Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is, the Rangers could only get one hit against Willis. That’s right, Dwyck. Dontrelle Willis went six and one-third, allowing only three baserunners and K’ing five. The Rangers came into the game hitting lefties extremely well (.291) with Kinsler at .460 and Michael Young at .372. So let’s all get jazzamatazzed, right? Well, I don’t hold the same excitement. His story definitely has the Lubitsch touch, but his last start was four earned in four and two-thirds against the Twins. Dontrelle’s opponents will be tough, his recent history has been extremely poor and a 5/4 K/BB is poor. There’s got to be at least a half dozen guys better on your waivers to take a chance on. Let someone else buy a ticket for the D-Train. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
James Shields – 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER, zero run support. If only they batted Sonnanstine third…
Josh Outman – 6 IP, 4 baserunners, 0 ER, 6 Ks. His Ks are solid, but he walks too many guys and right now he’s getting a bit lucky with how many guys he’s leaving on base. Then throw in the fact that he pitches for the A’s and their A’nemic offense. Outman shouldn’t be in, man, outside of AL-Only leagues.
Shairon Martis – 6 IP, 5 ER. Yeah, should’ve known better than to trust a Nats pitcher. I’d love to say stick with him, but I don’t trust him enough; his walks are too ugly. He may be 5-0 on the year, but he could be 5-5 by July.
Elijah Dukes – To the DL with a strained hamstring. So far the Bowden Fluffers have appropriately sucked.
Orlando Hudson – Day-to-day with a bruised shoulder. Isn’t that Osso Bucco? Or is that braised?
J.A. Happ – I know a J.T. Hagman was a J.R. The Braves have a G.A. But J.A.? Those initials don’t go together. They’re like N.G. He’s replacing Chan No in the rotation and I like him in 12 team or deeper for match-ups. This Saturday against the Yanks isn’t a great one though.
Gerardo Parra – 2-for-4 and hitting well since call-up. Sometimes guys just breakout for no good reason. Parra’s got room to play if he’s hot. Could be what Fowler looked like in April.
Stephen Drew – 0-for-3, batting .203 on the seaosn. It sure would be nice if he turned it on because the ‘Backs desperately want to believe in him as they bat him second, third and fourth on most nights.
Josh Johnson – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER. Surreal how poorly my Win Karma is this year. Johnson was bested by Jon Garland, who has more Wins on the season than him too. Do I need to do some Angel Heart voodoo shizz? A Jobu doll? Matt Palmer? Please, send me a signal. Throw me a line.
Kelly Johnson – 3-for-4 with a steal as he batted in the six hole. A) Johnson’s a streaky hitter. B) He claims to prefer hitting lower in the order. C) There’s no C.
Ian Stewart – 0-for-4 with three Ks. It helps that Atkins has been dreadful, but Stewart needs to make it count.
Nolan Reimold – 1-for-3 and batting an empty .250. Same dealio as Stewart. He has the chance, but he needs to do something with it.
Joe Mauer – 7th homer of the year. Obviously, he’s a cyborg. Or stole Soto’s soul.
Pedro Feliz – 9 for his last 18. Currently on one of those Happy streaks.
Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 4 ER. Not his best start of the year. The glass half-filled with Cueto Kool-Aid points out he didn’t walk anyone. Glass half-empty, he gave up two homers.
Colby Rasmus – Has hit two homers in two nights, three homers in the last five games and he had one homer rained out the other day. Now if he can string together more than one hit in a game, we’ll be all set.
Rick Ankiel – Set to return. If he’s on waivers anywhere because of an impatient owner, he’s worth a pickup. Remember Ankiel wasn’t exactly lighting the world on fire when he was playing, so don’t get overzealous with who you drop.
Felix Hernandez – F-Her in the Big A and it didn’t work out well as he allowed 6 runs in 5 and two-thirds.
Barry Zito – 8 IP, 2 ER. I admit it, I started him last night. And I will again in his next start against the M’s. From there, I’ll reevaluate.
Scott Hairston – HR yesterday as he went 2-for-2 and batted third. I almost picked him up on Monday, but I was banking on a lot of steals against Chris Young and played speed heavy. (I came out with Nadir Bupkis.)
Bill Hall – H.A. double hockey sticks started at 3rd and went 1-for-4 with two Ks as Gamel combed his hair on the bench.
Brian Bannister – 6 IP, 5 ER. There’s the Bannister we know and don’t love.
Casey Blake – Hit his ninth homer yesterday and is batting .283 with 26 RBIs. He’s out-hitting a lot of cornermen right now.
Noah Lowry – Scheduled to undergo surgery this week to have a rib removed from his left side. I know I’m not ordering the prime rib at Lawry’s any time soon. Also, if I was Joe Nathan, I’d be very careful.