Jason Kipnis? More like bacon with Kaddish! Am I right, twelve-hundred and eleven Jew readers? What? Google tracks this shizz, don’t look at me. For all of y’all that be up in my grill day in and day out about Jean Segura’s crizzappy 2nd half, let’s go off topic to bring it back to topic, shall we? Thanks, expository question! Segura had a ridunkiculous 2nd half, if you’re dunking turds in a bucket. Tis true, homies and four homettes. I agree. He’s also 23 years old and was in his first major league season. Never before had he played that much, so he was probably tired. Well, he did play a lot the year he played winter ball in the 8th grade because his dad told him, “You either play ball for 12 months or work at my pizza place, Papa Jean’s. Oh, and if anyone asks you about the lawsuit, Papa John’s and Papa Jean’s are not the same thing.” Segura was also hurt at the end of last year. But no excuses, he wasn’t good in the 2nd half with one homer and 17 steals. So, Kipnis, who the world and thy Lord in Fantasy Heaven, likes, did what exactly last year in the 2nd half? 4 homers and 9 steals. YAY!!! Seriously, I’m going to jump off the Bridge Of Who Cares after reading those numbers. Kipnis is also 26 years old and did the exact same tail off the previous year in the 2nd half, so this is a pattern you don’t need to be a knit maker to spot. So why is Jason Kipnis overrated for 2014 fantasy baseball?
Well, I kinda just told you, but let’s also talk…*cue dramatic prairie dog* Position Scarcity. Position scarcity is a buzzword(s) that fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) like to throw around. It’s the same as someone using ten-dollar words in conversation that they don’t really understand. “I’m drafting Tulo because of position scarcity!” That’s you after listening to an ESPN analcyst. At 2nd base, there’s Cano, and everyone else. Maybe what everyone means by position scarcity is that there’s scarcely anything good at that position. It seems like everyone understands to punt catcher, but middle infielders get people all greedy like Scrooge McDuck. Let’s assume Kipnis gives you my projected stats: 90/19/92/.269/27. Solid stats, for sure. I’m even generous if you were to look at Steamer hitting projections: 87/17/77/.260/24. But to draft Kipnis, you need to skip, say, Joey Votto, so you missed out on 89/26/102/.309/7. Then you grab, Matt Adams later for 69/25/76/.259/1. So you got Kipnis and Adams with 159/44/168/.264/28. Now if you got Joey Votto and Gyorko (who is 40 picks after Adams at ESPN!), you would’ve had 157/53/176/.285/9. That’s essentially the same thing. More power and average with Gyorko/Votto, more steals with Kipnis. Due to SAGNOF, I’d go as far to say Votto and Gyorko is actually better on a strictly stats basis, but I’m not even as concerned about that. Who would you feel more confident about owning on your team? Votto and Gyorko or Kipnis and Matt Adams? Is this even close? Wanna go even further? About a hundred and fifty picks after Gyorko on ESPN, you can draft Brad Miller and get a combined 158/40/164/.291/20 with Votto. That’s the same as Kipnis and Adams! Can you go one hundred and fifty picks after Votto and get a first baseman that is similar? I’m just asking, a friend wants to know. Okay, I guess you can, if you trust Mark Teixeira or Justin Smoak. So, when someone says position scarcity, say, “I never heard of it, is it Near Capacity?”