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Welcome into the Razzball Lounge, fantasy freaks. Here in the lounge we celebrated Razzball scribes like to kick back, relax, sketch Grey’s mustache, debate Yasiel Puig and lament our fantasy baseball failures over a couple of scotch and sodas as we prepare for some football drafting here. What do you mean it’s too early for scotch? It’s 11 in the morning, Guru. Well, get me a Pop-Tart with it. On this lazy Sunday in the lounge we find Sky in a dark corner trying to decide where to rank Bilal Powell, “Isn’t baseball season over yet? How many games do they play, like a 100?” Dropping his quarters into the jukebox is our resident bear or bull, JayWrong, “You guys should really pick up Jhoulys Chacin. Mind if I play Elvis Costello again?” *bottle smashes above head* Bellying up to the bar is our Podcast host and resident Canadian arguing with the bartender, “Whaddya mean you don’t have Labatts? How am I gonna wash down this pickled egg, eh?” Meanwhile, in the ladies room we find the one and only Tehol mid fondle with a handsome honey he’ll soon discover has an Adam’s apple, “Uh, guys? GUUYYSS?!” And here at the pool table is your humble and almost as manly Guru preparing a list of ballers that are going to deliver you a fantasy baseball championship. *closes eye, takes aim, sinks eight ball in corner pocket, downs scotch* What are we doing here again? Oh yeah, it’s time to jam it or cram it.

 

Jam or Cram: Will Middlebrooks, 3B, Boston Red Sox

Availability: 63% Yahoo, 62% ESPN

Last Week: 3 R, 2 HR, 5 RBI, .412 AV

The Gist: If you follow me on Twitter you have witnessed my many Middlebrooks rants and pleas for Xander Bogaerts. All the begging for the X-man is not going to work as long as Middlebrooks keep hitting like this. Since being recalled two weeks ago, Will I. Can is hitting .405. He has been bumped up in the order and gets the Orioles and the White Sox this week. Meanwhile, Xander sits on the bench and jabs pins into his Stephen Drew voodoo doll.

Key Stat: Since the recall, Middlebrooks is swinging at 19% of pitches outside the strike zone. Before he was sent down he was taking a hack at 28%. You’d learn patience too if you had to spend two months in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.

X-File: While Middlebrooks did make his major league debut at second base last week, don’t expect it to be a regular occurrence unless Xander’s doll was actually Dustin Pedroia.

Jam it or Cram it: I can man up and admit when I’m wrong. I’ve been wrong to dump on Middlebrooks so often. He’s really been great. Middlebrooks is the best thing since Mike Schmidt. Sarcasm is fun. But there’s no denying Will is going all hot schmotato. Need power, need a third baseman? Go all Little Feat and get Will in. JAM

 

Jam it or Cram it: Donnie Murphy, 2B/3B, Chicago Cubs

Availability: 78% Yahoo, 84% ESPN

Last Week: 6 R, 4 HR, 6 RBI, .286 AV

The Gist: This is Donnie’s second appearance here in the Razzball Lounge. Since that time, he’s hit five more home runs. Five players have hit eight homers in August. Miguel Cabrera, Chris Davis, Justin Upton and Alfonso Soriano are four of them. Quick, guess the fifth guy. No, it wasn’t Andre Dawson. Wise ass. It was Donnie Murphy. Which is a good thing because this blurb is about Donnie Murphy.

Key Stat: Murphy’s average over his career is .217.

X-File: Murphy’s average over his last 60 AB’s is .328.

Jam it or Cram it: What in the name of Bizarro World is going on here? Donnie Murphy, a guy that barely hits above the Mendoza line, suddenly turns into Dale Murphy and slashes .311/.382/.770. His career high in home runs is just six and he has hit eight in four weeks. Did he make a road trip to a Miami clinic? I’m not buying any of this silliness. Murph gets Clayton Kershaw and Zack Greinke this week. The fun is done. CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: Nate Schierholtz, OF, Chicago Cubs

Availability: 61% Yahoo, 33% ESPN

Last Week: 5 R, 3 HR, 9 RBI, .323 AV

The Gist: Here’s where the difference in ownership between the two leagues makes no sense. I can’t explain it, but I play in the Y! league and that means Schierholtz is there for the taking. I’ll take a guy with more homers and RBI than Joey Votto and Giancarlo Stanton.

Key Stat:
Schierholtz is hitting .292 with five home runs and 15 RBI in August.

X-File: He’s also struck out 21 times in 65 appearances.

Jam it or Cram it: With 19 homers and 61 RBI Schierholtz is having a very solid year. If you lost Jason Heyward this week and Schierholtz is on your waiver wire why are you reading this? Get him now! I’ll wait. *lights smoke, sends menacing tweet to Will Middlebrooks* Did you add him? Nice work. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Brandon Moss, 1B/OF, Oakland A’s

Availability: 62% Yahoo, 48% ESPN

Last Week: 3 R, 3 HR, 4 RBI, .333 AV

The Gist: Moss is a Platoony Tunes and won’t face lefties, but this week he gets all righties and me likey. Moss’ power is for real, but he’ll drain your average with all the K’s. Moss has struck out 109 times in 115 games.

Key Stat: Moss is hitting .292 with 5 home runs since the All-Star Break and is up to 20 knocks on the year.

X-File: Sit him against lefties. His average against is .227.

Jam it or Cram it: Despite facing Justin Verlander and Max Scherzer this week,  Moss could provide some power numbers. Or he could go strike out 426 times. I really lack any enthusiasm for Moss. He’s like trying to embrace a cactus.  CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: Matt Dominguez, 3B, Houston Astros

Availability: 87% Yahoo, 91% ESPN

Last Week: 7 R, 3 HR, 6 RBI, .364 AV

The Gist: Matty D has very quietly hit 18 home runs this year with 63 RBI. Ok, ok, the .237 average is Ike Davis kind of ugly, but we are not talking long term relationship here. We’re talking a cheap meaningless week or two until we both lose interest. But right now, I’m real interested. I’m a homer whore with no pride and daddy issues.

Key Stat: Dominguez has been hitting a home run every 5 AB’s for over a week now.

X-File: The OBP is just .274. You’re not picking him up for OBP.

Jam it or Cram it: Why no love for a third baseman on pace for 25 homers and 80 RBI? Does Brett Lawrie really mean that much to you? You’re still holding out hope for David Wright? Why do you own Kevin Youkilis? So many questions. Dominguez is the answer. Add him and buy me a drink in the lounge. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Khris Davis, OF, Milwaukee Brewers

Availability: 83% Yahoo, 65% ESPN

Last Week: 7 R, 3 HR, 7 RBI, .500 AV

The Gist: Chris Davis’ evil twin Kris Davis would have a shot at rookie of the year were it not for Puig and Jose Fernandez. Davis is hitting .386 since the All-Star break, which is good for third-best in the majors over that span.

Key Stat: Davis’ 1.314 OPS in the second half is 200 points higher than Miguel Cabrera’s.

X-File: In a weird sort of reverse Platoony Tune, the right-handed Davis has been crushing right-handers at a .367 clip.

Jam it or Cram it: Braun’s replacement is out putting up juicy numbers since taking over. If you have been struggling to find a bat since  Heyward broke his face and Jose Bautista ran into a wall, grab the evil Khris Davis. He’ll be hot schmotatoing until MLB discovers his secret stash of Ryan Braun Sucrets.  JAM

 

Thanks for hanging in the Razzball Lounge. The Goo is available for all your jammer crammer questions. Follow The Guru on Twitter @TheGuruGS for the daily jam or cram, fantasy roster 411’s and other gooey shenanigans.

 

  1. Jack Full O' Hate says:
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    If we got 18 homeruns and a .237 from Ike Davis we would be talking up how he was NOW a season away from putting it all together and that the power was still better than a lot of other CI’s. I called Matty D to Grey in the preseason, a former 1st rounder out of high school that played very well last year before going down with an injury. BOOYA!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Nice call on that one, Sir Hate.

      • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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        @The Guru: you can call me Don Odio

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          How are your teams doing? Still fighting?

          • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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            @The Guru: in the RCL’s I have one in 5th, after being in last in June. I have one in first with a 20 point lead, and one in 2nd with lots of bad timing problems.

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Nice work.

              I’m studying up my IDP’s as we speak . HA.

              • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                @The Guru: one thing to keep in the back of your mind. Jack’s IDP philosophy. Make sure you have two good LB’s after the draft. A big part of a defensive players worth is based on opportunity, an offensive team who has a low time of possession has a defense on the field a lot. EVERY YEAR, tons of guys emerge as fantasy relevant from the DB category that can be found in the free agent pool. The DB’s that are usually solid year after year are safties. Outside of the top three DL’s, the rest are blah.

                • The Guru

                  The Guru says:
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                  Good stuff, Jack.

                  Back to baseball, you watch Sox/Dodgers yesterday?

                  • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                    @The Guru: nah, I was watching the Little Leaguers

                    • The Guru

                      The Guru says:
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                      I’ve some of that, too. Do you coach?

                  • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                    @The Guru: nah,i only have the one daughter and she hasn’t started playing yet, this coming spring will be her first. I would like to. i coached Pony ball when I got out of high school, pitching coach, but never anything more than that.

  2. Momuirnin says:
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    I’m glad you’ve had to stop calling Middlebrooks “Middlesucks.” He has a mother you know. Though I think the mocking must have helped. Hmmm … who should you start mocking next? I applauded Xander’s first hit in the Majors yesterday! You must be proud.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I sent Will a fruit basket. He’s worth picking up in fantasy land.

      Kind of disappointed Xander’s not getting playing time. He’ll be the SS next year. Or I could plot the demise of Stephen Drew.

      • Momuirnin says:
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        @The Guru: I thought you already had!

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Me? Never. I’m all about the love.

          • Momuirnin says:
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            @The Guru: @The Guru: this is funny coming from a man whose list of pastimes starts with “plotting revenge against my enemies.” Giggle

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Hmmm…that reminds me.

              • Momuirnin says:
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                @The Guru: well, make it good! I don’t wanna walk away wounded. : )

  3. FillyP says:
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    I’ve only got two moves left on the season, and the playoffs are two weeks away.

    Who do you like better ROS? K. Davis, Crisp, Ruf, Headley, Swisher, Bonifacio..

    My team is light on speed/avg/obp. Fucking Moss is draining me at the UTIL.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Crisp is probably the safest play and his team is playing for something.

  4. Jay

    jaywrong says:
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    Green Shirt is a personal fav of mine. Good call.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Better cut off all identifying labels before they put you on the torture table.

  5. Chris says:
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    Getting ready to enter my playoffs. Dan haren is on waivers. Should I drop either Sonny Gray or Jon Niese or should I stay with what i have. 10 team H2H points league.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d take Haren over Niese.

  6. Playoff Bound says:
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    The last waiver claim of the year in my 16 team head to head points league is tonight. No waiver claims are allowed during the six team playoffs that starts next week. I have a bye in the first round, then a one week game and if successful a two week championship game. I am trying to pick the best mix of starting pitchers to help me win the championship.

    We start six each week, plus up to 3 RP eligible starters. I have four solid starters. (I also have Kyle Kendrick and Rienzo as options at RP who don’t count as SPs on my roster). Behind them, I’m not sure if I should try and drop anyone on my team for a few options on the waiver wire. I have Scott Feldman, Dan Straily, Erasmo Ramirez and Randall Delgado. I’m eyeing Carlos Martinez and Jake Arrieta on waivers (and to a lesser extent Ethan Martin). Should I want any of those guys on waivers, and if so, who do I drop? Thanks.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Straily and Erasmo might help, so I’d keep them. Looks like your waiver wire is pretty thin. If you’re in first with a bye it might be best to just hold. Good luck.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @The Guru: roark, who may start at some point late in season.

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @goodfold2: also look into morton last 4 starts, and even better his ROS schedule. i grabbed him in my 16 teamer, but in that one he’s my 10 SP. 26 man roster league.

  7. Jack Full O' Hate says:
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    How was your first IDP draft?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That was a fun and interesting draft. I’m happy with my offense, defense…i dunno. Check my team and give me the autopsy.

      • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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        @The Guru: your D is solid, if Dansby is your 4th backer then you are good, and you already know you are….no scotch needed

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Cool, its a league I’ll definately pay attention to.

          • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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            @The Guru: I look forward to enlightening the Guru this year in the greatness of IDP.

          • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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            @The Guru: what do you think of my offense?

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              If Vick and MJD stay healthy you will be a force. Richardson will be a beast and the TY Hilton at WR3 is a pick i lost to you on.

              • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                @The Guru: what do you think of my rookie WR’s on my bench and the Wilson pick?

                • The Guru

                  The Guru says:
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                  Wilson will give you good value and while the rookies are a gamble there’s upside for sure. Thompkins is another guy I was targeting and lost out on.

  8. Bob says:
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    Is Jason Heyward droppable now? With fantasy baseball season winding down; this next matchup will be the last of reg. season then playoffs after that

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Yes, he had surgery and is done for the year.

  9. Bubba says:
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    I’m in the semi-finals of the playoffs…lost Bautista in my OF…

    So could you place the following players on our waiver wire in order of who you would use to replace Bautista….

    Dunn (I can stick him at the CI slot and move Craig to OF – Dunn is hitting .300+ the past month),..Venable (very hot over the past month and I need more of a shot at SBs as well)…Jay (hot lately but platooning???…I don’t get that)…or Schierholtz (Mr. Steady Eddy)??

    Thanks!!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d grab Venable and have in leagues I owned Heyward. He’ll be solid.

  10. bossmanjunior says:
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    Are any of these pitchers worth ROS consideration or should just be considered streamers: Halladay, Estrada, Salazar, Vogelsong, Gallardo, Perez

    Most droppable pitcher is Garza. Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Yeah, kind of streamer guys. I’d stick with Garza.

      • bossmanjunior says:
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        @The Guru:

        Thank you, sir. Do you know if Salazar has any inning cap? After this week he has a really nice ROS schedule. However with Kluber coming back early next month, who knows if he might get bumbed.

        Garza has been crap lately against some bad teams but also has a favorable schedule. Estrada was the other primary guy I have been keeping an eye on.

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Francona said last week he doesn’t expect to limit Salazars innings. Estarda is one too keep an eye on for sure.

  11. Jiggy Nits says:
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    Tyler Lyons JAM or CRAM

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      cram

  12. Dave says:
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    Long story short, lost bautista, added schierholtz, lost him. Guy added Khris Davis 30 min ago. Venable, Jon Jay, Ruf or Dominguez? Have only 2 more adds ROS. 6×6 with ops.

    Thank you

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Venable is worth a grab

  13. Jake the snake says:
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    Need to pick 1 pitcher- Alex wood or Zach wheeler

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Wheeler

  14. Homer says:
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    @theguru

    Tempted to start bogaert over asdrubal.
    Xander has home debut all week, looks good and faces
    Three lefties. Plus Cabrera sucks.
    Agree? Need to win… playoffs and all.

    Thanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Its Xander time!

  15. Homer says:
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    @everybody
    I’m listening to anyone who has an opinion on this. I lean toward xander.
    Deadline in t-minus 14 minutes

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