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Dee Gordon can steal 70 bases.  ‘Nuff said.  He’s Juan Pierre before he started bulking up and hitting two homers a year.  “Juan, did you eat all your spinach?”  “Yes, mother!” For some reason, I picture Juan Pierre living with the mother from Throw Momma from the Train and talking like Napoleon Dynamite.  Dee Gordon is so fast he just ran into your room, moved your last wisp of hair from the left side of your head to your right side and all you felt was a small breeze.  On Bill James’s Speed Score, he had a 9.0 in Triple-A.  Jose Reyes was the fastest in the major leagues last year at 8.4.  Frankly, the name Dee Gordon just sounds fast to me, and don’t call me Frank Lee.  He’s like a coked-out-of-his-mind Ron LeFlore on six Red Bulls.  He’s Michael J. Fox in the episode of Family Ties when he takes speed to study for a test.  He’s Alex P. Keaton’s roller chair sliding from first base to second.  So what can we expect of Dee Gordon for 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him a keeper?

The speed, doode.  Wasn’t that clear?  His walk rate isn’t going to win any awards, unless we’re talking about the “Dusty Baker You Don’t Need To Walk” award.  In 233 plate appearances last year with the Dodgers, he had 7 walks.  Burp.  In 313 Triple-A plate appearances, he had 18 walks.  More indigestion.  It’s all right; as with most speedsters, he hits the ball on the ground and runs and runs and runs and…You get the drift.  If Gordon’s ground ball rate would’ve qualified last year, he would’ve been up there with Ichiro, Andrus and Maybin (and Casey Kotchman — wow, did he get lucky with balls batted into play).  Gordon can hit 30 dribblers a year and get 40 steals.  He’s not going to give you any power (not even bulked up Juan Pierre power) or RBIs.  He’s only 150 pounds soaking wet.  He’s a string bean with legs!  The rest of the five categories, he should be fine in — say 80/0/30/.265/45.  It’s not worth spending money on taking him to an all-you-can-eat buffet, but he is worth keeping in fantasy for the right price.

55 Responses

  1. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    Grey, this is a reply to yesterday’s post, which I didn’t get to read until today.

    “Bugs Bunny numbers” is a reference to a Looney Tune cartoon first released in 1944, and then again in 1946.

    Bugs is the pitcher in the cartoon. His fastball is thrown at such a speed that it zips by the batter, and then knocks out Bugs into the the backstop as he outraces the ball in a dual role as opposing catcher. Picture Sid Finch, if you will. He had Bugs Bunny numbers.

  2. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    One more thing. I believe that the derivation of the “Bugs” in Bugs Bunny was an antediluvian reference to baseball fans, or fanatics (also sometimes referrred to as cranks.). Bugs was also a fairly common nickname for someone who was crazy as a bedbug. Consider Rube Waddell, who also had Bugs Bunny numbers, and was likely the most bizarre, eccentric ballplayer and talented player in the history of rounders.

  3. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    Dee Gordon apparently has Bugs Bunny numbers in regards to speed. When Bugs was at bat, he whacked the first ball, dashed around the bases like a whirlwind, but found a Gorilla blocking home plate. He then pulled out a pin-up poster – perhaps Rita Hayworth – distracting the Gorilla and allowing Bugs to score.

  4. Tony says:
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    all we have is Paulie talking about bugs bunny today?

    LOL

  5. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    but we love bugs bunny and Dee,s legs

  6. OaktownSteve says:
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    “Watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful, paralyzing, perfect pachydermous percussion pitch”

    -B. Bunny

    I have Dee Gordon as the 12 rated ss in my early ranks. His “looks like Wille McGee score” is off my chart.

  7. Eddy says:
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    Gordon seems like the prototypical “nab him on every team” SS of 2012 that you usually tout, Grey.

    Is this how you’re leaning with him?

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Paulie Allnuts: Yeah, I’m familiar with the cartoon, just seems odd that phrase comes from that when it’s used for pitchers and hitters. Guess could see it used for just pitchers. Or maybe it is. Actually just saw the cartoon recently, they showed it before Moneyball at The Alamo (great theater).

    @Tony: Ha

    @AL KOHOLIC: Yup

    @OaktownSteve: Oh, he’s not nearly as ugly.

    @Eddy: Depends where he’s drafted, but I do like him a lot.

  9. DC

    DC says:
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    Another great baseball column in the middle of November. You the man Grey…

  10. Tony says:
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    @Grey: personally im not going for another one of these speed only SS’s…… aclides escobar and I cant remember the other guy who was compared with him didn’t amount to crap.

    In roto he’s more valuable, but for my H2H league these guys are garbage. I’d much rather have an alexi ramirez, hardy, or maybe even a washed up jeter, yep i said it…. obviously this is if i wouldn’t snag a Hanley, tulo, etc….

  11. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @DC: Thanks!

    @Tony: Eric Young Jr. and I send our regards!

  12. Tony says:
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    @Grey: haha there was another SS tho too, who was that? escobar anddddddd…. padres guy? maybe.

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Tony: Who? EverCab? He had speed too!

  14. TheNewGuy says:
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    @Tony: As you’re around Tony, I’ll explain what I meant yesterday if you’re interested (re trading for Bruce). My league is an auction league and I meant I would give up a 1st round PROSPECT draft pick (so all last years draftees like Rendon etc would be in it) for a 4th round prospect draft pick and Bruce ($22) in return.

    So basically it’s whether Bruce at $22 is worth the downgrade from a 1st to 4th round pick. Also I’d need to offer Bruce a contract to keep him, so would probably offer him a 2 year deal ($28) or 3 years ($30). All depends how good he could be I guess, Im kinda liking the idea though, I’d get a known commodity in Bruce compared to a prospect who’s a long way off anyway, the only thing is how much of a bargain will his contract be.

  15. Steve says:
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    Any word from the delivery room?

  16. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: just started contractions. Long process, I guess.

  17. chata says:
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    pod-cast ?
    tell us about the rabbits , george .

  18. I know it involves that alien sport called “football”, but did anyone else see Brian Wilson on College Gameday the other Sat morning? Had everyone cracking up with comment on the SEC mascot matchup of ‘Backs vs. ‘Cocks.

    http://youtu.be/t6H7tlQ3hP8

  19. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @chata: We’re set to go in February/March as of right now.

    @centralohguy: Gotta love him, he’s such a gooftard.

  20. BookieBob says:
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    @Grey:

    Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Oh wait….. he’s not really DOING anything…..

    Rudy’s wife! Rudy’s wife! Rudy’s wife!

    Grey – keep us in the loop!

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    ***Rudy had his kid (well, his wife did). Baby girl — all healthy and good.****

  22. Do you think Gordon’s severe lack of patience at the plate will cost him playing time in 2012?

  23. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Dear Mr. Fantasy: No, I don’t. The Dodgers aren’t in position to be benching him, unless he’s hitting .150 through 30 games and he gets sent down.

  24. Steve says:
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    Awwww. That’s great. Well done Mr, Mrs and Miss Rudy.

    Little girls are cool. Did they know that they were having a girl?

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Yeah, they knew.

  26. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: Kick ass… so happy for the Rudies!

    Dooooooode… that Kitchen Nightmares was the most frustrating 90 minutes of television I’ve ever watched. The dad looked like a friggin’ weeble wobble, complete with vacant stare. If I was the son, I would have punched him every time I saw his dumb ass come tottering into the kitchen. “Some people have called me a meat sculptor.” You can’t write gold like that!

    Did you know the grandfather was an Australian mob boss? The father got half a mil and the son got a mil from the inheritance they mentioned. “Gentle Satan” may have to be my team name next season… or perhaps “Meat Sculptor.”

  27. chata says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus:

    yeah , they’re quick to criticize the gentle satan , but he must have
    been doing something right … especially if we judge success in
    monetary terms .
    my guess is that he knew his kid was some sort of delusional screw-up
    and just paid him to get the hell off the island , and out of the way .

  28. chata says:
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    congrats to Rudy and family .

  29. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    yee – haw !!

    hope you can offer a live chat room .

    advice ==> don’t accept any collect phone calls .

  30. Jeff from Tallahassee says:
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    Dee Gordon is a guy that I luuvv for next year.. I like your projections, but I think he can continue to hit for a high average. He had a high LD%, a high GB% (though in a small sample size), and fantastic speed so I think a relatively high BABIP is sustainable. He also usually had very high BABIP’s in the minors. So my projections are the same as yours but with a ~0.290 average which would make him a top 10 SS.. Do you think this makes sense or am I being way too optimistic?

  31. TheNewGuy says:
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    Whats the thoughts on Matt Cain. A guy I always feel is underrated and I might have a chance to get him. How much do we expect him to go for in auction next year? He’s currently at $11 in my league, so if I get him could offer him a contract of $14 for 1 yr or $17 for 2 years…some value in the 1 yr deal right?

  32. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus: I actually went there last night because curiosity is outta control for these nutcases… The son was wearing the hat! The girlfriend was there! No crazy father or mother, who was about to fall asleep with the Yelpers! I didn’t have the nerve to actually eat there do I went next door for Japanese. Yeah, I knew he was a mafia boss that’s why I told you to look up the book on Google. Best episode ever!

    @chata: sounds good

    @Jeff from Tallahassee: I think he’s definitively capable of putting up a better average but I wouldn’t count on that.

    @TheNewGuy: I’d take him for $14.

  33. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: It really was a fantastic episode. Thank you for making me watch it, as it may have slipped through a marathon viewing. I figured that’s why you told me to Google the book, but just wanted to be sure… and be sure you knew the amounts. Apparently the father blew a quarter mil other than the quarter mil he sank into the restaurant and the other quarter mil he stole from his own son, unreal! And I meant to ask if you’d been there for a burger since the makeover, but I guess you’re not confident that they’re staying up to Ramsay’s standards in his absence. Smart move.

  34. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    how many times , in a month , do you go out for dinner ?

  35. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus: Oh, yeah… I read some articles on the crazy father about the amounts and the coup de grace…. The father committed the son to a mental hospital, involuntarily. Ha!

    @chata: Not sure, why?

  36. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @mic: Totally cray. Re: That article: every reality show adds stuff that isn’t real, I’m sure that document he ripped up was fake, but the $1000 the gave the chef wasn’t back pay it was how much employers have to give fired employees according to David Blaine on the show, he mentioned that. I also saw that about, uh, Saw.

  37. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    just trying to get a better picture of your southern california life-style .

  38. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @chata: Just had two hot dogs for a dollar at Ikea if that gives you a clearer picture.

  39. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    with that stache , maybe you could hang out at home depot and pick up
    a landscaping job during the day .

    when i packed grapefruit for blue banner gold , near riverside , everyone
    would gather at the food truck and get burritos at 8 o’clock in the morning .
    that is until i got fired for being the only english-speaking laborer on the
    crew , after about 10 days .
    that was back in ’75 , but , man , those grapefruit were good .

  40. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: Ha! That’s awesome… and not a lifestyle that’s confined to just SoCal, by the way.

    Missed the bit about Gentle Satan having his son committed (several times, apparently), but can’t say I’m surprised. Also, I don’t think Daniel is wrapped to tightly… just appears that way by comparison on the show.

    Finally, yeah, umm… reality shows are as scripted as dramas, either by design or via editing. And their subjects often use the show to gain notoriety or leverage. It’s been this way for decades. Is that blogger also ready to blow the lid off The Blair Witch Project?

  41. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @chata: Ha… They fired you for speaking English but it took them 10 days to realize it?

    @Awesomus Maximus: Was it several times? Hehe… Oh, Gentle Satan, you’re the gift that keeps on giving. I feel like Gentle Satan should have a place in the Razzball glossary. A player that you draft high that is supposed to turn things around, but never does? Or maybe just Milton Bradley…

  42. chata says:
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    after the 1st week , the shop foreman invited me into his office
    for a chat …. i didn’t last long after that .
    up until then , i was a picker/packer .
    at the end of the line , the shift supervisor (also spoke english)
    took the boxes and put them on skids and moved them into the trucks .
    i think he was the guy who ratted me out .
    pay was poor (but much needed) , and it was all the grapefruit that
    you could eat .

  43. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: A portion of the book’s summary reads, “this is an unforgettable story of a son struggling to win approval from a cruel father, one who at various times had him committed to the notorious Chelmsford psychiatric hospital and denied him access to his own children.”

    So yeah, not only did he have Alan committed more than once, but it would seem he did it when Alan was old enough to have children of his own. I was trying to think of a player who represents Gentle Satan… someone who keeps lulling you back into trusting him only to beat you with horrible stats. The best I came up with was Grady Sizemore (fits the bill, and has the G.S. initials already).

  44. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @chata: Sounds like bad job, unless your only concern was avoiding scurvy.

    @Awesomus Maximus: Great call on Grady Sizemore, definitely a Gentle Satan. Just when the glossary couldn’t get more obscure, I think we’ve found a way. BTW, the Amazon reviews of the book are terrible. Could it be a Yelp/Amazon conspiracy?

  45. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    re : gentle satan show :
    the chef made a reference to the kid being a crackhead .
    exploring that angle would have made a better show , though , perhaps ,
    not for an audience of culinary devotees .

  46. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @chata: And the chef’s name was David Blaine! Yeah, there was so much in that episode. The girlfriend did seem like she was on drugs.

  47. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: Heh, if you can find a site that has positive reviews of the book, let me know. I’ll be referring to Grady as Gentle Satan henceforth… casual readers be damned! Also, I noticed that the chef’s first name was something other than David (Jeffrey? can’t remember, but it was on his white chef coat), but he went with his middle name “David” instead. Attention seeking much?

  48. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    how do you see wigginton’s time being used , including # of AB’s ??

  49. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus: I like it… Didn’t notice that about the chef…So he went by David Blaine on purpose? What a wacky group of characters.

    @chata: Depends on Howard’s return date.

  50. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    well , i hope that those who think that howard will be back before
    the all-star break are playing in my leagues .

  51. carlos marmLOL says:
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    Speed? Have you seen Dee’s?

    DEEZ NUTS

  52. Steve says:
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    Rangers sign Joe Nathan apparently. Perhaps they are resigned to losing CJ Wilson and are just going to go with all relievers next year.

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