Before we get into today’s Buy/Sell, I want to clear something up. Last week someone commented that my Buy/Sell post only had Buy guys in it for very deep leagues. This is sorta true. With only a little over a month left of the season, just about every league’s trade deadline has past. So I could tell you to buy Manny Ramirez, but how are you going to do that? I do believe in the last month of the season, there’s something else you should be doing. Or actually not doing. You should no longer be waiting around for production. Jermaine Dye‘s put up fine stats this year. You guys going to get a room in October and talk about his great May? If Rajai Davis is on your waivers and you need steals and don’t need power, forget Dye’s previous production and go for the here and now. You’re up against the clock, fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term). You only have so much time to make this shizz happen. If it’s going to happen. This is more or less for one year leagues. In keepers, you need to be prudent about who you can drop. Oh, and bee-tee-dubya, Jermaine Dye was dropped to fifth in the order and has one homer in the past month while batting .187. Cut the umbilical, doode. You guys are done. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell for this week in fantasy baseball:
Jack Cust – Wait, I know a better title for this post, “How To Bore The Crap Out Of Your Readers With Boring Ass Names?” Random italicized voice, you seem like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulders. No, not at all. Oh, okay. So Cust may be boring, but when do I tell you to pick up Cust? Maybe twice a year? This is one of those times. (Sidenote: When I was seven years old, I kept bugging my grandparents to take me to see the hookers in New York because I wanted to see if they really had hooks. So we go down a street in pre-Giuliani New York filled with prostitutes. Of course, my grandparents, being the first generation of ridiculous — me being the 3rd, pull up to a prostitute to ask her to show me her hook. As soon as the window goes down, the prostitute says to my grandfather regarding my grandmother, “Dump the b**ch and make the switch.” Ah, yes, memories.) To tie it back in, dump Dye and switch to Cust.
Jonathan Sanchez – If you throw out May and June when Sanchez was dirty, and only count the other months when he was filthy, he has a sub-3 ERA.
Scott Podsednik – Never been a big fan of Podsednik’s (though his wife is hot as dog balls), but he’s been terrific just about the whole season. He’s giving you a poor man’s Victorino right now. I will call you Feign Victorino.
John Smoltz – Wasn’t that long ago I was pretty down on Smoltz. Hey, it’s a fantasy baseball ‘pert’s prerogative to change his mind. Smoltz has a real nice schedule ahead and supposedly Carpenter spotted how he was tipping his pitches.
Leo Nunez – He’s been getting saves for 2 months now. He’s owned in only 19% of ESPN leagues. Finally, we figure out how many ESPN leagues have been abandoned.
Eric Young Jr. – SAGNOF!
Tim Hudson – Will return on Monday. I went over him in this morning’s post. Go ahead and scroll down. I’ll wait. *taps finger, sips water, burps* Hey, there you are! Okay, now lower your eyes to the next line. Lower… Lower… You’re still reading this line.
J.P. Wheelerfour – The Rays have very little room for error. If Howell continues to blow games, someone will be called in to replace him. Unfortunately, it’s not clear cut who that somebody will be.
Ryan Roberts – Besides sounding like someone who got their start in the talkies, Roberts has been on fire recently. Batting near .450 in the last week.
Michael Aubrey – Those Orioles always needing an Aubrey! Michael Aubrey’s been diddling himself for years in the minors, but the Orioles are giving him time vs. righties. I wouldn’t pick him up in mixed leagues, but in AL-Only leagues I’d take a flier.
Brandon Allen – Brandon Allen’s giving you his guarantee or your money back!!! I like Allen better than Aubrey by a lot, but I’m still not crazy for him in mixed leagues. I also went over him in the September call ups post-a-ma-whoosies.
Johan Santana – If he’s still owned in your league, your league has an absentee owner. Send that absentee owner an email telling them they suck.
Charlie Haeger – I hate knuckleballers. The pitch is too unpredictable for even the pitcher. At any moment, he could give you a roofie shellacking. So I won’t own Haeger. But he does have a decent matchup next. If you have room for risk, do what you do.
Chipper Jones – 420 at-bats. What is the type of at-bats Adam Jones has right after smoking a bowl? No, good guess though. It’s the over/under for Chipper this year. He’s at 381. So do you think he can hit 15 homers in the next 40 ABs that he’ll spread out over the course of a month? Or do you think you can find someone more valuable on waivers? This has a lot to do with your league, but Chipper’s struggling with a wrist injury and could be on the DL by September 15th. So it might be time to lose the glass Chipper in ten team leagues.