USA Today might no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….
Greetings friends, acquaintances and ex-wives! Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants! I can’t wait to see your parade where you celebrate your pride…. How about the fact that whomever won Bengie Molina was guaranteed a ring? That reminds me of my 4th marriage…. I’m so happy for Cody Ross’ family. His great-great-great grandmother was a wonderful woman and a hell of a seamstress…. I once bought a day old bagel and cracked a tooth. Since then “I feared the schmeared….” Some of you might have saw the great matriarch, Barbara Bush, at game four. She wasn’t keeping score, we were doing some old school texting… I do wish both teams could’ve won the World Series. Then some of my hedge bets would’ve made sense…. I just don’t understand Paranormal Activity 2. Why don’t they just buy a nightlight?… You know what never gets old? A conversation with my doorman…. The sales people at Best Buy are so knowledgeable. They knew exactly why I was feeling a jolt every time I used my universal remote. Will have to have Dr. Kapawitz look at my pacemaker…. Michael Jackson would be so happy to see his parents raise his children…. Does anyone know where I put my pants?… Isn’t it crazy the way Angelenos talk? It’s all Spanish to me! Ah, there’s my pants, on the ol’ gams like they should be…. Where’s Bob Newhart been? He stole my hand soaps…. Youtube looks like a Kenyan name….
Sorry , Mr King, but Youtube sounds more like Ethiopean to me.
if only your great grandmother , Rose , had an affair with this guy , instead .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wNK1Jt4JLg
that would , at least explain the moustache .
AND , why your picture never seems to age .
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! Don’t know what to make of this, but definitely worth a few laughs.
(X) Not Real
Hey LK and all the other razz writers — I’m trying to do a little math exercise related to fantasy and have a couple questions relating to some data you guys pulled together last year…if you don’t mind can I send a personal email somewhere. If so you can shoot me a message at dbhammel@gmail.com
Thanks!
@Beau: They have an email you can contact to them on the info page.
@Stephen: Thanks Stephen, was looking for that link and just found it now…
WTF? Larry is completely insane. That bizarre diatribe sounds like the word salad my schizophrenic patients spew out when they are off their meds. Hang it up Larry, you’re done.
@DrEasy: Hehe
@big o: Cryogenics
@Beau: info [at] razzball.com
Add my name to the legion of fans thrilled to see Larry King’s return to Razzball.
@peter: I’m sure Larry would be excited to hear that, assuming ‘excitement’ doesn’t hurt him.
Finally, I’ve waited all season for those old bones to show up.
It’s all Spanish to me!
So, Brian Wilson’s postgame signal is a celebration of (among other things) his Christian faith):
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Brian-Wilson-ends-World-Series-with-most-specia?urn=mlb-281783
I wonder what the local pastor thinks of Wilson having Pat the Bat creeping around his house in assless chaps.
I thought Larry hedged a bet on the sanfransico cuckold’s? guess i was wrong
@nmdunkel: Larry never disappoints his fans.
@Broccoli Roberts: Hehe
@Steve: Yeah, heard about that when the Casey Blake feud was happening. Google Casey Blake + Brian Wilson to see what I mean.
@Jcom: Ha
@Grey: Ah yes, now I see.
Dorky thing for Blake to do, but Wilson (and every other sportsman, in fact) needs to keep that shizz private.
@Steve: I don’t mind Wilson actually. Feel like in general baseball needs more personalities. Is it bad that I just Google stalked this girl I met and randomly emailed her? Save me from myself!
@Grey: Oh, I’m all for personalities, but I think there are other ways of getting it out there than making a big show of stuff that is essentially private.
Brian Wilson has a beard that looks like it cost $2 from a joke shop – that’s cool, I can get behind that. He’s a Christian? Big whoop.
Is this the Halloween girl?
@Steve: Yeah, the beard stuff was more what I was referring to. Nah, different girl. Found her Twitter account. I’ll let you Google her for her picture, but I’m going to add P’s after every letter so she doesn’t Google herself and find this thread:
cpapspspipdpy rpapsptp
@Grey: Unless she’s going to think you’re some kind of weirdo, I’m thinking it’s OK.
That said, I haven’t tried to pick up a girl since the late-20th century, so I’m not sure what the protocols are anymore.
@Steve: Yeah, not sure. Met her at a film screening and left it kinda obtuse. Speaking of which, Fair Game is a great movie. Will probably be nominated for an Oscar. It’s not out yet, but there ya go.
@Grey: Well if you left it obtuse, a random email seems kinda fitting (emoticon).
Serves her right for not covering her tracks as well as some people I could mention (emoticon II).
@Steve: Ha, very true.
So, when does Game 6 sta….
What?
Oh.
@Steve: It’s over, Steve. Over.
@Grey: I don’t sit near a TV anymore, so didn’t have quite the thrall for me this year – nor for a lot of other people it seems.
It’s a real shame the Rangers’ hitting was so lame, but the Giants pitching has to take some credit for that, I guess.
Apart from 2011 projections, any big off-season priorities?
@Steve: Yeah, actually working on it right now, but I wanna keep it hush-hush for now.
@Grey: Ah, right you are (taps side of nose conspiratorially).
As you were.
@Steve: Is there anything with the site that you think I should do for next year? Like a big ticket item.
@Grey: You know, there’s nothing that really jumps out. The quality of discourse here I think is testimony to how well the Razz suits people’s needs.
Maybe if you were able to aggregate and display the info from all my various leagues here (based on a login or username or something), I wouldn’t have to take my clicks off to ESPN/Yahoo/CBS/whatever to keep track of what’s happening.
On a lesser scale, as someone who browes Razzball on a mobile device ***a lot***, it would be great to be able to post a comment via email and having links to be able to jump straight to the top or bottom of the comments would be great. At the height of the season, it can take an awful lot of screen-swiping to get down to the ‘Leave a Reply’ box.
@Steve: Good suggestions! Yeah, the few times I comment using my iPhone it takes a while to swipe down. Have noticed that.
@Grey: You know what I do? I have Opera Mini on my BlackBerry, so I do a “Find in page” on the word ‘required’.
Takes me straight to the bottom of the thread…
@Steve: That’s handy. Literally! Not sure if I have that capability on my iPhone.
@Grey: BlackBerry wins!
Seriously, I assume you use Safari to browse on your iPhone? ‘Find in page’ is pretty standard browser functionality, I think.
@Steve: You would think, right? I don’t know if there’s Command keys though.
@Grey:
http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/finally_find_in_page_comes_to_mobile_safari.php
@Steve: Thanks! They do have some nerve charging for that capability.
@Grey:
some team rosters were listed here so many times , not only
could I recite them , but felt , at times , like they were
community teams , or , wards of the state , if you will .
@Grey: You’re not wrong. Smacks of something that Jobs never uses, so doesn’t think anyone else would either.
Think there might be a free version though:
http://news.softpedia.com/news/iPhone-Review-Find-in-Page-for-Safari-136323.shtml
@big o: Ha, very true.
@Steve: Thanks! That should work.
@Grey:
so , this new friend ,
the one with the painted face ,
was this the result of karaoke night ?
@big o: Nah, see comment #23 for where I met her.
@Grey:
see any of the riot clips from ktvu ?
@big o: They in response to prop 19 not passing? Jk, stoners don’t riot!
@big o: Yeah, saw a bit of it.
@Grey:
@royce!:
seems to be a combo of booze , sports idolatry , & , testosterone .
long gone are the days when san franciscans blew off a little steam
in the city’s bath houses .
pardon the euphemism .
http://www.ktvu.com/video/25602908/index.html
@big o: That is certainly a bummer. However, I feel like I see videos like that every time a team in any major sport wins a championship. Is my cynicism overpowering my memory?
@big o: Thanks for the link! So weird watching it. That’s celebrating?
@royce!:
nope .
i’m gonna get me a color tee vee .
Hey Grey,
At the risk of being presumptuous, may I make a request or suggestion for the site? I don’t have anything groundbreaking to add– I just was hoping that y’all could split up the forums into different sports. Once football kicked in (off?) this year, I completely lost interest in the forums because I didn’t want to wade through a bunch of unfamiliar names. Since then I haven’t really browsed the forums.
And another suggestion, though not site-related. I got a couple CDs recently that I thought you might enjoy, and the bands are playing at the el rey together later this month. The bands are the Moondoggies (terrible name, at least for those from SD), and Dawes. Both have that My Morning Jacket/Neil Young/etc. thing going on, which I can’t resist.
I see that the forums have been broken up into sports. My bad. But what would be awesome is if I could somehow view “active topics” and “unanswered posts” by sport.
@Grey:
this one makes me laugh :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bZk7BIdCns&feature=related
1st , it was ganjavany soto ,
and now , this :
http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/mlb/news/story?id=5742338&campaign=rss&source=CHICAGOHeadlines
@royce!: Thanks for the music suggestion! I’ll ask my web guy if it’s possible to separate active topics and unanswered posts that way.
@big o: That’s insane. I like how the guy thought it was a good idea to climb up there then others thought it was smart to try and knock him off.
@big o: Wow, the Cubs catchers love their doobie.
On my new MacBook, a three-finger swipe on the tracker pad zooms me straight to the bottom of the page!
Yeah! So now I can comment before finding out if anyone else already beat me to my lame joke!
@Bum Juice: Someone mentioned that above.
@Steve: And she just got back to me. Who’s the man?
@Grey: That BABIP is not sustainable.
@Steve: I’m hoping for a clean single up the middle. What?
@Grey: Ewww.
I’d say you’re gonna have to start becoming more sympathetic to the plight of indigenous peoples.
@Grey: Oh man, you actually had me for a second. I’m an idiot. (Won my league, though, suckas! Thanks for the help, Grey!)
@Steve: Yeah, I’m guessing I’d have to pretend to be sympathetic to a lot of things.
@Grey: And maybe put a dinner plate in your lower lip.
@Bum Juice: No problem. (Someone thanked me above too.)
@Steve: A dinner plate in your lower lip? Is that an expression?
@Steve: You know what’s weird, the fire alarm got her Master’s in Australia.
@Grey: Not very politically correct of me:
http://www.weddingcometrue.com/lip-plate/
@Grey: You’re down with the peoples of the South Pacific!
Holy Shit. Never thought I would be big upping Schwarzenegger on this site, but from his (why-am-I-here?) speech at the Giants parade:
“And you know, as the Terminator, I thought I was the machine, but I hear you Giants also have a machine, yes?”
@Steve: Wow, that was new to me. Lip plates are sexy!
@Bum Juice: Ha! I hadn’t heard that, that’s classic.
@Grey: None of those plates in NZ.
Clearly you need to get down here, though.
@Steve: I’d love to get down there. It’s easily top five places I want to travel to.
@Grey: Say the word and I’ll bust out the hammock.
@Steve: Word!
@Grey: Ha! I believe we’ve been here before, but whatevs:
http://www.pricy-spicy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/royal-botania-hammock-copy2.jpg
Or if you come in winter:
http://www.pricy-spicy.com/fur-hammock-for-a-winters-nap/
@Steve: Ha! I like the fur one. I do remember the other one from a prior linking.
@Grey: Looked up your person of interest. Returned: “This person has protected their tweets.” Looks like you’re out of luck.
@simply fred: You don’t aim low, bro’. Nice!
My starting 5 in a 16 team league coming into 2011 were Vazquez, Hamels, Dempster, Oswalt and J Sanchez.
Vaz stunk up the joint but the other 4 were pretty good. Problem is I always pick garbage hitters. Year after year it’s the same. Stable pitching, scouring the WW for hitting.
So you don’t like Latos for 2011? He’s gonna be one of my keepers… heh.
Crap sorry. In my haste to post this at work, I clicked on the wrong post. Meant to reply to the top fantasy SP post.
@papasmurf: I’m confused, your starting five were the guys listed but Latos is your keeper? Latos is a keeper for the right price. I’m worried about the September fall off and the IP jump.