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I’ve been waiting here at my computer crunching advanced sabremetrics in hyper-suspended cryogenic animation since we last spoke a la Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence in Passengers, and yes, that was 100% an effort to shoe horn two of Hollywood’s most famous people into my lede for clicks. I may have had six months off, but I still know how to get those sweet, zesty page views. San Diego Padres outfielder slash hot shot prospect slash fastest man alive, Manuel Margot showed many why he’s so highly touted last night with a 2-for-4 night, including two home runs out of the lead off spot. So what happened while I was gone? The Cubs won what, you say? No way! And who is president? You are messing with me. Another Drake album!? How does he have the time? Well, Manny Margs is now slashing .263/.333/.632 with two homers, three RBI and a stolen base on the young season. Wait, did someone say–stolen base? Yeah, you did, ya joker. Ess Bees are basically the reason you drafted Margot. This doode can fly. The big return for San Diego in the Craig Kimbrel trade, he stole 30 bases in 517 ABs at AAA (.304/.351/.426). His speed and defense should ensure he gets plenty of playing time this year, and leading off for the ‘Dres makes him a player to own. A razzball preseason sleeper, he’s under 50% owned in ESPN leagues right now, but I see that number climbing real quickly after last night’s performance. Like, do your best Manuel Margot impression and go grab him quickly. Grey told you to BUY and if you got a need for speed pick him up before I do!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball…

Andrew Benintendi – 0-for-2, run. SB (1). And the kid steals bases, too, folks! Ha-cha-cha! Wow, I am crushing on you real bad right now. I might have a new locker to hide in, you guys. I am one more Michael Jackson leg kick away from opening up my relationship with Xander to make room for more quality time with Andrew.

Pablo Sandoval – 2-for-4, 3-run HR (1). Panda was almost the hero in this one homering off K-Rod in the 8th to give the Sawx a lead that quickly vanished. In the past I have to used Panda to hide my Taco Bell addiction. Well, Pablo attributes his recent weight loss to Taco Bell’s newest creation. If you need to lose 5 pounds fast, look no further than the Bell’s chicken shell taco. It’s actually more of a cleanse than a diet. Mmm, heartburn. I could see adding Sandoval for the upside in this line up. I promise I won’t tell anyone.

Michael Fulmer – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. If you thought last year was a fluke, you were wrong, computer friend. Fulmer was still throwing cheese (97-98 mph) when he left this one, and looks to be picking up right where he left off. I have to hate you right now because I don’t own you anywhere.

Ivan Nova – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, o ER, 4 K, W. Super Nova’s star was shining extra bright Friday night as he easily dispatched the Braves. Ivan could be a sneaky pick this year after posting a 3.06 ERA and 52/3 K/BB rate in 64.2 IP with the Bucs last year. This Super Nova is a star worth adding, at least until he explodes.

Bryce Harper – 2-for-4, HR (2), 2 RBI. B-Ryce is slashing .357/.500/.857 with five RBI and two homers! Aww yisss.  I can feel you getting warming and warming. Umm, sorry, I didn’t mean to put my hand there. B, if you could simply just break all the records this year I swear we can be best friends again.

Daniel Murphy – 2-for-4, HR (1), 2 RBI. To everyone who told you you over drafted Daniel Murphy this year, tell them they are too tilt and to go back to fantasy lacrosse. You’re jus tryna have a good time.

Jayson Werth – 1-for-4, HR (2), 3 RBI.  FWIW, which is an acronym that I’m told might be appropriate here, Jayson has hit safely in three of his four games, with homers in two, and bats in the middle of a stacked line up. Why is he less than 10% owned? It’s questions like these we may never know the answer to. Or maybe it’s because he’s 37.

Max Scherzer – 6.2 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, W. Mad Max did his best Imperator Furiosa (because she’s the real hero anyway, #subliminalfeminism ) impression and got his first dubya. Witness me!

Vincent Velasquez – 4.0 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, 3 BB, 10 K. You laugh, but this is exactly the kind of pitcher I profile for my fantasy team in my pre-draft research. How many strikeouts did you say? Yes please! Would bang.

Blake Treinen – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER, SV (3). His second shaky save chance in a row. If you are as desperate for saves as I am for positive feedback, you might want to grab Koda Glover, but knowing Dusty Baker, he’s probably thinking Blake has a few more blow ups in him before his spirit is completely crushed.

Kyle Freeland – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W. A rookie pitcher in Colorado? Of course I’m interested. Please tell me more about that.

Jake McGee – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (1). With Greg Holland unavailable, McGee worked a scoreless ninth for his first save. The Rockies bullpen is shaping up to look like one of the best in baseball. And that’s probably the craziest sentence I’ll write all month. Which is really something when you consider I’ll likely mention the clam people next week.

Travis Jankowski – 1-for-3, 2 runs, SB (1). Oh boy, is this my first SAGNOF of the season? Or did I just black out? I tried poison toad this offseason, loyal readers. Maybe some day I’ll tell you about it in a blurb. Irregardless, Janko stole 30 bases in just 335 ABs last year and could be a cheap source of speed. If you’re looking for an even cheaper source of speed, see my associate Big Mike on the street corner, and come alone.

Brandon Belt – 2-for-4, 2 HR (3), 5 RBI. Belt is off the chain! Which is strange because my wallet chain hangs off my belt. Of course I wear a wallet chain! I wouldn’t want my Jamba Juice Club card and my two dollar bill to gets snatched from me in the street. That Jamba Juice card has 4 punches, ya’ll! One more and that’s a small Kale smoothie!

Brandon Maurer – 1.0 IP, 2 K, SV (1). That feeling when at least one of late round closers does right by you. That’ll do, Maurer. That’ll do.

Manny Machado – 1-for-4, 3-run HR (1). We will always have last year, Manny, when I owned you and I wasn’t so bitter and depressed that I didn’t own you. Oh, happier days!

Brett Gardner – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 SB (2). 2013 called. They want their late round sleeper back. After a disappointing 2016, Brett has made it his mission to steal more. Refreshing. If only everyone had goals like this, we’d have way more crime in the world. And probably way less stuff.

Gary Sanchez – 2-for-4, HR (1), 2 RBI. ALL HE DOES IS HIT HOME RUNS! That’s why I took a catcher with my first pick, folks. See you in last place!

Matt Holliday – 2-for-2, HR (1), 3 RBI. When Matt Holliday is suddenly one of the oldest players on the Yankees and you wonder what happened to the good old days.

Mike Leake – 8.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 6 K. This is why the Cards gave him that huge contact, people. For this game, on this night. Leake delivered.

Amir Garrett – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W. Rookie pitchers are my kryptonite and Amir fits the mold deliciously. Did I say deliciously? I meant, perfectly. He held a 2.55 ERA and 132/59 K/BB over 144.2 IP last year in the minors. Must. Resist. Unproven. Arms. Ack! The force is too strong with this one. Keep it up Garrett, and I can definitely see myself owning and dropping you all season long.

Billy Hamilton – 2-for-4, run, SB (2). If Hamilton could bat over .250, he could probably steal 100 bases. But, FWIW (my new favorite acronym) , he probably won’t, so he’s only good to steal 60ish like some pleb.

Rasiel Iglesias – 2.0 IP, 3 K, SV (2). Baby Chapman! I’m so stoked I own you right now. Way to go me!

Wei-Yin Chen – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, ER, BB, 5 K, W. Poor Miami Marlins went from having the best pitcher in the world to having a 1-2 punch that features Edinson Volquez and Dan Straily. I am sad again.

Troy Tulowitzki – 2-for-4, HR (1), 4 RBI. Tulo was 100% a shortstop I could see myself owning this year. He was going just late enough in drafts to make the risk worth it. But I didn’t get him anywhere, so let’s move on.

Josh Donaldson – 2-for-4, HR (1). Looks like Toronto’s offense will be OK without Edwin. You can all exhale now, Canada. Just don’t wake the bears.

Evan Longoria – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (2), 2 RBI. Longo is slashing 313/.455/.688 with a pair of homers and five RBI on the year. The former fantasy first rounder was probably a draft steal after putting up one of his best offensive seasons in years. Would own. In fact, it was probably the best season I can remember for Longo in…well, ever. However, my memory is a kind of shot after Will Smith used his memory Neuralyzer on me at the last Scientology retreat. Also, drugs.

Francisco Liriano – 0.1 IP, 3 hits, 5 ER, 4 BB, K. Why did I start you? Its probably because I hate myself. Also, drugs.

Jimmy Nelson – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K. When you shut down the World Champs like that you have my attention. Sooo, now that you have my attention–whaddaya want? I have an auditing session in 15 minutes and these thetans aren’t going to clear themselves. Wow, three references to my religion in one post, I must be rusty. Really scraping the bottom of the barrel. That headline was kind of clever though, right? Sigh, I will do better next week.

Yasmany Tomas – 2-for-4, run, 2 RBI. The Snakes had 11 hits in this one. And if I may dangerously flaunt my 2016 AND 2017 sleeper pick here, I fully believe this kid’s gonna be a star. Ha-cha-cha! Please don’t let me be wrong again. It’s been a rough offseason.

Shelby Miller – 5.1 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W. Shelby Miller Time is currently living the High Life! Someone’s gotta make Zack Greinke look good!

Nomar Mazara – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (2), 6 RBI. Nomah is 10-for-17 with two jacks and 9 ribbies so far and as a New Englander, I am required to have blind unrequited love for all players and persons named Nomar. Maz is no different! He is the best and no one denies this!

Roughned Odor – 2-for-4, HR (3), 2 RBI. If you were silly enough not to draft him you should probably trade for him now before he’s the best player in the world by the end of next week. Or don’t. Give up. Come in last, see if I care.

Salvador Perez – 2-for-5, 2 runs, HR (2), RBI. I am trying an experiment this year. To prove the worthlessness of 90% of catchers I will be offering to swap/trade catchers every week with any and every team that will bite. Just pulled off a blockbuster deal sending my Matt Wieters off for Evan Gattis. Hoping Gattis can net me one of the McCanns next week. I will keep you updated!

Jesse Chavez – 5.2 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 6 K, W. “JESSE!” That’s my Walter White impression. It’s really much better orally. Isn’t everything!? Lol. Zing! Chavez likes to do an impression of a good fantasy pitcher every now and again, but his inconsistency makes me think he should generally be avoided.

Kole Calhoun – 2-for-4, 2-run HR (1). He’s got seven hits through the first five games and ya, OK, I could see owning that. But not gonna lie, it’s mostly because of his proximity to Mike Trout. I still love you, Michael! I miss you! You’re beautiful!

 

 

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!

   
  1. Runner says:
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    Great write up, your headline is what I needed to back up my decision to drop Kepler for Margot.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Runner: Because car transmissions! Lol!

  2. Hugman says:
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    Welcome back!
    A couple extra tidbits: Nova has walked something like 3 batters in the last 70 innings or something crazy like that. ( I drafted him in the 21st round).

    A bit of advice from a Cardinal fan: start/stream EVERY rookie with any hype whatsoever against the Cardinals (okay, except Jimmy Nelson if you’re in the past). The Cards almost always fold against unfamiliar rookies.

    What’s up with Yan Solarte? He off to a hot start!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Hugman: Would buy solarte. I don’t see the power or speed numbers being huge but should be good source of average and rbis

  3. Jim says:
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    Would you drop Kepler, David Peralta or Schoop for Margot.
    Thx for the info and your help!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jim: If I needed the speed might grab him for Kepler.

  4. John says:
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    would you drop Baez or Schoop for Margot?

    What about dropping Russell Martin for Steven Vogt?

    Thanks for your opinion.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @John: I’d grab Vogt, and if I needed the speed Margot for Schoop

  5. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Welcome back Mr Pants! Here is to a good season for all of us not in my league!

  6. Packing says:
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    The FML who shall remain nameless advised me to drop Margot for DeShields. Strike one. Moving on, Javier Baez or Hernan Perez?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Packing: I’ll take Baez

  7. Dan Pants, my favorite Razzballer who wiped the floor with the rest of us in that RCL from 2014… or was it 2015? These years tend to blur together nowadays.

    Anyway, after my latest buys and sells, I figured you might be willing to rate my team. 11-team 5×5 roto with 175 GS limit and 50 acquisitions only. Any big holes to fill? Thanks and I appreciate the write-ups, too. Good stuff.

    C Wieters
    1B Miggy
    2B Odor
    3B Machado
    SS Saladino
    MI Schoop
    CI Rendon
    OF McCutchen
    OF Benintendi
    OF Kepler
    OF Mazara
    OF Calhoun
    UTIL Owings

    DL Just Dong

    SP Cueto
    SP Hammel
    SP Duffy
    SP Gausman
    SP Taijuan Walker
    SP Jon Gray
    CL Oh
    CL Colome
    CL Feliz
    RP Betances
    RP Brach
    RP Daniel Hudson

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Sherm Reinhardt: Love your team, especially the Benintendi part. Looks like you could use some speed but I’m just nitpicking, you can find that on the waiver wire.

      • @Dan Pants: Thanks– SBs look scarce on this roster to me too, though Saladino swiped one today, huzzah.

  8. Slimcompoop says:
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    What’s good Mr. Pants? Thanks for the write-up.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Slimcompoop: Thanks for reading!

  9. Grey

    Grey says:
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    The return of the Pants!

    Now baseball season has begun!

    Good to have you back, Pants!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Grey: I’m just happy to be here and hope I can help the ball club.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Give Ralph a hot foot and say it’s from Halp, trying to drive a wedge between them…. Thanks!

        • Dan Pants

          Dan Pants says:
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          @Grey: I’m not 100% who these people are but I will do this. Anything for the team.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            @Dan Pants: Playing coy, Pants, I like it!

  10. Jose says:
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    Dan they are offering me jonathan lucroy and cole hamels for DJ lemethieu…2×1 should i accept or i should keep DJ lemethieu

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jose: Who is replacing Lemehieu at second? Who is your current catcher Lucroy would replace? You are clearly filling a need for your trading partner at second, but does Hamels/Lucroy help your team?

      • Jose says:
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        My team looks like this

        C salvador perez
        1 miguel cabrera
        2 daniel murphy
        Ss francisco lindor
        3 jose ramirez
        Of christian yelich
        OF hunter renfoe
        Of melky cabrera
        UT ademys diaz
        UT dj lemethieu
        Bench ben zorbits, cesarhernandez,yunel escobar
        SP kylie hendricks,rick porcello,danny duffy,jose quintana,johnny cueto,john lackey,drew pomeranz, marco estrada,joe Ross, will harris

        • Dan Pants

          Dan Pants says:
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          @Jose: I’d hold

  11. rick says:
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    Amir Garret or Freeland if you HAVE to pick up one?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @rick: Amir Garrett

  12. Andrew Edenbaum says:
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    Margot v. Buxton ?
    Margot v. Broxton ?
    Margot v. Hamilton ?

    Thanks

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Andrew Edenbaum: Buxton has looked awful but I’d hold for now

  13. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Dan. Ivan Nova, Matt Moore or Joe Ross in a head to head points league? Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jerry: I like Ross, if he ever plays.

  14. Andrew Edenbaum says:
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    Please rank Casilla, Jeffress, Storen, Benoit. For possible closer role. Thanks.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Andrew Edenbaum: I’d think I’d rank them just like that: Casilla, Jeffress, Storen, Benoit.

  15. trogdor says:
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    Thanks, guys. Added Margot, Finnegan& shoe. Dropped Liriano (WTF??)Buxton& Broxton. (Bruxton?) the only hard contact either has made so far was with his face. Not sure if that’s grammatically correct. Razzball is equally enjoyable when hammered AND hung over! You’ve saved my season!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @trogdor: Thanks for reading!

  16. hondo says:
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    Welcome back Dan! Let’s reminisce about an earlier time.No,not last season,rather ~9AMish(a nod to your religion comment) in this thread where a couple posts involved Schoop and Solarte,but not in the same question.
    Anyway,would you drop Schoop for Solarte?Looks like Schoop is stuck in the 8 hole and Solarte would have to die to not bat cleanup,and with Janeski and Margot ahead of him I see a lot of RBIs.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @hondo: I’d go with Solarte

  17. Big league choo says:
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    12 team 7×7 h2h BBs, Tbs

    Worried about having tommy Joseph as my corner infielder….would you drop leonys martin for parra or Saladino?

  18. Andrew Edenbaum says:
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    Margot or Broxton ? Thanks.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Andrew Edenbaum: I like both. But Margot for now.

  19. Hey-oh! says:
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    Who do you like between Mazara and Alex Bregman in a keeper?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Hey-oh!: Both. Give me Bregman if I have to choose.

  20. Cronut Burger says:
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    I need to drop at least one RP next week in my AL-only league. Please rank in terms of who I should most hang on to: W. Harris, Casilla, Pressly, Rondon. Any of them unworthy of being on my roster? Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Cronut Burger: You can probably lose Pressly

  21. John-A says:
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    Deeeeeep League 14 team 24 rd’r 6×6. What do i need to do? Waivers are pretty much picked thru.

    C: Posey
    1b: Rizzo
    2B: DJ Lemathiu
    3B: Justin Turner
    SS: Xander
    OF: Jackie Bradley
    OF: Ozuna
    OF: Peralta
    OF: Duvall
    DH: Hosmer
    BENCH HITTERS: Schoop, Josh Bell, Beltran, Kepler, Eugenio

    P: Archer, Carrasco, Gerrit Cole, Lance Lynn, CC, Volquez, Hammel, Brett Anderson, Amir Garrett, Sam Dyson, Colome, Herrera

    Any trades I should check out or just stand pat??

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @John-A: Might also need some speed at some point, but I’m holding for now.

      • John-A says:
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        @Dan Pants:

        If i should move somebody for pitching who do you think? My mound is terrible.

        • Dan Pants

          Dan Pants says:
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          @John-A: I think your pitching is OK actually. You lack speed if anything.

  22. Jerry says:
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    Thanks, Dan. What about Lamb, Fowler or Solarte in a head to head points league?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jerry: What about them? Give me Lamb.

  23. Joel

    Joel says:
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    Dan pants with the best daily notes haha

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Joel: You have the best daily notes! Thanks for reading!

  24. Sdub88 says:
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    Want to add Margot but not sure who to drop. Broxton, Schoop, Shaw, Ozuna?

    Musgrove is a drop candidate but would rather add a P for him like Garrett or Devenski. Also have Graveman who could be expendable. Thoughts?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Sdub88: If you need the speed I might lose Schoop

      • Sdub88 says:
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        @Dan Pants:
        Thanks I could probably use the speed. I have Broxton and Peraza for some speed. I probably have enough power with Trout, Odor, Hanley, Story,, Tomas. I’ll dump Schoop

  25. nick the dick says:
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    Good to have you back, Pantsy!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @nick the dick: Good to be back! Thanks for reading!

  26. Pousse-Pousse says:
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    Question: is Buxton a bad baseball hitter or the worst baseball hitter (note that I qualify “hitter” with “baseball” because he may be good at hitting other things like golf balls or the showers)? If the former, then who beside Tommy Joseph is the worst?

    (Yes, I own both these guys)

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Pousse-Pousse: I just figured I am the worst for owners these jokers, but I guess I should give them another week.

  27. Alex M says:
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    Margot or Kepler?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Alex M: Margot

  28. WDH says:
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    Margot or Peraza?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @WDH: I like Margot

  29. Mike in Busan says:
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    I own both halves of “Bruxton,” and Yangervis is looking mighty enticing right now. I should hold my nose and hold, right?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Mike in Busan: Give it another week

      • Mike in Busan says:
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        @Dan Pants: I am trying, Mr. Pants, sir, really I am. It’s just like watching Stevie Wonder trying to fend of whiffle balls with his walking cane, and I love Stevie Wonder’s music, so it’s kinda traumatic, you know?

  30. Ron P says:
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    If SB, R, RBI, HR, TB are all the same 1 point value and K’s are -.5 how would you rank these players ROS?

    Margot, Parra, Franco, Melky, Kepler, Peraza

    Thanks and welcome back!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Ron P: ROS? Lol oh boy, how about Margot, Franco, Melky, Parra, Kepler, Peraza

  31. Johnc says:
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    VMart v Porcello
    Albert v Iwakuma
    Lamb v Kluber

    Can only pick one! Thanks

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Johnc: I assume I’m late on this but I’d go Lamb

  32. CoachGonzo says:
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    Last week I asked grey and other players their thoughts on schawber for britton. All parties told me hold on to britton. Starting to feel like it was a mistake. I can pick up neris, and grandal is a hack. Your thoughts Dan are appreciated. Fun to read, thank you

  33. B the Esq. says:
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    RoS rank em… Odubel, Eaton, Haniger, Margot……… also RoS Gausman,Amir Garrett, Cobb, Nova, Pomeranz?

    Thanks!

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