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Maybe you’re with me, maybe you’re against me on this one, but the MLB All-Star game is an idea that should be buried alongside B.J. Upton, New Coke, Bic Disposable Underwear, and the XFL. He hate me because I hate the All-Star game. Home field in the World Series, whether it comes down to the Tigers and Cardinals or the Red Sox and the Braves, should not be determined by a matchup between Steve Delabar and Marco Scutaro. Also, it’s fans like this voting guys in, so the teams are not really the “best of the best” to begin with. Yet they are allowed to affect actual teams in real games?  Only Bob Costas loves to hear, “Ladies and gentlemen, warming up in the American League bullpen, Brett Cecil!” I look forward to the day when my son tugs on my shirtsleeve and says, “Daddy, tell me the story again how Jason Castro popped up to second in the All-Star game.” And I will turn to him and say, “I have a son? Did your mother work at Applebee’s in 2008?” It’s time we just bury Bud Selig and his “it counts” t-shirt alongside Chris Berman and his Hair in a Can. The All-Star game doesn’t count, it sucks. Bud and Boomer, the people don’t care. Television ratings for the game have been down every year and last year’s game had the worst ever with a 6.8 rating. Know what pulls in those kind of numbers? Sharknado. There must be a way to work that into the Razzball glossary. Erasmo Ramirez sharknado’d my ERA this week!” Not sure, but that phrase may have already jumped the… *now back to our regularly scheduled rant* The first televised All-Star game in 1967 pulled in a 25.6 rating. Keep in mind that in 1967 there was one nationally televised baseball game a week, smoking was good for you and a kid’s favorite toy was Hasbro’s Stick with a Nail in it. Times, they are changin’. Sing it Zimmy.

The only thing interesting to ever occur during an All-Star game was when Pete Rose did this in 1970. Pete had to do it, he had $50 riding on the National League.

Pete Rose trucks Ray Fosse

However, in honor (or is it horror) of the Midsummer Classic and the imminent fantasy baseball DT’s, let’s jam or cram the starting nine in this week’s currently under-owned waiver wire All-Stars. Somebody get me a Zima. Whaddya mean they don’t make it anymore?! How am I going to wash down this delicious Arch Deluxe?

Jam it or Cram it: Catcher, Wilson Ramos, Washington Nationals

Availability: 90% Yahoo/ESPN

First Half Stats: 21 G, 7 R, 4 HR, 16 RBI, .309 AV

Jam or Cram: It’s been a tough couple of years for Ramos. He survived a kidnapping in Venezuela in 2011, then tore his ACL and missed all but 25 games last year. *note to self: send ex-wife on all-expense paid trip to Caracas as wedding present.* Expectations were high this year until a hamstring injury sent him to the DL. However, Senor Ramos has been hot since coming off the disabled list last Thursday. He hit .375 with a homer and five runs batted in on the week. If you’re a chronic rosterbator at the catching position, Ramos is well worth snagging. He could hit at least 10-12 home runs the rest of the way. Grab him before those machete wielding banditos in the ski masks do! JAM.

Jam it or Cram it:  First base, Luke Scott, Tampa Bay Rays

Availability: 98% Yahoo, 99% ESPN

First Half Stats: 59 G, 24 R, 8 HR, 34 RBI, .270 AV, .820 OPS

Jam or Cram: Sky, our Razzball creeper (not creepy) expert, nailed Scott last week. *tip of the cap, sir* Mr. Scott went all hot schmotato last week hitting .458 with three homers and six RBI. He’s one of those Platoony Tunes and if you pick him up adult roster supervision is required as he won’t face left-handers (.229 career).  Coming out of the break Scott will get the Jays and Red Sox, two teams he’s hitting a combined .220 against. He may find himself on the bench tending to his fantastic Wolverine facial hair for a few of those. The creeping could be kaput. CRAM.

Jam it or Cram it: Second base, Gordon Beckham, Chicago White Sox

Availability: 86% Yahoo, 66% ESPN

First Half Stats: 42 G, 18 R, 2 HR, 12 RBI, .342 AV, .806 OPS

Jam or Cram: I think Grey has mentioned Beckham everyday for the past month. Therefore, I am contractually required to mention him also. And why not, since the beginning of July Gordo has hit .436. Beckham’s worth a grab for average, for those in OPS leagues and anyone struggling at the middle infield position. Beckham did have 16 homers last season, but 12 of those came at U.S. Cellular Field. Watch the home/road splits and not the Banana Splits my friends. Oh no, Gordo suffered a quad contusion Saturday night in Philly. Can we blame the McPoyle’s?  So much for jamming, time for cramming. CRAM.

Jam it or Cram it: Shortstop, Brad Miller, Seattle Mariners

Availability: 96% Yahoo, 98% ESPN

First Half Stats: 14 G, 7 R, 0 HR, 7 RBI, 2 SB, .269 AV, .798 OPS

Jam or Cram: Since being called up at the end of June, Miller has seen plenty of time in the lead off position and has produced. Miller was hitting .350 in the minors before the call up and had double digit homers between Triple-A and Double-A this year. Need some power, some average and a few steals (he had over 20 in the minors last season) from your middle infield position? I sure do, I drafted Danny Espinosa and Josh Rutledge. Apologies on the draft, but thanks for paying attention. Do you believe everything you read? Go pick up Miller. JAM.

Jam it or Cram it: Third base, Lonnie Chisenhall, Cleveland Indians

Availability: 97% Yahoo, 98% ESPN

First Half Stats: 46 G, 14 R, 6 HR, 25 RBI, .241 AV, .680 OPS.

Jam or Cram: Chisenhall has raised his average nearly 30 points in the last two weeks as manager Terry Francona continues to roll him out there against right-handed pitching. He’s hit a couple of home runs and his OPS in his last 10 games is over .900. Not too shabby at a position that has Martin Prado, Todd Frazier and Michael Young all struggling but have over 70% ownership. If you own one of those schmohawks as well, may I interest you in this shiny new Chisenhall?  *putting on used car salesman jacket* Did I mention he hit .390 in the minors this year and comes with that new player smell? Not convinced? I see a .280 average and 10-12 home runs in the second half and I’ll throw in free undercoating. Did I mention he hit a grand slam Saturday and the low, low mileage? I’m not sold either. CRAM.

Jam it or Cram it: Outfield, Eric Young Jr., New York Mets

Availability: 92% Yahoo, 85% ESPN

First Half Stats: 79 G, 37 R, 1 HR, 16 RBI, 15 SB, .262 AV, .689 OPS

Jam or Cram: Since coming to the Mets from Colorado, EYJ has hit .290 with a .368 on-base percentage and seven steals in 22 games. Guess the Rockies couldn’t use that kind of production. If you slept through the Rajai Davis SAGNOF! fun, it’s time to embrace Eric Young Jr. and slow dance to “Time After Time”. BTW, who is Eric Young Sr? Oh, he was once traded to the Dodgers for Pedro Astacio. No wonder I forgot. The junior is no senior and is a must add if you need steals. JAM.

Jam it or Cram: Starting pitcher, Felix Doubront, Boston Red Sox

Availability: 83% Yahoo, 92% ESPN

First Half Stats: 16 GS, 6 W, 3 L, 99IP, 43 ER, 93 K, 3.91 ERA, 1.41 WHIP

Jam or Cram: Hey, it’s another Venezuelan. Let’s get some mondongo! What do you mean you don’t like cow stomach? You just ate the Arch Deluxe I’ve been saving since 1996! In Doubront’s last 10 starts he’s 3-2 with a 2.63 ERA and 45 K’s. This month Prince Felix is 2-0 with a 1.98 ERA. That’s better than Stephen Strasburg,  Max Scherzer and the king of the Felix’s, Felix Hernandez. Not ready to snort what I’m selling yet? Try this, it’s free and an old fantasy dealer trick:

Pitcher A: 80.3 Contact%, 8.4 SwStr%, 2.16 Strikes/Balls, 10.0 BB%, 21.6 K%, 3.92 xFIP

Pitcher B: 82.7 Contact%, 6.9 SwStr%, 2.12 Strikes/Balls, 8.7 BB%, 18.3 K%, 3.87 xFIP

Wow Guru, those are similar numbers. I’ll take pitcher A. Yes, I’m sure you would favorite reader. Except you drafted pitcher B as your ace. That would be Yovani Gallardo. Of course pitcher A is Felix Doubront. You didn’t think I’d use Don Drysdale’s numbers did you? However, just about as many people drafted Drysdale as they did Doubront. Point, set, match, I own you now. JAM.

Jam it or Cram it: Relief pitcher, Antonio Bastardo, Philadelphia Phillies

Availability: 97% Yahoo, 100% ESPN

First Half Stats: 39 G, 2 W, 2 L, 32.1 IP, 10 ER, 34 K, 2.78 ERA, 1.45 WHIP

Jam or Cram: The way my week has been fantasy-wise, I’m tempted to change my name to Gootonio Bastardo, move to Tenerife and leave my leopard print thong to Tehol. Wear it with pride my friend, wear it with pride. It’s saves I need and this Phillie could be the answer. Bastardo has given up one run in July, has a save and four holds. The WHIP’s not great, but neither are the Phillies. As the trade deadline looms, expect Jonathan Papelbon to be sporting a Tiger’s uni soon and then, voilà, Bastardo is our new SAGNOF! friend. If that doesn’t happen perhaps I’ll just move to Bangkok and manage Hitler Chicken.  Achtung, baby! I do believe we have a JAM.

Thanks for the playing along Razzballer’s. Questions, comments, reasons you hate the All-Star game welcomed below. Follow The Guru on Twitter @TheGuruGS for the daily jam or cram, fantasy roster 411’s and other gooey shenanigans.

 

 

From Around The Web

  1. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    wow, that was link-plosion, where do I start, a child pullking on your sleeve’s, you’re a metal head red neck, you have no sleeve’s, when you get cold you put on your jean jacket http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WZV5BJkPloc/UFOrGlQ_LcI/AAAAAAAACtY/n6ZqFhJo_5c/s1600/catspace.png

    the banana splits, heaven’t seen that in a couple of weeks, wow that should say a long time, but they play that clip on the boom network all the time. The good old days when psychadelics got into the mainstream, when does that go retro again? nothing like NBC on LSD

    I love used car salesmen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOZKuVcC2EU

    speaking of great car movie trailers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QNDycDirxA

    I think I caught the link bug from you

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ha! Thanks for reading. It’s a link-o-palooza!

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @The Guru: oh, was there baseball in there too?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Sure, it was a jam or cram ’round the horn.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @The Guru: I was very distrcted, I like how you used Link a palooza, funny when words come into the fold that came from something else, do they still do Lolapalooza?

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Yeah, it’s a 3 day thing in Chicago. One of the craziest shows I saw was Ministry at Lollapalooza somewhere in the 90’s and fans ripped down the fence and lit it on fire before pelting the stage with sod. I had a ‘Nam flashback.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @The Guru: the only time I went was 93 and it was pretty close to my house. what a line up, Rage, Tool, and Alice n Chains there were other acts between tool and alice, but I don’t recall being conscious for that

                • The Guru

                  The Guru says:
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                  I liked the first year lineup with Jane’s Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, Fishbone, Ice T & Body Count, Butthole Surfers, Rollins Band. Pretty sure I took a boot to the face in that one.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @The Guru: yeah, Fishbone played at the one I went too, you could say I was on the come down during that time.

    • Michael Sean says:
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      Guru (japanese respectful bow), Would you trade Pedroia and J Upton for Cutch and Daniel Murphy? Its a 6 person keeper league and I need to raise my teams batting avg.

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Cutch is great but that’s a lot to give up. I wouldn’t do it.

        • Michael Sean says:
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          Much thanks.

  2. Justin says:
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    Hey guru,

    With the all star break starting tomorrow & games not resuming til Friday, when would the pitching starts / two starts be announced?

    Thanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Good question, Justin. Teams are just starting to announce their rotations coming out of the break, so I’d anticipate becoming clearer within the next few days. Also, that would be a good question for Scott Evans who does the two-start stuff here.

  3. ReleasetheMcKracken says:
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    Jam or cram these trades:

    Starlin Castro and Gyorko or Anthony Rendon for Felix Hernandez or Scherzer or Tulo.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d jam any of those trades, especially if you need pitching. Try the trade that helps you in your weakest area.

      • ReleasetheMcKracken says:
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        @The Guru: much obliged

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          No prob. Good luck on the rest of the season.

  4. No mas pantalones says:
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    Doubront or lynn

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      The All-Star break is coming at a good time for Lynn, looks like he needs a breather. While, I do like Doubront a lot, Lynn is the better pitcher ROS.

  5. Darcy says:
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    I think the only thing that has kept me interested in my fantasy baseball team is the amusing research I must do on Razzball. Thanks Goo. Now, do you think Bastardo will be given the closer’s job for the Phillies?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks, Darcy. It looks like Papelbon will be traded by the deadline and that should open the door for Bastardo. I’ve stashed him on teams where I need saves.

  6. Win1forthe says:
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    Loved the article….

    Touched on two guys that I am interested in adding. 7 weeks left in the season and looking to put some finishing touches on the roster.

    I have Andrew Bailey taking up a roster spot (I have Uehera) and waiting on Alex Cobb.

    Would you drop those two guys for any of the following: Doubront, Jacob Turner or EY Jr.

    thanks.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks, Win. Depends on what your needs are going forward. I expect Bailey to get the closers job back at some point, but Koji has been good. My expectations on Cobb are low right now, I’d rather have Doubront. EYJ has been playing well and worth a pick up if you need runs, steals, a homer now and then.

  7. JoeG414 says:
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    Ruf,Lough,Moss,Hicks. Please rank them as Jam or Cram. Thanks. Deep daily mixed roto.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Moss is the only one I’d grab if desperate. The rest are pretty much the same…bleah.

  8. griff says:
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    In dynasty roto, I have Sabathia and Kris Medlen, who have been stinking up the joint lately. Josh Johnson is on the waiver wire. Thinking long term, is it a good move to drop either of them for Johnson?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I want no part of Johnson. Hold for now. If you’re out of it you might be able to trade C.C. for the future.

  9. The Strolg says:
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    As a ‘lifelong’ Cub fan, I remember as a kid trying to stay up to watch our one player, Bruce Sutter, pitch in the All Star game. I think I’d either fall asleep or they wouldn’t play him in case the game went into extra innings. God never missed a chance to make us suffer. Long Live Fake Baseball!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ha! I know the feeling. I’d stay awake to try to catch a Red Sox player like Remy I think. I understand the pain.

  10. JoeBoo says:
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    Jam or cram this trade:
    12 team mixed yearly, OPS instead of AVG, I’m out front in hitting, middle of the pack in pitching:

    His Price, Minor, and Marte for
    my Bautista, Zobrist, and Shelby

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Bautista is a lot to give up. But if you have a solid lead hitting wise, I could see making the deal for pitching.

  11. mike says:
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    I received two offers today to receive Chris Davis! Which one should I take….tulowitzski and marte for chris Davis and Rollins OR segura and marte and willin Rosario for Chris Davis Rollins and piersynski

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d trade Tulo and his Kit-Kat bones.

      • mike says:
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        @The Guru: I see u like to trade tulo but would u do both offers even tho u prefer the tulo trade?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          I don’t like the second trade at all. You would be basically giving up 3 good starters for one player. Doesn’t work for me.

  12. bossmanjunior says:
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    Much like Bastardo, do you think Blake Parker is in the same boat? I was thinking of stashing both in my RCL league in which I need saves.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      If and when the Cubs trade Gregg you’ll be sitting pretty with Parker. Nice stash of the SAGNOF!

  13. Mike says:
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    I need pitching and steals help…

    I get: segura, lee, Leonys and mujica

    Give up: Stanton, wright, reed and coco

    Should I do it?

    Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Prepared to possibly give up 20+ homers with Stanton? Just seems too rich for my tastes. I’d stream and grab some guys about to get saves like Bastardo, Parker.

      • Kawasaki MVP! says:
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        Thanks! What about pence and bumgarner for Stanton? Same?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          For Stanton I’d want 3 top players. He was a top 10 pick.

  14. chunk says:
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    archer or erasmo?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Erasmo looked shaky in his first start and Archer has been inconsistent. Probably leaning Archer here.

  15. shibboleth says:
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    That feeling when you pick someone off waivers (Ramos) and find him Jammed in the next day’s Razzball reading… i don’t get that enough lol.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Enjoy those funny feelings, my friend! Thanks for reading.

  16. Brooks Jacoby says:
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    I have Rollins, Andrus and Brad Miller and need to drop one for some roster flexibility. Am I crazy for wanting to drop Andrus first, considering I need HR,2b, and avg. a lot more than I need stolen bases and runs? I can just picture Brad Miller hitting .280-.300 ish cranking out doubles.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Tough call Brooks. I’d look to trade Rollins or Andrus and see what you can get. You should be able to flip them for something useful.

  17. Jail says:
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    franklin or miller at 2B?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d take Franklin here ROS.

  18. Riley says:
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    Love you column. Was offered Garza and Rendon for Heyward and Smyly. Don’t have interest in that but what do you think about Heyward and Smyly for Garza and either Eric Young or Austin Jackson? 5×5 Rotisserie OBP league, annual draft (so only care about rest of season). Need pitching across the board and weak in HR and SB.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks for reading. I like the trade getting Jackson and Garza. If you can make it happen do it.

  19. Joey belle says:
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    Can you rank Ramos, doumit and russel Martin, please?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I usually rotate whoever the hot catcher is in and out of my lineup. I’ve had Ramos since he came off the DL. If I have to rank ROS, it’s pretty even but I’d go Doumit, Ramos, Martin.

  20. Bryan says:
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    Would you give Cespedes to get Asdrubal Cabrera and McClouth?

    Rostered SS’s Jeter and Franklin

    Remaining OFs rostered
    Bruce
    Harper
    Puig
    Eaton

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I wouldn’t make that trade. FRanklin should work or you could just stream the hot SS.

  21. 2 Cups 1 Braun says:
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    GURU : 10 team OBP league. McClouth was my only source for steals but seems to have lost his legs. Do I lose him for Raul Ibanez or hold tight?

    Other OF are : AJax, Bautista, Hamilton, and Beltran with Frazier filling in?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ibanez has been a surprise, but I’d hold for now.

  22. Bryan says:
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    One more…

    Would you give Cespedes to gamble on Braun?

    Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That would be a gamble. Besides the steroid stuff, I’m not sure Braun is 100%. Stay away. If you want to try for Braun offer something real low and go from there. I’ve seen owners panicking and getting what they can for Braun.

  23. 2 Cups 1 Braun says:
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    One more….QS league…drop Bell for Ziegler or Stults?

    Current closers are Rivera, Parkins and Parnell albeit I like to usually carry 4 in our 24 person roster

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ziegler’s been looking good if you need a reliever. I’d grab him.

      • 2 Cups 1 Braun says:
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        @The Guru: you think he sticks post trade deadline?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Why not? He’s getting it done.

  24. Tehol Beddict says:
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    If anyone heard me on podcast a month ago I told everyone Beckham was going to rake.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Good call, Tehol. Too bad about the injury though.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @The Guru: yea its devastating that he missed one game

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          I lit a candle for him.

  25. MB says:
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    I am torn. Do I get A Gordon or A Gone in dynasty? giving up addison russell

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Go with A-gon. Win now and plan later.

  26. SF says:
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    Could use The Guru’s advice. I’ve got Gattis and Peavy coming off the DL and I need to clear two spots. I’ve got multiple players at these positions.

    I’ve been starting Freeman at first and I just picked up Matt Adams who i’m sticking in the utility spot while Holiday is out. But i’ve also got Laroche.

    My outfield is A. Jackson, Beltran, Coco, and Ryan Braun. I also have two 3rd baseman Sandoval and Arenado.

    My SP’s are Wainwright, Shelby Miller, Lynn, Wheeler, Fister, and King Felix

    Should I hold onto Gattis who I can plug into Catcher or outfield? Drop Laroche or Adams?
    On a side note my team is seriously lacking in HR power and OPS so i am trying to take that into consideration. Any help would be great.

    League is 12 team H2H with 4 keepers (2 bats/2 pitcher)

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Looks like Gattis will get playing time with ATL outfield injuries. Drop Laroche, Arenado seems expendable if you like Adams.

      • SF says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks.

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          No prob. Good luck the rest of the season.

  27. Birdog says:
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    Great article. Gotta watch that Sharknado movie.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks Birdog, you’ll never be the same. Ha!

  28. G says:
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    Was able to get starlin on the cheap and when I lost tulo. Now that tulo is back who should I look to trade betw the two?. I have someone offering me Giancarlo for carpenter and nova and that would push one of starlin/tulo out of utility spot they occupy. I wanna pull trigger on Giancarlo trade but also wanna trade one of these SS so in not benching a starter on the regular. Thoughts on trading tulo for kinsler?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That could work, but you might be able to do better. Maybe Pedroia if its a 2B you want.

      • G says:
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        I posted above so thanks for response. Was just counter offered Giancarlo for tulo. I have starlin at SS and was using tulo as utility. So it’s basically giancarlo taking utility spot now. I know u dont like tulo and his kit kat bones but he has had a great year while healthy. Pull the trigger?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Pull that trigger, G! Nice trade.

  29. k-dizzle says:
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    Who do you like ROS; Beachy, AJ Griffin, Kluber, Cobb? I likely have to drop two, as Beachy/Cobb are coming off DL eventually. Keep in mind it’s a Keeper league, Beachy being the most expensive of the bunch to keep.
    Beachy showed great stuff last year, but it’s a tough call to what impact he can have.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Tough call. Like what I’m seeing from Kluber and Griffin is good start when he’s at home. I’m not expecting much from Beachy or Cobb the rest of this year.

  30. TheHighlander says:
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    i have these 3 pitchers in waiting, might have to drop one- Carlos Martinez, Erasmo Ramirez and Pineda. which one should I drop?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Martinez

  31. baseballss says:
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    got a possible trade.. i trade scutaro and mclouth for heyward and tulo. good trade? it seems a little lopsided to me, in my favor

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Hit accept now!

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @The Guru: @The Guru: this trade sounds like collusion or trade rape. Get it done quick. Scutaro and McLousy together don’t equal Tulo.

Comments are closed.