Maybe the fuel you need to burn the desire deep in your belly to be a better ballplayer comes from a fresh start. Maybe you need people to tell you you can’t do something before you can do something. Maybe this is how Morgan Freeman really talks and not just in voiceovers. Nyjer Morgan is going to get that fresh start in the city by the bay. (Green Bay, but whatever.) This throws a bit of a quagmire into the centerfield situation. If I am indeed using the word ‘quagmire’ correctly. Roenicke said it’s CarGo Lite’s job to lose. I think Melvin is lying to us or himself. Gomez is bad at — hmm, how do I put it? — baseball. I think the ABs break down to Morgan getting 350 and CarGo Lite getting 200. If I had to bet on one, I’d bet on Nyjer. This doesn’t mean I think he’s terrific either. He was caught stealing 17 times last year. That’s A to the Trocious. Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:
Roger Bernadina – He’s not at mixed league value yet, but, with the clearing of Morgan, Bernadina now only has to beat Ankiel. Oh, bee tee dubya, Ankiel’s not good. I could see Bernadina being one of those guys that goes from not being on anyone’s team to being on everyone’s team by the end of the year.
Mat Latos – Scratched on Saturday due to a sore shoulder, but may not go to the DL. So far in the Spring Training-thingie-ma-whosie-thing that is going on, Latos has given up 10 earned in 10 innings. I was not out on a limb when I said you should not draft him in any league this year. Lots of people were saying this. If you decided to not heed the words of Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario (Grey Albright, FML), then you probably won’t listen to me now, but you really should try and sell Latos for sixty-five cents on the dollar. You goofed by drafting him and he’s gonna be dirty, dust balls this year. At some point in the next two months, you’re gonna have to DL him for 60+ days. I’m being serious.
Clint Barmes – Out for a month or two with a broken bone in his hand. Luckily, the Astros have someone who can hit just as well as Barmes with a broken hand, Tommy Manzella.
Tommy Hunter – Will miss over a month with a strained groin. Looks like we won’t be seeing his O face for a while. (Speaking of O faces, I hooked up with my first single Mom recently. All I kept thinking of was Tidwell telling Jerry Maguire not to shoplift the pooty from a single mom. Okay, that wasn’t all I kept thinking of. The thing that kept running through my mind was how a child came out of there. Was like this thing that I had thought of in only one way my whole life suddenly was something else. Anyhoo!)
Homer Bailey – Will miss two starts on the 15-day DL with a shoulder impingement. At some point between ranking the top 80 starters and now, I grew sick of Bailey. Has he ever strung more than three good starts together in his career? Kinda rhetorical.
Mark Trumbo – Hit his 6th homer of the spring. You heard it here first, Kendrys is getting Pipp’d out!
Brandon McCarthy – Named the 5th starter in Oakland. As of right now, not really much here outside of AL-Only leagues. He could scratch above a 6 K/9 and around a 4.25 ERA if things break right. Or he could get injured again and be out for the season. I believe McCarthy is just relieved he wasn’t traded to the Reds.
Aaron Heilman – Was named the D-Backs fifth starter. I picture he’ll have appeal for match-ups. For what it’s Wuertz, so far in the spring, Heilman’s been getting emulsified.
Eric Young Jr. – Was optioned to the minor league camp. All my emoticons are at half-mast. He’ll come back at some point and do what he was born to do, but for now you have to cut bait.
Mike Leake – Will take over one of the rotation spots freed up by Cueto and Bailey’s DL stints. As mentioned in the top 80 starters, I’m not a fan of Leake. No Ks, too many walks. Maybe in a few years, but right now he’s an avoid like The Noid.
Matt Young – Only interesting for those in NL-Only leagues, Young made the team and he has 40 steal speed. Right now, he’s just depth, but he’s worth keeping an eye on in case McLousy returns to form or if there’s an injury.
Joe Nathan – Will start the season as the closer, but this can change at a moment’s notice. Keep cuffing Capps. (Alliteration in lieu of wit!)
Ryan Doumit – Snyder might have to open the season on the DL, so Doumit could see everyday ABs. I’d say he could run with the job, but that would likely injure him too. Maybe he can walk with the job.
Brad Lidge – Will open the season on the DL due to shoulder pain. Shocker! Exclamation Point Police, “That’s sarcastic, we get it. A period would’ve conveyed the same.” I’d grab Madson and hope he can suppress his Cuddle Boy tendencies. Contreras, the AARP Man of the Year, could also see save chances. Charlie Manuel said, “I’ve had more closers than a dog has fleas. Now watch as I smash my thumb with a hammer so I forget about my toothache.” BTW, Charlie Manuel’s old timey-isms made their way to the fantasy baseball team name generator.
Donnie Murphy – Looks like the Marlins went an entirely different way than I thought they would. Bonifacio will be the super futility man and Donnie Murphy, who sounds like a Boston police officer — C’mon, Murph! We ain’t causing no harm! — will be the 3rd baseman. He’s useless in all leagues that needs things like hitting and whatnot.
Yunesky Maya – Sent down to Triple-A. When Riggleman was asked why he chose Gorzelanny and not Maya, he said, “We’re trying to tire the opposing coach when filling out the scorecard.”
Chris Dickerson – Weird move by the Brew Crew to trade Dickerson to the Yankees for Mitre. Unfortunately, any sneaky sleeper value Dickerson once had goes out the window. He’s not the type of player the Yankees give any significant playing time to, i.e., he’s a good player with no name recognition.
Bronson Arroyo – Has mono. Too bad his guitar playing is in stereo.