The Nats hope that Adam Dunn can teach youngsters like Elijah Dukes and Lastings Milledge the patience not to swing at every pitch or innocent bystander. Dunn will pick his teeth with the Washington Monument and quench his thirst with its reflecting pool. Adam Dunn is not going to lose any fantasy value in Washington with the Nationals. Adam Dunn could play in Petco and hit 40 home runs and strikeout 160 times. Okay, he may hit 40 home runs and only drive in 50 RBIs. I keed. In the top 40 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball, I put Adam Dunn’s projections at 80/40/85/.245/5. Those still seem about right. Adam Dunn is predictable and for that, we like him. The average is a drain. But, again, you know that going in. Unlike the Diamondbacks last year, you don’t want to put Dunn on a team with Krispie Young.
So Dunn is very predictable, but something here is less predictable. Elijah Dukes after a box of wine? Yes, but more importantly where is Dunn going to play. Jim Bowden collects five-tool outfielders like Roberto Alomar rips condoms, so he has his outfield full with Bowden Fluffers and the no-tool outfielder, Josh Willingham. So Dunn takes his blue ox over to 1st base and gives Nick Johnson his walking papers. Unfortunately, Nick Johnson probably can’t walk because he’s injured. This was Nick Johnson before the Adam Dunn signing — this is him after.