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Hey, Royals, you’re stupid.  Call up, Mike Moustakas.  Okay, with that out of the way, let’s figure out who Moustakas is and will be.  Last year, he spent time at Double and Triple-A.  Not at the same time, that would be some Multiplicity shizz.  In 484 ABs, he hit 36 homers and batted .322.  As they say in Moustakas’ home country, “Wow.”  (He’s from L.A.)  Then they would throw a glass into the fireplace and spray some Windex.  This past year saw Moustakas named the Texas League Player of the Year, which is more prestigious than the Koo Koo Roo Employee of the Year, but only barely.  As his skipper said, “(Moustakas) missed the first 16 games of the season and by midseason he was leading the league in all the categories.  And where’s Gilligan?!”  It’s nice, but what can we expect of Mike Moustakas for 2011 fantasy baseball?

Assuming the peasant Royals get their act together, Moustakas should get a chance to break camp with the club, but will probably be a Mike Stanton in 2010 type call-up.  I don’t think we see him until June 1st at the earliest.  If he breaks camp with the team, he’ll be a quality sleeper in mixed leagues, 12 or deeper.  But really that’s only true because of his position.  If he were in the outfield, I’d tell you to ignore him in most mixed leagues.  Best case scenario, 50/17/75/.280 in 350 at-bats.  Now his extended family in Astoria, Queens would probably say, “Wow.”  (Astoria, Queens is in New York.  They say wow there too.)  Then they would take the Nia Vardalos poster off the wall, wrap it around a rotating shawarma and take turns kissing it.  Actually, now that I write that projection it seems on the high side.  I’d compare him to Pedro Alvarez in 2010 for power, but he will give a better average.  At the age of 22, Moustakas is set to either be the Royals 2nd 3rd base casualty since Alex Gordon or the 1st “Thank God He Didn’t Turn Out To Be Alex Gordon,” 3rd base prospect since Alex Gordon.

  1. Steve says:
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    How can you go wrong with a guy who sounds like delicious Middle Eastern food?

    Throw in the fact that his name looks very much like moustache, and I think we’re on to a winner.

  2. Ben says:
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    I thought he sounded more like a Rocky Mountain cuisine…. Moose Tacos.

  3. Eddy says:
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    Moustakas (or “moistened” as my iPhone seems to want to correct) is someone that I’m going to have to target next year at some point because I can’t keep Wright in 2012. My question: would you rather draft him and hold onto him, therefore ensuring him a spot on my team (and have him on the bench for a few months) or pick him up later and have a chance at losing him? It’s a pretty competitive 12 man h2h keeper where we keep 4 every year.

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: If he’s half as satisfying as Chili Davis, we’re in business.

    @Ben: Nice!

    @Eddy: The auto correct drives me crazy. Why can’t you shut that off? Or can you? I wouldn’t want him on my bench.

  5. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:
    You can by going to Settings>General>Keyboard. I’ve thought about turning it off several times but I figure it actually helps me more than it hurts. Though I can see how writing entire posts would make you hate the damn thing. Thanks for the advice!

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Eddy: Oh, man. Now that I know how to do it, you’re right, not sure if I want to.

  7. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:
    Finally someone understands my constant turmoil! I say leave it on. Think about it like this–how many times have you willingly turned off spellcheck on Word?

    Exactly.

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Eddy: Spellcheck would be okay, but this thing changes the spelling when I’m spelling something right, right?

  9. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:

    No, it does something even worse.

    It assumes what you’re going to write.

  10. emc squared says:
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    Just make sure you don’t accidentally send the message when it auto-corrects. My girlfriend was sending out a text to her friends “who wants to see avatar in 3D?” and it corrected to “who wants an inadequate threesome?”

  11. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Eddy: Yup

    @emc squared: That’s hilarious… Did she get any takers?

  12. Steve says:
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    @Grey:

    C Mike Piazza
    1B Mike Lamb
    2B Cookie Lavagetto
    3B Mike Moustakas
    SS Callix Crabbe
    LF Chet Lemon
    CF Chili Davis
    RF Daryl Strawberry
    DH Tim Salmon
    SP Catfish Hunter
    RP Mark Hamburger

    Tasty-sounding lineup.

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Chet Lemon with Tim Salmon is a lovely combination.

  14. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Wait until Clayton Dill gets called up. Then we’ll really have something.

  15. Stephen says:
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    @Steve: Mark Hamburger is actually a son of one of my parent’s friends.

  16. Stephen says:
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    @Steve: Ha! The year before I joined my 20 team league, a manager traded A-Rod for a Potbelly’s sandwich.

  17. Steve says:
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    @Grey: And speaking of food, Bartolo Colon looking at a comeback.

    And Nats interested in Uggla too, apparently. Imagine him and Dunn on the same team! Oh – I did have them on the same team. Worked out OK.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Colon needs a cleanse. Uggla’s a terrible fit for that team and would give the newest post trouble unless he’s traded to the Marlins.

  19. GopherDay says:
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    @Grey: Yeah, keeping up with Uggla I was *very* relieved the Rockies considered Uggla “out of their price range.” EY2, here we go!!!

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