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Before we commence with the jamming and the cramming and the whatnot, let your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru pull on your dirty turban about something here – The Razzball Fantasy Football 32 in 32 in 32 Tour kicks off August 4 in Seattle! The Goo and that podcastin’ broadcastin’ master Nick C-A-P-O-Z-Z-I will be hitting the road for a 50,000 mile frenzy of fantasy ballin’ depravity that’ll make Motley Crue’s 1984 tour look downright virtuous. Razzball Radio will have shows from all 32 NFL cities and I’ll be posting the daily dirt on the football side of things so you can follow along. We hope to meet, greet and tip a few back with all you Razzicians, Razzaholics, chronic Razzturbators and four girl readers. There are still some spots available, so get your tix here and you could win a trip to Vegas with the Razzball crew.

scooter

If you’re still with me, let’s high five and chest bump because that means your fake baseball team is still in the hunt. We are about to hit the most important month of the fantasy season. August is the time of year where the contenders separate from the pretenders and fantasy legends are made. If your team is muddled in the middle of mediocrity, it’s time to make some bold moves and push toward the top. If your team is king of the leader board, a minor roster tweak or twerk could be the move that wins you all the cash, prizes, glory and glory holes that come with a fake baseball championship. If your team is stuck in last place, may I suggest fantasy cricket, getting a girlfriend or binge drinking – see you next season.

This week’s jammers and crammers are a collection ex’s we thought we had sworn off forever. Much like my ex-girlfriend Brenda, they are hard to resist when they call at 2 a.m. promising everything will be different this time. Then, after a couple days of bliss, you wake up to find your wallet gone, the tires slashed on your car and a bunny boiling on the stove. However, we be desperate as Ryan Zimmerman, George Springer and Troy Tulowitzki hit the DL. Who saw that coming? “I did, Guru.” Brenda! The court order states you have to stay at least 500 feet away from this blog. It’s time to Jam it or Cram it!

 

Jam or Cram: Chase Headley, 3B, New York Yankees

2014 Stats: 293 AB, 29 R, 7 HR, 34 RBI, 4 SB, .239 AV.

Availability: 55% Yahoo, 39% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $6. The cheapest Headley you’ll ever pay for.

The Gist: Headley got shipped out of PETCO and sunny San Diego for the more hitter friendly House-Across-the-Street-From-the-House-That-Ruth-Built in the Bronx. This change of scenery may be just what Headley needs. Remember when you and Headley were hot and heavy back in 2012 when he hit 31 bombs and knocked in 115 runs? Yeah, good times. Since then he’s turned psycho with just 20 homers and a .230ish average.

Key Stats: PETCO Park was not Headley’s friend. In 460 games, he hit .245 with 35 homers and slugged .374. On the road, in 452 games, he’s hit .286, with 52 home run and a .444 SLG%.

Jam it or Cram it: I’m a firm believer in the geographical cure – that’s why I’ve lived in 10 different cities over the last 12 years. The problem with a change of scenery is you always bring yourself with you – and Brenda always shows up! Hi, Guru. Now, while Headley seems to be digging the new scene in NYC (he’s hitting .429 since the cross country move), he’s still, you know, Chase Headley. However, besides a tough matchup against Yu Darvish on Tuesday, Chase will have a chance to feast on a collection of struggling starters in Texas and Boston. Sure it feels dirty, but it’s a JAM.  

 

Jam or Cram: Mike Moustakas, 3B, Kansas City Royals

2014 Stats: 265 AB, 29 R, 13 HR, 40 RBI, 0 SB, .200 AV.

Availability: 83% Yahoo, 93% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $1. This reminds me. Note to self: Open food truck in Maine, sell $1 moose tacos,  make millions off stupid tourists, get shut down by health inspectors when it’s discovered “moose” tacos are actually made of tourists, spend rest of life in Super Max, regret plan.  Never mind.

The Gist: Once a top prospect we drooled over, Moustakas found himself searching out the best Greek restaurants in Omaha when the Royals sent him and his .152 average down to Triple-A in May. Since being recalled, he’s hit  .243 and was the third best third baseman in the third week of July as he went 7/21 (.391) with five runs, three homers and four RBI.

Key Stats: As bad as Moose Tacos has been, his .200 Isolated Power (SLG% minus BA) is borderline great and better than Adrian Beltre, Evan Longoria and David Wright.

Jam it or Cram it: While Moose has been showing signs of life lately, that .192 BABIP is a little more than bad luck. It’s a warning sign flashing “Don’t go down this road again.” Oh, how I want to believe everything will be fresh and new between me and Moose Tacos, but sometimes it’s best to just remember the good times we had and move on with our lives. Hold on a sec, Brenda’s on the phone…where were we? Oh, yeah, CRAM.

 

Jam or Cram: Josh Rutledge, 2B/SS, Colorado Rockies

2014 Stats: 130 AB, 23 R, 3 HR, 16 RBI, 0 SB, .308 AV.

Availability: 88% Yahoo, 93% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $4.

The Gist: Has our fantasy season come to this? With Troy Tulowtzki on his yearly disgraceful list stint, Dustin Pedroia and Jason Kipnis continuing to struggle and Jedd Gyorko dead to me, in walks former fantasy flame Josh Rutledge. Welcome back, kid. How’s things? You look great. Now live up to last year’s hype, help win us a fantasy title and all will be forgiven. Since taking over for Tulo, Rut is 10/24 (.417) with four runs, a homer and six RBI. That’s a start.

Key Stats: In Rutledge’s last four minor league seasons, he’s hit .348, .306, .371 and .333. Such a tease.

Jam it or Cram it: Rutledge is taking advantage of the opportunity as he had two hits, a homer and four RBI Friday night. He’s hitting at the top of the order, the Rockies can pile up points at home, he has that multi-positional eligibility we love and I like his matchup Sunday against the Pirates and the next four games in Cincy are in play as well. I can’t believe I’m about to write this…hold on while I let my pet tortoise Boris type it instead: lhw088g’jjlbou. I believe that says JAM.

 


Jam or Cram:
Oswaldo Arcia, OF, Minnesota Twins

2014 Stats: 187 AB, 22 R, 7 HR, 20 RBI, 1 SB, .225 AV.

Availability: 97% Yahoo, 99% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $0. Waldo is like the last lonely girl at closing time – free for the taking. Hi doll, ever had a moose taco?

The Gist: Remember that time I mentioned Oswaldo as a possible sleeper jam of the year? No? “I remember, Guru. I remember everything.”  Brenda! What are you doing in my closet?! After hitting 14 homers in 2013 (which led all AL rookies), I had visions of a 25 bomb season – only 18 more to go – but those visions were likely wishful thinking or someone slipped a mickey in my Mojito. The kid has legit power, but even homer friendly Target Field can’t help Waldo find his swing in that Twins lineup that is 25th in the league in home runs.

Key Stats: Waldo’scareer 18.9 K% and 8.2 BB% in the minors/pro are solid enough for a power hitting outfielder.

Jam it or Cram it: Oswaldo is like the hot new girl you asked out at the gym. Unfortunately, after a couple of dates you realize she got the crazy eyes and wants you to meet her parents. No doubt the potential is there as he hit .314 in seven minor league seasons with 68 homers and 308 RBI in 400 games, but Waldo is better left to be found in 2015. CRAM.

 

**Bonus Tracks: Other ex’s to reconsider**

Josh Reddick, OF, OAK: We had a blast together when you were in Boston. Let’s relive old times and head over to Blackthorn’s and fight some dudes from Southie. JAM.

James Loney, 1B, TB: Dear James, you were so full of promise back in 2008. Sorry things didn’t work out. CRAM.

Mark Reynolds, 1B/3B, MIL: You’ll always be Mini-Donkey to me. I just can’t quit you. And I need a third baseman. JAM.

Nick Swisher, 1B/OF, CLE: Those sideburns may be sexy, but that .205 average is a CRAM.

 

If you’re looking for more  jams and crams, check out Razzball RadioStalk me on the tweet machine @TheGuruGS, check out my blog the dirty turban and join us on the Razzball Football 32³ Tour. Get your tix here

 

 

 

From Around The Web

  1. Crazy old guy babbling in the corner says:
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    Headley, Eaton, Beltran, or Chris Carter?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Beltran

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Still Beltran. He’s been heating up lately.

  2. Lemmingness says:
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    Hey Guru,
    Weekly points league, what do you think of my Fister for Melky? I’m thinking I could be okay with Rios, but Melky’s been significantly better points wise (280 vs 2oo)

    My OF is
    Jones/ Brantley/ Calhoun/ Rios
    (JHamilton and Marte on the bench)

    And my SP’s are
    Darvish/ Scherzer/ Kazmir/ Latos/ A.Wood/ Fister/ Arrieta
    (Paxton, Cain on DL)

    • Lemmingness says:
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      @Lemmingness: Or would you prefer shipping out Latos? Fister’s looking good today

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Leaning Latos here. He doesn’t look right to me.

  3. CoachGonzo says:
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    Hey fellow fantasy baseball geeks. Keeper league question. In first by 6 points in a 12 team roto. Ive been offered his david price for my javy baez. Thoughts and wisdom appreciated. Geek on!

    sidenote: still have that offer on the table to accept, and he just offered price with utley for baez beckett, and gyorko…

    Guru or anyone, do I accept and which one?? Thanks

    Reply

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Go with the first one and win now. Second one’s not bad if you need a 2B.

      • coachgonzo says:
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        @The Guru: I do need one somehow have josh Harrison, and asdrubal in there at the moment. Hoping to get Rutledge or odor on waivers too. Thx Guru

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          No prob, good luck rest of the season. Thanks for Razzballin’.

  4. Chris says:
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    Hi Guru, good stuff thanks as always,

    So here’s my deal, I have Gyorko and Ecab do you have any idea if they are coming back next week? These are my options at MI 2nd and SS. who you starting?

    Thanks for any help!

    Gyorko 2nd MI
    Ecab ss-MI
    Aviles 2nd ss MI
    Valbuena 2nd MI
    Marwin Gonzalez

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks, man. I’d hold off n those 2 until we know they are back and can produce. The other 3 are interchangable depending on matchup. Hitter=tron is a good tool to see who they face this coming week.

  5. Crazy old guy babbling in the corner says:
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    Time to drop Polanco for the likes of victorino, eaton, etc?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I…just…can’t…do…it. He’s my mancrush and we go down together. Wait…that didn’t sound right.

      • Crazy old guy babbling in the corner says:
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        @The Guru: so for those of us with man crushes on better athletes… :)

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Seriously, I’m not readyt o give up on him. He’ll be in ARI this week against some bad righties in a park where hitters usually let it fly.

          • Crazy old guy babbling in the corner says:
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            @The Guru: ok, I’ll give him til then… But sitting in the 7th hole now hurts his value..

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              That’s because of the lefties in COL.

  6. Old Hippy says:
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    I’m losing faith in Jason Hammel. How do you rank ROS (10-cat H2H) between Brandon McCarthy, Danny Salazar and Jason Hammel. Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Not the best bunch to choose from. Any one of them can be good or get blown up depending on math up. I’d stick with Hammel in the better ballpark.

  7. Henry says:
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    Mark Reynolds, Steve Pearce, or Ryan Howard?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Like Pearce this week.

  8. Traws says:
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    Yo Gu Manchu, how’s it?

    I’m itching (ew) to grab Rutledge, but I’m already rocking Arismendy at ss. Hold or pull the trigga? It’s a 10 team roto league, not like 20,000 leagues under the sea deep but also not tide pool status – ya feel?

    Thanks, much appreciated.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Hold ‘Mendy for now.

      • Traws says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks, roger that.

  9. Steve says:
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    So I’m more or less covered at 1B between Moss and my recent battycall Duda.

    Question is, should I be dropping Hosmer for any of these guys? Can be basically any position as it will be a bench / platoon player for the most part:

    Alcides Escobar
    Jennings
    Scooter
    Craig
    Headley
    Lorenzo Cain
    JJ Hardy

    Thanks. Shallow roto league, main needs are probable more towards speed and avg., but could always use a little power….

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Can you trade him for some speed? I like Jennings for around 10 SB, a few homers and some runs. He won’t help with average, but neither will the other guys really.

  10. The Borzoi says:
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    ROS, Alcantara or Wong?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Close, but I’d go Wong on a better team.

  11. Harris says:
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    Even if Cargo is healthy, do I start him. Here are his last 6 weeks (h2h) with a DL stint in between.
    7,5,7 DL 7,5,12. Guy hasn’t broken 20 pts since week 6. Now he’s day to day as well. It’s a 10 team league, I can take one of 20 decent OF’s. More importantly, what do YOU think?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Hitter-tron likes him this week. Car-glass is dead to me. Ha!

  12. can't fight fate says:
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    Ruttlidge, Hill or Kipnis. Who would you drop in a 12 team league?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Rutledge

  13. nick the dick says:
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    Yo Gu in my 10 team h2h i had dropped hill and grabbed wong to ride the hotness but hill seems to be stepping it up as of late should i switch back? Also my 12 team i have wong, mendy, zobrist, kendrick and segura to fill 2b, MI and Util and im hurting in pitching so i have to reluctantly drop either segura, wong or mendy and grab an arm or stream, who is the drop? I could just drop lesser arms to stream but having 2 bench bats as it is isnt my cup of tea.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Drop Wong in both cases.

      • nick the dick says:
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        @The Guru: even though youve previously recommended wong over mendy? I know its close…

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Its a coin flip really. In a 10 team league Wong will prob still be on the wire, if you drop Mendy someone will pick him up.

          • nick the dick says:
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            @The Guru: ya im fine dropping wong in the 10 team for hill but in the 12 if i drop him he will be grabbed up. Prob arismendy too, i guess its just a preference. Thanks for the input goo punch

  14. Bob says:
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    Wilson Ramos or Vogt?

    Kole Calhoun or Austin Jackson?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Vogt and Calhoun.

  15. J-FOH says:
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    Im making that pic into a t-shirt

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s a classic!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @The Guru: it will be perfect for the 32in32in32 party in san diego.

  16. Tom says:
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    In a H2H OBP league. Slightly weak in OBP & R’s. Duda has been killing it lately. I’m wondering if I should drop Napoli for him. I think Napoli will have slightly more runs and a better OBP, but he plays in a national league park during the week of 8/4 and 8/11. On the other hand, Duda is supposed to start playing against LHP which he has been horrible against.

    Thoughts?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d stick with Nap. Duda is a hot schmotato.

  17. nick the dick says:
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    Would you drop tanaka to put cashner in the DL spot?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Tanaka’s not officially done yet, but it looks bad as he still has pain in the elbow. Tough to drop, but I don’t think he’s back this year. Cashner threw a bullpen and could be back mid-August, maybe. I might hold for now and hope for a miracle.

      • nick the dick says:
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        @The Guru: ya i just wanna stash the guy who will actually help me for my playoff run and its looking like tanaka isnt that guy and cashner might be. Ive been balking at dropping tanaka but with playoffs starting sept 1 i cant see him miraculously coming back before that

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Agreed, drop him.

  18. Green monstah says:
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    Hey guru master

    Which bat do you like the best for this week ; Lucas duda, Josh Rutledge or Chase headley?

    Drop Matt latos for either odorozzi , Ervin Santana or deGrom?

    Thanks guru !!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ride the Duda hot streak. Latos looks hurt to me, deGrom’s looking good, but I think Arrieta is the one to own ROS just ahead of Santana.

  19. Bye Felicia says:
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    I.hope dropping crush dosent come back to bite me. I need to.open a streaming spot. 6 teams are within 4 gms of each other, fighting for 4 playoff spots. He has 14 starts this week and I.only had 11. I.already used 4 moves replacing injured guys. I actually just won the week 10-2 6×6 OPS +QS.

    Sometimes you.gotta do what needs to be done to win right!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Be bold, win now! Good luck.

  20. fausto says:
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    Just what I needed on a sunday night a jam/cram session..
    Kemp value increase with a trade to Bos.? Decrease if he goes Sea? Or is that a push? . Should I be shopping him in our fake baseball game? Im a bit handcuffed with springer hurt… I could try to package kemp with an sp for Blackmon. Or straight up for ozuna.

    Jam Dom Brown or Reddick ROS?

    Jam Rutlidge or Harrison ROS

    You are appreesh.
    XoXo.

    how do I get an avatar? I will keep it PG or is that for professionals only? .. The robot keeps asking me “Razzball is a site for fantasy……..?” I’ve tried everything including figure skating.
    Thanks.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’ll be interesting to see if Kemp gets moved. The Dodgers will have to eat a lot of cash if it’s Boston. I don’t see a lot of value either way.

      Brown and Rut.

      Think you type in baseball.

      • fausto says:
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        @The Guru: cheers and Thanks. Now I feel like im a part of something finally… The Gurules. Sorry I hit you again below. 2 more jams.

        • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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          @fausto: invite me to those leagues where you can trade kemp for ozuna. esp if they are in STL.

  21. Crazy old guy babbling in the corner says:
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    Minor had another mediocre outing against a mediocre team–time to part ways? My replacement options are Odorizzi, Hellickson (rays are sooo hot now), Salazar, or Stroman?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d hold for now.

      • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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        @The Guru: don’t know how odorizzi or stroman are still available in that league, but they won’t be for long.

  22. Connor says:
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    Got offered Cano and David Wright for Jose Altuve and Adrian Beltre, which side would you take?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Oh, nice trade offer. Maybe I’m crazy, but I love what Altuve gives you in all categories and Beltre is kind of good at baseball.

      • Connor says:
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        @The Guru: thanks for the quick response! Yeah I think I’ll hold but it got me thinking

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          No prob. It’s an intriguing offer, but I just don’t like Wright.

  23. Timm says:
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    Drop Dallas keuchel or Alex wood who seem to have been slumping to add Marcus Stroman ? Or stick w/ keuchel/ wood? Gracias!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s close between Keuchel and Stroman. I’d hold.

  24. fausto says:
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    One more double bonus jam.
    Lorenzo Cain or D-Span
    Need sb bc im thinking about trading alcides escobar for Hardy. Technically I could add both and drop My Two James’ (Loney/Jones) Jones is no longer sagnof worthy. Or Sagin’ off if your miss jackson and you’re nasty.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
      (link)

      Drop the James twins of you need the SAGNOF.

  25. coachgonzo says:
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    Hey Im back Guru, I took your approval and took that price,and utley for my baez, gyorko, and beckett deal. Pretty pumped about that.However, am I right to be competitively pissed that the last place team then traded his starlin castro,todd frazier, and heyward to receive tulo,stubbs, and mcgahee, from the 2nd place team. Im a a ball and win regardless, but I did lend the owner 2 cents. Its a 12 team 10 player roto keeper league. Razzball is awesome, the floor is yours ….thank u

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
      (link)

      Thanks man. Fun time of year to trade, no need to be pissed. Just outplay him. Ha!

  26. J-Dub says:
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    Wong or Gordon ROS

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      As in Dee Gordon? Dee.

  27. Bleacher creature says:
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    Howdy guru!! This week I’m between polanco, jay Bruce & aramis Ramirez at utility who do you prefer? Thanks & have a great week!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      No on A-Ram as he gets some tough SP. Bruce and Polanco have been struggling, but leaning Polanco vs. bad pitching in a hitters park.

  28. Halkster says:
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    Rutledge over holt or a Escobar? ROS

    And
    Hold soria? or drop to stream and grab cj Wilson to stash on DL

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Escobar. Might hold Soria as he could take over the closers job.

  29. ty says:
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    Good shiz Guru…Sunday Razz is what I needed. Although Headley got the Jam would you start him over Arenado this week? I like both their match-ups this week or maybe I can run with both and have 1 DH. I wanna start Alcantara in my DH for some steals but they havent been running him like they were when he first got called up.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d go Arenado if he was home, but I’ll give Headley the edge this week.

  30. Who dis week? says:
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    Alcanterra or DSantana?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      This week I give the edge to Alcantara.

  31. Andre says:
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    Need some pitching help. Have Jason Hammel in my league, and since the trade to Oakland he’s been a dumpster fire. Do I drop him and pick up one of:

    Liriano, Shelby Miller, Masterson, Bucholtz, Colon, Tillman, Paxton, Kyle Hendricks or should I hold?

    We have a limited number of roster moves for the season so this would have to be for ROS….counting stats are W, Sv, ERA, WHIP, Ks, and QS. Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d grab Liriano.

  32. goodfold2 says:
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    I don’t understand why ISO power is used as a positive thing at all. it seems just an indicator of donkeyness. of course mostsuckass has a great ISO, if couldn’t even hit homers he simply would not have a job, since a sub .200 hitter without power is completely worthless.

Comments are closed.