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You smell that?  No, not your armpits.  That’s Opening Day.  The real thing this time!  I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee.   I love you!  I want to touch baseball’s boobies!  They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies!  I am gushing over baseball’s boobies!  Grey, um, you’re writing this down; this isn’t your inner monologue.  Good call, Random Italicized Voice.  Embarrassing.  Speaking of embarrassing, how about that monstrosity just past the Marlins’ outfield fences?  It’s a passive-aggressive ode to a fan base and city that is loathed by Marlins’ senior management.  “You Marlin fans – all you care about are pretty colors.  You don’t even appreciate the ode to Miro!”  That was what the Marlins president said after he called Marlin fans stupid.  (The last part isn’t a lie.  You can use Google, if you don’t believe me.  I understand; the Internet made me cynical too.  I blame you, Al Gore!)  Oh, that’s all assuming you can see the outfield fences.  Where’d they put the center field fence?  Cuba?  It’s like they combined Petco with AT&T Park.  They have Cuban raftees floating just past the outfield fences.  You got humidity blowing in, fences 28 miles off the coast of Key West, my beautiful Giancarlo Stanton, whose boobies I’d gush over too, and now I got agita.  We should suggest in the comments what to call this pink and aqua-blue hot mess the Marlins call a stadium.  I got one idea, Unicornco.  Anyway, here’s what else happened yesterday in 2012 fantasy baseball:

Matt Holliday – 0-for-5 as he hit third.  Looks like that’s a big Pujols to fill.

Rafael Furcal – 3-for-5, 1 RBI (which isn’t a Ron Ben-Israel) and a steal.  This is something I’ve noticed in my *covers mouth* years covering fantasy baseball.  Old players get off to fast starts.  I think it has to do with them not being tired of the grind of the long season yet.  Their legs are still fresh.  You’ll see, Alfonso Soriano will start the year fast, Torii Hunter will start hot, etc. etc. etc.  There should be a name in the glossary for these old players that start hot.  Suggest in the comments.  Thank you.

David Freese – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs, 1 Run.  A nationally televised game and Freese turns into Babe Ruth.  I will now call you, The Primetime Kid.

Kyle Lohse – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 2 Hits, 3 Ks.  Last year, his April ERA was 1.64 and his May ERA was 2.57.  Okay, so there’s worse flyers for the early months of the season.

Hanley Ramirez – 0-for-4 and looked about as good at third, giving away at least two base hits.  Also, Reyes and Ramirez are really going out of their way to bring in a new Miami crowd.  Miguel Olivo’s probably soooo jealous.

Josh Johnson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 4 Ks.  On the bright side, he didn’t get injured.

Andrew Bailey – Underwent successful surgery in Cleveland, then visited the Jock and Skoal Hall of Fame, which features a glob of Lenny Dykstra’s used dip and an extracted mouth lesion from Terry Francona.

Alfredo Aceves – For a man that invented the sandwich wrap, Bobby Valentine is totally crackers.  Yesterday, he announced that Aceves would be the Sawx closer.  Let’s see, a pitcher who would be better in relief is in the rotation (Bard), a pitcher who saved games last year is in middle relief (Melancon) and a pitcher who whined that he wanted to start (Aceves) is the closer.  To recap — Huh, what, oh, okay, wait, what?  Valentine said Aceves would see the save if the Sawx were leading in the first game.  He didn’t say anything about game five or ten or twenty.  It may be needlessly nitpicky, but I think there’s something between the lines there.  Obviously, Aceves is the first one to own right now, but I wouldn’t drop Melancon if you have room.

Kyle Farnsworth – Diagnosed with an elbow strain that’s “not a major concern.”  And I’m getting an elbow strain from making the “jerking off” motion after hearing them say it’s “not a major concern.”  The Rays can spin this any way they like, but a pitcher with an elbow strain in April is a major concern.  I wouldn’t hesitate to grab Peralta, though the Rays are saying they may use a committee.  Is anything done better by committee besides jerk seasoning, which is flavor by committee?

Sean Rodriguez – Named the Rays starting shortstop…. And he’ll probably be benched at least twice a week unless he becomes a hot schmotato.

Jed Lowrie – Astros’ GM said he would wait until Friday to decide on whether or not he was going to DL Lowrie.  Sounds like even the Astros’ GM doesn’t own Lowrie in fantasy.

Devin Mesoraco – Dusty announced Hanigan would be the Opening Day starter.  Well, that stinks, but to take the sting away, Votto is buying a Lamborghini for the first 2,000 fans in attendance.

Hector Santiago – Robin Ventura has still said nothing about who’s the actual closer in Chicago.  This is ridiculous.  The season’s started already, name someone!  No wonder Nolan Ryan beat the crap out of him.  As of right now, I’d go with Matt Thornton, Hector Santiago, Addison Reed and Jesse Crain.  I have little to no confidence in that order.  So, as Al Pacino would scream at me, , “No, those closers are out of order!”

Brandon Belt – When Bochy lifted his giant melon out of bed yesterday, two things were on his mind.  First, I want to make Grey happy by having Brandon Belt make the Opening Day roster.  Second, I wonder if they make back support but for heads.  Can’t help on the second, but thank you and your giant cantaloupe for the first one.  Here’s what I said in the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball, “If Belt were guaranteed everyday playing time, Belt is capable of 25/10/.280, which would have him poised to be a top 5 1st baseman next year.  The problem is Bruce Bochy has a gigantic head, but a very small brain.  Hopefully he realizes Belt ties the entire Giants outfit together.  2012 Projections:  70/24/80/.280/10 (in 500 ABs)”  And that’s me getting very excited about Belt!  He still has great promise for a better tomorrow.  This message was brought to you by the Committee to Elect Grey Albright for Public Office and Stop Whoever Keeps Vandalizing the L Out of the Word Public.

Josh Outman – Hits the DL after he injured himself vomiting.  I thought only the players’ wives got injuries like that.  Anna Benson, “Finally a pitcher who understands me!”

419 Responses

  1. Schmohawks Bob says:
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    Grey, speaking of hot starts, you are on fire tonight (I’m in Hawaii until tomorrow so it’s still early). Typing after a couple of fruity drinks on an iPad so I’ll stop while I’m ahead. Aloha, but I still hate bobby v and robin for screwing up my to. The stupid iPad doesn’t let you type SAGNOF.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Schmohawks Bob, Have a good trip!

  2. SmooveM says:
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    Hey Grey – Four year blog-stalker, first time poster. I’m in an auction keeper (12 team 5×5, custom rosters but you’ll get the drift) and am feeling pretty wishy-washy on my team. See any glaring holes? Loves/Hates? Hopes/Aspirations? Thanks!

    C
    Devin Mesoraco
    1B
    Adrián González
    2B
    Jason Kipnis
    3B
    Ryan Zimmerman
    SS
    Zack Cozart
    IF
    Danny Espinosa
    OF
    Drew Stubbs
    OF
    Colby Rasmus
    OF
    Cameron Maybin
    OF
    Alex Gordon
    Util
    Ike Davis
    BN
    Elvis Andrus
    BN
    Álex Ríos
    DL
    Carlos Quentin

    SP
    Brandon Beachy
    SP
    Félix Hernández
    SP
    Ubaldo Jiménez
    RP
    Brian Wilson
    RP
    Jordan Walden
    RP
    Andrew Cashner
    P
    Matt Capps
    P
    Sean Marshall
    P
    Matt Thornton
    BN
    Daniel Hudson
    BN
    Mike Adams
    BN
    Koji Uehara

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @SmooveM, Pitching looks a bit stronger than it needs to be and the hitting looks a little light on power and high on speed… Team doesn’t look terrible though…

  3. Steve says:
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    Don’t be too hard on Alfredo – his numbers were decent last year, and did I mention he has SP eligibility?

    And ease up on the Marlins home run thingy. It’s just a bit of fun isn’t it?Save the energy for the important things. Like how the f*** does Kyle Lohse pull off that s***?

    @Bob – Aloha Bob, I can almost see you from here. Are you going to ride the Banzai Pipeline?

    • timSTi says:
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      @Steve, Regarding the SP eligibility; not in CBS :(

    • royce! says:
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      @Steve, I don’t know how Aceves managed such good numbers. His xFIP was 4.77, and his Ks were not great. Well, I guess I know how he ended up with those numbers- his HR/FB rate keeps going down. But I don’t know how he did that, and if I did, I would be doing it myself.

    • Simply Fred

      Simply Fred says:
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      @Steve, Marlins dead last with a pitiful runs scored of 85 in spring training. I know spring training doesn’t mean anything, but …not shocking that they didn’t hit–again.

  4. letsgobravos says:
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    This is pretty unimaginative, but the best marlins park name I can come up with this late is “FishCo.”

    I seem to remember a post a couple of weeks ago on the new park that assured me that Stanton would still hit a million bombs this year. Can’t remember if it was Rudy or someone else who authored it. Hopefully last night was a fluke, but I’m feeling a little less awesome about my 2nd round selection of Giancarolo in my last draft.

    • Paulie Allnuts

      Paulie Allnuts says:
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      @letsgobravos, Ditto. My opening combo of Puhols and Giancarlo seems a bit diminished.

      Had my finger on Furcal as a streamer for the day, then picked up some other schmohawk. Gotta polish off that Chrystal ball real soon.

    • The save chaser says:
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      @letsgobravos, That park plays like the polo grounds..I’m thrilled that I passed on gargantua in every draft I was in. I’m not a big fan of Adam Dunn circa 2009 in the 2nd round and certainly not hitting in that home park.

      • Paulie Allnuts

        Paulie Allnuts says:
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        @The save chaser, the difference being that the Polo grounds had a left field fowl pole under 280′ from home plate, whereas Unicornco left field foul pole measures between 330′-340′, depending on the source. So it doesn’t reward pull hitters either. I wish I knew more about the park before drafting.

        • TheNewGuy says:
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          @Paulie Allnuts, So maybe gargantua won’t have that massive breakout we’re expecting then…dang..grabbed him in 28th pick in my 16 teamer, seemed nice value at the time.

          • Paulie Allnuts

            Paulie Allnuts says:
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            @TheNewGuy, Maybe not. In any case, he will have to be a road warrior. Mid-season trade to Coors Field would be nice.

            On a devious note, maybe I can quickly trade him before my league partners catch this article:)

            • AL KOHOLIC says:
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              @Paulie Allnuts, we see you

              • Paulie Allnuts

                Paulie Allnuts says:
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                @AL KOHOLIC, I know. You guys don’t miss a thing!

                • chata says:
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                  @Paulie Allnuts,

                  i’ll take him off your hands .
                  shoot me an offer .

                  • Paulie Allnuts

                    Paulie Allnuts says:
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                    @chata, Ha! Unless you have a handle I don’t recognize, I don’t think that you are in my league. But I will stick with Giancarlo nevertheless…

    • Jay29 says:
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      @letsgobravos, I second FishCo, assuming it really does play as a pitcher’s park.

  5. Aaron Oz says:
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    Old players that start off hot – how bout “Early Bird Specials”

    I don’t have any suggestions for the new Miami park, but with that color scheme I fully expected Max Headroom to appear on the Jumbotron as the new PA.

    • Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
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      @Aaron Oz, “Early Bird Specials” has nice double meaning that’s gonna be hard to beat.

    • Jangles says:
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      @Aaron Oz, Nice!

    • RichC says:
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      @Aaron Oz, got my vote! (for what it’s worth…)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Aaron Oz, Solid entry, I’ll run it by Rudy.

  6. Bill_Buckner says:
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    @Grey, “There should be a name in the glossary for these old players that start hot.”

    How about “fizzler pull and deal” (not to be confused with twizzler pull and peal)?

    Or a veterspin because you invariably have to trade these veterans before they become useless in a few weeks…

    If these are awful, just take me out to the back yard and put me out of my misery like an old dog that chews his own leg and chases invisible rabbits…

    • Bill_Buckner says:
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      @Bill_Buckner, one last suggestion: April fools – older players that prank you by making you drop someone useful for them only to have them return to their suckitude in a few weeks.

      • royce! says:
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        @Bill_Buckner, April Fools is pretty funny.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @Bill_Buckner, April Fools isn’t terrible.

      • TheNewGuy says:
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        @Bill_Buckner, Ha yeah like that too. Simple yet effective.

      • chata says:
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        @Bill_Buckner,

        i like April Fools ,
        but it seems like it applies more to owners who draft those older guys .

  7. TheNewGuy says:
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    Think the best performance from opening night was saved for the end from what I saw. Jason Motte throwing 99mph gasoline to strike out Hanley, then some 92mph change/split thing to K Stanton…flat out NASTY.

    Glad I have him on one of my teams this year (emoticon). Could rack up the saves in STL.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @TheNewGuy, Yup

  8. DrEasy says:
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    Some schmohawk dilemmas:

    Furcal, Alcides or Pastornicky?
    Moreland, Ibanez or Luke Scott?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @DrEasy, Pastronicky for now…Moreland…

  9. TheNewGuy says:
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    Grey have Minor and Holland as my no 6/7 starters in my 10 team league (still trying to trade a pitcher for a bat). 1600 innings cap, obviously my other guys are the throw em out each start type (MadBum, Cain, Lester etc). But how would you approach starting Minor and Holland early on, save them just for favourable matchups? Would that mean pass on Holland first up (CWS) and pitch Minor (@NYM)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @TheNewGuy, Sounds about right…

  10. ritzer says:
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    I’m thinking ‘Creaky Spring Chickens’ but I’v no copyright claim if someone wants to play around with it.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @ritzer, Not crazy about it…

  11. Broseph says:
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    Ackley and R Howard
    for
    Cuddyer, Dunn, Aviles

    Which side do you take?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Broseph, Cuddyer

  12. My vote is for May-December shmomance. At first you don’t care what others think that you’re in bed with Rafael Furcal but you know it’s inappropriate and creepy, and can’t last.

    And @Grey, you are trending nicely towards receiving that celebratory round of belts for you and your friends if Brandon (The Baby Giraffe) Top 5 1B in 2013 hits 90% of your 2012 projections in 4 categories. And that’s me quoting my original comment.

    I have Farnsworth, Peralta is taken, pick up McGee and drop Pestano?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @The Miracles, re: Belt — Ha! re: May-December — Not crazy about it… Sure lose Pestano…

  13. barker says:
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    for the older players how about “hot flashers”

    soriano may be good now but we all know hes just a hot flasher and will turn back into alf soriano by early may

    got nothing on the new park

    16 team trade question league count hlds

    i give gallardo and pineda i get kershaw and gregerson

    my other starters verlander moore harrison baker
    other relievers motte myers melancon casilla

    no brainer right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @barker, That’s not terrible… Yeah, get Kershaw…

  14. Piranhaman says:
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    hi, Grey. wanna get an advice from you. which team wins the trade?

    I get Logan Morrison

    he gets Jeremy Hellickson.

    this is one for one. my league is 10 team roto. and this is my team.

    C- Wieters
    1B- Pujols
    2B- Cuddyer
    3B- Lawrie
    SS- Hanley
    IF- Butler
    OF- J. Upton
    Bruce
    Gardner
    Kendrys
    Util- Delmon
    Dunn
    BN- W. Ramos
    Cozart
    DL- Allen Craig

    SP- Grienke
    Haren
    RP- Motte
    Marshall
    P- Balfour
    Bumgarner
    Ubaldo
    Zimmermann
    BN- McCarthy
    Minor
    DL- Storen

    our league also counts OPS and I expect LoMo could over .800. how do you think about this? thanks for reading.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Piranhaman, Morrison

  15. elwood blues says:
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    Back to drafting Dom. Brown in a NL Only Minor League draft in the 1st round.
    Likely choices besides him would be may be G.Cole, Skaggs.. other hitters may be G.Brown, Yelich, Grandal, or S.Marte.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @elwood blues, I’d take Brown…

  16. zombiehead says:
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    old players who start off hot….Fart Starts….what to call Marlins Stadium….DonkeyKongCo

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @zombiehead, Not crazy about them…

  17. Baseball Boobies! That remarkable Reyes and Ramirez photo! (They clearly deserve a long blissful life of watching outs dribble between them; together in Unicornco.) AND a Mrs. Benson reference to get the season going, outstanding Grey!
    & a humble submission of “Premature Statisticulation” for when the old guys shoot their stats within the first month.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @zombie, Thanks! I like that one… Will run by Rudy…

  18. Eddie says:
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    I’m standing by “Six Flags Over Ozzie”. That thing is an atrocity to behold.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Eddie, Hehe

  19. 2 Cups 1 Braun says:
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    There should be a name in the glossary for these old players that start hot…..”Viagra Vets”

    Come out of the gate hot and then go cold pretty quickly

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @2 Cups 1 Braun, Not crazy about it…

      • Mr2Bits says:
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        @Grey, Impossible to please. Wasn’t it you who advised people to lower their standards as it will be better for both of us??

  20. Bill_Buckner says:
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    How about Rainbowco for the stadium. Or Bob Ross’ wetdream-co…

    • Chunk says:
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      @Bill_Buckner, ….Yea, and why don’t we add some happy fish tanks over behind home plate…. Yea, just like that…. With some happy little fishies, just swimmin’ around…..Yea.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Bill_Buckner, Not terrible, think there’s better…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @2 Cups 1 Braun, Ha… I know who Richard Simmons is…

  21. stynyr says:
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    10 team, 5×5

    Got Lind, Hardy and Bourjos as my Util’s and Bench guys. Drop one for Belt?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @stynyr, Hardy

  22. BSW says:
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    HA HA HA, I can’t get Adam’s song out of my head. “Hey, Hey, this is a baseball show Razzball b-baseball show, razzball b-baseball show pod-cast” You guys obviously know absolutely nothing about music or Adam would have won the coveted giftcard. Stick to you day jobs, whatever those are…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @BSW, Ha!

  23. El Famous Burrito says:
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    Remember that old NES game Excitebike? When you’d ride over one of those arrows on the ground, you’d go really fast for a short period of time, but then your motorcycle would start to overheat, and you’d have to pull over for a while and rest? Alfonso Soriano is on his Excitebike. He’ll be in the red by May 15.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @El Famous Burrito, Pretty good, needs a lot of explaining…

  24. MisterMister says:
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    Regarding vets with abnormally fast starts: I’d call them “bluepillers” – similar to the Viagra Vets idea above, but less corporate!

    Actually, looking through other comments, calling someone like Furcal an “Early Bird Special” has an even better ring to it. You get the age factor in, and it also very clearly gets across that this abnormal value won’t last. Plus, you’ll be ready to drop the mike and go home on the day an “Early Bird Special” gets a Slam and Legs.

    Heh. My first comment here, and I talk myself out of my own idea! Oh well… there’s no I in Razzball, right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @MisterMister, Ha! I do like Early Bird Special better too…

  25. Pete says:
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    12 team H2H Keeper league, 6×6 ops qs
    Need 1B, thinking about trying for Belt.

    Thinking Moustakas $6 for Belt $4. Team has already tried for Mous. I’m considering trying for Lawrie or Beltre since both are cheap to keep and both are on the same team that has Longoria.

    Whatcha think?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Pete, Sounds good…

  26. schlitzy says:
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    I’ve been calling it fishCo and LimeCo but I don’t have a creative bone in my body and I hate myself for not being able to think of something better. Opening day at MetCo (those walls really came in and lower, will it still be a “Co”?) will help me get over it.

    • PastaMan says:
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      @schlitzy, Aw man. Didn’t see u used lime in ur propOpsed stadium name. My bad

    • LA Sound Guy says:
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      Tank is a noun or verb.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @LA Sound Guy, Yeah, Early Bird Special is good…

  27. Ol' Wes says:
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    Old players that start out great- a Hot Furcarl.

    Furcal may start out great but he will take a dump on your stats in a month.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ol’ Wes, Not crazy about it…

  28. Cole says:
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    If anyone has a roster spot available for tomorrow, pick up Carlos Gomez. He is starting against the lefty and has homered on opening day the last two years in a row. Also he has 2 dingers this week. Then you can make the proud strut to the FA list and drop him for some turd of a SAGNOF.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Cole, Thanks for the heads up!

  29. Squanto Esperanto says:
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    Lots of good suggestions for the old-timers off to fast starts. I was thinking maybe calling such players “Benny Butts” as an allusion to the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story in which a chap named Benjamin Button lives his life in reverse, starting out as an adult and then regressing into a pathetic, helpless crying baby. The name also evokes memories of Billy Batts getting stomped to death in Goodfellas, which always puts a smile on my face. My antediluvian baby, oh yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Squanto Esperanto, I like Early Bird Special better…

  30. SanFran1966 says:
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    For all you old guys who remember Harold Baines as rook and fell asleep in your Archie Bunker recliners last night, the balls Furcal and Morrison hit late in the game carried well…there is hope for Stanton and my prize second round selection…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @SanFran1966, That’s true….

  31. golfnut says:
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    I’m thinking the stadium should be called MarCo PoloCo……you have to wander around aimlessly before finding the fence!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @golfnut, Ha, that’s not bad… I kinda like UnicornCo better, but I might be bias.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @John, Yup

  32. Freddie the flute says:
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    Faneffintastic. Your killing me Grey ROFL… 1st thing in the morning the 3 s’s pour the 1st cup of coffee, boot up the laptop right to razzball. “HR Puffin stuff ” BOOM spit take all over lappy. I still have nightmares 47 years later. I think Reyes and HanRam stole HR’s hair dye as well. Mushrooms must be back in vogue. Holy S. Thanks for the advice and the laughs.

    Freddie

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Freddie the flute, Thanks!

  33. Graveyard Duck says:
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    They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies! I am gushing over baseball’s boobies!

    Wow Grey, you really are high on Billy Butler this year!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Graveyard Duck, Ha!

  34. StantonLikeMyDaddy says:
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    UNICORNUCOPIA

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @StantonLikeMyDaddy, I kinda like mine better…

  35. nightpandas says:
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    15 team league (7×7 with strikeouts and OPS), think I can get Hamilton for Boneface and Jim Johnson? or am I dreaming?

    My reasoning….I need a better LF, the other owner already has a starting a LF in Gordon and a starting CF in Bourn and also only has 2 closers

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @nightpandas, Probably

  36. 2qbn says:
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    New name for Marlins Park, Loria in the Sky with Diamonds.

    I’ll be there next week. I’m bringing my kaleidoscope eyes.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @2qbn, Ha! Bit long though…

  37. Smell The Glove says:
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    For the new Marlins Stadium I’d go with:

    Estadio Magnifico!

    And you must picture a 40-50 year old man of Latin American decent who owns a gift shop with his life partner in Key West saying it.

    For the older players who get off to hot starts, Early Bird Special has my vote.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Smell The Glove, Yeah, we like Early Bird too… It’s funny when you picture that person saying it…

  38. Purewater says:
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    Old guys that start fast: Bubblicious. You put that sugary gum in your mouth and for the first few chews you’re in heaven and then about 2 minutes into it you’re wondering who replaced your Bubblicious with cardboard.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Purewater, I like Early Bird better…

  39. RK says:
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    Perhaps the ode to Miro is an attempt to re-attract FC Barcelona to buy that Miami MLS team that they had talked about…¿Camp Nou? (which it is) ¿Camp Naranja? ¿Camp Marlin?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @RK, Ha!

  40. papasmurf says:
    (link)

    I was wondering if the Outman got injured in the outhouse. Guess not since it was coming out the other end.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @papasmurf, Ha!

  41. Freddie the flute says:
    (link)

    Parque Pepper Sgt or shagging fly’s

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Freddie the flute, Not crazy about them…

  42. Commish Cauda says:
    (link)

    16-team, H2H-POINTS League (BB=1, SO=-1, SB=3, 1B=1, 2B=2, etc.)

    I waited on SS…and then waited some more. Then missed out on Cozart. Sigh.

    I ended up with Pastornicky and Sean Rodriguez

    Any of the following better options?

    Darwin Barney
    Daniel Descalso
    Tyler Greene
    Kyle Seager
    Chris Getz

    • Sweeney says:
      (link)

      @Commish Cauda, I don’t think any of those are better options today, but if either starts losing starts I would go to Barney first.

  43. Jim says:
    (link)

    Old guys who start fast then are done, “Premature Ejockulaters”.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Jim, Not bad, I like Early Bird better…

  44. Freddie the flute says:
    (link)

    One good thing about “Parque Pepper” we won’t be seeing Jim Morrisons nightmare come to life to often in center field.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Freddie the flute, Ha

  45. PastaMan says:
    (link)

    Marlins new ball park: Caverna Lime
    Old players off to hot starts: Pseudo Aging Scorchers or PASs (Ex: Vladimir Guerrero Is at the peak of his PASsing)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @PastaMan, Not terrible, I like Early Bird better…

      • Chris says:
        (link)

        @Grey, @PastaMan,

        I personally like this one the best of the bunch. Agreed with Rudy that the -co’s are feeling forced and effectively Caverna Lime breaks that mold. It rolls off the tongue, while also conveying the flamboyant color and monstrous size of the stadium. Also has that little bit of latino flair in the name too.

        A+ effort.

  46. Doug dwcinces says:
    (link)

    Those old players are Ulysses (Tennyson’s):

    Though much is taken, much abides; and though
    We are not now that strength which in old days
    Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are—
    One equal temper of heroic hearts,
    Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
    To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Doug dwcinces, Nice username… I like Early Bird better…

  47. Eddy says:
    (link)

    Quite surprised that the Blue Jays are hitting Lawrie third. Usually they throw someone down in the order and gradually move him up.

    Definitely going to benefit from having Bautista behind him.

    • TheNewGuy says:
      (link)

      @Eddy, Grabbed him with the 38th pick in my 16 teamer (3rd round) this year. Early I know but I wanted a good 3B and it was him or old Paul Konerko who could decline at any stage- wanted the upside. Im all in on Lawrie this year, kids totally legit, watch him outperform Hosmer.

    • RK says:
      (link)

      @Eddy, i just read “Toronto Blue Jays OF Jose Bautista is hitting third in the Opening Day lineup Thursday, April 5. There was an earlier report that 3B Brett Lawrie was hitting third. He’s hitting sixth.”

      • Eddy says:
        (link)

        @RK, Ah, OK, that makes sense.

  48. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    “I gave up throwing up for Lent. Jesus saves, we’ll see about Kyle”…Julianna Zobrist *she makes the “jerking off” motion.*
    “Now let’s get all those jerk-seasoners in a circle.”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up, Ha!

  49. MH says:
    (link)

    I’m guessing Aceves is getting the nod for AL East bias. That doesn’t explain why Bard is still starting, but I think that’s why he got the nod over Melancon.

    Thank god too. After Madson went down my relief corps was a mess, and now I have like 10 relievers on my roster, many of whom may not actually be any good, lol. I’m currently rolling with Aceves, Thornton, Santiago, Holland, Broxton, and Lidge. Yikes. My SP feel strongish enough that I’ll be okay once I sift through the muck on these guys, plus my offense is strong enough to deal from, but yeah, agita, you said it.

  50. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    I don’t think it really works as a stadium name, but the whole monstrosity made me shart-out “Carnivawful”.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up, It really is…

  51. yibberat says:
    (link)

    Ok it’s sick but the name for the old guys who get off to quick starts is – Post-Mature Ejaculators (or Exhilarators – or PME’s for the NSFW crowd).

    At least they peak after the season starts rather than in spring training

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @yibberat, Not terrible, but I like Early Bird better…

      • yibberat says:
        (link)

        @Grey, but it does lend possibilities to those oldsters who actually peak in spring training and then get injured or put on the disabled list when the season starts – the premature postmature – PMPME’s

  52. TualatinTwoStep says:
    (link)

    *insert old guy here* is having a Viagrapril!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @TualatinTwoStep, Eh

  53. Heh heh. You’ve got some good choices for glossary terms for hot-starting vets. I like Early Bird Specials and April Fools.

    A couple of lineup questions.

    I’ve got Rasmus on a couple of teams and my natural inclination would be to start him because of Masterson’s historic problems with lefties. But in the two Blue Jays’ spring training games I saw, he looked lost at the plate and I was resigned to thinking he might need time to figure things out this year. Would you start him?

    Also, any reason not to start Bedard against the Phillies in a 16-team roto league? I know facing Halladay is no holiday. But Bedard’s healthy, he’s pitched well against Philly in the past, and the Phillies have some key injuries. Am I missing something? He may not get the win but he’s not likely to pitch badly, is he?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Enrique, Yeah, I like Early Bird… I’d start both…

  54. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
    (link)

    Some more baseball predictions (guess the source)

    Adam Dunn hits 40 home runs.
    Francisco Liriano is a top-10 fantasy pitcher this year.
    Thirty home runs for Mike Carp
    Alfonso Soriano goes 35/100.
    Erik Bedard wins the NL Cy Young
    Adam Wainwright is a top-five pitcher
    Double-digit wins and 175 strikeouts for Carlos Zambrano.

    Clue – this guy finished 15th out of the 16 as per accuracy in the 2011 fantasy prognosticators as per Rudy Gamble.

    • RK says:
      (link)

      @Paulie Allnuts, that’s disingeniune, as the article states “This is my bold predictions piece. For a prediction to be bold, of course, it is not likely to happen. “.

      • Paulie Allnuts

        Paulie Allnuts says:
        (link)

        @RK, Dunno, that lets the author pretty much off the hook. If the prediction comes true, he can take credit for it and his admirers state that he is a genius. If it goes wrong; well, I didn’t really expect it to happen anyway. As for myself, if I make a bold prediction, I believe that it not only will come true, but shock the world. So no, I don’t believe that these choices were disingenuous; I believe that they are the sign of latent idiocy. But that is only me; others may disagree.

        • Wilsonian says:
          (link)

          @Paulie Allnuts, concur.

        • @Paulie Allnuts, Seems like I’ve been seeing more of these bold predictions posts this year. Makes for interesting (if headscratching) reading but not very helpful unless Vegas is taking prop bets and they put money on those bold predictions…

          • Dirty Jar says:
            (link)

            @Rudy Gamble, Well, it gives you guys a new post for next year, see who gets the highest percentage of bold predictions correct. Still won’t really be fantasy relevant though.

        • RK says:
          (link)

          @Paulie Allnuts, for me, it was just a fun article, not to be used for anything but that — especially since it comes right around Opening Day, after most drafts are done.

          • Simply Fred

            Simply fred says:
            (link)

            @RK, give me a freakin’ break from your non-sense. Readers look to bold predictions articles to find promising players that may have fallen under the radar. Be honest with yourself. You totally missed the mark. It is ok. Just post your stuff as ridiculously absurd predictions. If you want to be taken seriously, be serious.

  55. mrobs says:
    (link)

    Hooray for baseball…. Hooray for Grey’s daily roundup.

    Glossary suggestion:

    FloCo or FlorCo

    (would have been better when they were still the Marlins of Florida)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @mrobs, Not crazy about them…

  56. larryjoebird says:
    (link)

    Pastel Park?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @larryjoebird, Not bad… Doesn’t say big though…

      • larryjoebird says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Pastelco

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @larryjoebird, Rudy’s saying the -co’s are feeling forced…

          • larryjoebird says:
            (link)

            @Grey, true. How about Miami Vise, or Miami Vise Grip?

  57. Greg Norton says:
    (link)

    Old Sharts – They start off good (like a fart) but then end up shitting on you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Greg Norton, I like Early Bird better…

  58. Freddie the flute says:
    (link)

    Can’t wait for blacklight friday with dayglo uni’s,balls and bats.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Freddie the flute, Ha!

  59. Freddie the flute says:
    (link)

    Alright time to go to work. Thanks again Grey I’ll be laughing all day

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Freddie the flute, No problem…

  60. Paul says:
    (link)

    Should I offer Delmon $16 for Belt $16?

    If the guy rejects trade, should I add Street $25 for Perkins $2?

    The dollars are cost to keep next year.

    I currently have F-Her, D.Hudson, Luebke, Moore, Anibal in the rotation. Relievers are Street, Betancourt, Balfour, Aceves, Meloncon, Walden.

    My hitters are Avila, Ike, Espinosa, Tulo, Aramis, Braun, Victorino, Duda, Delmon, Cain, Cozart, Moustakas

    12 team mixed c,1b,2b,3b,ss,3xOF, util and 1450IP

    I like that Belt can play 1st. With Duda and Ike on the same team, I can never make up missed games on off days.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Paul, I’d take Belt

  61. Big Jgke says:
    (link)

    How about ‘Silver Fox’ because its hilarious and they’re using their veteran wiles?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Big Jgke, I like Early Bird better…

  62. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    I’m throwing in my vote for Early Bird Special.

    I think the UnicornCo looks like a cross between a gay pride parade, Mardi Gras, and terrible chotchkies for sale on the streets of Miami. I don’t have a name for it, I’m not nearly that clever, but that is one flamboyantly ugly stadium.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian, Yup

  63. RTP says:
    (link)

    Need an early spot start tmrw to rack up some P stats in the short first week. Who do u like best….

    Chen @ LAA
    Guthrie @ HOU
    Vargas @ OAK
    Pavano @ BAL
    Arrieta vs MIN

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @RTP, Vargas, Guthrie…

  64. The Situation says:
    (link)

    @Grey: You said you would have Belt between Napoli and Ike if Belt were guaranteed PT. Now that he is guaranteed PT (at least for the time being), how far do you move him up your Top 300 rankings from his current spot at 202? If you were moving him up between Napoli and Ike this would put him right around 100 overall. Is there where you’d have him?

    Drop Cahill (my 6th starter) for him (I’d have Belt, Duda, Goldie and Delmon for my final two utility spots and the other two would be on the bench)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @The Situation, Drop Cahill for him…

  65. Phil says:
    (link)

    I like Early Bird Special, but I also think Bucket Listers should be thrown in to the ring.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Phil, Yeah, not bad…

  66. Freddie the flute says:
    (link)

    One last thing Grey. In your honor the 1st person I pullover today that knows who HR Puff in Stuff is gets out of a ticket.

    Later

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Freddie the flute, That’s awesome!

  67. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:
    (link)

    Wind blowin’ in at 17 mph at Wrigley today. Go Stras!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Simply Fred, Nice

  68. Clodbuster says:
    (link)

    AARPril nookie!

    Selig is an idiot.

    • Clodbuster says:
      (link)

      @Clodbuster,

      Flamingco?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Clodbuster, That’s not bad at all… Early Bird bit easier to say…

  69. kingadrock says:
    (link)

    I need to drop a MR. Should it be Bobby Parnell or Melancon?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @kingadrock, Parnell

  70. SpecialFNK says:
    (link)

    16 team, keeper (1st year), yahoo, 5×5, roto.

    should I do this? NEED saves.
    give- Paul Konerko, Adam Jones, Michael Brantley
    get- Sin Soo Choo, Sergio Santos, Matt Joyce

    team..
    1B- Konerko, 2B- Uggla, 3B- Zimmerman, SS- Gonzalez, IN- Butler, OF- Jones, OF- Presley, OF- Brantley, OF- Murphy, UT- CDavis, BN- Parmelee, Guzman, AlEscobar, Revere, DL- Gutierrez
    SP- Price, SP- Beachy, RP- Thornton, RP- HSantiago, P- Melancon, P- DHernandez, P- Clippard, BN- Wood, Brothers, Luebke, Jimenez, DHolland, DL- Lilly, Baker, BAnderson

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @SpecialFNK, It’s fair

  71. Ryan says:
    (link)

    I am in a 20 team h2h dynasty league. I think my team needs more speed. I was offered gordon and dan hudson for my lester and crawford. Do I consider this trade?

    c jp arencibia
    1b miguel cabrera
    2b neil walker
    ss yunel escobar
    3b evan longoria
    inf prince fielder
    lf carl crawford
    cf peter bourjos
    rf justin upton
    of carlos lee
    util vernon wells
    bn ryan lavernway
    Bn miguel Sano
    Bn mat gamel
    sp clayton kershaw
    sp cliff lee
    sp ubaldo jiminez
    sp jon lester
    rp jason motte
    rp matt throton
    rp matt reynolds
    rp matt capps
    p scott downs
    p brad peacock
    bn aaron harang
    bn scott downs
    bn garrett richards
    bn blake beaven
    bn brian matusz

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Ryan, How do you still have Fielder? No, that’s not a good trade…

  72. Steve Stevenson says:
    (link)

    H2H 6×6 (TB and QS are additional cats), Garza and Swisher for CJ Wilson and Rasmus? What about for Cain and Rasmus?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Steve Stevenson, Sure, try Cain…

  73. ritzer says:
    (link)

    I just got offered BJ Upton for my Ichiro.Standard 5 cats + OBP and Net Steals. I’m think do it. What you think?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @ritzer, I’d take Upton…

      • ritzer says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Thanks …done.

  74. FuzzyD says:
    (link)

    uggh…How bout a name for that pic of Ramirez and Reyes: Miami Bleach

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @FuzzyD, Ha!

  75. Grey's da man! says:
    (link)

    Now that Belt is the starter – Lind vs. Belt?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Grey’s da man!, Lind

  76. Hawk says:
    (link)

    For fast starting players who fade: Spring flings

    For the Miami park: Pastel Canyon (or Cavern)

    I like Early Bird Specials for the double entendre but it doesn’t quite capture the meaning, imo.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Hawk, Maybe on those stadium names… Not bad…

  77. PastaMan says:
    (link)

    Grey & Rudy,
    Can you explain why Daniel Hudson is ranked significantly higher than Ian Kennedy. Their FIP are essentially the same, Ian has a better k/9 and lower whip. My guess is that you will say Hudson’s minor league numbers suggest his k/9 should trend up, but even then Ian should still have the edge in whip. Please explain yourselves :)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @PastaMan, Your guess is right…

  78. Bosmosis says:
    (link)

    Old players who start hot and cool off:

    Grande Crappuccino

    It’s cold before you’re halfway done. And it has the massive turd imagery going for it.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Bosmosis, Ha! I like Early Bird better, but that’s funny…

  79. PublicEnemy#1 says:
    (link)

    Old guys who get off to hot starts:
    Pre-Rigor Mortis Twitching

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @PublicEnemy#1, Eh

  80. Seymour says:
    (link)

    10 team, H2H 7×7 (Walks, XBH, CG, SHO)
    C Molina (20)
    1B Fielder (2)
    2B Uggla (5)
    SS A. Ramirez (15)
    3B Longoria (1)
    OF Pence (6)
    OF Berkman (8)
    OF Victorino (9)
    Util A. Jones (10)
    Util Reynolds (12)
    BN Tabata (21)
    BN Espinoso (22)
    BN L. Cain (23)
    SP Lincecum (3)
    SP F. Hernandex (4)
    SP Gallardo (7)
    SP A. Sanchez (13)
    RP Valverde (11)
    RP Marmol (17)
    P Street (16)
    P Francisco (18)
    BN Cueto (17)
    BN Jansen (19)

    My team is light on speed, so considering dropping Jansen, Tabata, Cain or Espinosa for Coco Crisp. Jansen is basically riding the bench for me unless I give him one of four available RP/P spot that are currently filled by confirmed closers. And Coco could be a nice source of 4 category production if he bats third all year…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Seymour, You’re dropping speed guys for a different speed guy? Eh…

  81. Grey's da man! says:
    (link)

    Also – I need a 1B. What do you think about:

    I give C. Santana and J. Chacin

    I get: Konerko and Avila

    Would you still do it if I was giving Ubaldo and Santana? (12 team 5×5 scoring rotisserie – I have 6 other SP you have ranked better than Ubaldo)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Grey’s da man!, Sounds fair… I would…

  82. Old guys who start off strong: Mandelbaums.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @botkin, That’s pretty good… I think Early Bird slightly better…

  83. nightpandas says:
    (link)

    A bit long but, “over the hill thrills”? They are fun while they last….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @nightpandas, Eh…

  84. Big Magoo says:
    (link)

    Old vet who starts fast and fades: April Fool’s Gray

    It’s got the early season/mirage/graybeard thing covered. I like Early Bird Special too but I agree with Hawk that it needs further explanation to know what you’re referring to.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Big Magoo, Yeah, Early Bird’s better…

  85. xopchipili says:
    (link)

    Home of the Fish = WetCo

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @xopchipili, Ha… That’s not bad at all…

  86. timSti says:
    (link)

    Anyone staring Volquez today vs LAD? I’m starting Kershaw as well.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @timSti, I would…

  87. dingers says:
    (link)

    old guys who start out fast- Geezer Teaser

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @dingers, Ha… That’s not bad, I think Early Birds is slightly better…

      • chata says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        reading down to here , i think you must have stated that you are going with Early Birds Special at least 2 dozen times .

        i was beginning to wonder why these guys couldn’t get the point that you had made up your mind , already , and that the issue was settled .
        why were they still offering up suggestions ??

        BUT , ….. Geezer Teaser is the better option , and you know it .
        so , sleep on it .
        back-track , if you must .
        but make the correct choice .

        cust truthin’

  88. KeeblerMN says:
    (link)

    Cubacco (tobacco) is bad for your health.. and HR’s.

    Oh and for the record, I still think you should go with my original idea of Targetco for Target field…. no I’m not bitter… really.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @KeeblerMN, Rudy and I are thinking Pastel Canyon…

  89. Bill Lumbergh says:
    (link)

    Those Marlins Park colors are horrible. I nominate Crayola Park.

    • Hawk says:
      (link)

      @Bill Lumbergh,

      I LOL’ed at this.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Bill Lumbergh, Funny, maybe Crayola Canyon…

      • Bill Lumbergh says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Nice addition – I love it!

      • Bill Lumbergh says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Since it does have the retractable roof you might also consider calling it the “Crayola Cavern”. Either way, think I can get credit for an assist in the Razzball Glossary?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yup… I think I like Canyon better but it’s under advisement…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @RichC, Ha…Thinking maybe Crayola Canyon…

      • Hawk says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        That’s a winner.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @Hawk, Yeah, I like it too.

  90. yuuup says:
    (link)

    gotta start verlander even against BOS, right?

    • Hawk says:
      (link)

      @yuuup,

      You always start Verlander.

  91. Eddy says:
    (link)

    Lidge and Henry Rodriguez to alternate saves.

  92. RichC says:
    (link)

    Grey best choice as 5th OF or UTIL spot: Reimold or Thames?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @RichC, Thames

  93. mrobs says:
    (link)

    “Miami Vast”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @mrobs, Ha, not bad…

  94. cubbies299 says:
    (link)

    “Old Fart Fast Start”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @cubbies299, Hehe… Early Bird is better…

  95. Clinton says:
    (link)

    fast starters = premature ejaculators….they peak early and are too tired to do anything else after

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Clinton, Prefer Early Bird…

  96. yankees2012 says:
    (link)

    Hello Grey! We are starting up a Yahoo Auction League and I wanted to know if you have any suggested prices for players. I have seen the table in your Rankings Tab that appears to compare 10 Team and 12 Team ESPN and Yahoo Leagues, but are they your suggested rankings in the table or simply the averages from those leagues?

    My apologies if this request is confusing.

    Thanks much Grey and please continue the great work!

      • yankees2012 says:
        (link)

        @Grey,
        Thanks much. One more question if I may. Your (and Rudy’s) recommendation in the notes below the table indicate you two prefer the $165/$95 split in a 12 Team League. If we are in a 10 Team with 10 Hitters and 9 Pitchers, which of the three cartegories
        on that table would you prefer?

        I hope that makes sense. Thanks again Grey.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @yankees2012, I go around 180/80…

  97. John Axford Meat Stache says:
    (link)

    Did my final draft last night. CBS Sports ranking are wacky as hell, yoh. It’s a twelve team league, H2H. No BA or OBP, but counts singles as a point, doubles as two, so on. Stolen Bases are two points. Pitchers get a point for every inning, two for K’s, two for saves, and so on. Max 9 SP, 3 RP. Lineups set up at beginning of week. Waiver line $1 per move. A weird league none the less. Think I picked a monster team though.

    C-Miguel Montero (Round 14)
    1st-Joey Votto (Round 1)
    2nd-Kelly Johnson (Round 12)
    SS-Starlin Castro (Round 6)
    3rd-Evan Longoria (Round 2)
    OF-Giancarlo Stanton (Round 4)
    OF-Jay Bruce (Round 5)
    OF-Emilio Boneface (Round 8)
    Util-Michael Cuddyer (Round 9)
    Reserve-Mike Moustakas (Round 16)
    Reserve-Coco Crisp (Round 19)
    Reserve-Jose Altuve (Round 22)
    Reserve-Mike Trout (Round 24)

    SP-Jered Weaver (Round 3)
    SP-Gio Gonzalez (Round 7)
    SP-Brandon Beachy (Round 10)
    SP- Cory Luebke (Round 12)
    SP- Ryan Dempster (Round 15)
    RP- Sergio Santos (Round 13)
    RP- Jason Motte (Round 17)
    Reserve- Shaun Marcum (Round 18)
    Reserve- Jhoulys Chacin (Round 20)
    Reserve- Kenley Jansen (Round 21)
    Reserve- Drew Pomeranz (Round 23)
    Reserve- Jerrod Parker (Round 25)

    Whadda ya think, Grey. Championship Potential or what?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @John Axford Meat Stache, Does look like a powerhouse… Probably cause CBS’s rankings are so bad… Or you’re so good…

      • John Axford Meat Stache says:
        (link)

        @Grey, no CBS gets full responsibility for this team. Worse than Matthew “Sweet” Berry the way they rank.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @John Axford Meat Stache, Ha… You sound like Yoda.

    • chata says:
      (link)

      @John Axford Meat Stache,

      these types of CBS leagues are almost always won on SP’s .
      had you checked CBS’ vast accumulation of past performances ,
      (i.e year by year top point scorers) , you probably would have
      selected SP’s with your first 5 picks .

  98. tenacioudeucer says:
    (link)

    “ApocalyptiCo Park” in honor of the apocryphal 5th horseman who, according to lost scripture, shall ride a glorious sea beast out of the depths of the Atlantic and lay a duke bomb of glitter and shame upon a sinful metropolis signalling the oncoming end-of-days. Joining Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death, this harbinger of woe shall be named Douchery and he shall instill regret, motion sickness, and weak slugging stats upon all mortals within his sweeping grasp.

    Pretty awesome, right? Right? Hey come back, guys! Mangosteen and goji berry smoothies on me… hey wait up!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      HA! I don’t think it’s better than Crayola Canyon…

  99. ThE sHiT says:
    (link)

    @Grey: I had to pickup a bat when BJ went to the DL, so i chose Belt over Thames, Moose, Rasmus, Tabata, . Good move?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @ThE sHiT, Sure

  100. Zeke says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey.

    A guy in my league took Darvish as the 14th pitcher overall in our draft and says he will bet anyone in our league 20 bucks that he will finish higher in total points than any pitcher that we took after him. Is this guy smoking crack? I will note that I am in a 12 team points league, that is heavy on stats like wins, quality starts, innings pitched, etc. Would you take this bet with either Latos or Gio? At first I thought it was a no-brainer, but people seem to be a little higher on Darvish now than they were at the start of Spring Training. Do you still like Darvish where he is in your rankings? Thanks for all your wisdom.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Zeke, Yeah, he’s smoking crack…

      • Zeke says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Thanks for the reinforcement, and you were spot on with Unicornco. All they need is a furry wall in Left.

  101. mets fan says:
    (link)

    I have an idea for Marlins park being that pitcher parks end in co how about fishco?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @mets fan, Kinda like Crayola Canyon…

  102. mets fan says:
    (link)

    LOL thats a good one to

  103. timSTi says:
    (link)

    Deep 14 tm mixed 5×5 roto.

    Bryan LaHair, Ryan Sweeney, or Roger Bernadina.

    I need power more than speed, but barely.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @timSTi, Bernadina

      • timSTi says:
        (link)

        @Grey, OH, forgot the lispers nightmare Seth Smith is in that mix too. So I’d need 2 of those 4. I currently have LaHair & Smith on my roster. Thanks bruddah.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @timSTi, Bernadina, LaHair… Though I worry a bit about the back issue…

          • timSTi says:
            (link)

            @Grey, Yeah, same here. I’ll keep an eye on it. Thanks for the input though my man.

  104. birrrdy! says:
    (link)

    Unicornico is great. Just complete the Enya water references and call it:

    “Unicornico Flow”

    Its like one great watery one-horned fish laden menstration fantasy.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @birrrdy!, Maybe I’m selling myself short, but I kinda like Crayola Canyon better…

  105. Goose says:
    (link)

    Marlins stadium:

    - The Aqueerium (I’m not trying to make a joke on loud gay style sensibilities, I’m saying the park is effing WEIRD — but I can see how the usage could be misconstrued as derogatory…)
    - FaaaaartdeCo (As in, art deco + those walls are faaaaaaar out there. Plus, fart.)
    - Marlandia

    I like Early Bird Specials, but I also thought of:

    - Daylight Savers (they spring forward, then fall back…)
    - A.M. Risers (April/May Risers, plus another joke on the early bird/old guy thing…)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Goose, Ha! I like Marlandia, I think Crayola Canyon says big better though…

    • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
      (link)

      @Goose, daylight savers is a good one.

  106. AL KOHOLIC says:
    (link)

    diaper dandies,

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @AL KOHOLIC, Funny, but I think Early Bird is better…

    • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
      (link)

      @AL KOHOLIC, haha is that from
      ‘O brother where art thou”

      Daper Dan!

  107. MisterMister says:
    (link)

    I’ll throw out a vote in support of Crayola Canyon, but for the sake of diversifying your colloquialism portfolio you can also refer to it as a “pastel pasture” from time to time…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nice…

  108. skinny malinky says:
    (link)

    I think old players who start off hot are suffering from Enlarged Pro Stats.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      That’s hilarious… I’ll add it into the definition for Early Bird…

  109. VinWins

    VinWins says:
    (link)

    Just noticed Rudy’s team in FanDuel. Thought people might be interested,

    Tommy Hanson
    Carlos Santana
    Freddie Freeman
    Brandon Phillips
    Hanley Ramirez
    Zack Cozart
    Drew Stubbs
    John Mayberry
    Shelley Duncan

    Also, this has probably been discussed already, but New Zealand beat Canada in curling today.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’m sure Steve will like seeing that. Not Rudy’s team, the curling thing…

  110. B.o.B says:
    (link)

    Enlarged Pro Stats > Early Bird Special

    Trying to think of one using a pun with Depends but my lack of creativity is preventing me to come up with one…something like Dependsable Vets, maybe someone can think of a better one

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I think they can be used in conjunction.

  111. AL KOHOLIC says:
    (link)

    the wind at wrigley has alreafy cost zimmerman a hr,and greys fav. early bird soriano 1 maybe also

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup

  112. royce! says:
    (link)

    Great job on the last podcast, truly rounding into form.

    I agree with your opinions about the suggested names, and can’t think of anything better, but I did find it interesting that Red Grooms designed the HR monstrosity. Based on his other works, I think that it definitely has a tongue in cheek, ironic aspect to it; Time called his show at the Whitney “Redneck Deco.” I also think that his name sounds like a Soviet-era Russian doo-wop group. Or maybe a website for mail-order Russian husbands (not sure there’s a very big market for this). Anyhow, in total honesty, I absolutely love the HR sculpture. The Padres seem to be heading in the complete opposite direction, making everything less interesting, though it is pretty reflective of San Diego culture, at least the more affluent part of it.

    My two teams are a combined 2 for 22. Why was I looking forward to this so much?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Red Grooms — ha! BTW, found out I have a connection through my cougar to a minority owner of the Padres and may be going to stay with them at some point this summer. Giddy up! I may have to get him on the podcast too.

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Rad! I wonder if he could hook you up with a press pass. This counts as press, right? Definitely let me know when/if you decide to come down.

        Heading to opening day w the wife and baby. With a 2 month old in padres gear, we’re pretty much guaranteed we’ll get on the jumbotron; too bad I missed my chance to get a razzball shirt.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Will do! Yeah, now all you need is to put a giant foam finger on your hand and propose again to your wife and you’ll make the evening news…

  113. TheBravesWear Prado says:
    (link)

    It’s only been one game but do you give all Marlins pitchers a slight boost now? Nolasco is on the waiver wire and I’m considering the add now.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Depends who you’re dropping to pick him up… I don’t think the park is gonna hurt their pitchers, that’s for sure…

  114. EK says:
    (link)

    Capuano @ SD or Vargas @ OAK?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Capuano

  115. Danger Zone says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey, would you drop A. Hill for Mayberry as a bench guy?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not right now…

  116. moses says:
    (link)

    Grey Old Bean,

    How you like-a this trade?

    Getting Hanley, Lorenzo Cain, Michael Young, and giving up Ryan Zimmerman, Asdrubal, and Kendrick.

    14 team H2H Points League (no categories) 3 add/drops per week (4 bench batters, 3 bench pitchers, 2 minors spots, 2 DL spots)

    C: Wilson Ramos
    1B: Votto
    2B: Rickie Weeks
    SS: Asdrubal Cabrera
    3B: Ryan Zimmerman
    OF: Ellsbury
    OF: Kendrick (OF/2B)
    OF: Cuddyer (OF/1B)
    U: Kendrys Morales (1B)
    Bench: Alex Rios, Drew Stubbs, Ryan Doumit, Mike Aviles

    SP: CJ Wilson, Jordan Zimmerman, Bud Norris, Ryan Dempster, Corey Luebke (SP/RP), Erik Bedard, Matt Harrison
    RP: Chris Sale, Neftali Feliz
    DL: Jorge De La Rosa
    Minors: Teheran, Bauer

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not crazy about it…

      • moses says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        What if I were to replace Cain with JJ Hardy or Bourjos? Make any difference?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Not completely…

  117. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
    (link)

    Early Bird is good. First thing that came to mind was “Aprilgenarian,” which I think is more clever than funny.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha… Yeah, not bad… Probably a pain for me to type though…

      • Awesomus Maximus

        Awesomus Maximus says:
        (link)

        @Grey, I thought twice about bailing on Mesoraco in my 12-team. Arencibia is going to kill my AVG, OPS, and K cats worse than just waiting until Mesoraco gets ABs, but I can’t bail on the counting cats. Sad face…

        S1W?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, I watched it… The men are a bunch of Mr. Bungles…

          • Awesomus Maximus

            Awesomus Maximus says:
            (link)

            @Grey, The teaser for next week was incredibly lame… desperate to make it look like the guys might have a chance to stir something up.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              @Awesomus Maximus, I Troyzan fell for that nonsense… Why couldn’t him and the pretty boy just talk about it? So frustrating…

              • Awesomus Maximus

                Awesomus Maximus says:
                (link)

                @Grey, What’s her face played it well, knowing they already had a bit of a macho rivalry between them… and then showing up at the perfect moment to defuse a possible conversation.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  She played it well, but there’s no reason why the pretty boy and Troyzan couldn’t have a convo… Or just ask the dwarf if Mike discussed anything… Or just ask Mike… So frustrated… Now it’s like 4 episodes until anything happens… I did find it interesting that Alicia and Christina voted for Tarzan, they obviously didn’t know anything…

                  • Awesomus Maximus

                    Awesomus Maximus says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey, Seems obvious (as a viewer) that those two are on the outside of EVERY alliance. If any of the guys had the cutthroat instinct that what’s her face does, they would have gotten the 5 guys and at least one of those girls (Christina would have been easy) to flip.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I so wanted Troyzan to realize what was going on and give him idol to Mike and get rid of the girl that was trying to choreograph the whole thing… But it seems like I’m giving him way too much credit… He still seems baffled next week…

                    • Awesomus Maximus

                      Awesomus Maximus says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, Way too much credit. Jonas was the only guy who had any strategic chops. Chelsea and the other chick (who’s running things) are both solid players. It will be interesting to see if they stick together or if one realizes they need to cut the other sooner rather than later.

                    • chata says:
                      (link)

                      @Awesomus Maximus,

                      face it guys .
                      this show has been steadily going down-hill , every year , since … i don’t know when .

                      but wait !!
                      next year they’ll have Rachel and ‘what’s his face’
                      from big brother !!!
                      or maybe even boston rob , again .

  118. nyydj2 says:
    (link)

    On the old guys starting strong: Geezer Teasers or Geeze Tease?

    On new Miami park: IcanSeeTheCoastOfEnglandBeyondTheCenterfieldWallCo

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not bad, think we have some better suggestions above…

  119. 2 Cups 1 Braun says:
    (link)

    Looks like my $12 Valverde salad has a pube in it. Do I pick it out and and eat the rest or risk sending it back only to have someone convince me the filet they added was for the inconvenience?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @2 Cups 1 Braun, Ha!

  120. Steve says:
    (link)

    Jesus. At least I own Aceves too.

  121. Steve says:
    (link)

    For crying out loud.

  122. RichC says:
    (link)

    Time to drop Aceves, he just crapped the bed.

  123. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
    (link)

    hahaha. Melancon comes in the 9th and gives up 2 hits so bobby V the genius calls in aceves…

    Aceves hits ramon Santiago to load the bases!

    Shituation!

    Then Aceves gave up the game winning hit…

    BSSSSSSSS

    • AL KOHOLIC says:
      (link)

      @The Talented Mr. Dope Man, let the closer brain freezes start

      • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
        (link)

        @AL KOHOLIC, ha i drafted melancon for $1 at the end of my AL only because i had no trust in bailey… Felt I overpaid… haha

        in one ESPN league I own both of them… haha

        • AL KOHOLIC says:
          (link)

          @The Talented Mr. Dope Man, ive already shuffeled about 20 or so between 3 teams,farns is the one i need to come back

          • TheNewGuy says:
            (link)

            @AL KOHOLIC, Hey at least we didnt draft em…

  124. moses says:
    (link)

    one mo time GREY

    . another offer. now he’s offering me Hanley/Matt Moore/Max Scherzer for Asdrubal and CJ Wilson. Would you do this one?

    Here’s my lineup again. CJ is my best pitcher.

    14 team H2H Points League (no categories) 3 add/drops per week (4 bench batters, 3 bench pitchers, 2 minors spots, 2 DL spots)

    C: Wilson Ramos
    1B: Votto
    2B: Rickie Weeks
    SS: Asdrubal Cabrera
    3B: Ryan Zimmerman
    OF: Ellsbury
    OF: Kendrick (OF/2B)
    OF: Cuddyer (OF/1B)
    U: Kendrys Morales (1B)
    Bench: Alex Rios, Drew Stubbs, Ryan Doumit, Mike Aviles

    SP: CJ Wilson, Jordan Zimmerman, Bud Norris, Ryan Dempster, Corey Luebke (SP/RP), Erik Bedard, Matt Harrison
    RP: Chris Sale, Neftali Feliz
    DL: Jorge De La Rosa
    Minors: Teheran, Bauer

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @moses, I’d take Hanley…

  125. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    I don’t know if anyone has said this, but when did Cueto turn into a Latin Hideo Nomo? Dude’s wind-up looks like something from a cartoon.

    • TheNewGuy says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian, I know its hillarious. God only knows how he can command his pitches using that wind-up.

      • 3FingersBrown says:
        (link)

        @TheNewGuy, Luis Tiant Jr. Cueto needs Eric Thames’ facial hair.

  126. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    MMD just missed a bomb through the wind. Stand-up triple.

    • Wilsonian says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian, he absolutely crushed it too. If it was July it woulda been in Milwaukee by now…

  127. Steve says:
    (link)

    Lohse yesterday, Masterson today. The H2H gods hate me.

    • 3FingersBrown says:
      (link)

      @Steve, I’m loving the Son of Masters right now. Got him on both my money teams.

      Masterson gem… Picked up a Lidge Save… Mets win behind Johan… Didn’t have to use my AK… I have to say it was a good day.

      • TheNewGuy says:
        (link)

        @3FingersBrown, Got the Lidge save too in both leagues, 1st vultured save of the season. Ata boy Brad, always liked you.

        • 3FingersBrown says:
          (link)

          @TheNewGuy, Damn Perez spoiled Masterson’s gem. What a piece of garbage he is. How long until Pestano get’s the 9th?

          • VinWins

            VinWins says:
            (link)

            @3FingersBrown, Perez was 36 for 40 last year; probably doesn’t lose the job that quickly.

            • 3FingersBrown says:
              (link)

              @VinWins, I didn’t realize he had that many saves last year. I just know his K/BB rate was shit and I avoided him like herpes in my drafts this year.

            • TheNewGuy says:
              (link)

              @VinWins, 36 for 40 but he was still awful with the rest of his peripheral numbers. Perez said his slider should be better this year and back to his 2010 form, yet we saw none of that. I really wish they’d give Pestano a shot, he’s a much much better pitcher.

              • VinWins

                VinWins says:
                (link)

                @TheNewGuy, Not saying you’re wrong; just saying it doesn’t seem like they will be quick to take the job from him.

        • dingbat says:
          (link)

          @TheNewGuy, I dropped Lidge to pick up Peralta — hope that move’s a net gain for me.

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
        (link)

        @3FingersBrown, Guessing you don’t love Perez though

        • 3FingersBrown says:
          (link)

          @VinWins, Ha. I beat you too it… The way Cunningham stood there on Encarnacion’s shot, I thought it was a routine fly out.

          • VinWins

            VinWins says:
            (link)

            @3FingersBrown, Ha. Unless you look at the timestamps. Nice running by Davis to score from first.

  128. Fletch says:
    (link)

    Henderson Alvarez or Lohse?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Fletch, Lohse

  129. TheNewGuy says:
    (link)

    Anyone starting to get the jitters about the Marlins hitters already? I know its so early but they’ve looked awful so far against pretty mediocre pitching. I’ve got a lot invested in them, with Hanley and Gaby in one league and Gargantua in another…so I need these guys to hit.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @TheNewGuy, It’s a bit early still…

    • TheNewGuy says:
      (link)

      @TheNewGuy, Friggin Hanley…great job making contact…

  130. Eddy says:
    (link)

    Broxton just named closer by Yost

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks for the heads up!

  131. B.o.B says:
    (link)

    Here’s my staff for a 10 team, H2H league, standard 5 categories…

    SP – Cliff Lee
    SP -Gio Gonzalez
    SP – Jordan Zimmermann
    SP – Matt Garza
    SP – Ubaldo Jimenez
    SP – Jhoulys Chacin
    SP – Trevor Cahill
    RP – Carlos Marmol
    RP – Frank Frank
    RP – Greg Holland

    I have 2 open spots after dropping Madson and DL’ing Fellatio. Based on my staff, what 2 you like between Lohse, Dirty Sanchez, Leake, Nolasco, Harrison and Milone. If you only like 1 of those for me, I can add an OF with my other open spot.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Milone, Lohse…

      • B.o.B says:
        (link)

        @Grey, Thanks! Hoping you would say Milone!

  132. TheNewGuy says:
    (link)

    Cozart with a fought off triple…

  133. 3FingersBrown says:
    (link)

    Bruuuuuuuce!

    • TheNewGuy says:
      (link)

      @3FingersBrown, What a CF bomb… Greys guys starting to hit now!

      • 3FingersBrown says:
        (link)

        @TheNewGuy, crushed it. He has such a nice easy swing… I’m all in on Bruce this year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Oh, yeah, baby, oh yeah….

  134. Scottie O. says:
    (link)

    Even though you sound set at Early Bird Specials, I figured I’d give it a shot:

    Old players that start off hot – “Vinegar Strokes”. In reference to the final moments of a male orgasm; when you can no longer stop ejaculation. Basically, you get the 1 last big thrust, but then you need a nap.

    For the stadium, mark my vote for Crayola Canyon. You can even shorten it to CraCan to make it sound worse.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      CraCan… Ha! Yeah, not feeling Vinegar Strokes…

  135. Long Bawls says:
    (link)

    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuu—oh, wait someone beat me to it.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sweet, Jesus!

  136. Bill S. Preston, Esq/ says:
    (link)

    I assume I’m not the only one hoping someone other than Marshall comes out to start the 9th. I need someone to give up a run so he can come in and get the save.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Too late…

    • Bill S. Preston, Esq/ says:
      (link)

      @Bill S. Preston, Esq, Crap

      • Bill S. Preston, Esq/ says:
        (link)

        @Bill S. Preston, Esq, Well, I’ll take it. It was certainly better than I got from Aceves.

  137. VinWins

    VinWins says:
    (link)

    Arencibia is 0 for 5 so far, and I still haven’t dropped him! Progress!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ron Popeil would be proud…

  138. Long Bawls says:
    (link)

    For the lexicon terms, I was gonna put down early bird specials too, but that seems to have been covered. Some other thoughts:

    Grizzly hares. Cuz they’re all grizzled, but they start off fast. And if it needs explanation and sounds like a Hanna Barbera cartoon that only aired in the Philippines, it’s probably no good.

    Methuseleaders

    StAARPlayers

    Rascal scooters

    Man, this Toronto-Cleveland is like trench warfare without the cool gas masks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Long Bawls, Ha… I don’t mind some of your suggestions, I think early bird specials is cleaner…

  139. Long Bawls says:
    (link)

    Oh no! Jack Hannahan’s MVP bid just took a hit.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Long Bawls, Ha!

  140. Long Bawls says:
    (link)

    For Marlin’s stadium name, what about Fish TaCo or Chum Cavern?

    We could stick to strict geography and go with Gulf of MexiCo.

    • Long Bawls says:
      (link)

      @Long Bawls, Well, not STRICT geography

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Long Bawls, Ha, no not strict… I like Crayola Canyon better….

  141. VinWins

    VinWins says:
    (link)

    JPA 3-run HR! My patience pays off!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha… Yeah, paid to be patient for a little under an hour…

  142. VinWins

    VinWins says:
    (link)

    Ha! I’ve been waiting for over 5 hours for him to get a hit. Santos came in for the save, but Farrell wasn’t making the change.

  143. VinWins

    VinWins says:
    (link)

    1 out, now Santos brought in. Longest opening day game (by innings) in MLB history.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @VinWins, Blue Jays and Indians made it feel twice as long too.

  144. Eddy says:
    (link)

    Kershaw leaving the game after 3 IP because of the flu. My opponent has him so I’m not complaining.

    But as for Kershaw, he’s literally too sick.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Eddy, Damn

  145. Long Bawls says:
    (link)

    Aaaand…Edinson Walkez strikes again.

    • Eddy says:
      (link)

      @Long Bawls,

      The dude is the personification of a mirage.

      • Long Bawls says:
        (link)

        @Eddy, Can’t spell mirage w/o “rage.” Or walk w/o “k.”

  146. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
    (link)

    Of course Arencibia hits a 3-run dinger on the day I pick him up (he won’t be on my roster until tomorrow). Feels good to be frustrated again! FMFBBL

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Awesomus Maximus, Ha! I missed that acronym.

  147. elwood blues says:
    (link)

    Well dom. brown was taken.. now I am down to G.Cole or Skaggs? NL Only 4×4.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Cole

      • elwood blues says:
        (link)

        @Grey, yeah I like Cole. There’s one guy ahead of me, I guess I can’t go wrong with either.

  148. Pokey Reese says:
    (link)

    10 team h2h points

    I give Holliday, Tom Hanson, Cahill I get bj Upton, garza, shields

    I’m getting antsy about receiving your book, I’m wondering if it will be the best ever or the greatest ever (like Ryan Klesko’s sideburns)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Don’t love the trade…

      • Pokey Reese says:
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        @Grey, Does getting Eithier for Crawford sweeting the deal or keep a broke trade broken?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Pokey Reese, Doesn’t make it better…

  149. Terrence Mann says:
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    I thought I was screwed when Bailey, Farnsworth, and Madson all went down. Now, I’m thinking I’d be better off if Marmol and Perez needed Tommy John surgery, too.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Terrance Mann, at least you don’t have Kenley. Or do you?

      • Terrence Mann says:
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        @Grey, Heh, nope. Own Street, Myers, and Betancourt ina few leagues.

  150. Wilsonian says:
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    Kemp’s working on my MVP prediction. Emoticon…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      He looked good today, for sure…

      • Wilsonian says:
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        @Grey, I’m not complaining. Nor am I complaining about Mr. Bruce.

  151. Wilsonian says:
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    I know this is a smidge premature, but in your professional opinion, what kind of leash do you think Perez has?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wilsonian, A week or so, unless he’s hurt…

  152. Terrence Mann says:
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    I’m in five $$ leagues. Own Cozart in 5, Kendrick in 4, Bruce in 3. You’ve tainted me.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Terrence Mann, You’re welcome!

      • Terrence Mann says:
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        @Grey, Thanks. It’s comparable to being teabagged – just more in your face.

  153. 3FingersBrown says:
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    @Grey, How do you rank: Tommy Milone, Peavy, Leake, Liam Hendricks?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @3FingersBrown, Peavy, Milone, Leake…

      • 3FingersBrown says:
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        @Grey, Thanks. I have Peavy and Leake and that Peavy start in Texas has me thinking twice about him…

        Milone has great MiLB numbers but his low velocity scares me. I’ve never seen him pitch. Sounds like he could be Barry Zito redux. Strokes chin…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @3FingersBrown, Radke-ish…

          • 3FingersBrown says:
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            @Grey, That’s not too bad. Cheap back end WHIP anchor.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              @3FingersBrown, Yup

  154. Cole says:
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    Hey Grey i need a 2 starter next week for a h2h league, which would you pick-up?
    Homer: vs. Stl (Lohse), @Was (Detwiler)
    Leake: vs Stl (Westbrook) @Was (Jackson)
    C. Sale: @cle (Tomlin) vs Det (Porcello)
    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Sale, Leake…

  155. Steve says:
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    OK. 12 team H2H rotation is thus:

    Bumgarner
    D Hudson
    J Zimmerman
    Chacin
    McCarthy
    Cahill
    Peavy
    Sanchez
    Valverde
    Betancourt
    Thornton
    Johnson
    Braxton
    Aceves

    So yeah, I lucked into some closers off the wire and now I have too many for h2h. Starting pitching could do with beefing up, can you see any SP/closer combos that I could maybe shift for a starter?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Broxton or Thornton and Chacin or Peavy for a #2 SP…

      • Steve says:
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        @Grey, Someone like Garza?

        Or I know he’s on the DL but what about sending one of those schmohawk closers for Lilly?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, try and get Garza…

    • Steve says:
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      @Steve, Or do I just flat drop a closer to free up a spot? Need a holds guy too…

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        I wouldn’t drop one right now…

  156. Steve says:
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    Just catching some highlights. Padilla rocking a pretty promising-looking mullet.

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