Hey, Matt Holliday finally hit a homer! Please don’t tell me this is gonna be negative! Sorry, random italicized voice. If you look at Holliday’s peripheral numbers you would see a guy that is more or less in line with his norms. Now here’s the real kick in the nads. He’s K’ing and walking less. So what do I take away from that? Trouble. To me this means, Holliday is seeing more pitches to hit because AL pitchers haven’t been worried about him and rather than making them pay, Holliday’s putting the ball into play in the form of a flyout or groundout. He’s hitting a bit fewer line drives than normal so that means his average may go up a bit, but I don’t think we see the .330 we were accustomed to in Colorado. Now that he hit a homer, see if you can convince someone Holliday’s back from, uh, holiday. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Garza – 7 2/3 IP, 2 baserunners. Sonavabench! This is the problem with Garza. He instills so little confidence. We’ll see what he does next time out. I got suspicions.
Josh Beckett – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER. Even the AL pitchers I like give me agita. This is why I own Wolf, Paulino and Gaudin and have cast aside Carmona and Davies. I’m convinced, it’ll make for longer life expectancy.
Julian Tavarez – 2/3 IP, 2 ER. Maybe he should’ve screamed nicely at the ball last night.
Joel Hanrahan – Quick actin’ Acta brought Hanrahanananan in to relieve Tavarez. I’m close to calling uncle here.
Ryan Zimmerman – Another HR as he approaches his total from last year. Well, not really but it feels that way.
Jeff Weaver – 4 IP, 0 ER. Guess what, Mom? Your number one is back! What? You missed my game because you were resting up to watch Jered tomorrow? Oh. Yeah, I like his hair too.
Chris Volstad – 7 IP, 2 ER. Wasn’t an easy matchup, but pitched very well. I’m convinced the Marlins have the best scouts in baseball. They are so cheap… How cheap are they? They got rid of Josh Willingham because he was too expensive. But they always seem to put a decent product on the field.
Sean Marshall – 7 IP, 1 ER. I liked him coming into the year, but then when he didn’t pitch until the middle of the month I had to move on. Now he’s at 19 IP and a 3.32 ERA with 15 Ks on the year.
Jorge Cantu – Another HR. Where ya at, Nick Swisher?
Mike Napoli – Hit his 4th home run yesterday. This is why you ignore playing time and just put him in your catcher’s slot.
Huston Street – He might already be back in the closer’s picture. That picture obviously isn’t pretty, but SAGNOF.
John Buck – Two triples. 5 RBIs. I haven’t seen that much hustling from a guy named Buck since Midnight Cowboy.
Jesus Flores – Delivered a teabagger right in Joe Thurston’s face.
Mitchell Boggs – Has there ever been a more lawyery sounding pitcher than Mitchell Boggs. Mitchell Boggs – Attorney at Law. I can hear dear Phil Hartman’s faux sincere tone being his voice. In his 2nd game started, he fanned 9 Nationals. Granted, the batting practice pitcher does that every day before the game but still. His minor league record indicates 5th starter (on an MLB team not fantasy team) at least for this year but he’s worth stashing in an NL-only team.
Dallas Braden – 5 “scoreless” innings. Quotes because Sweeney robbed Kinsler of a three-run homer.
Max Scherzer – You can’t K as many guys as him and Kershaw and not have breakout potential.
Chris Carpenter – May be back by late-May as he ran without pain. May! (Rule of 3’s)
Eric Chavez – Headed to the DL. Looks like someone was jealous of all the attention Nomar was getting.
Juan Cruz – Save as he fills in for Soria. Soria’s supposed to come back, but that doesn’t mean he will. Remember these clubs play fast and loose with the truth.
Chorizo – Still hasn’t won a race in Milwaukee this year. Something smells fishy! Wait, that’s the seafood paella!