Francisco Rodriguez will miss the rest of the season; he needs surgery to repair a torn ligament in his thumb that he injured in his sparring match. Cut me, Mackey Sasser, cut me! On a not that serious but kinda serious note, besides Nolan Ryan, are all pitchers the wimpiest athletes? Coach, I have a hangnail, I think you’re gonna have to scratch me. No, not on my back, I mean from the game. BTW, is there a wimpier word than wimpy? You know who really sounds like a wimp? The person using the word wimp. Seriously, tell me a weaker sentence in the English language than, “You’re such a wimp.” Wait, I know one, “I hurt myself punching my kids’ grandfather.” I think the saves will go to Hisanori Takahashi, who notched the save yesterday, Bobby Parnell then Feliciano, in that order. Maybe now my catchphrase from a few years back that never caught on “Au Bon Japan!” will catch on. In most leagues, I’d ignore this shituation. If you really need saves, you know what you need to do. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jon Niese – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Really only has one bad start since June, kinda should be owned everywhere. Plus, between innings, they showed him jumping rope while filming a workout video.
Matt Lindstrom – 1/3 IP, 2 ER, technically it was a Kazaam, but Lindstrom’s been battling back woes and I have to think they’re still an issue. Hold Lyon for now. Rawr!
Nelson Cruz – Landed back on the DL yesterday or as Cruz calls it, Monday. Will this guarantee the already hot David Murphy continues to get a-bees? Sí.
Cliff Lee – 7 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 10 Ks. Obviously he wasn’t himself because he walked one hitter.
Miguel Tejada – 4-for-5 and 9 for his last 14. He’s really doing nothing, except hitting for average over the last few days, but there ya go.
Russell Branyan – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in three games. You know who picked him up for their short schedule lineup? Yours truly! Yours Truly, “No, I didn’t.” No, I meant me. Yours Truly, “You don’t know how often that happens.”
Adam Jones – 3-for-5 to raise his average to .285. Wow, when did he start hitting .285? That was a trick question, I just told you. Jones is hitting .390 in August. Unfortunately, he hit 2 homers in July and 2 homers so far in August and one steal in both months combined.
James McDonald – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Like a hot knife through butter! I might be a damn fool for this, but I like McDonald. He has 27 Ks in 25 1/3 IP. In 17 2/3 IP as a Pirate, he’s only thrown 4 BBs while notching 20 Ks. No, I wouldn’t go crazy with myself over him in a 10 team league, but he could be valuable in deep leagues.
Andrew McCutchen – 2-for-4 with the slam & legs. Those are delicious, aren’t they?
Ryan Doumit – 0-for-4 as he played right field while Snyder caught. Don’t think this is the smartest of moves by the Pirates, but it could help with at-bats for both.
Shaun Marcum – 9 IP, 1 ER, 2 baserunners (1 Hit), 5 Ks. Another day, another one-hitter. Ho-hum. It struck me last night that if you had only owned Romero, Marcum, Cecil, Morrow and Gregg, you’d have a 3.66 ERA with 545 Ks, 41 Wins and 27 saves in 602 IP. I’m not sure what that means, but it depresses me.
Javier Vazquez – 4 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks. If he gets hit in his next start vs. the M’s, I’d drop him in most leagues.
Ryan Raburn – Hit his 3rd homer in his last 4 games. He has 2nd base eligibility; don’t make me keep harping on him.
Jose Valverde – 1 1/3 IP, 1 ER. Nice that they hold him out for two days with a strained abdominal then throw him for 38 pitches over two innings. Maybe Leyland planned to take him out, but went for a smoke break. I’d hold Perry on my bench if I were desperate for saves.
Chad Billingsley – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks as he threw his 6th straight quality start, but was once again the tough luck loser. Not sure why, but I never own dumb luck winners. While December Grey churns out 2011 rookie and sleeper posts, I might take a pilgrimage to Mecca to try and turn my Win Karma around for next year.
Hong-Chih Kuo – 1 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Joe Torre (or was it Paul Sorvino?) got greedy and brought Kuo into the 8th inning for the two inning save, but Kuo got into trouble in the ninth and gave way to…
Octavio Dotel – Who promptly blew the save when Melky creamed him. This might be an elaborate plot to make Broxton look good.
Jamey Carroll – 2-for-4 with his 3rd steal in his last 4 games. Jamey had 4 bags, but Frank McCourt took one back, screaming, “No one makes Frank a cuckold!”
Bryce Harper – Signed by the Nats for $9.9 million. No word on how much of that goes for royalties to The Ultimate Warrior.