I was in no rush to review the signing of Victor Martinez by the Detroit Tigers. No, it wasn’t all the tryptophan. Players going to a new club that won’t change their fantasy value doesn’t really float my boat. So let’s talk about what’s really on my mind, what a crock of shizz Paranormal Activity was. Hey, girlfriend, I have an idea, let’s put baby powder on the ground. How about you dump the girl who can’t act, isn’t that pretty, makes bead jewelry and is being followed around by a demon? That would’ve been my first thought. Thankfully, I just had to order it on Netflix’s Instant thing-a-ma-movie-boob. That, friends, is the best invention in the history of mankind behind the round beach blanket, which is my invention that I haven’t mass-produced yet. You never have to turn it when the sun moves! Martinez doesn’t have great career numbers at Comerica, but he wasn’t hitting right in front of or behind of Miguel Cabrera when he put up those numbers. Plus, he was a visitor. Anyone who has ever visited Detroit will have a pretty good idea why someone might not have the best time. Martinez has never not hit (double negative!) and I don’t (triple!) think he suddenly stops never not hitting now. (And he lands the Triple Lindy of double negatives!). Could his numbers take a bit of a hit since he won’t be hitting doubles off the Green Monster? Sure, but not enough to drop him below the third best catcher in the majors. Anyway, here’s some more moves and their fantasy baseball repercussions:
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – This is actually interesting for me in fantasy. The Salty sleeper post is already written. As they say at supermarkets about receipts, it’s in the bag. Sure, Salty hasn’t done a damn thing in the majors the last few years, except come down with a case of the yips, but he’s going to be a cheap catcher in fantasy drafts that will be hitting in the Red Sox lineup. Thank you, come again!
Javier Vazquez – Signs with the Marlins, and just like that Vazquez gets value again. In his last year in the NL East with the Braves, he had an ERA of 2.87 (which was above his xFIP, for those pushing their glasses up their nose) and a K/9 9.77. That was in 2009. 2009 wasn’t that long ago. I still have a 2009 Hello Kitty calender hanging in my kitchen. I told you last year to stay away from Vazquez in The Stadium They Built Next To The House That Ruth Built. This year, I’m saying the opposite. He’ll be in a stadium that suppresses home runs, in a division where he’ll face two of the bottom seven worst offenses per 2010 (the Gnats and the Mess). I don’t think Vazquez simply returns to his 2009 numbers, but around a 3.75 ERA is still quite possible. Yeah, I modified with “quite.” Get used to it!
Aubrey Huff – The re-signing of Huff by the Giants does little to nothing for his fantasy value, i.e., it stays what it was last year, i.e., he either repeats his great season or does what everyone expected him to do before his great season and underperforms, i.e., he’ll probably be a fantasy bust.
Clint Barmes – Finally, the Astros have a replacement for Craig Biggio. Only it’s the Biggio we saw in his last major league season when he hit 10 home runs and batted .251 and stole 4 bases. In NL-Only leagues, I could see Barmes having some value as a late flier to see if he can hit fifteen home runs and steal ten bases (both numbers are his ceiling), but his average will probably be tizz-errible.
Eric Young Jr. – Even if you just started reading Razzball, you’re well aware I love me some Eric Young Jr. I’m naming my firstborn Eric Young Albright Jr. With Barmes out of town, Young should have regular time at second base. He will definitely get a sleeper post in the near future.
Felipe Paulino – For pitchers with at least 80 IP, Paulino threw the 2nd hardest fastball behind only Ubaldo. Like hanging out with the elderly, there’s trouble with the walks. On the bright side, his FIP was 3.44 compared to his 5.11 ERA. Paulino may not warrant fantasy consideration in all leagues, but in deeper mixed leagues (think 14+ teams) Paulino has the upside worth drafting.