When Jim Edmonds was a trending topic on Twitter, I figured he died. Turns out he was just taking the Casino Bus to Cincy, though that might be a riverboat. Edmonds will continue to be a part-timer, gaining no value. Maybe one day he’ll garner 25% of a HOF vote and the interwebs will go abuzz with the travesty of it all. But Jim Rice is in! This is worst than season two of Lost! Chris Dickerson goes to the Brewers, but you knew that. You have the internet or you wouldn’t be reading this. Dickerson is currently on the DL. I like him. In a career 401 ABs, Chris Dickerson has 8 homers and 19 steals with a .277 average and a .369 OBP. In Triple-A this year, he had 3 homers and 6 steals in 43 ABs. I say the Brewers should play him, but I don’t make those decisions. Who is playing? Lorenzo Cain. In 331 ABs in Triple-A, Cain had 26 steals and a .402 OBP with a .317 average. Yes, and thank you. Carlos Gomez is due back at some point too, but he’s not good at, you know, baseball. My guess is Cain and Dickerson, when healthy, will see some sort of platoon. I’d grab Cain right now for speed, then wait to see how this dumbo pot gets stirred. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Drew Stubbs – If you thought his playing time would be squeezed by just sucking on the suckhole, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Edmonds will definitely take time from Stubbs. Heisey’s a better batter too (say that fast 45 times). BTW, Stubbs and Carlos Gomez should be on the same team. Unfortunately, it’s a track team, not a baseball one.
Travis Wood – Sent to Triple-A. You’re probably thinking this was to somehow limit his innings. Pssh to you. Wood was going to miss a start with off days, so he’s going to take a start in Triple-A then return for his next start in the majors. See, so he’s going to throw more innings. Don’t feel like you have to drop him because he was demoted. Wood said, “I’ll be right back,” a’la Matthew Lillard in Scream, then Dusty hacked off his arm.
Mike Leake – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER. I told you to lose him about a month ago. Now you’ve been Pwnson’d.
Krispie Young – Hit his 20th Krispie fly to become the first player to get to 20/20 on the year. Love Krispie, but he really shouldn’t be leading off.
Jacoby Ellsbury – He hit ninth and stole 4 bases. I say hit him 12th and let’s get 7 steals.
Chris Carter – 0-for-3 as he played in the Outer Limits of left field. Wait, wrong sci-fi show. He could be an average nightmare, but if you’re giving him a shot, you need to give him more than one game.
Mike Minor – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Pitched well, just had some real bad luck with bloop hits. I know, it’s hard to factor bad luck into your fantasy standings, but I’d hold Minor for now.
Jason Heyward – 2-for-4 with his first homer since June 17th. Pretty illustrative of how great a prospect can be and still not provide terrific fantasy value.
Alfredo Simon – 1/3 IP, 1 ER as he blew his 4th game. Shutdown Sauce is trying to point Showalter in the direction of Mike G. Now let’s see if he thinks he’s got game. (That was a triple-double pun.)
Ty Wigginton – 2-for-4 with a homer. Now has five 2-hit games in his last ten with two homers.
Edwin Jackson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. He just needed a league change. Twice. No, not really. This was vs. the Suckie-O’s. I still wouldn’t touch Edwin.
Brennan Boesch – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer in 4 games. He didn’t even start yesterday (or on Saturday), but with the homer he may start to see more time. I’m not grabbing Boesch again yet, but I’m watching him.
David Price – 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks with his 15th win. Prepare for Keith Law vs. the BBWAA, Part II: Rick Reilly Voted For Who?
Jeff Niemann – Niemann’s off to the DL with a shoulder strain. Must have been hard shouldering that huge difference in his xFIP and ERA.
Wade Davis – Also to the DL as he contracted the same dreaded shoulder strain. I blame the rhesus monkey.
Jeremy Hellickson – As I predicted yesterday, Hellickson will start today’s game. I’m Nostradumbass! The over/under for the number of starts Hellickson sees is 4.
Carlos Zambrano – 5 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners (7 BBs), 3 Ks. Cubs should now be able to trade him for Milton Bradley.
Carlos Silva – Underwent successful heart surgery to fix his abnormal heartbeat. Hopefully his heartbeat isn’t the musical act at the artery block party.
Mike Napoli – The Angels home run leader sat out his 4th of the last 5 games because of the lineup scribblings of the Sciosciapath.
Chris Johnson – 2-for-4, 2 Runs and 3 RBIs. He’s hitting .356 with 5 homers and 2 steals in 160 ABs since his call-up. You’re being silly if you don’t own him at this point.
Ryan Braun - Out with a strained wrist and was seen wearing a splint. Splendid, Splinter. He’s listed as day-to-day and I wish I could say a few days off will make everything better, but I’m concerned.
Trevor Hoffman – 1 IP, 3 ER. I have a new AC/DC song for him to enter to, Blech in Blech.