Mike Gonzalez is now the closer of the Braves. Right? Right…. Kinda. He’s going to be closing games when he’s available. Cox may take it easy on him since he’s coming back from Tommy John surgery. Gonzalez was not rushed through rehab, so that’s a good thing. Barring an injury, there’s no reason why Gonzalez can’t save 20 games this year. (<—– That’s my projections for Gonzalez.) Soriano might grab another couple and Acosta might snatch a few more. Mike Gonzalez is not some schmohawk that just turned up on the Braves roster. He was an effective closer on the Pirates. He can be again. If Ryan Franklin and Salomon Torres can earn saves, then goddamnit, so can Mike Gonzalez. Okay, now go pick him up. As if he’s still on waivers in any league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball yesterday:
Carlos Zambrano – Left the game with an apparent injury to his shoulder. Maybe it was the 3.7 million pitches he’s thrown in the last year or two.
Jeremy Guthrie – Guess his line. Seriously. I’ll wait. *taps foot* Okay, I’ll tell you. 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 1 BB, 8 Ks, no decision.
Russell Branyan – Do I have to mention him? People know what’s here, right? Three Outcome Dude — HR/K/BB.
Oliver Perez – **Writing this before the game** 6 IP, 7 Ks, 2.00 WHIP, 6.00 ERA **okay, back** I was high on Ks, but right on for IP, WHIP and ERA. I have to say, I didn’t feel confident about this one because he’s so erratic. I started him in one league where I’m hurting for pitching and now I’ve dropped him for Campillo (whose next start is against the M’s).
James Loney – Hit HR yesterday, now hitting over .390 for June. He still yawnstipates me.
Kevin Kouzmanoff – Sore back that could land him on the DL. Headley started at 3rd and hit a HR. Yo, Kouz, you’ve been Pipp’d. (Now Headley just needs to start another 2129 straight games. Just in case, we should call him Biscuit Pants.)
Barry Zito – 5 R in 2 IP. SI.com informs us he’s not provided adequate value for his large free agent contract. Thanks, SI.com. I guess it could be worse – they could’ve put him on the cover and jinxed him. That prevented a maple bat from shattering and slicing his guitar strumming hand. Hey, Zito — stubble is for winners!
Johnny Damon – He’s hitting .433 in 67 AB since June 1st. Cust kayin’.
Homer Bailey – Back to the minors. I have a vision of what I’m going to write in March of ’09, “Don’t draft Homer Bailey. Way too risky. BTW, I love these new flying cars.”
Chase Utley – He is 0 for his last 20. Just as disturbing, a cat in Philadelphia was left stranded in a tree as a little girl cried for help. We still believe in ya, Chase. It’s just a bad week, Champ, right?
Nomar Garciaparra – Hit a home run and is due to be back next week as the Dodgers SS. Sounds like everything’s going right for Nomar, but he looked glum after the game. When asked why, he said, “I forgot to make Mia lunch. She’s gonna kill me.” Aw, Nomar. That’s a sad emoticon for you.
Geovany Soto – Hitting .213 since June 1. Next thing you know he’ll be picking a fight with Carlos Zambrano.
Hard Rock Cafe – It was announced that a Hard Rock Cafe will run a restaurant in the Yankee outfield. Can’t wait to hear this guy jam there.
Sidney Ponson – The Yanks just signed him. Hey Bawston, I got your Colon right here!