Max Scherzer is finally starting to post some non-apocalyptic ERA/WHIP results to go along with his thunderous league-leading K totals. A 7 inning / 1 ER / 9 K win against the Pujoless Angels marks his 4th straight start with a Win, 6+ IP, 2 ER or less, and 8+ Ks (this was actually his 8th straight start with 8+ Ks!). His season ERA and WHIP are still north of 4.00/1.30 but he will under those marks in nein time at this rate. I imagine the only thing scarier than facing Mad Max Scherzer right now is imagining him channel his inner Mel Gibson (1980′s crazy, charismatic version) and intimidating the opposition by popping his pitching shoulder in and out of the socket between pitches. Anyway, in other news…
Delmon Young - 5-for-8 over the weekend with 2 doubles and a HR at home against the Angels. Luckily, there are no Jewish panhandlers in Detroit or else he might have re-channeled his inner Mel Gibson (2000′s crazy, Anti-Semitic version)
Albert Pujols - Missed the past four days with a strained calf. The MRI showed no major damage but there is still doubt whether he will be back for the Angels’ next game on Tuesday. Man, I remember when Pujols was younger and his body was so chocked full of stem cells that he could break a finger on a hit by pitch and his knuckle would regenerate by the time he got to first base.
Jason Kipnis - 3 SBs against the Yanks on Sunday which almost doubles his SB count since July 1. He’s hit about .200 during that time with 1 HR. Incidentally, the definition for Kipnis in Moishe’s Yiddish dictionary is “a man who cannot get hits when it gets too hot and he starts to schvitz”.
Freddy Garcia - Here is a riddle. How did starting pitcher Freddy Garcia leave the game with a 3-2 lead in a game his team won 4-2 and still not get a Win? Because he only managed to get through 4 2/3 IP. Nice job, Jabroney!
Ike Davis - 2 HRs to supply all the offense in in a 2-1 Mets win over the Astros. He now has as many HRs after the ASB (12) as he did before it. I like 2nd half Ike more than I like 1st half Ike but I’d like him even more if he didn’t react so violently when offered help by his hitting coach.
Jeremy Hefner - Lost the win and the shutout against the Lastros by giving up a run in the 9th. The Met fans were super disappointed as his Uncle Hugh had offered free party invites at the mansion if he threw a shutout. Hefner’s performance to date has been spotty but he’s worth streaming in the right matchup.
Matt Holliday - 4-for-5 with the Wee Willie Keeler cycle (1B,2B,3B, another 1B) and 4 RBIs. It looks like Holliday has overcome Beltran’s crazy hot start to be the most valuable Cardinal in the Player Rater. While that’s great, Matt, I would not celebrate just yet. I know, it would be so nice. But it’s a long season.
Allen Craig - 3-for-5 with a HR (#20) and 3 RBI. It would be difficult to figure out a way to play Berkman, Craig, and Freese in the same lineup but luckily at least one of them is hurt at all times.
Joe Saunders - Traded by the Diamondbacks to the Orioles. The Diamondbacks are opening up spots for young pitchers while the Orioles can’t bear to watch any more of theirs.
Tim Hudson – Gets the W in a 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, and 3 K start. He’s now 13-4 this year and 194-101 in his career. His K/ERA/WHIP are never exciting but he is the epitome of a solid 4th/5th SP in shallow leagues.
Cliff Lee - Gets the W in a 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, and 5 K start. Improves his record to 3-7, finally catching up to the win total of immortal Phillie teammate Raul Valdes who has pitched 29 IP to Lee’s 161.
Nate Jones - The most valuable fantasy pitcher over the weekend as he got Wins on both days for the White Sox. He is 7-0 on the season despite 1.53 WHIP in 50 IP. Jose Quintana has 5 Wins for the White Sox despite 110 IP with a 1.19 WHIP. And that concludes the “Whining about the number of Wins that pitchers on 1+ of our teams have”.
Joey Votto – Hoping to return next weekend after a small rehab assignment. Hopefully the rehab goes better than that of his sister Demila.
Jose Bautista - Two days back and he is returning to the DL with wrist inflammation. Based on this video, an inflamed wrist seems cool but probably does not mix well with a wooden bat. Doubt we will see Joey Bats again this year. So good news, Moise Sierra fan!
Brandon Morrow - Back after 2 1/2 months on the DL and, unlike Bautista, managed not to go back on the DL after his start. He had 7 Ks on Sunday but was only able to get through 4 2/3 IP. The big number was that he only threw 1 BB. If his BBs are in order, Morrow is a must own in all leagues.
Mark Rogers - Went 5 shutout innings for the win against the Pirates and managed to throw 101 pitches despite only 3 hits and 3 walks. Nice foul balls, Pittsburgh! He is fine to stay away from outside of the easiest of streams.
Carlos Gomez - The lesser CarGo went for the slam with the double side of legs. I haven’t paid too much attention to Milwaukee this year (do not own anyone on it) but is anyone else shocked he has 13 HRs and 26 SBs this year in less than 300 ABs? If you are desperate for SBs, he is worth a try.
Erik Bedard - Crapped the bed (4 2/3, 6 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks) in what seemed like an attractive stream given Milwaukee’s road hitting challenges and the charmed home splits of seemingly every Pirate pitcher (Bedard’s home/road ERA split going into the game was 3.26/6.98). I think I liked him better when he was mostly good and seldom healthy vs. mostly healthy and seldom good.
MaLoney - Yeah, that’s my made-up name for Adrian Gonzalez’s replacements – Mauro Gomez and James Loney. They each got a start over the weekend with Gomez having the much better game (4-for-6, HR, 3 RBI). I would not be surprised to see the Sawx give Gomez an extended shot and potentially DFA Loney. Loney had such potential – if only he had a coach in LA that understood the challenges of playing 1B on a major market team.
Jason Heyward - HR’d in all three games @SF which is a notoriously tough place for lefties to hit HRs unless you are on steroids. Heyward is now at 24/19 for the year and making his way into the top 30 on the Player Rater. I don’t think he will ever steal more than 15 SBs in a season again but it wouldn’t shock me if he hit 35+ HRs next year.
Chris Volstad - LOWERED his ERA to 6.28 in 6 2/3 shutout innings at home against the Rockies. Think injuries and apathy are causing the Rockies to pack it in. Look at this lineup: 1. Blackmon, 2. LeMahieu, 3. Pacheco, 4. CarGo, 5. Rosario, 6. Colvin, 7. Nelson, 8. Herrera, 9. Chacin. Even Ron Gardenhire would have a tough time getting that many utility players into a lineup.
Alex Gordon - A 4 RBI game while managing to avoid hitting a HR. He has managed to maintain last year’s AVG/OBP gains (.299/.366) but lost the power (9 HRs). He is finally living up to the expectations the Royals had for Mark Teahen.
Adrian Gonzalez - Hit a 3-run HR in his first AB as a Dodger. He is instantly Sylvester Stallone’s favorite Dodger hitter since Mickey ”Piss Lightning and Crap Thunder’ Hatcher.
Alfredo Aceves - Received a 3 game suspension from the Red Sox for a verbal altercation with Bobby Valentine. It probably started with some frustration over Andrew Bailey (pick him up if you need saves!) getting the latest save opportunity but Aceves crossed the line when the Mexican-born pitcher made a snide comment that his people invented the wrap before Bobby Valentine. ”When was the last time someone served cold cuts in a burrito, Alfredo? Answer me that one, muchacho.”