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So, how’s your season? *connects hose to tailpipe* That good, huh? Well, the end is near my depressed Razzballin’ droogs. Some of us are prepared for the sprint to the finish and others are drinking too much Colt 45, screaming “Ike Davis” at confused strangers and assembling Fantasy Football draft boards in their tighty whities and Ken Stabler throwbacks. Speaking of which, everyone say hello to Sky. He’s our Fantasy Football Czar and would like to meet your acquaintance here. If you’ve enjoyed our weekly jammer crammer sessions, once we wrap up this here baseball season in a pretty little bow, your humble Guru will continue jamming and cramming on Fantasy Football Island. So join a RCL League now. As for our fake baseball teams, how did you do? Taking a look at The Guru’s collection of teams, I’d have to say it’s been a satisfying season. Currently I’m staring at 10 firsts, 5 seconds and a third. 16 teams? Yes, I admit I do have a problem with moderation. Excuse me while I pour another scotch. Good morning. The areas that have been problematic for me this year have been steals and saves. SAGNOF! Injuries to Jason Motte and Joel Hanrahan certainly didn’t help and had me scrambling to the waiver wire early and often for the likes of Koji Uehara and Rex Brothers. When it comes to steals, the early injury to Jose Reyes and now the suspension of Everth Cabrera put me in the SAGNOF hole. Ouch! Stay away from my SAGNOF hole, it’s an exit not an entrance.  As we enter the final three weeks of the regular season, here’s hoping your season has been a success and all the credit can be heaped upon your motley crew of Razzballin’ scribes. If you are out of it, damn the fantasy gods, troll Tehol on Twitter and let me pour you a tumbler of Islay. Enjoy and leave a comment below on the state of your season. It’s time to jam it or cram it – SAGNOF! Part II: Red, White and Screwed.

 

Jam or Cram: Tommy Hunter, SP/RP, Baltimore Orioles

Availability: 91% Yahoo, 99% ESPN

Last Week’s SAGNOF: 1 Save, 5 K’s, 3.18 ERA, 0.71 WHIP

The Gist: With O’s closer Jim Johnson blowing three saves in a week and Francisco Rodriguez going down with an injury, manager Buck Showalter will turn his crazy eyes toward Tommy Hunter. Hunter has been steady in the ‘pen with three saves and 16 holds on the year.

Key Stat: In 48 appearances Hunter has 47 K’s, a 2.76 ERA and a 0.93 WHIP.

X-File: The long ball was a problem for Hunter last season, but not so much this year. Hunter’s HR/9 is 0.96.

Jam it or Cram it: My confidence level in Johnson holding onto his job is about as low as A-Rod’s chances of being invited to Seder at Ryan Braun’s house. Johnson has blown nine of 48 chances on the year and looks spent. If you’re chasing SAGNOF down the stretch, grab Hunter. Go ahead, check Angie’s list, she loves him too for all your save and drywall needs.  JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Chia-Jen Lo, RP, Houston Astros

Availability: 93% Yahoo, 91% ESPN

Last Week’s SAGNOF: 1 Save, 2 K’s, 0.00 ERA, 1.00 WHIP

The Gist: Who is Chia-Jen Lo and why am I considering picking him up? I really had no idea until 3 days ago. I did have a Chia J-Lo once and watching that alfalfa grow each day sure made me tingly. This Jenny from the Pingtung block is the new ‘Stros closer and has looked as good as anything else Houston has to offer. That is until Bo Porter decides that ball girl has a pretty good arm.

Key Stat: Lefties are hitting .091 against Jen Lo and he’s yet to allow a run this season.

X-File: Okay, here’s the rub: The Chia has only thrown 6.1 more innings in his MLB career than you have. What, you pitched a third of an inning for the Seattle Pilots back in 1969? Ok, six more innings than you.

Jam it or Cram it: How many saves can we actually expect from the Chia Lo the rest of the year? Well dear Razzballer’s, that would require the ‘Stros actually having a lead. Maybe he gets two, three. I’ll take it! I’m a desperate Sagnoffer! JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Gonzalez Germen, RP, New York Mets

Availability: 100% Yahoo, 100% ESPN

Last Week’s SAGNOF: 1 Save, 6 K’s, 0.00 ERA, 1.00 WHIP

The Gist: With Bobby Parnell out and 76-year-old LaTroy Hawkins hurting, up steps the Germen. Fraulein, ein Beir bitte. That’s the extent of my German language skills. Those credits finally paid off, Dad. Germen is in the SAGNOF circle of skepticism, but may vulture a few saves over the next few weeks.

Key Stat: Germen has a 2.60 ERA and 18/10 K/BB ratio over 17 1/3 innings this season.

X-File: *Warning: Here comes an old fantasy writer trick called,”throw numbers at wall.” Germen’s K/9 is 9.35, his FIP is 2.85, but his BB/9 stands at 5.19. Anything stick?

Jam it or Cram it:  I just don’t see Germen becoming the nummer eins save option for the Mets with Hawkins coming back and David Aardsma hanging around. Now let’s listen to some Rammstein. Du Hast! CRAM. What do you mean Germen is not from Deutschland? Don’t be a Scheisskopf, you’re messin’ with my blurb man.

 

Jam or Cram: Gerardo Parra, OF, Arizona Diamondbacks

Availability: 70% Yahoo, 60% ESPN

Last Week’s SAGNOF: 2 Steals, 5 R, 1 HR, 2 RBI, .348 AV

The Gist: Way back on April 7, in our very first jammer crammer session, I made a case for grabbing Rico Suave. I also mentioned Jackie Bradley Jr. as a possible rookie of the year candidate. Damn those bath salts are some crazy shiz. Since that time, I’ve sworn off the salts, JBJ is marinating in the minors and Gerardo has put together an average season. *sigh* But when Parra gets to hot schmotatoing he’s worth a pick up. He’s doing that now.

Key Stat: Parra is batting .306 with a .528 slugging percentage, .852 OPS, a triple, a homer, two RBI, three doubles, six runs and two stolen bases in his last 10 games.

X-File: Parra’s home run last week was his first since June.

Jam it or Cram it: Grey tossed Parra into his “buy” pile on Friday because, like a nice mustache wax, the Grey-one knows a good thing when he sees it. Will Parra lead you to the SAGNOF promised land? Probably not, but he’ll give you some tasty stats in the meantime. You don’t want to go to the SAGNOF promised land anyway, it’s in Pennsylvania and Matt Damon is about to frack the hell out of that place. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Jarrod Dyson, OF, Kansas City Royals

Availability: 99% Yahoo, 98% ESPN

Last Week’s SAGNOF: 3 Steals, 2 R, 2 RBI, .176 AV

The Gist: Rajai Davis is probably long gone in your league, but if you’re searching for steals Jarrod Dyson could be your man. Jarrod has 19 steals on the year, stole three bags this week and is virtually unowned. Our Razzball expert in base thievery, Mike Buttil, mentioned Dyson a few weeks back and he’s stolen 10 bags since; two less than league leader Jacoby Ellsbury.

Key Stat: Last year, Dyson stole 30 bases in 330 plate appearances. That’s a steal every 11 plate appearances. This season he’s swiping one every 6.63 AB’s. Thanks abacus. That’s SAGNOF gold, Jerry! Gold!

X-File: With starting center fielder Lorenzo Cain on the DL, Dyson is getting regular playing time.

Jam it or Cram it: More starts, a hot Royals team and the ability to swipe 10 bases or more the rest of the way means SAGNOF lovers should go to Jarrod. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Chris Getz, 2B, Kansas City Royals

Availability: 99% Yahoo, 99% ESPN

Last Week’s SAGNOF: 3 Steals, 3 R, 1 RBI, .357 AV

The Gist: We are really scraping the bottom of the waiver wire barrel this week, but I need to Getz me some SAGNOF! Getz is just two years removed from a 20-steal season.

Key Stat: Getz has just two multi-hit games on the season.

X-File: The Royals just picked up Emilio Bonifacio and that’s not good for Getz.

Jam it or Cram it: I really think the only reason Getz made it into the jammer crammer pile this week is because I noticed his walk-up song last week when the Tigers were losing to the Royals. I thought I was having an 80’s flashback. Getz’s walk-up song is the theme to the Nintendo classic R.B.I. Baseball.  That game is about all I remember from 1987. Chris Getz you are no R.B.I Baseball Vince Coleman. CRAM

 

*Bonus Tracks*  SAGNOF Powers Activate:

Jonathan Villar, SS, HOU: Villar has 11 steals in 21 games since being called up.  In 91 games with Triple-A Oklahoma City this year, Villar stole 31 bases and was caught seven times. He’s ready to dance with you. JAM 

DJ LeMahieu, 2B/3B, Colorado Rockies: Dingle Junk LeMahieu has no pop, but will swipe some bags. He has 14 steals over 265 at-bats this year. *grabs abacus* That’s a steal every 18 AB’s. JAM

David Aardsma, RP, NYM: Aardsma blew a save in New York two weeks ago. Fans weren’t happy. When the Aardvark got home his bed was gone. He had to curl up with Mr. Met. CRAM

 

Thanks for playing along Razzballer’s. The Goo is here to ease your fantasy depression and answer your jammer crammer questions. Follow The Guru on Twitter @TheGuruGS for the daily jam or cram, fantasy roster 411’s and other gooey shenanigans.

 

 

 

  1. Taz says:
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    I have 6 teams. 1 in first, 1 second, 3 are top 5, 1 is done. Thanks for the help this year Razzball.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Happy to help, Taz. Good luck down the stretch.

  2. Jack Full O' Hate says:
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    I think Sky rocks the Kenny Easley jersey when he goes into crazy mode

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ha! Now that is funny! I’m searching for my Russ Francis throwback as we speak.

      • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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        @The Guru: I’m all wrapped up in my Karl Mecklenburg

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Are you sure that’s not a Fred Dryer?

          • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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            @The Guru: it’s at the cleaners after being in JB’s rcl draft

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              How many leagues are you in? I just started another RCL if you want in.

              • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                @The Guru: I’m commishing one too. When is your draft?

                • The Guru

                  The Guru says:
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                  Friday at 6pm your time.

                  • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                    @The Guru: can’t make that, I have to work bingo at my daughters school that night

                    • The Guru

                      The Guru says:
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                      That’s the same thing Liv Tyler said to me when I asked her out. *sad face*

                  • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                    @The Guru: that’s ok little camper, we have my draft on sunday, are you ready for IDP? also be sure to pay attention to the settings, we getting all crazy with points per carry, point per completion and negative incompletion points, if this was twitter I’d say #mansleague

                    • The Guru

                      The Guru says:
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                      Yeah, looking forward to it.

                  • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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                    @The Guru: you missed my sweet tweet back at you

  3. Stephen NotTheAuthor King says:
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    Only two teams. One is in a battle for 3/4. The other is second to last (but admittedly is in rebuilding mode, being a long term dynasty league) As I stated to Grey in a previous article though, I’m pretty much done move making at this point and have no idea what to do with my life since I pretty much hate football. Grey suggested stamp collecting. What say you?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Write a children’s book titled, “Daddy drinks because you cry.” Then join us on Fantasy Football Island!

    • bossmanjunior says:
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      @Stephen NotTheAuthor King:

      A website that gets me through the offseason is Rotographs, the fantasy extension of Fangraphs. They do good sabermetric break downs and previews on every single player. Either that or maybe start a Meth lab? Science is fun!

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Haven’t you been watching “Breaking Bad”? Has TV taught us nothing?

        • bossmanjunior says:
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          @The Guru:

          No sir, I’m an anti-dentite!

          • The Guru

            The Guru says:
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            Well played. I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.

            • goodfold2 says:
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              @The Guru: i forgot walter was malcolm in the middle’s dad AND the dentist Whatley. He became Jewish so he could tell Jew jokes.

  4. bossmanjunior says:
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    This is absolutely ridiculous. In my h2h league this week I have only one win, by a reliever nonetheless. I desperately need another win today and have Bumgardner, Gio, and Harvey going today. So that’s a slam dunk for a win today, right? Well so far Bumgardner crapped the bed against the Marlins and Gio is losing against the Braves. Come on Harvey!!

    • Stephen NotTheAuthor King says:
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      @bossmanjunior: Gio has driven me up the wall this year. Ugh

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Gio needs sum juice! Go Harvey.

  5. Joey B. says:
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    Houston just announced closer by committee with Fields and Lo, depending on their prior days’ workload. Does that change your JAM to CRAM?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Damn you, Bo Porter. I still likey the Lo longtime.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @The Guru: fields is str terrible and Lo should eventually be standard full closer, except for weirdo situations where they leave lyles in too long, and then put in some dude named chapman for matchups.

  6. Joey B. says:
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    With the O’s up 3-2 today, guess who Buck brought in to get the last out in the 7th inning? Tommy Hunter. Guess Buck *still* isn’t going to trust him over Johnson, despite every peripheral saying he should. Sigh. I need another closer but doesn’t look like Baltimore’s going to cough one up soon.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Damn you, Buck! Let JJ blow a couple more and he’ll make the change.

      • Joey B. says:
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        @The Guru: Rockies’ pitching is so bad, he may not get that opportunity today!

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Remember that time the Rockies made it to the WS? Good times.

  7. David says:
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    Keeper league 7×7 with the 2 extra pitching categories being holds and quality starts; the 2 extra hitting are obp and slugging. Which side would you rather be on? J. Zimmerman, Segura, Hamilton or Price, Rollins and Cespedes? Thank you

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Think I’ll lean the Cespedes side. Now I’m craving a cuban sandwich.

  8. Mike

    Mike says:
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    Your SAGNOF Jams and Crams are my favorite (for obvious reasons). Thanks for the shout-out and great stuff as always! Love me some Dyson…another swipe today

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks, Mike. Good work on the Dyson suggestion, I was a little late to the party but he’s grabbing me some steals.

  9. bb says:
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    i am in a heated race for the championship in my league. it’s a 12 team auction league with OPS and k/bb and each team gets 3 keepers at the price you drafted them at. i am tied in first right now and home runs is one of the closes categories – four people are tied. I was just offered prince fielder and adam jones for my $3 edwin encarnacion. i am playing aoki and gardner at util spots so i would bench one of them. my other keepers are $8 goldschmidt, $2 segura and if i traded edwin my third keep would be $3 aroldis. do you think it’s worth it?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d do it and win now.

  10. Momuirnin says:
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    Chia J-Lo. Funny stuff. Well done Goo. And congratulations on your fantasy baseball season. Impressive! So glad you will be around to help me with fantasy football. It’s my first attempt and I must beat the boys. Defeating them would be nice too. ;)

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks and good luck with the beatings.

      • Momuirnin says:
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        @The Guru: who needs luck when you have skill and a good spatula?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          If you’re interested in joining an RCL football league I can send you a link.

          • Momuirnin says:
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            @The Guru: @The Guru: sounds fun! Are you sure this is wise? I’ll know all your tricks.

  11. G says:
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    Want to pick up another SS since I have starlin without dropping starlin. I was about to pick up dozier, aybar, or Aviles. But then someone dropped headley and figured he’s be good to snag which I did. Thoughts on whether I should hold or drop one of headley, boegarts, or yellich for one of three SS i mentioned? If so, which SS would you go with? Thanks as usual.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d hold for now.

  12. RandomItalicizedVoice says:
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    16 teams…nothing below 3rd. Impressive, most impressive. I gotta ask…are they all what you would consider to be “competitive leagues”?

    Myself, I’m in a measly 6 leagues, lol, all of which range from fairly competitive to cut-throat competitive. I’ve rolling with three 1sts, one 2nd, one 3rd (5 pts out of 1st), and one 4th (14-teams). Hoping to grab 3rd in that 14-teamer, and still shooting to win the one I’m in 3rd in (those are my two money leagues). That 2nd place team has no chance of winning the league.

    That said, I’ve enjoyed your posts this year. Hopefully you’ll be back next year. By the way…out of curiosity, about how many move do you usually end up making in your leagues, in general?

    Cheers.
    [i]RIV[/i]

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks, nice year for you. I’m in competitive leagues, a couple long time keeper types. No fun when guys quit in May. I’m around a 100 moves made so far.

  13. Silky says:
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    Uehara orHunter ROS? Points league where saves are 8 points and K’s are 2points.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s Koji time.

      • Silky says:
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        @The Guru: Benoit or Uehara ROS?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Koji time!

  14. Silky says:
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    Gyorko or Parra in my H2H points league? No specific needs, only want points for the next week or two

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s really a toss up this week, but I’d lean Gyorko.

      • Silky says:
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        @The Guru: what about Ruf, Jay or Gyorko?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          I like it Ruf this week.

  15. Chris says:
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    Ervin Santana was dropped in my league. I can drop a waiver on him tomorrow. The bottom end of my staff is J. Parker, Beachy, Cingrani and Chris Archer. Don’t really want to drop any of them. I was going to drop Archer for him but after today he may be healthy again. Should I drop any of these for Santana? thanks.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Hey Chris, I’d hold.

  16. Mr. Glass says:
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    Would you drop hellickson for nova this week and the ROS

    Ps I hope a rod get drilled one time just for good measure

  17. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    Nova this week and Hellickson ROS.

    I don’t think the drama is over at Fenway tonight.

  18. FillyP says:
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    Was that a Built to Spill reference? Because I fucking love BTS. If so, well done!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      SSHHH…Keep it like a secret.

  19. Jiggy Nits says:
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    Logan Morrison (1$) vs Nate Eovaldi (10$) NL only keeper 5×5 roto. Which side?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Yuck. I’s spend my buck on Morrison.

  20. gareth says:
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    I’m Desperate for sagnof. I’ve been thinking about picking up dyson and bone face this week to give my stats a quick boost.they have stole a lot in a short space of time. However I looked deeper and The caveat I have with those 2 this week is they both have HORRIBLE splits and their numbers against lefties are really not good. They face danks, gio and I think one other lefty (quintana) in their 6 games. They also face jordan Zimmerman and a revitalized dan haren. You gotta get on base to steal!

    Ended up grabbing villar. I’m just hoping he plays regularly this week.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      The SAGNOF curse is most of the guys available to get you steals is that they kinda suck. That’s some great insight by me there.

      Villar may help, but Dyson is the guy Ihave to roll with tight now.

  21. Alan says:
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    Which 3 RPs do I go with this week in 5×5?

    R Soriano, Friei, Romo, Koji

    Gracias

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d leave out Frieri if you’re chasing saves.

  22. future11 says:
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    Guru- Just re-tweated your Bogaerts tweet great news!

    Are you thinking in the short term:

    Middlebrooks at 1b
    XB at 3b?

    - They wouldnt call him up to platoon him right? he is going to play, even when/if napoli gets back.

    - In other baseball related notes can I safely drop rizzo? This guy is causing more harm then good to my team. Im about to trade Shelby Miller to get Lawrie to fill my UTL spot (rizzo is there for now)

    want to drop rizzo for some pitching

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Finally its Xander time. He’s going to get playing time at third and short.

      Personally I wouldn’t drop Rizzo.

  23. Josh Freeman says:
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    Guru:

    Have to rest one of these:
    2-start Burnett @ SD; @SF
    2-start Lynn ATL; @Mil
    2-start Beachy @NYM; @StL
    1-start Wainwright ATL

    H2H pts league. I want to start all 3 of my 2-starters, but something tells me Wainwright will outscore one (all?!?!) of them.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Wow, tough call man. I expect good starts from all those guys. Tough to sit Wainwright, but the others do have 2 starts.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’ll never get those 52 seconds back and I’m glad. Thanks.

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