From human trafficker to Rangers fifth starter, Alexi Ogando throws gas. (Maybe that’s how he got caught trafficking humans. He was mule-ing a human in his colon and accidentally threw gas. Not sure.) I say, mootie lootie doo to all of that, which means nothing, though it might in another language. Once an outfielder, but Ogando’s no herbathrowdite. Ogando tops out at 97 MPH, strikes people out and throws ground balls. That’s a yes, please and thank you. Unfortunately, he has a few things going against him. His home park, his control and he has no experience starting in the major leagues. In AL-Only leagues, I’d absolutely take a flyer to see if he can run with the rotation spot and force his way into the rotation even after Hunter returns. In mixed leagues, I’m taking a wait and see approach. In general, getting roofied is no fun, but it feels like it hurts more in April. Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:
Mat Latos – Will start the year on the DL. Thanks a Latos, Mat! That’s you. I told you yesterday to trade him for sixty-five cents on the dollar. I might lower that to fifty-five cents today. It could be thirty-five cents by mid-April.
Chase Utley – Your first girlfriend says to you she’s ready to put out, but there’s no timetable for when. It’s not going to happen. Your friend works at Senor Frog’s and is in charge of hosing down drunk Spring Breakers, says they’ll hire you but there’s no timetable for when. You’re never working there. You see how no timetable works? Okay, the Phillies have no timetable for Utley’s return.
Alex Gordon – You know what would be nice? If he actually hit the ball when games mattered. I’d love to see that. Right now, I have John Bowker, Delwyn Young and Sean Rodriguez for you. Three guys that hit 6 homers in last year’s Spring Training. For all of last year, Sean-Rod hit 9, Young hit 7 and Bowker hit 5. Year before, Mike Wilson (no idea who this is; might be Dennis the Menace’s neighbor), Mike Jacobs, Mark Teahen and Wilson Betemit were killing the ball in spring training.
Carlos Beltran – Mets said he’ll be ready for the start of the season. Mets also said he’ll only miss week or so when he was first injured two years ago. Guess the emphasis was on the ‘or so.’ There will be no point when I’m excited about Beltran again in his career. You can own him, maybe I’ll own him, but he’s a slide into second away from a 60-day DL stint.
Max Scherzer – 2 1/3 IP, 11 ER. It’s the spring, it should be ignored, but it’s a tad disconcerting to me since Scherzer was so bad at the beginning of last season that he ended being demoted in May. Hopefully, it’s not a harbinger. Or in the German Scherzer’s case, Herr Binger.
Armando Galarraga – The Diamondbacks lied; Galarraga won the last starting spot over Heilman. May not have helped that Heilman was torched on Sunday. I’m sure this is not the last change that occurs to this rotation. I wouldn’t touch Galarraga outside of NL-Only leagues unless he’s pitching in Petco.
Matt Treanor – Sent to the Royals for cash. I’m hoping it was less than a hundred dollars. This leaves fantasy owners only able to get pissed off about Torrealba starting over Napoli.
Michael Pineda – Named the fifth starter for the Mariners. Here’s my Michael Pineda fantasy. Don’t stare directly into it, you’ll go blind.
J.J. Putz – Should be ready to go for the start of the season. Putz’s stiffness sure went away fast.
Laynce Nix – Beat Bernadina for a roster spot on the Nats. Layme.