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Manny Ramirez and his brother from another, Aramis, are taking the summer off as planned. If we get in our “Way Back Machine,” we see back in December of ’07 that I said to look away from Manny. This was before the reports that he was in the best shape of his life and the Sons of Sam Horn turned the media heat up on the hype. What did I say to that? Bologna.  If I may paraphrase myself, I basically said Manny’s Manny and he’s not changing his stripes for an extra two million on a contract. In addition to that, Manny could have a big World Series game and get the extra two million from HankenStein and go play in the Bronx. He knows that. So Manny may get that Xbox Live Clause in his new contract and not even do anything until October. I’m sure Big Papi and him have discussed this at length. Papi, “Manny, you know we can phone in the season and produce in the postseason and be hailed as the best ever clutch performers.” Manny, “Papi, sometimes I get the urge to spork Youk in the neck. Is that weird?” As for Aramis Ramirez, well, he’s in a similar boat, but not an altogether similar point in his career. Aramis could coast until the postseason and the Cubs should make it in a walk. Frankly, I feel like they should move the Cubs to the NL East and close up the Central for the summer, but that’s another story. So will Aramis coast? I’m not convinced. Aramis has proven he loves to hit when the chips have already been eaten (or fill-in some other mixed metaphor). Late last year, Aramis Ramirez knocked the cover off the ball and I could see it happening again. So my advice is Sell on Manny and Buy on Aramis — Ramirez that is. Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball players to Buy and Sell:

BUY

Masa KobayashiJoe Borowski is out. As I said yesterday in the forums, Kobayashi, Betancourt then Perez, in that order. Cleveland, as a team, has 14 saves on the year. That doesn’t mean they will only have fourteen on the other side of 81 games, but it could. Caveat Kobayashi, Betancourt and Perez.

J.R. Towles – Mentioned him yesterday. If you need a catcher, he’s on waivers in your mixed league. It’s a flier, people. Don’t drop Matt Holliday for him.

Scott LinebrinkBobby Jenks is reporting soreness in his back. Could lead to nothing, could lead to a DL-stint — ready, set, vulture! You grab Linebrink because you can’t get enough saves, you greedy person you.

Chris Davis – I just wanna keep talking and talking and talking about Chris Davis, don’t you? Oh, mercy, mercy me. Does he have 50 home runs yet? I originally compared him to Dunn. Ain’t that apt? (BTW, “Ain’t that apt?” is the non-sequitur saying I’m putting on my first t-shirt line. If one of ya’ll steals it, so help me…)

Rickie Weeks – I believe in slow walks on the beach, especially in Wildwood, Point Pleasant or Belmar. I believe Hawaii offers Spam, shaved ice and not much else. I believe anything seasoned properly would be delicious, including dogshit. I believe in reading movie reviews after I’ve seen the movie. I believe Jamie Kennedy is a terrible person, but worse of all, unfunny. I believe the only day I wasn’t nostalgic for yesterday was the day I was born and, finally, I believe in Rickie Weeks.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – Salty is catching more or less on most days and he hasn’t hit at all to his potential, but if you’re carrying Navarro still, you should be looking at him, because Saltimbocca can be tasty when he’s at the plate (<—-forced!).

SELL

Rich Harden – Not sure who you’re selling this guy to and he’s too good to drop, but the latest news from Harden’s camp (if he were, ya know, to have a camp) is that Harden’s going through a dead arm period and that’s why his fastball has been, um, less fast. (Isn’t it weird how his dead arm period is better than his injured arm period? You would think the opposite would be true. Or at least I would think it, because I just did.)

Eric Byrnes – Wasn’t that long ago that I told you to Buy. Well, the injury returned and now he might be gone for the season. Hopefully he can make it to Fox’s postseason broadcast team. *fingers sarcastically crossed*

Mark Buehrle – I’ve mentioned how I added him a month or so ago. He’s currently on the top of my “Most Likely to Get Dropped After He Gets Inevitably Beaten Badly” list.

Jeff Keppinger – I could’ve put Jerry Hairston Jr. there, but Keppinger’s name is more incendiary (Word of the Day). These guys seem like they’re falling into a time share. This hurts both of their value.

Clint Barmes – Deer meat sees your hot start and raises you a 4-for-21 slump and Omar Quintanilla.

Pedro Martinez – It’s with regret his name appears here. I loved Pedro. He was a triple threat — flat-out incredible pitcher, an entertaining interview subject and he carried a dwarf around with him. This… This Mets pitcher isn’t him.

Nate McLouth – Eric Karabell told you he would be the fantasy MVP. Seriously. I think ESPN even charges for this shizz. (I get it for free.) Right now, I picture Hater Bell rocking a Malcolm X hat and listening to Mobb Deep as he prepares to put Karabell on blast. Karabell, take these words and think ‘em through or the next rhyme I write might be about you…

  1. Tony B. says:
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    Rank’Em for rest of season…

    McGowan, Baker, Nolasco, Cook

    Willingham, Butler, Ludwick, Huff, Baker

  2. wakeNbake says:
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    Id go… Baker, McGowan, Nolasco, Cook

    I like Willingham the best out of the hitters the others are all pretty even to me

  3. wakeNbake says:
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    what do you think of Mike Pelfrey Grey?

  4. Steve says:
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    Rios + Hawpe for Berkman?

    What say you, Razzballers?

  5. chenemy says:
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    favors side getting berkman by a wide margin imo

  6. Mike says:
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    @Steve: If your getting Berkman Id do that in a second. I may be a little bias because I drafted Berkman and hes been awesome. Rios just isnt producing like everyone thought he would and the Blue Jays lineup is horrible. I drafted Rios also and was holding out hope for him until I recently traded him, he was just pissing me off and I couldnt stand looking at his name on my team anymore. At least Rios was stealing bases as a silver lining to his horrible season but he hasnt even stolen a base in 17 games so Id do that trade, definetely.

  7. Mike says:
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    @Mike: *correction…Rios has stolen a GRAND TOTAL of 1 base in his last 17 games.

  8. BSA says:
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    @RT – Why would you be worried about Victorino?

  9. Mike says:
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    Torii Hunter and Wainwright for Granderson?…..What ya think? I was looking at Grandersons stats post All-Star break last year and he really went crazy after the break.

  10. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    Cueto for Davis?

  11. BSA says:
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    Dead arm from Harden? Approaching Harden like an Ice Cream cone on a hot summer day and enjoying it while I can. I’ve enjoyed him striking out 88 in 72 inings of work while working a 2.25 ERA and 1.10 WHIP. Delicious!

  12. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @BSA: Good point. It is far, far better to be the Cueoto-er than the Cueto-ee.

    re: Harden’s Dead Arm: Is anyone surprised? I have to think he hasn’t had this many consecutive starts since he was eight years old. No doubt his arm is all like, What is going on? Why do you keep making me do that throwing thing? Isn’t it time we just go lie down for a rest?

    I have just sent a trade proposal to my most hated enemy in the Regular League. Because I am a fair man. An honest man. A man of principle. Plus, I would enjoy pantsing him but good.

    Since Bay just got traded in the RCL, and he’s one of my trade targets here, what do we think of good Jason Bay? He’s quietly putting together a very good season.

    I guess when someone plays on the Pirates, everything they do is done “quietly.”

  13. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    WOW. They just did it.

    The Braves demoted Frenchy.

    To Double AA.

    Ouch.

  14. BSA says:
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    Myers and Frenchy in the same week. Now to add Gagne to that mix and they can they their own Ménage à trois in the minors.

  15. BSA says:
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    If Harden did go down my back-ups in free agency will probably be either Lester or Baker.

  16. BSA says:
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    Then again since I just picked up Liriano I might just let Harden sit.

  17. RT says:
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    @BSA: ’cause he ain’t getting on base much.

  18. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: I can’t take this anymore, dropped Swish for Thome, and I will be waiting tonight for Swish to hit 2 homers and 6 RBIs.

  19. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Tony B.: Baker, McGowan, Nolasco, Cook — but I want to put McGowan lower and Cook higher, if that makes sense. Willingham, Butler, Ludwick, Huff, punt.

    @wakeNbake: Pelfrey alks too many, doesn’t K enough.

    @Steve: I want Berkman.

    @Mike: I don’t like Granderson, but I’d want him there. I really don’t trust Wainwright to come back and be safe.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Cueto

    @BSA: re: Harden — hehe

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: re: Bay — His season has been fine thus far, but I’d rather be selling him.

    re: Frenchy — It makes sense to demote him, but I’m really shocked. This might the biggest surprise to me all season. I don’t like guys who don’t know how to walk, but he had bee productive for a long enough time now that I thought he figured out how to get around not taking a walk. Very surprising, and at same time not at all.

    @Zebo: What did you do to Swisher to make him despise you?

  20. BSA says:
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    Zumaya as a starter?! Brings a tear to my eye.

  21. Nick says:
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    I got Big Z & Guthrie going today. I know I’m startin Big Z against St. Louis but do you start Guthrie against Texas? He has a 5.40 ERA & 1.56 WHIP against them career (3 games), which is not to good.

  22. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: That would be cool to see.

    @Nick: I start him.

  23. Mike says:
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    you’d trade wainwright for scott baker str8 up?

  24. Nick says:
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    You would pickup Slowey over Garza,Lester,Campillo right? Specifically looking to start Slowey against Cleveland tomorrow…

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Nick: You listed them exactly as I would’ve ranked them.

    BTW, EVERYONE — Happy 4th. Go lose a thumb!

  26. James says:
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    Veal Saltimbocca sounds spectacular right now. Also, picking up a Kobayashi on the 4th of July is always a solid move.

  27. Freak says:
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    Today is the first day I will be able to play Chris Davis.

    It’s not like he was called up 8 days ago or anything and I missed out on 3 home runs and 7 rbis.

    grumble grumble.

  28. BSA says:
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    More on Zumaya from CBS – “For the remainder of 2008, the hard-throwing Zumaya will remain in relief for the Tigers and possibly end the season as the closer. Think of him as a solid Fantasy middle reliever for leagues that use true middle men at this current time.”

  29. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @James: Has anyone ever gone wrong with baby cow?

    @Freak: It’s total crap. I agree.

    @BSA: I see no reason why he’s not closing by late-July. Jones sucks and the Tigers will start winning and want to close out games in confidence.

  30. wakeNbake says:
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    pretty big trade….I get Corey Hart, Manny Ramirez, Gavin Floyd for Berkman, Torii Hunter and Wainwright….whats ur opinion on this one

  31. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @wakeNbake: I want the Berkman side, not by a lot, but by enough.

  32. Mike says:
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    My closing situation…..Morrow, Mike Gonzalez, Marte, Wheeler, Kobayashi. I also have T. Buchholz….praying Fuentes gets traded. For now I have closers, bad closers (beside Morrow) on bad teams (beside Wheeler) but hey their closers. After Percival and Putz come back tho im not sure what Im going to have. So my question….Rafael Soriano is on waiver wire. Would u add him if you were in my situation just to kno u at least have all of Atlanta’s saves? Whats Soriano’s deal if he somehow comes back and stays healthy, would he get chances? Is it Gonzalez’s job?

  33. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: Actually, I was in a similar situation today. I dropped Frenchy and had the chance to pickup Soriano in a 15 team league. I let him pass. Barring Gonzalez coming down with an injury, Soriano’s not worth rostering in your situation either.

  34. cruisinkc says:
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    Better spot start tomorrow…?
    Jo-Jo Reyes vs Hou
    Aaron Laffey @ MN
    Gallarraga @ Seattle

  35. Mike says:
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    Torii Hunter and McGowan for Granderson and Guthrie….which side u like?

  36. wakeNbake says:
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    by the way…. happy 4th to Grey, Rudy and everyone here at Razzball. Enjoy the weekend guys.

  37. Steve says:
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    Hawpe & K Johnson too much for Cano?

  38. wakeNbake says:
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    How do you feel about Carlos Gomez for the second half?

  39. Mike says:
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    Buy low on Figgins?

  40. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Yeah.

    @wakeNbake: Same as first? Bunch of speed. Steep learning curves for getting on base. No sort of consistency, but some bursts of speed if you happen to have him when he gets hot.

    @Mike: If you can get him cheap enough, I think so.

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