Here’s what I said last year about Mat Gamel and his comparison to Ryan Braun, “Ryan Braun, The Hebrew Hammer, hits for average, power and butchered plays at 3rd base. Well, Gamel can slug with the best of them and plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy in a celebrity softball game. Not to mention, his name is almost Gimel, which is the third letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The similarities are endless!” And that’s me quoting me! Wanna really blow your mind? I wrote a Mat Gamel fantasy baseball outlook post back in December of last year. Prescient ain’t just a word I can’t spell without Dictionary.com, it’s a state of mind! So what can we expect of him, he’s better than Nolan Reimold. Right now. He can hit. I could even see grabbing him in ten team leagues. He could be The Difference Maker (which would be a great name for a professional wrestler). The only thing holding Gamel back is he fields like he has two left feet — on the end of his arms. If the Brewers dare to play him every day over their blahtoon of Hall and Counsell, you should play him too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Ludwick – To the DL. “Hello, Rasmus.” “Hey, Duncan, you wanna play every day?” “Sure.”
Gerardo Parra – This one doesn’t walk people, he runs. He replaced Krispie last night and might spell Byrnes on some occasions. He’s a solid pickup for the speed deprived. Parra’s upside is what Maybin should’ve done — 5 homers, 25 steals. He shouldn’t be a liability on average. Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he should be grabbed in all NL-Only leagues and mixed leagues deeper than 12 teams.
Nolan Reimold – Getting the call. Ceiling is 20 homers and a .280 average. Let’s see, for right now: Gamel, Reimold, Coghlan, Parra, LaPorta, in that order. And all are better than Hochevar.
Bryan Augenstein – 6 IP, 5 ER, 3 K. Augenstein reminds me a bit of Slowey because of how few walks he issues. Just remember how Hochevar stole your innocence.
Carl Crawford – Left with a bruised shoulder. Should be okay. Get well soon, Carl!
Adam Jones – Left the game with a hamstring strain. Might be headed to the DL. Somebody totally harshed his buzz.
Jimmy Rollins – In Premiere’s “Spotted” section, it said that someone saw Rollins do something productive yesterday.
Alexei Ramirez – 3-for-3 yesterday. Do this for another month and we’ll be even.
Ryan Zimmerman – Here comes the 0-for-30 game streak. Kidding. He’s going to be a top five 3rd baseman this year. Recognize!
Cliff Lee – 7 IP, 0 ER, 9 Ks and the Win. I’m done fighting it. Doode turned a corner somewhere. I’m not trading for him, but I can understand it.
Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 4 ER, 6 Ks. More in line with what I expect from him, but still a few more strikeouts.
Jo-Jo Reyes – 3 IP, 5 ER. Tommy Hanson begins to pack his Hypercolor t-shirts and Zubaz pants.
Scott Richmond – 1 2/3 IP, 5 ER. Told ya he wasn’t long for your team. I wouldn’t start him again in any league. As they say on shuffleboard courts, he’s kaput.
Ty Wigginton – Hit his 2nd homer of the year yesterday. Shot in the dark here, but Wigginton gets real hot for a couple of weeks at a time. This might be one of those times.
Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 3 ER. He’ll be about a 3.25 ERA pitcher this year. That’s very good.
Joel Pineiro – 6 IP, 5 ER. See what I said about Richmond then multiply it by three.
Matt Palmer – Complete game, 4 ER to move to 4-0 on the year. Before you get crazy with yourself, he’s a thirty-year-old rookie and he’s not Dennis Quaid.
Kip Wells – 2nd save and only one run allowed. Kip walking into the clubhouse, “What can’t Kip Wells do?! What!?” Heckler, “Pitch effectively for any extended period of time.” Kip lowers his head and sighs.
Ross Ohlendorf – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks. Talk to the Dorf!
Juan Pierre – I love guys who steal bases up six runs. You go, Juan! Get you some, gluttony!
Shairon Martis – 7 IP, 1 ER and his fifth win (the Nats only have 11!) With a first name like an Israeli prime minister or an Osbourne, you want to write off Shairon Martis, but he’s not pitching above his head right now outside from Wins. I’d grab him in mixed leagues as a 5th starter.
Ryan Theriot – 2 HRs to bring his total of what the effs to 5. Guess hiring Jose Canseco as his new strength and conditioning coach wasn’t such a bad idea.
Geovany Soto – Finally.
Chris Young – 4 IP, 6 ER. Trouble with fly ball pitchers if the wind’s blowing out.
Adrian Gonzalez – 2 HRs and one call to his agent, “Can you get me out of Petco?”
Rickie Weeks – Hit his 9th homer yesterday and is hitting .286. At some point, he’ll chuck in 15 to 20 steals too. This could be the year where owners finally see what he can do when he stays healthy.
Ricky Nolasco – 3 2/3 IP, 8 ER. At this point, he’s probably ending up on waivers in some leagues, but if he’s still owned, I’d fleece his owners as they struggle to sit down.
Chris Coghlan – Member that month long leash Maybin had to hang himself? Yeah, Coghlan’s now getting it. Hopefully, he can make a Windsor knot from the noose and call it a tie.
Dontrelle Willis – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER. There’s nothing that a big Miguel Olivo hug can’t fix.
Brandon Lyon – 2 2/3 IP, 5 ER. You think when Leyland sent him out there for the 3rd inning he just wanted the game to be over so he could go have a smoke?
Garrett Atkins – 0-for-4, batting .195 on the year. Clint Barmes is out slugging him .415 to .319. In case anyone’s confused, Barmes is not having a good season.
Troy Percival – 1/3 IP, 4 ER. Wasn’t a save situation, but it was still a pounding. I picked up Wheeler in a league, just in case.
Josh Hamilton – Two games from the DL. Two homers. As his street value rises.
Russell Branyan – HR yesterday. I’ve owned him in one league all year. 17/7/31/.271 — Not bad, right? Yeah, those are Prince Fielder’s numbers. Branyan’s 20/8/16/.286/1 — And I didn’t draft Branyan in the 2nd round. Cust kayin’.