Something tells me Leyland’s cigarettes tasted especially good today. Prince Fielder one-upped his hatred of his dad by signing with the Tigers. Now all of those Cecil fans that held onto his old jersey will look like they’re Prince fans. Detroit’s Father’s Day funtivities sure will be a tearjerker. I can’t wait for the soon-to-be-announced Soderbergh film starring Forest Whitaker and Tracy Morgan, “Home Isn’t Just A Plate I Eat Off Of.” “Viola Davis, you want juicier than The Help? Well, how about keeping the peace amongst the Fielders!” That’s her agent talking. I like how the Tigers are exploiting the DH rule by employing three of them. Bud Selig, “Hey, no fair!… No, I didn’t say no hair! This is not a toupee!” Now it’s up to the Tigers if they want to hold true to Fielder’s aptronym (Word of the Day!) or they want it to be an ironic-onym, pushing him to DH. My guess is Swiggy will be on the move to third base. Blasphemy for real baseball, but hallelujah for fantasy baseball. I imagine even if Swiggy is egregious during Spring Training at 3rd, he will still see enough games during the course of the first couple of weeks to gain 3rd base eligibility pretty quickly. After Fielder’s first 0-for-10 at DH, the Tigers will put him at first saying he’s more comfortable playing the field, er, um.
For projections in the top 10 for fantasy baseball, I had Swiggy at 105/32/115/.325/3 and Fielder at 90/35/110/.275. Honestly, I’m not sure how much I could change either projection. Cabrera had V-Mart behind him when I made those projections, so it wasn’t like he was hitting in front of Nadir Bupkis. On the other hand, I did think Fielder would go to the Nationals and the NL, so that would’ve suppressed his stats a smidge. I’m moved him up in the top 10 and I adjusted his stats to 100/37/115/.280. Maybe now Fielder will dust off the 50-homer plateau just to spite his Papa Bear. I do not use the term “bear” loosely.