The first time Manny Ramirez went on waivers was before the 2004 season when the Sawx dared any team to accept his $20MM/year contract. No one did and he helped the Sawx win the World Series. Now it’s the Dodgers’ turn. Say goodbye to Mannywood? Could be. If no one dares take him, the McCourts will be fighting over custody of him during the divorce proceedings (You take him…No, you take him…No, you take him to Central Park and let him play on the jungle gym then, when he falls, carry him 20 blocks to the nearest ER). Hopefully for Manny’s sake, the Patron Saint of Bad Contracts (Kenny Williams of the ChiSox) claims him. If Manny goes to a new team, it could invigorate him like a healthy dose of estrogen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Octavio Dotel – In the closerousel in L.A., Dotel recorded the save. Broxton worked a perfect 8th, then Torre threw three relievers in the ninth with none of them being Kuo. Of course not, why would Kuo be used? He was only labeled the closer replacement while Broxton figures his shizz out. Assuming no meltdowns, Broxton will be the closer again soon.
Russell Branyan – In his last ten games, he has 6 homers in only 6 hits. It’s like he’s playing Intellivision.
Madison Bumgarner – 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER. After the Giants beat up on the Reds lefty rookie pitcher (Wood), the Reds returned the favor on the Giants’ Bumgarner. If there was any team you think would go easy on a lefty, it’s the Reds but they’ve now hit two solid lefties in a row.
Pablo Sandoval – 4-for-6 with a steal. He’s also 10 for his last 17. He’s much cuter when he’s hitting.
Juan Uribe – 3-for-6 with a homer in his 2nd straight game. Uribe gets crazy hot at times; this could be one of those times. Act like you know, MC Lyte.
Homer Bailey – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks. Wasn’t a great few days to be a pitcher in AT&T. I’d continue to hold Bailey for now.
Joey Votto – 4-for-7 with 2 homers. You know those mannequins that you put in your passenger seat so you can illegally ride in the carpool lane? I have one of those outfitted in a Votto jersey. Last week, we went to see Eat Pray Love at a drive-in, but we didn’t watch much of the movie.
Brandon League – Recorded the save in yesterday’s game even though Aardsma hadn’t been used in a few games. Something could be going on with Aardsma; I grabbed League in a few, uh, leagues.
Kila Ka’aihue – Two games, two homers. It’s on like Steve Wiebe from The King of Kong hitting a bong with some Vietcong.
Stephen Drew – 4-for-4 with 2 homers. From a guy who hasn’t had an extended hot streak for almost two years, this game was long overdue.
Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks. Nationals aren’t quite the pushover they have been in the past (partially because Nyjer Morgan will throw a ball at your head if you talk smack). This was just a solid start from a guy who has become a very reliable fourth fantasy starter. He’s like Ted Lilly-lite.
Adam Dunn – Made a cameo in last night’s Top Chef. He ate all the cheftestants’ dishes and then sucked up the Potomac River to quench his thirst. BTW, gray tuna? What, was it wearing an away uniform?
Aramis Ramirez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer. Soriano hit his 21st homer in this game. Are there two guys that got older overnight than these two? Oh, wait, here’s one…
Todd Helton – 3-for-5, hitting around .350 in the last week. SPOILER ALERT! I already wrote my lukewarm recommendation for Helton in Friday’s Buy/Sell.
Huston Street – Was seen warming up (by me) in the bullpen, but Tracy stayed with Belisle since Street had worked a few days in a row.
Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-5 with his 10th steal. *Grey drools*
Dexter Fowler – 1-for-3 with a Paul O’Neill homer (triple + error).
Omar Infante – 1-for-5 with his 7th homer, third in the majors in hitting since the All-Star Break. BTW, the Rockies and Giants both came back from 9 run deficits on the same day. Somewhere Tim Kurkijan is making dolphin noises.
Logan Morrison – 3-for-5, has hit in nine of his last ten games (still with no power). In 101 ABs, he has 14 BBs and only 19 Ks with a .391 OBP. At 23 years old! Yeah, I’ll be targeting him next year.
Cameron Maybin – 2-for-5 as he hit leadoff. Every time I try to get out, Maybin sucks me back in.
Alex Sanabia – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 1 K. Could roofie you at any time, but he looks to be emerging as a decent spot starter.
J.A. Happ – Revenge is a dish best served over 6 1/3 innings while giving up only 2 earned runs.
Michael Bourn – Hit a home run. I didn’t see it, but I’m assuming they let him hit from 2nd base.
Jimmy Rollins – 0-for-4, hitting .245, Victorino hitting .254, Utley’s at .271. Right now, the Phillies look pretty listless.
Marcus Thames – Two homers, two games. Since Berkman’s out with old age, Thames has seen pretty frequent starts. He’s also hitting over .300 over the last week and you know he has power.
Mike Napoli – 2-for-4, 6 RBIs with his 21st homer. I switched to a new blood pressure medicine, so I don’t want to even discuss how Napoli will probably be benched in the Angels’ next game. Sciosciapath!
Howie Kendrick – 5-for-6 with a RBI and 2 Runs. Since most of his fantasy value comes from his average, it’s good to see him finally get it up to .285. I’d put Kendrick on a short list of the most overrated players in fantasy. He’s owned in 100% of ESPN leagues. Ian Desmond, who really hasn’t been far away from him in value, is at 35%. Well, whatever. Can’t solve the world’s problems.
Dan Haren – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. Comatose Angels Fan, “Hey, been in this coma since March and just woke up yesterday. Awesome that we got Haren and we’re scoring 12 runs a game! We must be in first by what? 10 games?” Off my head shake. “Damn, those stupid Mariners are in front of us, aren’t they?” You should sit down, Comatose Angels Fan.
Jake Westbrook – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Looks like the novelty of the new league might be wearing off.
Aaron Hill – Hit his 19th homer, too bad he’s hitting .208 on the year. How does one even hit .208 over 414 at-bats? That’s 42 points off Adam Dunn’s career average.
Trevor Cahill – 7 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks. It’s appropriate his last name starts with a hard C, not a K.
Jeff Niemann – 3 1/3 IP, 10 ER. Hopefully you forgot to activate him. Personally, I’d forget to own him.
Jason Jaso – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer. Doesn’t have much power, but Jaso hits leadoff and has a .391 OBP.
Brian Matusz – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks. It took to almost the point where he’s about to get shutdown, but he’s been dominant of late. In his last 5 starts, he has an ERA of 2.32. It’s hard to recommend him because of his team and division, but he really can be this good.
Koji Uehara – Great, now this schmohawk is the closer. Earth to Buck Showalter, Mike Gonzalez has closer stuff! Buck said he won’t name a closer so you can either lose all of them or hold one. I’d hold Uehara simply because he’s recorded the last two saves.
Gordon Beckham – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer in as many games. Ozzie kills most of his value with the nine hole placement, but he has been hitting lately.
Dustin Pedroia – Francona arranged for Pedroia to talk to Michael Jordan because he suffered from a similar injury back in 1985. I know how this story ends. Jordan lures Pedroia to Vegas where his scrappiness and spunk are useless against the 15s and 16s he gets dealt at the blackjack table. He gets out of town with only his stubble and a pair of Hanes he got from Jordan.
Josh Beckett – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Mariners. According to Beckett, the Mariners offense is worth as much as an Alvin Davis rookie card.