First the Vernon Wells sleeper post (hahahahahahaha — terrible), then the Alex Rios sleeper post (hahahahahahahaha – worse), now a Kevin Youkilis sleeper post…. Seriously, am I getting old here? What the eff in the effhole? Where’s my youth love? My rookie nookie! I blame ESPN and the rest of the schmohawks out there in Internet land. Why does ESPN rank Youuuuuuk in the 2nd round last year <italics for emphasis>for them<italics for emphasis> and now he’s 100? I get that he had a bad year, but he’s done? Just like that? Fork’s in him? How is he being drafted in the 80’s of mock drafts? I understand he’s injury prone, but everyone’s done with The Greek God Of Limps? I have a lot of questions. So what makes Kevin Youkilis a 2012 fantasy baseball sleeper?
Okay, for the first question. Am I getting old? What the eff in the effhole? Second question first, the effhole, located next to the gee-hole, has eff in it, there’s no two ways about it. Now the first question about age. Well, I’m not getting younger, but I’m just pointing out where the market is incorrectly valuing someone. If the market incorrectly valued Brett Lawrie, I’d tell you to get all over him. The entire world is already all over him. I’m gonna be some stunod and tell you Lawrie is a sleeper. He’s not. It’s like telling you Apple is a popular company. Maybe ESPN would tell you that. I’m not going to. Last year, I told you Youuuuuuk was overrated. This year, not so much. I can’t help it. I’m just looking at the market. Okay, next question. Where’s my youth love? I have it. I love Lawrie, Jennings, Kershaw, Strasburg, Stanton… Oh God, do I love Stanton. I LOVE STANTON SO MUCH! Okay, Al Caps, chill. DON’T EVER ASK ME TO CHILL MY STANTON LOVE. Okay, fine. THANKS, SO HOW’S THINGS? I need to get back to the post. RIIIIIGHT. Those guys are young. Everyone knows about them. I can’t echo what everyone is telling you. It’s boring. Next question: Why does ESPN rank Youuuuuuk in the 2nd round last year <italics for emphasis>for them<italics for emphasis> and now he’s ranked 100? Because ESPN is basically scared of you. They tell you exactly what you want to hear. Last year they screamed from Mt. Bristol that Martin Prado was the best thing since the world invented things. Yeah, because Prado had just came off a career year and they knew you’d want that told back to you. You need to be told when someone has a career year? I’m still in shock how many people wanted me to tell them Ian Kennedy was good last year so he’ll be good this year. ESPN knows this. They play to this. Hey, Granderson was good in 2011, draft him this year! Wow, revolutionary, Che Berry. That takes about as much a limb as the broad from Boxing Helena. ESPN ranks Youuuuuuk 100th overall and says, “While the injury risk is still quite prevalent, when he is on the field, Youkilis should perform at his customary levels, a threat to hit .300 with 20-something homers.” That’s the same thing he was last year, but a year older. So you don’t draft him 40th overall, but he’s also not 100th. Next question, which will be a three-for-one, I get that Youuuuuuk had a bad year, but he’s done? Just like that? Fork’s in him? No, it was a tough year. He had hernia surgery, which gave me the willies just typing. It wasn’t like he’s a pitcher with a shoulder injury. Next question: How is he being drafted in the 80’s of drafts? Cause people have a short term memory. 3rd base isn’t pretty this year. If you have a corner infidel spot or missed out on a top 3rd baseman, I’d love to get Youuuuuuk 80 picks in. Finally: I understand he’s injury prone, but everyone’s done with The Greek God Of Limps? I’m not. Cough once if you like Youuuuuuk 8 rounds into a draft, cough twice if you see why Youuuuuuk is now a sleeper, cough three times if you have the flu.