You smell that? No, not your armpits. That’s Opening Day. The real thing this time! I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee. I love you! I want to touch baseball’s boobies! They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies! I am gushing over baseball’s boobies! Grey, um, you’re writing this down; this isn’t your inner monologue. Good call, Random Italicized Voice. Embarrassing. Speaking of embarrassing, how about that monstrosity just past the Marlins’ outfield fences? It’s a passive-aggressive ode to a fan base and city that is loathed by Marlins’ senior management. “You Marlin fans – all you care about are pretty colors. You don’t even appreciate the ode to Miro!” That was what the Marlins president said after he called Marlin fans stupid. (The last part isn’t a lie. You can use Google, if you don’t believe me. I understand; the Internet made me cynical too. I blame you, Al Gore!) Oh, that’s all assuming you can see the outfield fences. Where’d they put the center field fence? Cuba? It’s like they combined Petco with AT&T Park. They have Cuban raftees floating just past the outfield fences. You got humidity blowing in, fences 28 miles off the coast of Key West, my beautiful Giancarlo Stanton, whose boobies I’d gush over too, and now I got agita. We should suggest in the comments what to call this pink and aqua-blue hot mess the Marlins call a stadium. I got one idea, Unicornco. Anyway, here’s what else happened yesterday in 2012 fantasy baseball:
Matt Holliday – 0-for-5 as he hit third. Looks like that’s a big Pujols to fill.
Rafael Furcal – 3-for-5, 1 RBI (which isn’t a Ron Ben-Israel) and a steal. This is something I’ve noticed in my *covers mouth* years covering fantasy baseball. Old players get off to fast starts. I think it has to do with them not being tired of the grind of the long season yet. Their legs are still fresh. You’ll see, Alfonso Soriano will start the year fast, Torii Hunter will start hot, etc. etc. etc. There should be a name in the glossary for these old players that start hot. Suggest in the comments. Thank you.
David Freese – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs, 1 Run. A nationally televised game and Freese turns into Babe Ruth. I will now call you, The Primetime Kid.
Kyle Lohse – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 2 Hits, 3 Ks. Last year, his April ERA was 1.64 and his May ERA was 2.57. Okay, so there’s worse flyers for the early months of the season.
Hanley Ramirez – 0-for-4 and looked about as good at third, giving away at least two base hits. Also, Reyes and Ramirez are really going out of their way to bring in a new Miami crowd. Miguel Olivo’s probably soooo jealous.
Josh Johnson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 4 Ks. On the bright side, he didn’t get injured.
Andrew Bailey – Underwent successful surgery in Cleveland, then visited the Jock and Skoal Hall of Fame, which features a glob of Lenny Dykstra’s used dip and an extracted mouth lesion from Terry Francona.
Alfredo Aceves – For a man that invented the sandwich wrap, Bobby Valentine is totally crackers. Yesterday, he announced that Aceves would be the Sawx closer. Let’s see, a pitcher who would be better in relief is in the rotation (Bard), a pitcher who saved games last year is in middle relief (Melancon) and a pitcher who whined that he wanted to start (Aceves) is the closer. To recap — Huh, what, oh, okay, wait, what? Valentine said Aceves would see the save if the Sawx were leading in the first game. He didn’t say anything about game five or ten or twenty. It may be needlessly nitpicky, but I think there’s something between the lines there. Obviously, Aceves is the first one to own right now, but I wouldn’t drop Melancon if you have room.
Kyle Farnsworth – Diagnosed with an elbow strain that’s “not a major concern.” And I’m getting an elbow strain from making the “jerking off” motion after hearing them say it’s “not a major concern.” The Rays can spin this any way they like, but a pitcher with an elbow strain in April is a major concern. I wouldn’t hesitate to grab Peralta, though the Rays are saying they may use a committee. Is anything done better by committee besides jerk seasoning, which is flavor by committee?
Sean Rodriguez – Named the Rays starting shortstop…. And he’ll probably be benched at least twice a week unless he becomes a hot schmotato.
Jed Lowrie – Astros’ GM said he would wait until Friday to decide on whether or not he was going to DL Lowrie. Sounds like even the Astros’ GM doesn’t own Lowrie in fantasy.
Devin Mesoraco – Dusty announced Hanigan would be the Opening Day starter. Well, that stinks, but to take the sting away, Votto is buying a Lamborghini for the first 2,000 fans in attendance.
Hector Santiago – Robin Ventura has still said nothing about who’s the actual closer in Chicago. This is ridiculous. The season’s started already, name someone! No wonder Nolan Ryan beat the crap out of him. As of right now, I’d go with Matt Thornton, Hector Santiago, Addison Reed and Jesse Crain. I have little to no confidence in that order. So, as Al Pacino would scream at me, , “No, those closers are out of order!”
Brandon Belt – When Bochy lifted his giant melon out of bed yesterday, two things were on his mind. First, I want to make Grey happy by having Brandon Belt make the Opening Day roster. Second, I wonder if they make back support but for heads. Can’t help on the second, but thank you and your giant cantaloupe for the first one. Here’s what I said in the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball, “If Belt were guaranteed everyday playing time, Belt is capable of 25/10/.280, which would have him poised to be a top 5 1st baseman next year. The problem is Bruce Bochy has a gigantic head, but a very small brain. Hopefully he realizes Belt ties the entire Giants outfit together. 2012 Projections: 70/24/80/.280/10 (in 500 ABs)” And that’s me getting very excited about Belt! He still has great promise for a better tomorrow. This message was brought to you by the Committee to Elect Grey Albright for Public Office and Stop Whoever Keeps Vandalizing the L Out of the Word Public.
Josh Outman – Hits the DL after he injured himself vomiting. I thought only the players’ wives got injuries like that. Anna Benson, “Finally a pitcher who understands me!”
Grey, speaking of hot starts, you are on fire tonight (I’m in Hawaii until tomorrow so it’s still early). Typing after a couple of fruity drinks on an iPad so I’ll stop while I’m ahead. Aloha, but I still hate bobby v and robin for screwing up my to. The stupid iPad doesn’t let you type SAGNOF.
@Schmohawks Bob, Have a good trip!
Hey Grey – Four year blog-stalker, first time poster. I’m in an auction keeper (12 team 5×5, custom rosters but you’ll get the drift) and am feeling pretty wishy-washy on my team. See any glaring holes? Loves/Hates? Hopes/Aspirations? Thanks!
C
Devin Mesoraco
1B
Adrián González
2B
Jason Kipnis
3B
Ryan Zimmerman
SS
Zack Cozart
IF
Danny Espinosa
OF
Drew Stubbs
OF
Colby Rasmus
OF
Cameron Maybin
OF
Alex Gordon
Util
Ike Davis
BN
Elvis Andrus
BN
Álex Ríos
DL
Carlos Quentin
SP
Brandon Beachy
SP
Félix Hernández
SP
Ubaldo Jiménez
RP
Brian Wilson
RP
Jordan Walden
RP
Andrew Cashner
P
Matt Capps
P
Sean Marshall
P
Matt Thornton
BN
Daniel Hudson
BN
Mike Adams
BN
Koji Uehara
@SmooveM, Pitching looks a bit stronger than it needs to be and the hitting looks a little light on power and high on speed… Team doesn’t look terrible though…
Don’t be too hard on Alfredo – his numbers were decent last year, and did I mention he has SP eligibility?
And ease up on the Marlins home run thingy. It’s just a bit of fun isn’t it?Save the energy for the important things. Like how the f*** does Kyle Lohse pull off that s***?
@Bob – Aloha Bob, I can almost see you from here. Are you going to ride the Banzai Pipeline?
@Steve, Regarding the SP eligibility; not in CBS
@Steve, I don’t know how Aceves managed such good numbers. His xFIP was 4.77, and his Ks were not great. Well, I guess I know how he ended up with those numbers- his HR/FB rate keeps going down. But I don’t know how he did that, and if I did, I would be doing it myself.
@Steve, Marlins dead last with a pitiful runs scored of 85 in spring training. I know spring training doesn’t mean anything, but …not shocking that they didn’t hit–again.
This is pretty unimaginative, but the best marlins park name I can come up with this late is “FishCo.”
I seem to remember a post a couple of weeks ago on the new park that assured me that Stanton would still hit a million bombs this year. Can’t remember if it was Rudy or someone else who authored it. Hopefully last night was a fluke, but I’m feeling a little less awesome about my 2nd round selection of Giancarolo in my last draft.
@letsgobravos, Ditto. My opening combo of Puhols and Giancarlo seems a bit diminished.
Had my finger on Furcal as a streamer for the day, then picked up some other schmohawk. Gotta polish off that Chrystal ball real soon.
@letsgobravos, That park plays like the polo grounds..I’m thrilled that I passed on gargantua in every draft I was in. I’m not a big fan of Adam Dunn circa 2009 in the 2nd round and certainly not hitting in that home park.
@The save chaser, the difference being that the Polo grounds had a left field fowl pole under 280′ from home plate, whereas Unicornco left field foul pole measures between 330′-340′, depending on the source. So it doesn’t reward pull hitters either. I wish I knew more about the park before drafting.
@Paulie Allnuts, So maybe gargantua won’t have that massive breakout we’re expecting then…dang..grabbed him in 28th pick in my 16 teamer, seemed nice value at the time.
@TheNewGuy, Maybe not. In any case, he will have to be a road warrior. Mid-season trade to Coors Field would be nice.
On a devious note, maybe I can quickly trade him before my league partners catch this article:)
@Paulie Allnuts, we see you
@AL KOHOLIC, I know. You guys don’t miss a thing!
@Paulie Allnuts,
i’ll take him off your hands .
shoot me an offer .
@chata, Ha! Unless you have a handle I don’t recognize, I don’t think that you are in my league. But I will stick with Giancarlo nevertheless…
@letsgobravos, I second FishCo, assuming it really does play as a pitcher’s park.
Old players that start off hot – how bout “Early Bird Specials”
I don’t have any suggestions for the new Miami park, but with that color scheme I fully expected Max Headroom to appear on the Jumbotron as the new PA.
@Aaron Oz, “Early Bird Specials” has nice double meaning that’s gonna be hard to beat.
@Aaron Oz, Nice!
@Aaron Oz, got my vote! (for what it’s worth…)
@Aaron Oz, Solid entry, I’ll run it by Rudy.
@Grey, “There should be a name in the glossary for these old players that start hot.”
How about “fizzler pull and deal” (not to be confused with twizzler pull and peal)?
Or a veterspin because you invariably have to trade these veterans before they become useless in a few weeks…
If these are awful, just take me out to the back yard and put me out of my misery like an old dog that chews his own leg and chases invisible rabbits…
@Bill_Buckner, one last suggestion: April fools – older players that prank you by making you drop someone useful for them only to have them return to their suckitude in a few weeks.
@Bill_Buckner, April Fools is pretty funny.
@Bill_Buckner, April Fools isn’t terrible.
@Bill_Buckner, Ha yeah like that too. Simple yet effective.
@Bill_Buckner,
i like April Fools ,
but it seems like it applies more to owners who draft those older guys .
Think the best performance from opening night was saved for the end from what I saw. Jason Motte throwing 99mph gasoline to strike out Hanley, then some 92mph change/split thing to K Stanton…flat out NASTY.
Glad I have him on one of my teams this year (emoticon). Could rack up the saves in STL.
@TheNewGuy, Yup
Some schmohawk dilemmas:
Furcal, Alcides or Pastornicky?
Moreland, Ibanez or Luke Scott?
@DrEasy, Pastronicky for now…Moreland…
Grey have Minor and Holland as my no 6/7 starters in my 10 team league (still trying to trade a pitcher for a bat). 1600 innings cap, obviously my other guys are the throw em out each start type (MadBum, Cain, Lester etc). But how would you approach starting Minor and Holland early on, save them just for favourable matchups? Would that mean pass on Holland first up (CWS) and pitch Minor (@NYM)?
@TheNewGuy, Sounds about right…
I’m thinking ‘Creaky Spring Chickens’ but I’v no copyright claim if someone wants to play around with it.
@ritzer, Not crazy about it…
Ackley and R Howard
for
Cuddyer, Dunn, Aviles
Which side do you take?
@Broseph, Cuddyer
My vote is for May-December shmomance. At first you don’t care what others think that you’re in bed with Rafael Furcal but you know it’s inappropriate and creepy, and can’t last.
And @Grey, you are trending nicely towards receiving that celebratory round of belts for you and your friends if Brandon (The Baby Giraffe) Top 5 1B in 2013 hits 90% of your 2012 projections in 4 categories. And that’s me quoting my original comment.
I have Farnsworth, Peralta is taken, pick up McGee and drop Pestano?
@The Miracles, re: Belt — Ha! re: May-December — Not crazy about it… Sure lose Pestano…
for the older players how about “hot flashers”
soriano may be good now but we all know hes just a hot flasher and will turn back into alf soriano by early may
got nothing on the new park
16 team trade question league count hlds
i give gallardo and pineda i get kershaw and gregerson
my other starters verlander moore harrison baker
other relievers motte myers melancon casilla
no brainer right?
@barker, That’s not terrible… Yeah, get Kershaw…
hi, Grey. wanna get an advice from you. which team wins the trade?
I get Logan Morrison
he gets Jeremy Hellickson.
this is one for one. my league is 10 team roto. and this is my team.
C- Wieters
1B- Pujols
2B- Cuddyer
3B- Lawrie
SS- Hanley
IF- Butler
OF- J. Upton
Bruce
Gardner
Kendrys
Util- Delmon
Dunn
BN- W. Ramos
Cozart
DL- Allen Craig
SP- Grienke
Haren
RP- Motte
Marshall
P- Balfour
Bumgarner
Ubaldo
Zimmermann
BN- McCarthy
Minor
DL- Storen
our league also counts OPS and I expect LoMo could over .800. how do you think about this? thanks for reading.
@Piranhaman, Morrison
Back to drafting Dom. Brown in a NL Only Minor League draft in the 1st round.
Likely choices besides him would be may be G.Cole, Skaggs.. other hitters may be G.Brown, Yelich, Grandal, or S.Marte.
@elwood blues, I’d take Brown…
old players who start off hot….Fart Starts….what to call Marlins Stadium….DonkeyKongCo
@zombiehead, Not crazy about them…
Baseball Boobies! That remarkable Reyes and Ramirez photo! (They clearly deserve a long blissful life of watching outs dribble between them; together in Unicornco.) AND a Mrs. Benson reference to get the season going, outstanding Grey!
& a humble submission of “Premature Statisticulation” for when the old guys shoot their stats within the first month.
@zombie, Thanks! I like that one… Will run by Rudy…
I’m standing by “Six Flags Over Ozzie”. That thing is an atrocity to behold.
@Eddie, Hehe
There should be a name in the glossary for these old players that start hot…..”Viagra Vets”
Come out of the gate hot and then go cold pretty quickly
@2 Cups 1 Braun, Not crazy about it…
@Grey, Impossible to please. Wasn’t it you who advised people to lower their standards as it will be better for both of us??
How about Rainbowco for the stadium. Or Bob Ross’ wetdream-co…
@Bill_Buckner, ….Yea, and why don’t we add some happy fish tanks over behind home plate…. Yea, just like that…. With some happy little fishies, just swimmin’ around…..Yea.
@Bill_Buckner, Not terrible, think there’s better…
Oh and for the stadium, Richard Simmons Field
http://www.richardsimmonsdvds.com/richard32.jpg
@2 Cups 1 Braun, Ha… I know who Richard Simmons is…
10 team, 5×5
Got Lind, Hardy and Bourjos as my Util’s and Bench guys. Drop one for Belt?
@stynyr, Hardy
HA HA HA, I can’t get Adam’s song out of my head. “Hey, Hey, this is a baseball show Razzball b-baseball show, razzball b-baseball show pod-cast” You guys obviously know absolutely nothing about music or Adam would have won the coveted giftcard. Stick to you day jobs, whatever those are…
@BSW, Ha!
Remember that old NES game Excitebike? When you’d ride over one of those arrows on the ground, you’d go really fast for a short period of time, but then your motorcycle would start to overheat, and you’d have to pull over for a while and rest? Alfonso Soriano is on his Excitebike. He’ll be in the red by May 15.
@El Famous Burrito, Pretty good, needs a lot of explaining…
Regarding vets with abnormally fast starts: I’d call them “bluepillers” – similar to the Viagra Vets idea above, but less corporate!
Actually, looking through other comments, calling someone like Furcal an “Early Bird Special” has an even better ring to it. You get the age factor in, and it also very clearly gets across that this abnormal value won’t last. Plus, you’ll be ready to drop the mike and go home on the day an “Early Bird Special” gets a Slam and Legs.
Heh. My first comment here, and I talk myself out of my own idea! Oh well… there’s no I in Razzball, right?
@MisterMister, Ha! I do like Early Bird Special better too…
12 team H2H Keeper league, 6×6 ops qs
Need 1B, thinking about trying for Belt.
Thinking Moustakas $6 for Belt $4. Team has already tried for Mous. I’m considering trying for Lawrie or Beltre since both are cheap to keep and both are on the same team that has Longoria.
Whatcha think?
@Pete, Sounds good…
I’ve been calling it fishCo and LimeCo but I don’t have a creative bone in my body and I hate myself for not being able to think of something better. Opening day at MetCo (those walls really came in and lower, will it still be a “Co”?) will help me get over it.
@schlitzy, Aw man. Didn’t see u used lime in ur propOpsed stadium name. My bad
Marlins Stadium – “The Fish Tank”
Old Guys, Fast Start – I gotta go with Aaron Oz’s “Early Bird Special”. Check this out…http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/03/early-bird-special-miamis-south-beach-in-the-1980s/
Tank is a noun or verb.
@LA Sound Guy, Yeah, Early Bird Special is good…
Old players that start out great- a Hot Furcarl.
Furcal may start out great but he will take a dump on your stats in a month.
@Ol’ Wes, Not crazy about it…
If anyone has a roster spot available for tomorrow, pick up Carlos Gomez. He is starting against the lefty and has homered on opening day the last two years in a row. Also he has 2 dingers this week. Then you can make the proud strut to the FA list and drop him for some turd of a SAGNOF.
@Cole, Thanks for the heads up!
Lots of good suggestions for the old-timers off to fast starts. I was thinking maybe calling such players “Benny Butts” as an allusion to the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story in which a chap named Benjamin Button lives his life in reverse, starting out as an adult and then regressing into a pathetic, helpless crying baby. The name also evokes memories of Billy Batts getting stomped to death in Goodfellas, which always puts a smile on my face. My antediluvian baby, oh yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah…
@Squanto Esperanto, I like Early Bird Special better…
For all you old guys who remember Harold Baines as rook and fell asleep in your Archie Bunker recliners last night, the balls Furcal and Morrison hit late in the game carried well…there is hope for Stanton and my prize second round selection…
@SanFran1966, That’s true….
I’m thinking the stadium should be called MarCo PoloCo……you have to wander around aimlessly before finding the fence!
@golfnut, Ha, that’s not bad… I kinda like UnicornCo better, but I might be bias.
how did i miss this monstrosity in the outfield last night?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=R7O-VzWOTPU
Way to finally bring in that baseball atmosphere.
@John, Yup
Faneffintastic. Your killing me Grey ROFL… 1st thing in the morning the 3 s’s pour the 1st cup of coffee, boot up the laptop right to razzball. “HR Puffin stuff ” BOOM spit take all over lappy. I still have nightmares 47 years later. I think Reyes and HanRam stole HR’s hair dye as well. Mushrooms must be back in vogue. Holy S. Thanks for the advice and the laughs.
Freddie
@Freddie the flute, Thanks!
They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies! I am gushing over baseball’s boobies!
Wow Grey, you really are high on Billy Butler this year!
@Graveyard Duck, Ha!
UNICORNUCOPIA
@StantonLikeMyDaddy, I kinda like mine better…
15 team league (7×7 with strikeouts and OPS), think I can get Hamilton for Boneface and Jim Johnson? or am I dreaming?
My reasoning….I need a better LF, the other owner already has a starting a LF in Gordon and a starting CF in Bourn and also only has 2 closers
@nightpandas, Probably
New name for Marlins Park, Loria in the Sky with Diamonds.
I’ll be there next week. I’m bringing my kaleidoscope eyes.
@2qbn, Ha! Bit long though…
For the new Marlins Stadium I’d go with:
Estadio Magnifico!
And you must picture a 40-50 year old man of Latin American decent who owns a gift shop with his life partner in Key West saying it.
For the older players who get off to hot starts, Early Bird Special has my vote.
@Smell The Glove, Yeah, we like Early Bird too… It’s funny when you picture that person saying it…
Old guys that start fast: Bubblicious. You put that sugary gum in your mouth and for the first few chews you’re in heaven and then about 2 minutes into it you’re wondering who replaced your Bubblicious with cardboard.
@Purewater, I like Early Bird better…
Perhaps the ode to Miro is an attempt to re-attract FC Barcelona to buy that Miami MLS team that they had talked about…¿Camp Nou? (which it is) ¿Camp Naranja? ¿Camp Marlin?
@RK, Ha!
I was wondering if the Outman got injured in the outhouse. Guess not since it was coming out the other end.
@papasmurf, Ha!
Parque Pepper Sgt or shagging fly’s
@Freddie the flute, Not crazy about them…
16-team, H2H-POINTS League (BB=1, SO=-1, SB=3, 1B=1, 2B=2, etc.)
I waited on SS…and then waited some more. Then missed out on Cozart. Sigh.
I ended up with Pastornicky and Sean Rodriguez
Any of the following better options?
Darwin Barney
Daniel Descalso
Tyler Greene
Kyle Seager
Chris Getz
@Commish Cauda, I don’t think any of those are better options today, but if either starts losing starts I would go to Barney first.
Old guys who start fast then are done, “Premature Ejockulaters”.
@Jim, Not bad, I like Early Bird better…
One good thing about “Parque Pepper” we won’t be seeing Jim Morrisons nightmare come to life to often in center field.
@Freddie the flute, Ha
Marlins new ball park: Caverna Lime
Old players off to hot starts: Pseudo Aging Scorchers or PASs (Ex: Vladimir Guerrero Is at the peak of his PASsing)
@PastaMan, Not terrible, I like Early Bird better…
@Grey, @PastaMan,
I personally like this one the best of the bunch. Agreed with Rudy that the -co’s are feeling forced and effectively Caverna Lime breaks that mold. It rolls off the tongue, while also conveying the flamboyant color and monstrous size of the stadium. Also has that little bit of latino flair in the name too.
A+ effort.
Those old players are Ulysses (Tennyson’s):
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are—
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
@Doug dwcinces, Nice username… I like Early Bird better…
Quite surprised that the Blue Jays are hitting Lawrie third. Usually they throw someone down in the order and gradually move him up.
Definitely going to benefit from having Bautista behind him.
@Eddy, Grabbed him with the 38th pick in my 16 teamer (3rd round) this year. Early I know but I wanted a good 3B and it was him or old Paul Konerko who could decline at any stage- wanted the upside. Im all in on Lawrie this year, kids totally legit, watch him outperform Hosmer.
@Eddy, i just read “Toronto Blue Jays OF Jose Bautista is hitting third in the Opening Day lineup Thursday, April 5. There was an earlier report that 3B Brett Lawrie was hitting third. He’s hitting sixth.”
@RK, Ah, OK, that makes sense.
“I gave up throwing up for Lent. Jesus saves, we’ll see about Kyle”…Julianna Zobrist *she makes the “jerking off” motion.*
“Now let’s get all those jerk-seasoners in a circle.”
@Wake Up, Ha!
I’m guessing Aceves is getting the nod for AL East bias. That doesn’t explain why Bard is still starting, but I think that’s why he got the nod over Melancon.
Thank god too. After Madson went down my relief corps was a mess, and now I have like 10 relievers on my roster, many of whom may not actually be any good, lol. I’m currently rolling with Aceves, Thornton, Santiago, Holland, Broxton, and Lidge. Yikes. My SP feel strongish enough that I’ll be okay once I sift through the muck on these guys, plus my offense is strong enough to deal from, but yeah, agita, you said it.
I don’t think it really works as a stadium name, but the whole monstrosity made me shart-out “Carnivawful”.
@Wake Up, It really is…
Ok it’s sick but the name for the old guys who get off to quick starts is – Post-Mature Ejaculators (or Exhilarators – or PME’s for the NSFW crowd).
At least they peak after the season starts rather than in spring training
@yibberat, Not terrible, but I like Early Bird better…
@Grey, but it does lend possibilities to those oldsters who actually peak in spring training and then get injured or put on the disabled list when the season starts – the premature postmature – PMPME’s
*insert old guy here* is having a Viagrapril!
@TualatinTwoStep, Eh
Heh heh. You’ve got some good choices for glossary terms for hot-starting vets. I like Early Bird Specials and April Fools.
A couple of lineup questions.
I’ve got Rasmus on a couple of teams and my natural inclination would be to start him because of Masterson’s historic problems with lefties. But in the two Blue Jays’ spring training games I saw, he looked lost at the plate and I was resigned to thinking he might need time to figure things out this year. Would you start him?
Also, any reason not to start Bedard against the Phillies in a 16-team roto league? I know facing Halladay is no holiday. But Bedard’s healthy, he’s pitched well against Philly in the past, and the Phillies have some key injuries. Am I missing something? He may not get the win but he’s not likely to pitch badly, is he?
@Enrique, Yeah, I like Early Bird… I’d start both…
Some more baseball predictions (guess the source)
Adam Dunn hits 40 home runs.
Francisco Liriano is a top-10 fantasy pitcher this year.
Thirty home runs for Mike Carp
Alfonso Soriano goes 35/100.
Erik Bedard wins the NL Cy Young
Adam Wainwright is a top-five pitcher
Double-digit wins and 175 strikeouts for Carlos Zambrano.
Clue – this guy finished 15th out of the 16 as per accuracy in the 2011 fantasy prognosticators as per Rudy Gamble.
@Paulie Allnuts, that’s disingeniune, as the article states “This is my bold predictions piece. For a prediction to be bold, of course, it is not likely to happen. “.
@RK, Dunno, that lets the author pretty much off the hook. If the prediction comes true, he can take credit for it and his admirers state that he is a genius. If it goes wrong; well, I didn’t really expect it to happen anyway. As for myself, if I make a bold prediction, I believe that it not only will come true, but shock the world. So no, I don’t believe that these choices were disingenuous; I believe that they are the sign of latent idiocy. But that is only me; others may disagree.
@Paulie Allnuts, concur.
@Paulie Allnuts, Seems like I’ve been seeing more of these bold predictions posts this year. Makes for interesting (if headscratching) reading but not very helpful unless Vegas is taking prop bets and they put money on those bold predictions…
@Rudy Gamble, Well, it gives you guys a new post for next year, see who gets the highest percentage of bold predictions correct. Still won’t really be fantasy relevant though.
@Paulie Allnuts, for me, it was just a fun article, not to be used for anything but that — especially since it comes right around Opening Day, after most drafts are done.
@RK, give me a freakin’ break from your non-sense. Readers look to bold predictions articles to find promising players that may have fallen under the radar. Be honest with yourself. You totally missed the mark. It is ok. Just post your stuff as ridiculously absurd predictions. If you want to be taken seriously, be serious.
Hooray for baseball…. Hooray for Grey’s daily roundup.
Glossary suggestion:
FloCo or FlorCo
(would have been better when they were still the Marlins of Florida)
@mrobs, Not crazy about them…
Pastel Park?
@larryjoebird, Not bad… Doesn’t say big though…
@Grey, Pastelco
@larryjoebird, Rudy’s saying the -co’s are feeling forced…
@Grey, true. How about Miami Vise, or Miami Vise Grip?
Old Sharts – They start off good (like a fart) but then end up shitting on you.
@Greg Norton, I like Early Bird better…
Can’t wait for blacklight friday with dayglo uni’s,balls and bats.
@Freddie the flute, Ha!
Alright time to go to work. Thanks again Grey I’ll be laughing all day
@Freddie the flute, No problem…
Should I offer Delmon $16 for Belt $16?
If the guy rejects trade, should I add Street $25 for Perkins $2?
The dollars are cost to keep next year.
I currently have F-Her, D.Hudson, Luebke, Moore, Anibal in the rotation. Relievers are Street, Betancourt, Balfour, Aceves, Meloncon, Walden.
My hitters are Avila, Ike, Espinosa, Tulo, Aramis, Braun, Victorino, Duda, Delmon, Cain, Cozart, Moustakas
12 team mixed c,1b,2b,3b,ss,3xOF, util and 1450IP
I like that Belt can play 1st. With Duda and Ike on the same team, I can never make up missed games on off days.
@Paul, I’d take Belt
How about ‘Silver Fox’ because its hilarious and they’re using their veteran wiles?
@Big Jgke, I like Early Bird better…
I’m throwing in my vote for Early Bird Special.
I think the UnicornCo looks like a cross between a gay pride parade, Mardi Gras, and terrible chotchkies for sale on the streets of Miami. I don’t have a name for it, I’m not nearly that clever, but that is one flamboyantly ugly stadium.
@Wilsonian, Yup
Need an early spot start tmrw to rack up some P stats in the short first week. Who do u like best….
Chen @ LAA
Guthrie @ HOU
Vargas @ OAK
Pavano @ BAL
Arrieta vs MIN
@RTP, Vargas, Guthrie…
@Grey: You said you would have Belt between Napoli and Ike if Belt were guaranteed PT. Now that he is guaranteed PT (at least for the time being), how far do you move him up your Top 300 rankings from his current spot at 202? If you were moving him up between Napoli and Ike this would put him right around 100 overall. Is there where you’d have him?
Drop Cahill (my 6th starter) for him (I’d have Belt, Duda, Goldie and Delmon for my final two utility spots and the other two would be on the bench)?
@The Situation, Drop Cahill for him…
I like Early Bird Special, but I also think Bucket Listers should be thrown in to the ring.
@Phil, Yeah, not bad…
One last thing Grey. In your honor the 1st person I pullover today that knows who HR Puff in Stuff is gets out of a ticket.
Later
@Freddie the flute, That’s awesome!
Wind blowin’ in at 17 mph at Wrigley today. Go Stras!
@Simply Fred, Nice
AARPril nookie!
Selig is an idiot.
@Clodbuster,
Flamingco?
@Clodbuster, That’s not bad at all… Early Bird bit easier to say…
I need to drop a MR. Should it be Bobby Parnell or Melancon?
@kingadrock, Parnell
16 team, keeper (1st year), yahoo, 5×5, roto.
should I do this? NEED saves.
give- Paul Konerko, Adam Jones, Michael Brantley
get- Sin Soo Choo, Sergio Santos, Matt Joyce
team..
1B- Konerko, 2B- Uggla, 3B- Zimmerman, SS- Gonzalez, IN- Butler, OF- Jones, OF- Presley, OF- Brantley, OF- Murphy, UT- CDavis, BN- Parmelee, Guzman, AlEscobar, Revere, DL- Gutierrez
SP- Price, SP- Beachy, RP- Thornton, RP- HSantiago, P- Melancon, P- DHernandez, P- Clippard, BN- Wood, Brothers, Luebke, Jimenez, DHolland, DL- Lilly, Baker, BAnderson
@SpecialFNK, It’s fair
I am in a 20 team h2h dynasty league. I think my team needs more speed. I was offered gordon and dan hudson for my lester and crawford. Do I consider this trade?
c jp arencibia
1b miguel cabrera
2b neil walker
ss yunel escobar
3b evan longoria
inf prince fielder
lf carl crawford
cf peter bourjos
rf justin upton
of carlos lee
util vernon wells
bn ryan lavernway
Bn miguel Sano
Bn mat gamel
sp clayton kershaw
sp cliff lee
sp ubaldo jiminez
sp jon lester
rp jason motte
rp matt throton
rp matt reynolds
rp matt capps
p scott downs
p brad peacock
bn aaron harang
bn scott downs
bn garrett richards
bn blake beaven
bn brian matusz
@Ryan, How do you still have Fielder? No, that’s not a good trade…
H2H 6×6 (TB and QS are additional cats), Garza and Swisher for CJ Wilson and Rasmus? What about for Cain and Rasmus?
@Steve Stevenson, Sure, try Cain…
I just got offered BJ Upton for my Ichiro.Standard 5 cats + OBP and Net Steals. I’m think do it. What you think?
@ritzer, I’d take Upton…
@Grey, Thanks …done.
uggh…How bout a name for that pic of Ramirez and Reyes: Miami Bleach
@FuzzyD, Ha!
Now that Belt is the starter – Lind vs. Belt?
@Grey’s da man!, Lind
For fast starting players who fade: Spring flings
For the Miami park: Pastel Canyon (or Cavern)
I like Early Bird Specials for the double entendre but it doesn’t quite capture the meaning, imo.
@Hawk, Maybe on those stadium names… Not bad…
Grey & Rudy,
Can you explain why Daniel Hudson is ranked significantly higher than Ian Kennedy. Their FIP are essentially the same, Ian has a better k/9 and lower whip. My guess is that you will say Hudson’s minor league numbers suggest his k/9 should trend up, but even then Ian should still have the edge in whip. Please explain yourselves
@PastaMan, Your guess is right…
Old players who start hot and cool off:
Grande Crappuccino
It’s cold before you’re halfway done. And it has the massive turd imagery going for it.
@Bosmosis, Ha! I like Early Bird better, but that’s funny…
Old guys who get off to hot starts:
Pre-Rigor Mortis Twitching
@PublicEnemy#1, Eh
10 team, H2H 7×7 (Walks, XBH, CG, SHO)
C Molina (20)
1B Fielder (2)
2B Uggla (5)
SS A. Ramirez (15)
3B Longoria (1)
OF Pence (6)
OF Berkman (8)
OF Victorino (9)
Util A. Jones (10)
Util Reynolds (12)
BN Tabata (21)
BN Espinoso (22)
BN L. Cain (23)
SP Lincecum (3)
SP F. Hernandex (4)
SP Gallardo (7)
SP A. Sanchez (13)
RP Valverde (11)
RP Marmol (17)
P Street (16)
P Francisco (18)
BN Cueto (17)
BN Jansen (19)
My team is light on speed, so considering dropping Jansen, Tabata, Cain or Espinosa for Coco Crisp. Jansen is basically riding the bench for me unless I give him one of four available RP/P spot that are currently filled by confirmed closers. And Coco could be a nice source of 4 category production if he bats third all year…
@Seymour, You’re dropping speed guys for a different speed guy? Eh…
Also – I need a 1B. What do you think about:
I give C. Santana and J. Chacin
I get: Konerko and Avila
Would you still do it if I was giving Ubaldo and Santana? (12 team 5×5 scoring rotisserie – I have 6 other SP you have ranked better than Ubaldo)
@Grey’s da man!, Sounds fair… I would…
Old guys who start off strong: Mandelbaums.
@botkin, That’s pretty good… I think Early Bird slightly better…
A bit long but, “over the hill thrills”? They are fun while they last….
@nightpandas, Eh…
Old vet who starts fast and fades: April Fool’s Gray
It’s got the early season/mirage/graybeard thing covered. I like Early Bird Special too but I agree with Hawk that it needs further explanation to know what you’re referring to.
@Big Magoo, Yeah, Early Bird’s better…
Home of the Fish = WetCo
@xopchipili, Ha… That’s not bad at all…
Anyone staring Volquez today vs LAD? I’m starting Kershaw as well.
@timSti, I would…
old guys who start out fast- Geezer Teaser
@dingers, Ha… That’s not bad, I think Early Birds is slightly better…
@Grey,
reading down to here , i think you must have stated that you are going with Early Birds Special at least 2 dozen times .
i was beginning to wonder why these guys couldn’t get the point that you had made up your mind , already , and that the issue was settled .
why were they still offering up suggestions ??
BUT , ….. Geezer Teaser is the better option , and you know it .
so , sleep on it .
back-track , if you must .
but make the correct choice .
cust truthin’
Cubacco (tobacco) is bad for your health.. and HR’s.
Oh and for the record, I still think you should go with my original idea of Targetco for Target field…. no I’m not bitter… really.
@KeeblerMN, Rudy and I are thinking Pastel Canyon…
Those Marlins Park colors are horrible. I nominate Crayola Park.
@Bill Lumbergh,
I LOL’ed at this.
@Bill Lumbergh, Funny, maybe Crayola Canyon…
@Grey, Nice addition – I love it!
@Grey, Since it does have the retractable roof you might also consider calling it the “Crayola Cavern”. Either way, think I can get credit for an assist in the Razzball Glossary?
Yup… I think I like Canyon better but it’s under advisement…
Miami Marlins new stadium name – Carmen Miranda-ville Park (CMP)
http://costumenetwork.com/albums/album33/ae_103103carmenMiranda.jpg
@RichC, Ha…Thinking maybe Crayola Canyon…
@Grey,
That’s a winner.
@Hawk, Yeah, I like it too.
gotta start verlander even against BOS, right?
@yuuup,
You always start Verlander.
Lidge and Henry Rodriguez to alternate saves.
@Eddy, Great…
@Eddy, Is this news/do you have a source? or are you cust kayin’?
thinking about picking up lidge
@mrobs, Davey Johnson said it.
http://www.kffl.com/gnews.php?id=779298-nationals-will-alternate-closers
Grey best choice as 5th OF or UTIL spot: Reimold or Thames?
@RichC, Thames
“Miami Vast”
@mrobs, Ha, not bad…
“Old Fart Fast Start”
@cubbies299, Hehe… Early Bird is better…
fast starters = premature ejaculators….they peak early and are too tired to do anything else after
@Clinton, Prefer Early Bird…
Hello Grey! We are starting up a Yahoo Auction League and I wanted to know if you have any suggested prices for players. I have seen the table in your Rankings Tab that appears to compare 10 Team and 12 Team ESPN and Yahoo Leagues, but are they your suggested rankings in the table or simply the averages from those leagues?
My apologies if this request is confusing.
Thanks much Grey and please continue the great work!
@yankees2012, No problem… I’d use Point Shares… http://razzball.com/2012-fantasy-baseball-rankings/
@Grey,
Thanks much. One more question if I may. Your (and Rudy’s) recommendation in the notes below the table indicate you two prefer the $165/$95 split in a 12 Team League. If we are in a 10 Team with 10 Hitters and 9 Pitchers, which of the three cartegories
on that table would you prefer?
I hope that makes sense. Thanks again Grey.
@yankees2012, I go around 180/80…
Did my final draft last night. CBS Sports ranking are wacky as hell, yoh. It’s a twelve team league, H2H. No BA or OBP, but counts singles as a point, doubles as two, so on. Stolen Bases are two points. Pitchers get a point for every inning, two for K’s, two for saves, and so on. Max 9 SP, 3 RP. Lineups set up at beginning of week. Waiver line $1 per move. A weird league none the less. Think I picked a monster team though.
C-Miguel Montero (Round 14)
1st-Joey Votto (Round 1)
2nd-Kelly Johnson (Round 12)
SS-Starlin Castro (Round 6)
3rd-Evan Longoria (Round 2)
OF-Giancarlo Stanton (Round 4)
OF-Jay Bruce (Round 5)
OF-Emilio Boneface (Round 8)
Util-Michael Cuddyer (Round 9)
Reserve-Mike Moustakas (Round 16)
Reserve-Coco Crisp (Round 19)
Reserve-Jose Altuve (Round 22)
Reserve-Mike Trout (Round 24)
SP-Jered Weaver (Round 3)
SP-Gio Gonzalez (Round 7)
SP-Brandon Beachy (Round 10)
SP- Cory Luebke (Round 12)
SP- Ryan Dempster (Round 15)
RP- Sergio Santos (Round 13)
RP- Jason Motte (Round 17)
Reserve- Shaun Marcum (Round 18)
Reserve- Jhoulys Chacin (Round 20)
Reserve- Kenley Jansen (Round 21)
Reserve- Drew Pomeranz (Round 23)
Reserve- Jerrod Parker (Round 25)
Whadda ya think, Grey. Championship Potential or what?
@John Axford Meat Stache, Does look like a powerhouse… Probably cause CBS’s rankings are so bad… Or you’re so good…
@Grey, no CBS gets full responsibility for this team. Worse than Matthew “Sweet” Berry the way they rank.
@John Axford Meat Stache, Ha… You sound like Yoda.
@John Axford Meat Stache,
these types of CBS leagues are almost always won on SP’s .
had you checked CBS’ vast accumulation of past performances ,
(i.e year by year top point scorers) , you probably would have
selected SP’s with your first 5 picks .
“ApocalyptiCo Park” in honor of the apocryphal 5th horseman who, according to lost scripture, shall ride a glorious sea beast out of the depths of the Atlantic and lay a duke bomb of glitter and shame upon a sinful metropolis signalling the oncoming end-of-days. Joining Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death, this harbinger of woe shall be named Douchery and he shall instill regret, motion sickness, and weak slugging stats upon all mortals within his sweeping grasp.
Pretty awesome, right? Right? Hey come back, guys! Mangosteen and goji berry smoothies on me… hey wait up!
HA! I don’t think it’s better than Crayola Canyon…
@Grey: I had to pickup a bat when BJ went to the DL, so i chose Belt over Thames, Moose, Rasmus, Tabata, . Good move?
@ThE sHiT, Sure
Hey Grey.
A guy in my league took Darvish as the 14th pitcher overall in our draft and says he will bet anyone in our league 20 bucks that he will finish higher in total points than any pitcher that we took after him. Is this guy smoking crack? I will note that I am in a 12 team points league, that is heavy on stats like wins, quality starts, innings pitched, etc. Would you take this bet with either Latos or Gio? At first I thought it was a no-brainer, but people seem to be a little higher on Darvish now than they were at the start of Spring Training. Do you still like Darvish where he is in your rankings? Thanks for all your wisdom.
@Zeke, Yeah, he’s smoking crack…
@Grey, Thanks for the reinforcement, and you were spot on with Unicornco. All they need is a furry wall in Left.
I have an idea for Marlins park being that pitcher parks end in co how about fishco?
@mets fan, Kinda like Crayola Canyon…
LOL thats a good one to
Deep 14 tm mixed 5×5 roto.
Bryan LaHair, Ryan Sweeney, or Roger Bernadina.
I need power more than speed, but barely.
@timSTi, Bernadina
@Grey, OH, forgot the lispers nightmare Seth Smith is in that mix too. So I’d need 2 of those 4. I currently have LaHair & Smith on my roster. Thanks bruddah.
@timSTi, Bernadina, LaHair… Though I worry a bit about the back issue…
@Grey, Yeah, same here. I’ll keep an eye on it. Thanks for the input though my man.
Unicornico is great. Just complete the Enya water references and call it:
“Unicornico Flow”
Its like one great watery one-horned fish laden menstration fantasy.
@birrrdy!, Maybe I’m selling myself short, but I kinda like Crayola Canyon better…
Marlins stadium:
- The Aqueerium (I’m not trying to make a joke on loud gay style sensibilities, I’m saying the park is effing WEIRD — but I can see how the usage could be misconstrued as derogatory…)
- FaaaaartdeCo (As in, art deco + those walls are faaaaaaar out there. Plus, fart.)
- Marlandia
I like Early Bird Specials, but I also thought of:
- Daylight Savers (they spring forward, then fall back…)
- A.M. Risers (April/May Risers, plus another joke on the early bird/old guy thing…)
@Goose, Ha! I like Marlandia, I think Crayola Canyon says big better though…
@Goose, daylight savers is a good one.
diaper dandies,
@AL KOHOLIC, Funny, but I think Early Bird is better…
@AL KOHOLIC, haha is that from
‘O brother where art thou”
Daper Dan!
I’ll throw out a vote in support of Crayola Canyon, but for the sake of diversifying your colloquialism portfolio you can also refer to it as a “pastel pasture” from time to time…
Nice…
I think old players who start off hot are suffering from Enlarged Pro Stats.
That’s hilarious… I’ll add it into the definition for Early Bird…
Just noticed Rudy’s team in FanDuel. Thought people might be interested,
Tommy Hanson
Carlos Santana
Freddie Freeman
Brandon Phillips
Hanley Ramirez
Zack Cozart
Drew Stubbs
John Mayberry
Shelley Duncan
Also, this has probably been discussed already, but New Zealand beat Canada in curling today.
I’m sure Steve will like seeing that. Not Rudy’s team, the curling thing…
Enlarged Pro Stats > Early Bird Special
Trying to think of one using a pun with Depends but my lack of creativity is preventing me to come up with one…something like Dependsable Vets, maybe someone can think of a better one
I think they can be used in conjunction.
the wind at wrigley has alreafy cost zimmerman a hr,and greys fav. early bird soriano 1 maybe also
Yup
Great job on the last podcast, truly rounding into form.
I agree with your opinions about the suggested names, and can’t think of anything better, but I did find it interesting that Red Grooms designed the HR monstrosity. Based on his other works, I think that it definitely has a tongue in cheek, ironic aspect to it; Time called his show at the Whitney “Redneck Deco.” I also think that his name sounds like a Soviet-era Russian doo-wop group. Or maybe a website for mail-order Russian husbands (not sure there’s a very big market for this). Anyhow, in total honesty, I absolutely love the HR sculpture. The Padres seem to be heading in the complete opposite direction, making everything less interesting, though it is pretty reflective of San Diego culture, at least the more affluent part of it.
My two teams are a combined 2 for 22. Why was I looking forward to this so much?
Red Grooms — ha! BTW, found out I have a connection through my cougar to a minority owner of the Padres and may be going to stay with them at some point this summer. Giddy up! I may have to get him on the podcast too.
@Grey, Rad! I wonder if he could hook you up with a press pass. This counts as press, right? Definitely let me know when/if you decide to come down.
Heading to opening day w the wife and baby. With a 2 month old in padres gear, we’re pretty much guaranteed we’ll get on the jumbotron; too bad I missed my chance to get a razzball shirt.
Will do! Yeah, now all you need is to put a giant foam finger on your hand and propose again to your wife and you’ll make the evening news…
It’s only been one game but do you give all Marlins pitchers a slight boost now? Nolasco is on the waiver wire and I’m considering the add now.
Depends who you’re dropping to pick him up… I don’t think the park is gonna hurt their pitchers, that’s for sure…
Capuano @ SD or Vargas @ OAK?
Capuano
Hey Grey, would you drop A. Hill for Mayberry as a bench guy?
Not right now…
Grey Old Bean,
How you like-a this trade?
Getting Hanley, Lorenzo Cain, Michael Young, and giving up Ryan Zimmerman, Asdrubal, and Kendrick.
14 team H2H Points League (no categories) 3 add/drops per week (4 bench batters, 3 bench pitchers, 2 minors spots, 2 DL spots)
C: Wilson Ramos
1B: Votto
2B: Rickie Weeks
SS: Asdrubal Cabrera
3B: Ryan Zimmerman
OF: Ellsbury
OF: Kendrick (OF/2B)
OF: Cuddyer (OF/1B)
U: Kendrys Morales (1B)
Bench: Alex Rios, Drew Stubbs, Ryan Doumit, Mike Aviles
SP: CJ Wilson, Jordan Zimmerman, Bud Norris, Ryan Dempster, Corey Luebke (SP/RP), Erik Bedard, Matt Harrison
RP: Chris Sale, Neftali Feliz
DL: Jorge De La Rosa
Minors: Teheran, Bauer
Not crazy about it…
@Grey,
What if I were to replace Cain with JJ Hardy or Bourjos? Make any difference?
Not completely…
Early Bird is good. First thing that came to mind was “Aprilgenarian,” which I think is more clever than funny.
Ha… Yeah, not bad… Probably a pain for me to type though…
@Grey, I thought twice about bailing on Mesoraco in my 12-team. Arencibia is going to kill my AVG, OPS, and K cats worse than just waiting until Mesoraco gets ABs, but I can’t bail on the counting cats. Sad face…
S1W?
Yeah, I watched it… The men are a bunch of Mr. Bungles…
@Grey, The teaser for next week was incredibly lame… desperate to make it look like the guys might have a chance to stir something up.
@Awesomus Maximus, I Troyzan fell for that nonsense… Why couldn’t him and the pretty boy just talk about it? So frustrating…
@Grey, What’s her face played it well, knowing they already had a bit of a macho rivalry between them… and then showing up at the perfect moment to defuse a possible conversation.
She played it well, but there’s no reason why the pretty boy and Troyzan couldn’t have a convo… Or just ask the dwarf if Mike discussed anything… Or just ask Mike… So frustrated… Now it’s like 4 episodes until anything happens… I did find it interesting that Alicia and Christina voted for Tarzan, they obviously didn’t know anything…
@Grey, Seems obvious (as a viewer) that those two are on the outside of EVERY alliance. If any of the guys had the cutthroat instinct that what’s her face does, they would have gotten the 5 guys and at least one of those girls (Christina would have been easy) to flip.
I so wanted Troyzan to realize what was going on and give him idol to Mike and get rid of the girl that was trying to choreograph the whole thing… But it seems like I’m giving him way too much credit… He still seems baffled next week…
@Grey, Way too much credit. Jonas was the only guy who had any strategic chops. Chelsea and the other chick (who’s running things) are both solid players. It will be interesting to see if they stick together or if one realizes they need to cut the other sooner rather than later.
@Awesomus Maximus,
face it guys .
this show has been steadily going down-hill , every year , since … i don’t know when .
but wait !!
next year they’ll have Rachel and ‘what’s his face’
from big brother !!!
or maybe even boston rob , again .
On the old guys starting strong: Geezer Teasers or Geeze Tease?
On new Miami park: IcanSeeTheCoastOfEnglandBeyondTheCenterfieldWallCo
Not bad, think we have some better suggestions above…
Looks like my $12 Valverde salad has a pube in it. Do I pick it out and and eat the rest or risk sending it back only to have someone convince me the filet they added was for the inconvenience?
@2 Cups 1 Braun, Ha!
Jesus. At least I own Aceves too.
For crying out loud.
Time to drop Aceves, he just crapped the bed.
hahaha. Melancon comes in the 9th and gives up 2 hits so bobby V the genius calls in aceves…
Aceves hits ramon Santiago to load the bases!
Shituation!
Then Aceves gave up the game winning hit…
BSSSSSSSS
@The Talented Mr. Dope Man, let the closer brain freezes start
@AL KOHOLIC, ha i drafted melancon for $1 at the end of my AL only because i had no trust in bailey… Felt I overpaid… haha
in one ESPN league I own both of them… haha
@The Talented Mr. Dope Man, ive already shuffeled about 20 or so between 3 teams,farns is the one i need to come back
@AL KOHOLIC, Hey at least we didnt draft em…
one mo time GREY
. another offer. now he’s offering me Hanley/Matt Moore/Max Scherzer for Asdrubal and CJ Wilson. Would you do this one?
Here’s my lineup again. CJ is my best pitcher.
14 team H2H Points League (no categories) 3 add/drops per week (4 bench batters, 3 bench pitchers, 2 minors spots, 2 DL spots)
C: Wilson Ramos
1B: Votto
2B: Rickie Weeks
SS: Asdrubal Cabrera
3B: Ryan Zimmerman
OF: Ellsbury
OF: Kendrick (OF/2B)
OF: Cuddyer (OF/1B)
U: Kendrys Morales (1B)
Bench: Alex Rios, Drew Stubbs, Ryan Doumit, Mike Aviles
SP: CJ Wilson, Jordan Zimmerman, Bud Norris, Ryan Dempster, Corey Luebke (SP/RP), Erik Bedard, Matt Harrison
RP: Chris Sale, Neftali Feliz
DL: Jorge De La Rosa
Minors: Teheran, Bauer
@moses, I’d take Hanley…
I don’t know if anyone has said this, but when did Cueto turn into a Latin Hideo Nomo? Dude’s wind-up looks like something from a cartoon.
@Wilsonian, I know its hillarious. God only knows how he can command his pitches using that wind-up.
@TheNewGuy, Luis Tiant Jr. Cueto needs Eric Thames’ facial hair.
MMD just missed a bomb through the wind. Stand-up triple.
@Wilsonian, he absolutely crushed it too. If it was July it woulda been in Milwaukee by now…
Lohse yesterday, Masterson today. The H2H gods hate me.
@Steve, I’m loving the Son of Masters right now. Got him on both my money teams.
Masterson gem… Picked up a Lidge Save… Mets win behind Johan… Didn’t have to use my AK… I have to say it was a good day.
@3FingersBrown, Got the Lidge save too in both leagues, 1st vultured save of the season. Ata boy Brad, always liked you.
@TheNewGuy, Damn Perez spoiled Masterson’s gem. What a piece of garbage he is. How long until Pestano get’s the 9th?
@3FingersBrown, Perez was 36 for 40 last year; probably doesn’t lose the job that quickly.
@VinWins, I didn’t realize he had that many saves last year. I just know his K/BB rate was shit and I avoided him like herpes in my drafts this year.
@VinWins, 36 for 40 but he was still awful with the rest of his peripheral numbers. Perez said his slider should be better this year and back to his 2010 form, yet we saw none of that. I really wish they’d give Pestano a shot, he’s a much much better pitcher.
@TheNewGuy, Not saying you’re wrong; just saying it doesn’t seem like they will be quick to take the job from him.
@TheNewGuy, I dropped Lidge to pick up Peralta — hope that move’s a net gain for me.
@3FingersBrown, Guessing you don’t love Perez though
@VinWins, Ha. I beat you too it… The way Cunningham stood there on Encarnacion’s shot, I thought it was a routine fly out.
@3FingersBrown, Ha. Unless you look at the timestamps. Nice running by Davis to score from first.
Henderson Alvarez or Lohse?
@Fletch, Lohse
Anyone starting to get the jitters about the Marlins hitters already? I know its so early but they’ve looked awful so far against pretty mediocre pitching. I’ve got a lot invested in them, with Hanley and Gaby in one league and Gargantua in another…so I need these guys to hit.
@TheNewGuy, It’s a bit early still…
@TheNewGuy, Friggin Hanley…great job making contact…
Broxton just named closer by Yost
Thanks for the heads up!
Here’s my staff for a 10 team, H2H league, standard 5 categories…
SP – Cliff Lee
SP -Gio Gonzalez
SP – Jordan Zimmermann
SP – Matt Garza
SP – Ubaldo Jimenez
SP – Jhoulys Chacin
SP – Trevor Cahill
RP – Carlos Marmol
RP – Frank Frank
RP – Greg Holland
I have 2 open spots after dropping Madson and DL’ing Fellatio. Based on my staff, what 2 you like between Lohse, Dirty Sanchez, Leake, Nolasco, Harrison and Milone. If you only like 1 of those for me, I can add an OF with my other open spot.
Milone, Lohse…
@Grey, Thanks! Hoping you would say Milone!
Cozart with a fought off triple…
Bruuuuuuuce!
@3FingersBrown, What a CF bomb… Greys guys starting to hit now!
@TheNewGuy, crushed it. He has such a nice easy swing… I’m all in on Bruce this year.
Oh, yeah, baby, oh yeah….
Even though you sound set at Early Bird Specials, I figured I’d give it a shot:
Old players that start off hot – “Vinegar Strokes”. In reference to the final moments of a male orgasm; when you can no longer stop ejaculation. Basically, you get the 1 last big thrust, but then you need a nap.
For the stadium, mark my vote for Crayola Canyon. You can even shorten it to CraCan to make it sound worse.
CraCan… Ha! Yeah, not feeling Vinegar Strokes…
Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuu—oh, wait someone beat me to it.
Sweet, Jesus!
I assume I’m not the only one hoping someone other than Marshall comes out to start the 9th. I need someone to give up a run so he can come in and get the save.
Too late…
@Bill S. Preston, Esq, Crap
@Bill S. Preston, Esq, Well, I’ll take it. It was certainly better than I got from Aceves.
Arencibia is 0 for 5 so far, and I still haven’t dropped him! Progress!
Ron Popeil would be proud…
For the lexicon terms, I was gonna put down early bird specials too, but that seems to have been covered. Some other thoughts:
Grizzly hares. Cuz they’re all grizzled, but they start off fast. And if it needs explanation and sounds like a Hanna Barbera cartoon that only aired in the Philippines, it’s probably no good.
Methuseleaders
StAARPlayers
Rascal scooters
Man, this Toronto-Cleveland is like trench warfare without the cool gas masks.
@Long Bawls, Ha… I don’t mind some of your suggestions, I think early bird specials is cleaner…
Oh no! Jack Hannahan’s MVP bid just took a hit.
@Long Bawls, Ha!
For Marlin’s stadium name, what about Fish TaCo or Chum Cavern?
We could stick to strict geography and go with Gulf of MexiCo.
@Long Bawls, Well, not STRICT geography
@Long Bawls, Ha, no not strict… I like Crayola Canyon better….
JPA 3-run HR! My patience pays off!
Ha… Yeah, paid to be patient for a little under an hour…
Ha! I’ve been waiting for over 5 hours for him to get a hit. Santos came in for the save, but Farrell wasn’t making the change.
1 out, now Santos brought in. Longest opening day game (by innings) in MLB history.
@VinWins, Blue Jays and Indians made it feel twice as long too.
Kershaw leaving the game after 3 IP because of the flu. My opponent has him so I’m not complaining.
But as for Kershaw, he’s literally too sick.
@Eddy, Damn
Aaaand…Edinson Walkez strikes again.
@Long Bawls,
The dude is the personification of a mirage.
@Eddy, Can’t spell mirage w/o “rage.” Or walk w/o “k.”
Of course Arencibia hits a 3-run dinger on the day I pick him up (he won’t be on my roster until tomorrow). Feels good to be frustrated again! FMFBBL
@Awesomus Maximus, Ha! I missed that acronym.
Well dom. brown was taken.. now I am down to G.Cole or Skaggs? NL Only 4×4.
Cole
@Grey, yeah I like Cole. There’s one guy ahead of me, I guess I can’t go wrong with either.
10 team h2h points
I give Holliday, Tom Hanson, Cahill I get bj Upton, garza, shields
I’m getting antsy about receiving your book, I’m wondering if it will be the best ever or the greatest ever (like Ryan Klesko’s sideburns)
Don’t love the trade…
@Grey, Does getting Eithier for Crawford sweeting the deal or keep a broke trade broken?
@Pokey Reese, Doesn’t make it better…
I thought I was screwed when Bailey, Farnsworth, and Madson all went down. Now, I’m thinking I’d be better off if Marmol and Perez needed Tommy John surgery, too.
@Terrance Mann, at least you don’t have Kenley. Or do you?
@Grey, Heh, nope. Own Street, Myers, and Betancourt ina few leagues.
Kemp’s working on my MVP prediction. Emoticon…
He looked good today, for sure…
@Grey, I’m not complaining. Nor am I complaining about Mr. Bruce.
I know this is a smidge premature, but in your professional opinion, what kind of leash do you think Perez has?
@Wilsonian, A week or so, unless he’s hurt…
I’m in five $$ leagues. Own Cozart in 5, Kendrick in 4, Bruce in 3. You’ve tainted me.
@Terrence Mann, You’re welcome!
@Grey, Thanks. It’s comparable to being teabagged – just more in your face.
@Grey, How do you rank: Tommy Milone, Peavy, Leake, Liam Hendricks?
@3FingersBrown, Peavy, Milone, Leake…
@Grey, Thanks. I have Peavy and Leake and that Peavy start in Texas has me thinking twice about him…
Milone has great MiLB numbers but his low velocity scares me. I’ve never seen him pitch. Sounds like he could be Barry Zito redux. Strokes chin…
@3FingersBrown, Radke-ish…
@Grey, That’s not too bad. Cheap back end WHIP anchor.
@3FingersBrown, Yup
Hey Grey i need a 2 starter next week for a h2h league, which would you pick-up?
Homer: vs. Stl (Lohse), @Was (Detwiler)
Leake: vs Stl (Westbrook) @Was (Jackson)
C. Sale: @cle (Tomlin) vs Det (Porcello)
Thanks
Sale, Leake…
OK. 12 team H2H rotation is thus:
Bumgarner
D Hudson
J Zimmerman
Chacin
McCarthy
Cahill
Peavy
Sanchez
Valverde
Betancourt
Thornton
Johnson
Braxton
Aceves
So yeah, I lucked into some closers off the wire and now I have too many for h2h. Starting pitching could do with beefing up, can you see any SP/closer combos that I could maybe shift for a starter?
Broxton or Thornton and Chacin or Peavy for a #2 SP…
@Grey, Someone like Garza?
Or I know he’s on the DL but what about sending one of those schmohawk closers for Lilly?
Yeah, try and get Garza…
@Steve, Or do I just flat drop a closer to free up a spot? Need a holds guy too…
I wouldn’t drop one right now…
Just catching some highlights. Padilla rocking a pretty promising-looking mullet.