee. Weaver had a career year last year. Beachy may have his career year in the future.

      • Quintero says:
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        @Z, Thanks man. I’ll man-up and take the deal.

  11. chata says:
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    ichiro hits bouncer up the middle …. 3 for 3
    this time the ss doesn’t get a glove on it , as it
    dribbles into short center-field .

    he may hit .900 this year .

    still , McCarthy keeping it together …. 6 hits
    but still 1-1 going in to bottom half of the 6th .

  12. John says:
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    Grey, for a team looking a little light on steals would you rather have ian desmond or alexei ramirez?

    • Awesomus Maximus

      Awesomus Maximus says:
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      @John, Desmond will get you more steals, but he also might lose his job if he keeps sucking on defense. Alexei will get you some steals, and he’ll also get you more of everything else. If they cost you the same, Alexei is the much better choice.

      • Z says:
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        @Awesomus Maximus, Desmond certainly can be awful on defense, but idk who would actually take the job from him. I kind of thought he was safe to screw up ground ball outs for another year.

        • Awesomus Maximus

          Awesomus Maximus says:
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          @Z, Espinosa played SS in high school and into the minors, and got several starts there this spring so he could get reacquainted with the position. Johnson said it was just so there would be a backup SS in case Desmond got hurt, but what’s he going to say? Plus the Nats have DeRosa or Lombardozzi to fill in at 2B for Espinosa, if he were to move, or they could call up Rendon.

  13. chata says:
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    pennington .. 2 for 3 .. and steals 2nd .
    crisp moves him to 3rd .
    felix rattled and hits smith … 2 hbp’s for felix .
    but A’s can’t score , with runners on 1st and 3rd and only one out ,
    as suzuki and reddick both fly out to left .

    oh yeah .
    spoiler alert *

  14. chata says:
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    1-2-3 inning for McCarthy … striking out saunders for his 3rd K
    felix has 6

    1-1 … end of 7th

  15. chata says:
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    check that .
    bottom of 7th .

    yoenis leads off with double to the wall .

  16. PrinceRudyNasim says:
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    “Curtis Granderson – Was scratched with elbow soreness.  I’m usually scratched with elbow itchiness.”….smh lmao your the man. I love this site

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @PrinceRudyNasim, Thanks!

  17. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    As I mentioned in the previous post’s comments… the Japanese love our pastime more than we do, at this point, so maybe they deserve our opening day.

    How much do they love it? Well, they’ve given it a native name, ???? (pronounced yah-KYUU). May not seem like a big deal, but consider how long beer has been around and how awesome it is, and that is still called ??? (pronounced BEE-ru), not a native name. Or how pervasive and addictive McDonald’s is, yet that is still called ??? ???? (pronounced MAH-ku doh-NARU-doh), also not a native name.

    This tidbit brought to you by the Who Gives A Shit? Channel, check local listings or call your cable or satellite provider.

    [your racist website turns hiragana and katakana into question marks]

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Awesomus Maximus, I don’t agree they love our pastime more… Actually, I’ll say more that you can’t quantitatively say if they love it more. We gave futbol a name too, it’s called soccer, doesn’t mean we love soccer more than Brazil…

      • Awesomus Maximus

        Awesomus Maximus says:
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        @Grey, Yeah, but we rename everything in the US. The Japanese don’t (which was my point) unless they consider it an important part of their culture.

        Quantitatively? Hmm… when was the last time over 45,000 people showed up to a M’s vs. A’s game in the US?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, but that’s like people showing up for World Cup games in the US. It’s a novelty. If they had to watch 162 games of the A’s or M’s would they still be there… Also, I’m not sure that an Opening Day in Seattle wouldn’t be sold out either…

  18. Project_Badass says:
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    Happy Opening Day Grey!!! Great stuff as usual, thanks for all your hard work…Just finished my last draft of the year, what do you think?

    I missed out on a top SP because there were all kept or taken by my 60th overall pick, so I am going to try package a SP and RP for a #1 starter like Grienke…I feel that will balance out my staff

    12-team 5×5 (QS instead of Wins) roto, 4-player keeper (u lose the round your drafted them in the next year), 200 GS limit

    C- Martin
    1B- Miggy
    2B- Phillips
    3B- Lawrie
    SS- Desmond
    MI- Aaron Hill
    CI- Youk
    OFx5- McCutchen, Hamilton, Heyward, Gordon, Bourjos
    UTIL- Montero (will replace Martin)
    BN- Escobar, Vernon Wells

    SP- CJ Wilson, Daniel Hudson, Gio, Chacin, Cahill, Filthy Sanchez
    RP- Valverde, Putz, Marmol, Francisco, Myers, Jim Johnson

    • dingbat says:
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      @Project_Badass, Holy crap — six closers? You could offer SP+RP+RP for SP and still be set for saves.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Project_Badass, Thanks! Your hitting looks like a much deeper league than it is… I’m guessing your keepers weren’t terrific… Yeah, package a SP and RP and upgrade…

      • Project_Badass says:
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        @Grey, Do you think I should also package a hitter and RP for an upgrade? If so, who would you try to upgrade?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Project_Badass, Upgrade your middle infield if you can… I’d probably hold for now…

  19. chata says:
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    yoenis stranded , ‘cuz allen can’t bunt , and felix stabs sogards
    liner up the middle and retires next batter .

    cook in to relieve McCarthy and sets down mariners 1-2-3 in the 8th .

    the A’s are going to will this game , i tell ya !!

  20. chata says:
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    ryan (ss) ranges to behind 2nd base to deny pennington
    his 3rd hit of the day .
    1-2-3 for felix .
    1-1 still , with ichiro to lead off the 9th .

    japanese fans , seemingly , have replaced those inflatable
    “bang sticks” with what appears to be minature wooden bats .
    wonder how that wil play , here in the states .

  21. chata says:
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    balfour retires ichiro , on liner to left .
    smoak hits liner that bounces off 1st base bag ,
    weeks ranges behind 1st and back-hands to balfour … nice play ,
    montero flys to deep right-center .

    bottom of 9th coming up .

  22. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    The oh so rare 8.0 IP, 1 ER, no decision for F-Her. Won’t see too many of those, folks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Awesomus Maximus, Ha!

  23. chata says:
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    wilhelmsen starts 9th for mariners .
    suzuki flies out to center .
    reddick makes carp jump to 9 feet for fly out to left (13′ high fence) .
    yoenis K’s ….. could have been a hero .

    extra frames .

  24. Ken Caminiti says:
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    I feel the same about McCuth…I will be quite gleeful when he just replicates last years stats and is a bust in the 2nd round.

    • beardcrabs says:
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      @Ken Caminiti, don’t hate…

  25. chata says:
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    fuentes comes on in the 10th .
    1-2-3
    no K’s .

  26. Aaron says:
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    1-1 extra innings game. Well done Selig. What did you expect from those two teams?

  27. Eddie says:
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    Who do you like better as a backup SS? Alcides Escobar or Cliff Pennington? I’m starting Reyes so I expect to need one of these guys at some point when Jose hits the DL. H2H mixed league which credits hitters for walks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Eddie, Alcides

  28. chata says:
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    wilhelmsen back out for the 10th .
    allen hand-cuffs ackley on shot to 2nd …. throwing error .
    cowgill running for allen …. thrown out on steal … nice throw by olivo .
    sogard lines out to left .

    carnigan comes on in 11th and gives up double to ryan .
    figgins bunts him over to 3rd , and ackley’s 2nd hit of the night
    drives in ryan .

    i hate baseball .

  29. LadyScorpio says:
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    When will MLB wake up and ditch Selig?!? He is a buffoon! My 88 year old Aunt could do a better job than him as commissioner of the league.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @LadyScorpio, Exactly… Is your 88 year old aunt a reader too? Hey, 6 girl readers!

  30. chata says:
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    ackley steals 2nd , off of blevins in relief , despite good throw by suzuki .
    ichiro singles to center .
    mariner’s 3-1 .

    ichiro ties k. griffey jr as only mlb players to get 4 hits on opening day .

    bottom of 11th coming up .

  31. Eddy says:
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    /rubs eyes

    Ughh, I have to wake up early to see Open–

    What’s this? A slam and legs for breakfast from Ackley? Oh, you know how to make me blush.

    Baseball is finally back!

    • Wilsonian says:
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      @Eddy, the problem is, it’s back for today and tomorrow…then it’s gone again for a week.

      • Eddy says:
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        @Wilsonian, Those who had less than desirable results will be forced to stare at the numbers for about 5-6 days without any action. My opponent already has an 0/9 to ponder.

        • Wilsonian says:
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          @Eddy, Ha! Luckily I’ve got Ichiro and Balfour going today. They didn’t do anything to hurt me. Unfortunately, my opponent has League.

  32. Eddy says:
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    Also, Grey, I had a follow up on last night’s question about whether Stanton should be year 1 if traded in off-season and whatnot.

    What should be the cutoff date for trades for when a player is traded and makes that year count as year one?

    Like, if someone trades me Strasburg, if I get him before (X-date), then that’s too early and thus that counts as year one. If I get him after that date, then I won’t have used him enough in the season to justify making that year one.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Eddy, Opening Day

      • Eddy says:
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        @Grey, Really? Isn’t that essentially an entire year?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Eddy, What are you gonna do an arbitrary day everyone has to agree on? People should know going in that they’re giving a player for basically an entire extra year if they trade right after Opening Day…

  33. chata says:
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    league on in the 11th .
    pennington flies deep to wells (who replaces carp in left field) .
    coco crips strikes out … (no blood) .
    smith almost takes league’s head off , with sharp liner thru to center .
    league K’s suzuki for 3rd out , and 1st save of the season .
    wilhelmsen gets the 1st win .

    this play-by-play brought to you by the last A’s fan on the east coast .

    condolences to royce(!) .

    • 3FingersBrown says:
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      @chata, So are you a hold over from when they played in Philly? Damn you old.

      • chata says:
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        @3FingersBrown,
        since the winter of ’59 ,
        when the yanks traded jerry lumpe , to kansas city ,
        for some bum named roger maris .

        always wanted to be a 2nd baseman , but they stuck
        my fat azz in right-field (boring) and on 3rd base .

        • 3FingersBrown says:
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          @chata, Ha! I forgot the A’s played in KC for a spell. That’s awesome man. I’d like to see the A’s regain respectability, they were a successful franchise for a long time.

          As a kid, I used to pretend to be Willie Randolph turning the double play. Unfortunately, I had an arm like Steve Sax so I ended up playing 1st.

    • prezii says:
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      @chata, props to you player. A’s fan over here in the bay area. Good job on the broadcasting, but like you said earlier…. We gon be in for a longgggggg season maneee lol but then again when is it not?

      • chata says:
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        @prezii,

        i honestly have always thought that “we” had a chance ,
        until beane got awarded minority ownership .

        some call him a genius ,
        but i see him as a pocket-stuffer .

        keep the faith .

    • chata says:
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      @chata,

      3 hours later , during my aqua-therapy ,
      i remember that i should have sent a sympathy card
      to oaktown , as well .

  34. Eddy says:
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    Question for RCL’ers.

    Have you guys experienced any issues with the add/drops in the home page? Our league just shows three moves made on March 23 and nothing else.

    • VinWins

      VinWins says:
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      @Eddy, Yeah, have to click at the bottom on Transactions to get the latest activity. Hopefully that will clear up soon.

      • Eddy says:
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        @VinWins, Gotcha, thanks!

  35. Rabbit says:
    (link)

    Not only is Turning Japanese about masturbation, but Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” is about a guy learning how to give oral sex to girls and thereby increasing his social status in high school. No. 2 Fun Music/Sex Fact of the Day. For bonus points, what’s The Violent Femmes “Add It Up” about? (Hint: think Oedipus. Now listen to the song again. Creepy.)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Rabbit, Kitty in the Middle… Yeah! What’s Add It Up about?

      • Rabbit says:
        (link)

        @Grey, “Oh, my, my, my, my, my, mo, my, mother, I would love to love you, lover.” About a kid who has serious psychological issues because he wants to have sex with his mother. And he actually asks her to. The real kicker is the last stanza of the song, which begins with the son talking:

        “‘I’ve given you a decision to make,
        Things to Lose, Things to Take,’
        Just as she’s about ready to cut it up,
        She says, ‘Wait a minute honey, I’m gonna add it up.”

        I.e., she’s pondering the request, adding up the pluses and minuses. The Violent Femmes were pretty warped.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @Rabbit, Gross…

        • 3FingersBrown says:
          (link)

          @Rabbit, I think Blister In The Sun is also about beating off.

          • Rabbit says:
            (link)

            @3FingersBrown, I agree. Spanking the Monkey seems like a fairly common theme in rock (generally speaking) music. Turning Japanese, Blister in the Sun, Green Day’s Longview, The Divinyls I Touch Myself, Van Halen’s I’ll Wait, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure there’s lots more out there.

  36. Empowers monkey says:
    (link)

    In my cash roto league I have Ackley, McCarthy and League. Pretty happy with the results of that game!

  37. ernie says:
    (link)

    H2H, 12 teams – 6×6 (R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OPS, W, L, SV, K, ERA, WHIP)

    C Alex Avila (Det – C)
    1B Pablo Sandoval (SF – 1B,3B)
    2B Brandon Phillips (Cin – 2B)
    3B Evan Longoria (TB – 3B)
    SS Hanley Ramírez (Mia – SS)
    LF Logan Morrison (Mia – LF)
    CF Chris Young (Ari – CF)
    RF Giancarlo Stanton (Mia – RF)
    Util Nick Markakis (Bal – RF)
    BN Brennan Boesch (Det – LF,RF)
    BN Alejandro De Aza (CWS – CF,RF)

    SP Yovani Gallardo (Mil – SP)
    SP Gio González (Was – SP)
    RP Jordan Walden (LAA – RP)
    RP Matt Capps (Min – RP)
    P Daniel Hudson (Ari – SP)
    P Yu Darvish (Tex – SP)
    P Brandon McCarthy (Oak – SP)
    BN Mike Minor (Atl – SP)
    BN Brett Myers (Hou – SP)
    BN Tim Stauffer (SD – SP)
    BN Jake Peavy (CWS – SP)
    BN Aroldis Chapman (Cin – RP)

    What do you think Grey? It is a good team? I feel my pytching staff may be weak… hitters seems ok.

    Thoughts?

    Thanks for taking the time to comment. Cheers!

    • dingbat says:
      (link)

      @ernie, I think your offense is pretty badass, but you’re weak on steals. Hanley, Phillips, Young, and De Aza should each be good for 15-25 steals, but you’re short one serious speedster. Hard to say without having the round #s of your draft picks, but maybe you could have snagged a SAGNOF candidate instead of Markakis or Boesch?

      Your SPs aren’t too weak — between Gallardo and Darvish you could have two legitimate aces, and Gio and Hudson are good 3-4 pitchers — but you’ve got three mediocre-to-poor closers. Both Capps and Walden could be replaced by June if they blow enough early saves, so you’re going to need to be quick to pick up replacements.

      • ernie says:
        (link)

        @dingbat, Thanks for rating, ringbat. I appreciate it. GL!

  38. nightpandas says:
    (link)

    RCL league drafted last night, (5×5, 12team). How did I do? Should I grab a middle reliever (Rauch, Benoit, KRod) over Alvarez. Harper rosterable in this format?

    C C Santana
    1B P Goldschmidt
    2B R Cano
    3B D Wright
    SS A Escobar
    2B/SS A Hill
    1B/3B D Freese
    OF J Ellsbury
    OF A Gordon
    OF N Markakis
    OF C Young
    OF J Heyward
    Util A Presley
    BN R Howard
    BN C Headley
    BN B Harper

    P F Hernandez
    P M Garza
    P C Luebke
    P H Kuroda
    P T Cahill
    P C Buckholz
    P A Alvarez

    P C Kimbrel
    P C Perez

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @nightpandas, Harper’s not really rosterable at this point, K-Rod… I think your team looks really solid… Obviously Goldscmidt, Wright and Freese are concerns…

  39. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    Here’s a question: being that there are roughly 9 days between this game and game three in this series, is it likely that Felix and McCarthy will throw two games?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian, Yup

  40. #1contenda says:
    (link)

    yo grey man,
    i herd reimold leading off son. that lookin true?

    respeckt

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @#1contenda, Not sure what Reimold you’re talking about leading off but it’s not Nolan.

  41. stynyr says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey,

    Just bought ‘Who is Grey Albright?’. A little late but you know the saying. Now, how do I get the damn thing?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @stynyr, Thanks, will email it!

  42. Tony says:
    (link)

    Morel or Arenado?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Tony, Morel

  43. golfnut says:
    (link)

    Now that Lind hurt his back AGAIN…….do i drop him for Gaby Sanchez?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @golfnut, No

  44. Jif & The Choosy Mothers says:
    (link)

    Grey/others,

    I just joined an old friend’s league and I have a question. The settings are such that top tier pitchers are point projected at the very lowest tier hitters. Obviously we still need to draft pitchers, but I’m wondering how this should impact where pitchers go in the draft and how I should rank them.

    Perhaps a silly question, really, but I’m having a brain freeze.

    • Z says:
      (link)

      @Jif & The Choosy Mothers, Try not to be the first one to draft a pitcher. Wait, and try to act accordingly. If someone takes Verlander, keep an eye on Halladay, Kershaw, Lee, etc…if someone takes Latos, keep an eye on Hudson, Kennedy, etc. It sounds like pitchers arent that important anyway. Go with whoever you can get within the tiers.

  45. Rennan says:
    (link)

    Grey, Rudy, and fellow Razzballers:

    Love the site guys! Rudy, your stats posts make think harder than I ever did in econometrics classes and Grey, your intros make me giggle like a teenage girl.
    So, here is my diarrhea of a draft for my 12-team, 5×5, Yahoo $20 league.
    I thought I’d try a different strategy in owning ALL closers…Ok kidding.  By the time the 8th round came about, Papelbon was the best available player.  I’ve never been one to draft top closers but I couldn’t quite get myself to draft Rickie Weeks, Corey Hart, or Carl Crawford at that point.
    I am aware I lack speed, but SAGNOF! (should’ve SAGNOFed myself during the draft, i know!!)
    So, two things.
    First I’d like to get your take(s) on my team. Average will be an issue with Jay Bruce, Mark Reynolds and Kelly Johnson.
    Secondly, I was offered the following trade: his Josh Hamilton for my Gallardo AND Papelbon (or Axford).  Thoughts? I’m a little hesitant because having 2 players who will each play a max of 120 games in Aramiz and J. Hamilton could really hurt me, but then again, SP is deep and I think I could stream enough SP to make up for the loss of my “ace”.
    Thanks guys!

    C  Ramon Hernandez
    1B Joey Votto
    2B Kelly Johnson
    3B Evan Longoria
    SS Yunel Escobar
    OF Andrew McCutchen
    OF Jay Bruce
    OF Colby Rasmus
    Util Aramis Ramirez
    Util Mark Reynolds
     
    SP Yovani Gallardo
    SP Madison Bumgarner
    RP Jonathan Papelbon
    RP John Axford
    P Jason Motte
    P Javy Guerra
    P Matt Thornton
    P Sean Marshall
    BN Brandon Beachy
    BN Anibal Sanchez
    BN Jonathan Broxton
    BN Greg Holland
    BN Tim Stauffer

    • Z says:
      (link)

      @Rennan, thats not the worst deal, but I think your opponent may gain a little bit more…so, i think you can get a better deal. where you gain equal. Aim for a notsoinjury prone star for that package.

      • Rennan says:
        (link)

        @Z, Thanks Z. I agree with you. What if I were to trade Papelbon and Matt thornton for Carlos Santana? I have CL depth so it wouldn’t be too hard a hit on saves. Thoughts?

        • dingbat says:
          (link)

          @Rennan, I like that deal better for you. The upgrade from Hernandez to CSantana is pretty huge, and I don’t think you have enough SPs to afford trading Gallardo away.

    • beardcrabs says:
      (link)

      @Rennan, i think you can do better than hamilton…

  46. K76154 says:
    (link)

    Wrote the comment in old posts, but I think I should put it here.

    I have Angel Pagan in FA and considering to drop Aaron Hill, Mat Gamel, or Mike Aviles for him. Should I drop any of them for Pagan? Or just leave Pagan in FA? The stats categories are R RBI SB TB AVG OBP. Since it has OBP, Aviles may be a liability in this league, but his multi position eligibility and being in Boston is very valuable.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @K76154, Can lose Aviles…

  47. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    Grey – i know you have a man crush on adam Lind this year. Is this lower back injury changin your mind a little? same injury that knocked him out for a month last year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @The Talented Mr. Dope Man, Not yet…

  48. Loopid says:
    (link)

    Grey, who would you rather have in a dynasty points league? Darvish or Beachy?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Loopid, Beachy

  49. sugarcain says:
    (link)

    I am struggling to fill out my OF/UT spots and could use some help in light of spring training/sexy names etc: Which three do you keep in a vacuum? Logan Morrison, Torii Hunter, Angel Pagan, Colby Rasmus, Delmon Young, Denard Span, Brennan Boesch, Vernon Wells?

    • A Hill O' Beans says:
      (link)

      @sugarcain, Personally without knowing any more details, I’d hold onto Young, Boesch and Morrison.

      • JoeC says:
        (link)

        @A Hill O’ Beans, Morrison’s knee is wonky. I’d hold Hunter, Young and Boesch.

  50. Ryan says:
    (link)

    I am in a 20 team h2h dynasty league. I was offered anibal sanchez and mitch moreland for my gamel and matusz. Am I missing something here lol? I’m pretty sure I win this deal. Do I consider this deal?

    c jp arencibia
    1b miguel cabrera
    2b neil walker
    ss yunel escobar
    3b evan longoria
    inf prince fielder
    lf carl crawford
    cf peter bourjos
    rf justin upton
    of carlos lee
    util vernon wells
    bn ryan lavernway
    Bn miguel Sano
    Bn mat gamel
    sp clayton kershaw
    sp cliff lee
    sp ubaldo jiminez
    sp jon lester
    rp jason motte
    rp matt throton
    rp matt reynolds
    rp matt capps
    p scott downs
    p brad peacock
    bn aaron harang
    bn scott downs
    bn garrett richards
    bn blake beaven
    bn brian matusz

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Ryan, You win…

  51. Pochucker says:
    (link)

    Make a long story short –had great draft in my 12t hth league -two weeks ago. (Braun at #5, Longoria @20, ptching staff — Price,Latos,Zimmerman,Sanchez,A and Luebke) but basically ended up picking scrap heap for SS,2B,and MI.

    Right now on my team is HiLL,Furcal,Scutaro,Altuve and Rayburn. I need to drop one of these guys by next Wed. My guess is Raburn since I have plenty of power elsewhere and am little short on speed –besides I can do what I do every year with Rayburn drop in April pick up again 2nd half.
    Other thought is Furcal if he bats 9th .

    Your thoughts please?

    • Z says:
      (link)

      @Pochucker, As to your specific question, is Kelly Johnson available? Out of those 5 none are great options. Id go with…not Furcal, of the others, crapshoot. But really, I think the issue is that you shouldnt worry so much about your crappy MI. Just pick one SS and one 2B, both with upside, and hope they have good years…or hope that you find a good bat, like you said, a rayburn type, on waivers at some point…use those handcuff mediocre MI picks to bolster another area like SP or RP…late draft saves can gain you way more in a midseason trade than late draft MI.

      I like your pitching, should be a solid team.

  52. Z says:
    (link)

    Grey – first, thank you. But i think i drafted a great razzball style team. I kind of punted average (can you do that?)…otherwise im optimistic. I started with keepers Bautista, Longoria, and Hamels in a 12 team keeper. (I would have liked 3 hitters…but i couldnt keep Longoria, Bautista, and Lawrie…3B…and my best options) Anyway…

    C,1B- Santana
    1B, OF- K. Morales
    2B, OF- Zobrist
    SS- Gordon
    3B-Longoria
    OF,3B- Bautista
    OF- Jennings
    OF- C. Young
    Util, 1B,3B- M. Reynolds
    bench – OF – Presley

    SP- Hamels
    SP- Latos
    SP- Luebke
    SP(?)- Sale
    SP- Worley
    SP(?!) Bard
    SP- Volquez

    RP- Street
    RP- Jansen
    RP- Holland
    RP- Capps
    SP(RP!)- Myers

    Grey, readers? thoughts?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Z, Your team looks really solid, doesn’t help with those keepers… Only problem is average as you said…

  53. frank rizzo says:
    (link)

    Rotoworld said the Rangers were going to be extra careful with Andrus so that he can open the season. Is a slight hip pointer really that big of a deal?

    Scotty Pods’ wife is exquisite.

    Started McCarthy and League last night! 1 Save, 5 K’s, 1.12 ERA, and .88 WHIP. Not bad. Apparently Jesus Montero hates Japan though.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @frank rizzo, Ha! I think Andrus should be fine…

  54. Sarah Marshall says:
    (link)

    Rank em’ – McCarthy. Fister. Chacin. I remember Chacin being higher on your rankings, but doesn’t the big difference in WHIP and home park make it close?

  55. Dad says:
    (link)

    @ Grey/Anyone: First, i gagged a bit when i read about you washing your undercarriage. But, the ironic thing is if you don’t vigorously scrub down there on occasion you could run the risk of having a Morel mushroom grow down there.

    Anywho. My ESPN league that i drafted in last night doesn’t have a DH slot, but it does have a Util slot. But, because of that people (or for some other reason) Jesus Montero, Ortiz, Billy “moobs” Butler and others weren’t in the player pool. I had 16th pick, so i have first waiver priority. If/when Montero or others gain catcher or 1B eligiblity, do the suddenly appear in the player pool? That would change my waiver strategy. But, I’ve never seen this before. The “Player Universe” shows “All MLB” but i must be missing something.

    – Confused in Saskatoon

    • A Hill O' Beans says:
      (link)

      @Dad, Did you try actually searching for the players names on the player page? They should be there.

      I can’t think of any league I’ve been in (ESPN or Yahoo) that actually has a roster spot called “DH”. They’re always just Util spots in my experience. So if you are looking for a guy who is only eligible as a DH you can either search for his name, or he should show up in the list of “All Batters”, where you haven’t narrowed it down by a particular position.

      Unless there is some strange setting going on in your league?

      • Dad says:
        (link)

        @A Hill O’ Beans, There must be something strange going on. I’m certain they aren’t on any teams (I was looking for the players while drafting and did a Ctrl+F on the draft results and also search All Players in the player pool (whether rostered or not)). I’ll talk to the league commish. Not only strange, but it makes no sense.

  56. artie says:
    (link)

    Looking for some feedback on an offer:

    Kendrick/Rios/Marmol for Morse/Choo/Bastardo

    Thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @artie, Kendrick side…

      • artie says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Would your opinion change if it were Espinosa instead of Kendrick?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @artie, Yup

  57. Eddy says:
    (link)

    Storen is going to start the year on the DL, Davey confirmed. Thinks mid-April return but he may be “overly hopeful”.

    No word yet on who will close, but I’m guessing with Lidge’s huffin’ and puffin’ yesterday about him wanting the closer’s role, it’d be him.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Eddy, Yup

  58. peter says:
    (link)

    I’m 99% sure this question has already been posed in an earlier comment section, but… when will Yahoo put players on the DL? Everyday I stare angrily at Chase Utley’s name for 5 minutes. I feel like Lucille Bluth, tape recording Buster’s snoring, and saying “IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY.”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @peter, Probably next week…

      • Sean says:
        (link)

        @Grey, @peter, Yahoo puts players on the DL when they hit the real life DL. Most teams are putting guys on the 60 right now but apart from the Mariners or A’s, nobody has any reason to put people on the 15. So while a few teams may go early, for the most part you will be waiting until (real) opening day.

  59. Eng says:
    (link)

    Would you really roster Gregerson ahead of Cahsner? I noticed this in the Closer post yesterday but was thinking , “Cash seems more of a Grey kinda pitcher…”. I’m concerned about a Street trade you see.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Eng, I’d go Gregerson right now for possible vulture saves…

  60. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:
    (link)

    Yo Grey:

    Because I drafted Lawrie last night — it was a 5th round choice btw Lawrie and A-Rod, which is about as close to a soul-defining choice on all levels as you can have in fantasy baseball — I went back and re-read that Sexy Names post and your description of the difference btw owning Lawrie and A-Ram is the most succinct summation of the emotional roller-coaster of fantasy as I’ve ever read. (And I’ve read a lot of summations of the emotional roller-coaster of fantasy, since that’s what I did my PhD in.)

    Will post team at some point but lots of Razzball-approved names: Best moment was picking McCuthchen at #23 then grabbing Giancarlo Stanton on the backswing, at #26. Add Adam Jones in the 8th round and that’s a Razz-approved OF, right there.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Baron Von Vulturewins, Ha! Thanks… Sounds like a very solid OF. Yum-yum…

    • dingbat says:
      (link)

      @Baron Von Vulturewins, The Baron’s back!

  61. PublicEnemy#1 says:
    (link)

    No mention of the Magic Johnson group’s two Bigiznillion dollar purchase of Chavez Ravine and that collection of quad-A and veteran has beens that surround Kemp and Kershaw? I know, it isn’t directly fantasy related. But I thought this was a down economy. Spending that much quiche is like a rich person’s bat flip. Just showing off! Too bad that in baseball there’s always a way to get even and that’ll occur when they officially take over Los Doyers and start to try and unravel the crap Ned Colletti has formed and calls a major league roster.
    For fun, who are the top five impact players you think the Dodgers could end up with between now and the start of the 2013 season. Here’s my list:

    Zack Greinke
    David Wright
    Brandon Phillips
    Josh Hamilton
    Cole Hamels

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @PublicEnemy#1, Swisher seems LA…

    • Sweeney says:
      (link)

      @PublicEnemy#1, I expect the Dodgers to take Jurrjens or Hanson from the Braves this offseason, as their cheap years start to come to an end

  62. zach says:
    (link)

    Hey fellas,
    I’m joining a league where everybody else has been playing a few years and gets keepers and developmental players (which you can keep in the original round you drafted him in if nobody takes them in the first 3 rounds). I’m taking J Upton first round.

    My Question: Is it worth it to take Hosmer 3rd Round as a steal of somebody’s developmental player? All the best 1B are sort of tied up.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @zach, Sure, Hosmer there isn’t too far of a reach…

  63. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    Was offered D-Huddy/Romo for Luebke/Myers. Correct to turn that down?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian, Yes

      • Wilsonian says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Countered with Hellickson and Marmol (still have 5 closers after that). May be too much, but I dunno. Just can’t deal Luebke yet. I’ve got high hopes for the lone non-Hodgepadre on the Padres. Doesn’t help that this guy is a Razzball reader…

  64. EG says:
    (link)

    Thoughts on below team? 12 team, H2H. Thanks…

    C – Wieters
    1B – Pujols
    2B – Kinsler
    SS – Andrus
    3B – Wright
    OF – Bruce
    OF – Krispie
    OF – Bourjos
    Util – Butler
    Bench – Lind
    SP – Lee
    SP – Bumgarner
    SP – Anibal Sanchez
    SP – Scherzer
    SP – Chacin
    SP – Jonathan Sanchez
    SP – Baker
    SP – Vogelsong
    RP – Putz
    RP – Thornton
    RP – Johnson

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @EG, Team is high on speed and low on power… Your SPs are better than they need to be…

      • EG says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Lose Bourjos for any of the following?

        Rasmus, D. Young, Vernon Wells, Boesch and Tabata

        Thanks again.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @EG, DL Baker when possible and grab Boesch…

  65. KarlJ. says:
    (link)

    Had a 10 team 5×5 roto draft last night

    C Mauer
    1B Pujols
    2B Kendrick
    SS H Ramirez
    3B Wright
    MI Jeter
    CI Moustakous
    OF McCutchen
    OF Hamilton
    OF Victorino
    OF L Cain
    OF Rios
    UT Lind

    SP Bumgarner
    SP Cain
    SP G Gonzalez
    SP J Zimmerman
    SP U Jimenez
    RP H Bell
    RP Street
    RP Guerra
    P Chacin

    Don’t have an ace SP but probably have 4 or 5 top 25 SP’s. Is my pitching strong enough? Any other weaknesses or strengths?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @KarlJ., The pitching looks fine, and the hitting looks decent if slightly low on power…

      • KarlJ. says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        Thanks. Maybe drop Moustakous for Carlos Pena???

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @KarlJ., Hold for now…

  66. King of Nothing says:
    (link)

    Bourjos & J Sanchez for Luebke

    Which side? Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @King of Nothing, Depends on need…

      • King of Nothing says:
        (link)

        @Grey, It’s really more of a depth thing for me. I’d be giving up Bourjos. Already have mccutchen, pence, stubbs, cain, rasmus, cuddyer on top of bourjos. 12 team H2H, start 3 OFs. Just looking to add some more SP upside. Currently have lincecum, bumgarner, a sanchez, marcum, worley, volquez, lohse, j sanchez.

        thanks!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Then it makes sense for you to get the SP…

    • Sweeney says:
      (link)

      @King of Nothing, I think that depends how deep the league is (i.e. what outfielder you’ll need to drop to make room for Bourjos). That said I like the Bourjos side.

  67. mets fan says:
    (link)

    Grey who would you rather have Lance Lynn or Tommy Milone?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @mets fan, Milone, coin flip…

  68. Salty Balty says:
    (link)

    Hey man. Hope you had a good “offseason.” First question of the year for ya.

    14 team mixed, my rotation is:

    Verlander
    A. Sancheze
    J. Chacin
    S. Baker
    M. Minor
    D. Pomeranz

    Looking for a spot starter to round out the staff while Chris Carpenter is on the mend (took him against your advice . . . that worked out well, doh!). Would you go with Henderson Alvarez, Tommy Milone, C. Capuano, or M. Leake? Traditional scoring categories, plus K/BB.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Salty Balty, Milone

  69. 3FingersBrown says:
    (link)

    @Grey, 6×6 12 team H2H Keeper counting standard 5 + OBP. I’ve got Ackley at 2B and Gaby Sanchez at CI. Tabata, Carp, Craig at UTL

    Would you deal Ackley + Carp for Ike Davis?

    I offered this deal, since I really felt I should have waited on 2B and took Davis where I took Ackley (8th round). Altuve and Scutaro are available on waivers, so I’d probably grab Altuve for 2B and shift Sanchez over to UTL if this deal is made.

    My team is a little low on power and I think Davis will do well this year. Of course I’m a Mets fan and the last time I drafted a Met, Billy Wagner’s arm fell off so there’s that.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d take Davis…

      • 3FingersBrown says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Good to know. With Ackley’s slam and legs this morning, I’ve got a good feeling that this trade will happen.

      • 3FingersBrown says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Altuve was just taken off of waivers by another guy. I didn’t realize Scutaro was just SS, so would you make this move if the alternative at 2B was Omar Infante, Tyler Greene, Ruben Tejada or Mark Ellis (ewwwww)?

        Anyway, I’m wondering if I should withdraw this offer if the alternative is one of these other bums.

  70. Rabbit says:
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    I think the reason Nolan Arenado’s name only sounds right if you say the whole thing is because Nolan Arenado has the exact same cadence as Domo arigato, as in “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.” This says to me that Nolan Arenado’s nickname should be Mr. Roboto, especially since you have already hypothesized that he is a cyborg in your blurb. Cust kayin’. (Yes, I know you already have Robot Jones, but he sucks now. Nolan Arenado, Mr. Roboto!)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha!

  71. Hi Grey — First question of the season, but I’ll start out saying thanks for the help before my drafts. Made a big difference.

    And two questions:

    –In both a 14- and 16-team league I punted C and ended up with Wilin Rosario on the chance that he might get time at DH or 1B and do OK. But it now looks like that may take a while. In the 14-teamer I have a choice between Doumit, John Buck. and Olivo … in the 16-teamer there’s more choice: Doumit, Saltalamacchia, Hundley, and Olivo. I’m most interested in avoiding the BA drain since I think that’ll be a weak point, but a little power wouldn’t hurt.

    Also, in 14-team league I drafted Tehran and Stauffer to compete to be my fifth starter, which I’m now second guessing (the other four are Bumgarner, Anabel, Scherzer, Cahill). Should I drop either one for Ivan Nova, Gavin Floyd, or Peavy? For the other spot, Mike Aviles? Lorenzo Cain? Streamer?

    Sorry to ask so much the first time out … thanks again for the help in the past.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Enrique, No problem… Doumit… Doumit… Stuaffer… Cain…

      • @Grey, Grazie!

  72. TheBravesWear Prado says:
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    Would appreciate feedback from anyone. 12 team h2h mixed OBP instead of avg, TB instead of homeruns, net steals instead of steals and QS instead of wins

    C. M. Montero
    1B Morse
    2B Uggla
    3B Lawrie
    SS Andrus
    OF Kemp
    OF Holliday
    OF Heyward
    UTIL Ortiz
    UTIL Pena
    Bench Kubel

    SP Beachy
    SP Zimmerman
    SP Marcum
    SP Wandy
    SP Lilly
    SP Minor
    SP Danks
    RP Putz
    RP Marmol
    RP Balfour
    RP Thornton

    I don’t really have any #1 starters but think I have decent depth there. Thinking about picking up Lorenzo Cain and dropping Kubel for some more speed although I am intrigued to see what he can do in the desert now that he’s out of Target.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @TheBravesWear Prado, Drop Kubel for Cain… Your pitching is definitely weaker than your hitting, which isn’t terrible…

      • TheBravesWear Prado says:
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        @Grey, Not terrible. I’ll take it considering I ended up drafting Dunn and Morneau in this league last year.

  73. Fowler says:
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    Chacin or Feliz?

    I own chacin and feliz is on waivers

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Fowler, See my rankings…

  74. Nonstoptalk says:
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    Grey… You rated this team last night. Thanks for that.

    12 Team H2H Keeper 6×5 (Standard + Hits)

    Trade Ortiz for Bonifacio or am I better off just punting SB all together in H2H? Thanks in advance…

    C: Jesus Montero (K)
    1B: Paul Konerko (K)
    2B: Dustin Pedroia (K)
    3B: Kevin Youkilis
    SS: Hanley Ramirez (K)
    OF: Nelson Cruz
    OF: Jason Heyward
    OF: Jason Werth
    UTIL: David Ortiz

    BN: Lucas Duda
    BN: Danny Valenica
    BN: Bryce Harper

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Nonstoptalk, I’d take Bonifacio…

  75. Principal Blackman says:
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    I just had my 12-team 6×6 roto draft. The extra categories are OPS and K9.

    c-Arencibia ($4)
    1b-Konerko ($20)
    2b-Espinosa (picked up off waivers)
    3b-Longoria ($45)
    ss-Desmond ($3)
    of-McCutchen ($36)
    of-Pence ($25)
    of-Holliday ($25)
    util-Lawrie ($15)
    util-Krispie ($4)
    bench- Rios ($2)
    bench- Altuve ($4)

    sp-Bumgarner ($15)
    sp-Latos ($12)
    sp-Anibal ($8)
    sp-Luebke ($7)
    sp-Zimmermann ($5)
    sp-Peacock ($4, dropped)
    sp-Marcum ($1)

    rp-Motte ($7)
    rp-Bailey ($4)
    rp-Marmol ($4)
    rp-Chris Perez ($4)

    Any thoughts, suggestions or sage wisdom, Razzballers? I’m a little worried about the drain on avg from Krispie/Arencibia/Espinosa/Desmond, but other than that I feel pretty good about this team.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Principal Blackman, I think your team is balanced hitting-wise if not for the average drains… Also, I like the pitching…

  76. Hi again Grey,

    One more question … for streamers for tomorrow’s game, who’d you pick between the two starting pitchers, Seth Smith, Olivo, Figgins, and Pennington? I’m leaning toward Pennington because I’m sure to need extra games at SS … what do you think?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Enrique, Vargas… Sure, Pennington is fine…

  77. PrinceRudyNasim says:
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    gentlemen happy “opening day”…….drafted this team in a 12 Team H2H pts league in which holdsmen receive pts and we are limited to 9 starts on a regular week……

    C- Posey
    1B- Votto
    2B- Espinosa
    3B- Aramis
    SS- Andrus
    OF- Ellsbury
    OF- Hamilton
    OF- Holliday
    UT- N. Cruz
    bn- Gamel
    bn- Brantley
    bn- Aviles

    RP- Kenley
    RP- Romo the beard part2
    RP-Brothers
    SP/RP- Myers
    P-Streets
    P- Thornton

    SP- Lester
    SP- Cueto
    SP- Scherzer
    SP- Floyd
    SP- Holland
    SP- Harrison
    SP- Nicasio

    what you guys think?? thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @PrinceRudyNasim, SPs don’t look great, but I guess you went Holds strong… Hitting looks excellent, so that’s good…

      • PrinceRudyNasim says:
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        @Grey, Bro its pretty cool how much you interact with your readers……im curious who is you deep deep guilty pleasure sleeper of ’12?

        • chata says:
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          @PrinceRudyNasim,

          he likes milone

  78. Hats for Bats says:
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    @Grey, I received your coded message to go PEDS instead of grabbing Stanton in the 2nd in my 10 team H2H 7 x7 league. Miggy and Pujols went 1 and 2 so you said grab Braun #1 overall. While everyone grabbed pitchers in rounds 3-5 i kept going hitter. Here is my draft in order and tell me what I need:

    PS our benches are deep, 3 DL spots and we play with triples, OBP, holds, CG

    1. (3) Ryan Braun OF
    2. (18) Dustin Pedroia 2B
    3. (23) Alex Rodriguez 3B
    4. (38) Giancarlo Stanton OF
    5. (43) Kevin Youkilis 1B,3B
    6. (58) David Price SP
    7. (63) Dan Haren SP
    8. (78) Joe Mauer C,1B
    9. (83) Yu Darvish SP
    10. (98) Ryan Howard 1B
    11. (103) Brian Wilson RP
    12. (118) Derek Jeter SS
    13. (123) Jordan Walden RP
    14. (138) Tommy Hanson SP
    15. (143) Yoenis Cespedes OF
    16. (158) Sergio Romo RP
    17. (163) Joe Nathan RP
    18. (178) Joaquin Benoit RP
    19. (183) Francisco Liriano SP
    20. (198) Mark Melancon RP
    21. (203) Bryce Harper OF
    22. (218) Erick Aybar SS
    23. (223) Brett Myers SP
    24. (238) Tim Hudson SP
    25. (243) Carlos Lee 1B,OF
    26. (258) Carlos Zambrano SP
    27. (263) Jake Peavy SP

    • PrinceRudyNasim says:
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      @Hats for Bats, thats a pretty nice team! im loving the Aybar pick so deep into draft.

      • Hats for Bats says:
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        @PrinceRudyNasim, i grabbed Romo early to secure a hold/save combo in SF, went w/ some risk late, but Myers an SP/RP closer is great in Yahoo, Zambrano may have a comeback season in Miami, and my offense looks poised to club the hell out of the ball, assuming their hips, backs and obliques hold up. I feel a little light on speed, but SAGNOF. Plus a deep bench warranted a late pickup of Bryce Harper. MY DL should be full to start the season. But Stanton in the back end of the 4th, Grey should be pleased!

        • PrinceRudyNasim says:
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          @Hats for Bats, really nice. Your stud darling is Liriano. That lazy bum looks amazing in the spring and Mauer calling the games just makes it even better.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Team looks solid until about the 16th round… Then it looks a little all over the place…

  79. Zamboni says:
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    Was a convert to this site last year & consider myself a regular visitor. Leveraged your tiers for draft strategy but deviated a couple times when I shouldn’t have. Missed the boat on closers.

    In a league where I’m the exception as I’ve not been a regular for the last several years..

    Would love some input on team weaknesses (RP being most obvious) as I have some injury spots opening for Howard/Crawford.

    13 Team 5×5 roto (QS not W’s, 5OF, 2 UT & 1500ip cap)

    C – Wilson Ramos
    1B – Joey Votto
    2B – Danny Espinosa
    3B – Aramis Ramirez
    SS – J.J. Hardy
    OF – Jay Bruce, Nelson Cruz, Brett Gardner, Logan Morrison, Colby Rasmus
    Util – Zack Cozart, Nyjer Morgan
    BN – Carl Crawford, Ryan Howard, Aaron Hill, Rajai Davis, Brent Morel

    SP – Justin Verlander, James Shields, Brandon Morrow, Max Scherzer, Tim Stauffer
    RP – Brandon League, Kevin Gregg, Aroldis Chapman
    BN – Jhoulys Chacin, Edwin Jackson, Jonathan Sanchez

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Zamboni, Thanks! Your hitting looks very solid, your pitching looks like it could be a major issue with WHIP, ERA and saves…

  80. golfnut says:
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    i see Rios on waivers…….debating which donkey is better…..

    I have Bruce, Victorino, Gardner, BJ Upton, Bourjos……drop Bourjos for Rios? Horse a pice but could use some power.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @golfnut, Sure…

  81. zzzzzz says:
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    Better keeper/prospect that might make an impact this year? Julio Teheran or Rizzo?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @zzzzzz, Teheran

      • Hats for Bats says:
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        @Grey, given Rizzo’s woes last year, what do you think he will do in his first month up . . . a Brandon Belt type of upper decker poop (that’s where you crap in the tank)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @Hats for Bats, I think he’ll be fine when he’s called up, no one knows when that will be…

  82. pipa says:
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    I haven’t read much about Milone….what you think about him?? Who do you like more, H Alvarez orT Milone?

    • JoeC says:
      (link)

      @pipa, Oh, I love me some Henderson Alvarez. Dude’s gonna be great. Just doesn’t K anybody, but the WHIP should be quite cheerio.

  83. Skinfanjon says:
    (link)

    Thanks for the info about Nolan Arenado. He has been completely off my radar, but with a potential promotion to the bigs come mid-season-playing at Coors Field, no less- I’ll have to be sure to keep close tabs on him.

    I was REALLY excited until you mentioned that his numbers were from High-A ball, but even still, that is impressive, especially considering his ballpark. Can you profile his swing for us? Maybe some comparisons to current major leaguers in terms of swing style and skill set? Thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      He takes what pitchers give him and goes with the ball… He’s a bit more of a line drive hitter than a straight power guy… Good pitch recognition…

  84. thethrill says:
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    Grey.

    Does Delmon Young’s glorious spring give him a bump in your rankings? Would you rather own him, rasmus, pagan or grandpa torii heading into the season? Peace.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nope

  85. stumanji says:
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    Has anybody seen Uggla in spring training? Dude is an absolute steak.

    • dave says:
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      @stumanji,

      absolute steak? does that mean he’s fat? or did you typo “steal”?

      • stumanji says:
        (link)

        @dave, He is enormous, and not in a fat way. Looks like all he did in the offseason was bicep curls.

        • dave says:
          (link)

          @stumanji,

          gotcha, thanks. don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing for him. he’s always been a bit of a mini body builder, but there’s probably some line where enough is enough.

          • stumanji says:
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            @dave, Announcers were saying that he’ll get smaller as the season goes on; there’s just not enough time with games and travel to hit the gym enough to keep a body like that. Still, I just thought he was crazy jacked, especially for a 2B.

            • JoeC says:
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              @stumanji, No wonder his defense blows. ;)

  86. Jobanian says:
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    Grey,
    McCutchen/Marcum/Rios for Lester/Stubbs/Sean Marshall.
    Which side do you like?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Jobanian, McCutchen

  87. Jaker says:
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    Grey, thanks to you and your rankings I think I may have had the best draft of my career…seriously have a looksie and let me know how I can improve:
    C- McCann
    1B- Votto
    2B- Kendrick
    SS- Aybar
    3B- Longoria
    OF- Bruce, Hamilton, N. Cruz, Jennings, Rios
    MI- K. Johnson
    CI- Trumbo
    Util- Bourjos
    SP- Gallardo, MadBum, Garza, Beachy, Gio, Fister
    RP- Walden, Santos, Lidge
    (oh league is 10 team/roto)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Jaker, Yeah, your team looks very solid… Really nothing to complain about right now…

    • JoeC says:
      (link)

      @Jaker, To me, for a 10-team league, your CI and MI players are weak.

      I’d personally look to trade one of your starters for a better MI or CI bat (probably CI, since they’re harder to acquire and b/c Trumbo does not have a guaranteed starting job like KJ does).

  88. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    ****THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS****

  89. marti says:
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    hey grey what are the chances you could update your top 300 or 100

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sorry, no time… If you follow the daily notes, players to avoid should be clear…

  90. marti says:
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    ok how far do you drop wright

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      3 rounds… Take followups to the newest post…

  91. mk says:
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    Does Grandy get a lil more respect in H2H league? I don’t mind the avg as long as he fills up the stat sheet

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      He’s a bit more palatable in H2H, yeah… Take followups to the newest post…

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