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Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Go do some dad stuff today. Put on some plaid pants, play some golf, watch some baseball, fire up the grill, drink some Schlitz, and tell them kids to get off your lawn. When it comes to Papa Guru *cue “Cat’s in the Cradle”* I got my love for baseball, gambling and fine scotch from the man we kids called “Run, dad’s home!” When it comes to this fake baseball game we spend way too much time on while ignoring our own kids it all started for me when Papa Guru introduced me to Strat-O-Matic back in the 80’s. I was forever hooked on baseball stats. It was a fun game for father/son bonding until the old man got sent to the hoosgow for safecracking – not the best profession for a man that suffered hearing damage in ‘Nam. No, he wasn’t hurt in the war, he just got a little too close to Ning Pam during her flaming ping pong ball trick. Think The Deer Hunter crossed with Porn Hub. Since I basically played Russian roulette with closers on all my RCL teams this year I’ve been getting my face blown off by the likes of Grant Balfour and Jim Johnson all season long. I’m not hurting so much with steals, but could use a multi-positional bench SAGNOFer to maximize at-bats and grab some cheap stats. Let’s fire up the Jammer Crammer© machine and see if there’s anything left for us SAGNOF! starved Razzaholics to salvage. Since it is Father’s Day, I’ll let Papa Guru give his opinion on each player – he’s going to do it whether we let him or not. It’s time for an encore edition of the SAGNOF! Jam it or Cram it.

If you’re looking for some bonus jams and crams, check out Razzball Radio where Nick and your well turbaned Guru talk jams of the week and I share why I hate the World Cup.

 

Jam or Cram: Dexter Fowler, OF, Houston Astros

2014 Stats:  241 AB, 38 R, 4 HR, 19 RBI, 6 SB, .282 AV.

Availability: 53% Yahoo, 46% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $6. It’s a buck a steal.

The Gist: Dexter is killing it over his last seven games with a homer, five runs and three RBI.  However, he hasn’t swiped a bag since May. What in the name of SAGNOF! is going on here?! Why else would I own this guy? Well, Fowler is currently the No. 40 ranked outfielder on the player rater ahead of guys like Matt Kemp and Shin-Soo Choo. Now Fowler is kind of a SAGNOF! tease as the speed is legit, but he hasn’t stolen more than 20 bases since 2009. However, the Astros are fifth in the league in stolen bases and Fowler is now hitting regularly in the leadoff spot.

Key Stats: Fowler is a bit of an unconventional Platoony Tune – he’s hitting over .300 at home and about .220 on the road.

Papa Guru Says: “How do I know if you should add him? You’re supposed to be the expert, Mr. Bigshot baseball man. And take that f***in’ turban off, you look like a terrorist!”

Jam it or Cram it: After a slow start Fowler’s been picking it up hitting .347 over the last month with a .430 OBP – raising his average to .282 along with 19 RBI and 6 steals. I think he’ll pick up the pace on the steals as the Astros are running more lately. Let’s say he snags another 12-15 the rest of the way. Need runs, need steals, have the room? Fowler’s a SAGNOF! starved JAM.

 

Jam or Cram: Joel Peralta, RP, Tampa Bay Rays

2014 Stats: 29.2 IP, 2 W, 0 SV, 33 K, 3.94 ERA, 1.21 ERA

Availability: 93% Yahoo, 98% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $1.

The Gist: How do you know when your team is in last place? You hear things like “We need to manufacture runs” and the dreaded “Closer by committee” phrase gets uttered. The Rays bullpen is a mess with Grant Balfour struggling with a 5.88 ERA and nearly as many walks as strikeouts. The mad scientist known as Joe Maddon will be playing closer roulette with Ball-Four, Jake McGee and Peralta until one of them figures it out. It wouldn’t surprise me if Madden did something really crazy and tabbed someone like Juan Carlos Oviedo or 50 Cent to close games. However, Peralta may be the best reliever in Maddon’s laboratory. Through 32 games Peralta has 33 K’s, 10 walks and opponents are hitting just .220 against him.

Key Stats: Peralta had 41 holds last season.

Papa Guru Says: “Pull my finger. That’s what Peralta smells like.”

Jam it or Cram it: Yup, I’m one of those “don’t pay for saves guys” and wondering why my teams are stuck in sixth place. Maddon said he wants to give Balfour some “successful moments” before giving him the keys to the ninth inning again. Maddon then ordered the team to dress like their favorite A-Team character and put a king cobra in Balfour’s locker. “Just trying to keep things loose.” Me thinks Madden prefers Peralta as his high-leverage situation set-up guy and eventually goes back to Balfour because he likes his Crocodile Dundee accent. CRAM.

 

Jam or Cram: Daniel Santana, SS/OF, Minnesota Twins

2014 Stats:  90 AB, 12 R, 2 HR, 12 RBI, 5 SB, .356 AV.

Availability: 57% Yahoo, 25% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $5.

The Gist: Love those multi-positional guys as I’ve really made an effort to maximize at-bats this season. Santana is an ok OF5 option, but where his value is high is shortstop – a position that has been thinner than Victoria Beckham after an Olive Garden restroom purge.  The Twins short-fielder is hitting .356 with five steals in less than 100 at-bats and is getting regular playing time.

Key Stats: Hit .297 with 30 steals at Double-A last year.

Papa Guru Says: “My son the Guru. Do you wear a Kotex with that earring? You do like girls right?”

Jam it or Cram it: In over 2000 plate appearances in the minors, Santana hit .274, but the OBP was only .314 – not ideal for a leadoff man whose game is speed. He does have 11 hits and a couple steals over his last seven games. You’re not going to get power, but when you’re scratching for the SAGNOF! beggars can’t be choosers. The multi-positions make for a great middle infield plug and play or bench bat. The SAGNOF! God’s are smiling on the smooth one and it’s a JAM.

 

Jam or Cram: Ronald Belisario, RP, Chicago White Sox

2014 Stats:33 IP, 3 W, 6 SV, 25 K, 4.91 ERA, 1.18 WHIP

Availability: 76% Yahoo, 58% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $2.

The Gist: Belisario is the last man standing in the White Sox Closepocalypse. The ERA is almost as ugly as Beli, but the WHIP is low and Robin Ventura seems aggressively disinterested in giving the job to anyone else – “What, I’m the manager of the White Sox? Really?” Belisario has been effective over the last couple of weeks with 4 saves, a 3.60 ERA, and a 1.00 WHIP.

Key Stats: Coming into the season the bespectacled Belisario owns a 3.37 career ERA and five saves.

Papa Guru Says: “I knew a guy who got his head shot off in ‘Nam and never said a word, so stop bitching about your fake baseball team.”

Jam it or Cram it: There are not a lot of options when it comes to finding saves on the wire. Also, why is it that when I send you a trade offer for one of your seven closers you counter with LaTroy Hawkins for Mike Trout?Don’t make my dad beat up your dad. If I were ranking closers right now I’d have Belisario behind Chad Qualls, Zach Britton and the long dead Tug McGraw. Yes, my SAGNOF! loving friends, it has come to this. JAM. 

 

**SAGNOFIAN BONUS TRACKS**

Corey Dickerson, OF, COL: The son of dick gets the Dodgers at the beginning of the week – CRAM. He gets the Brewers at the end of the week - JAM.

Antonio Bastardo, RP, PHI: Just speculating on future SAGNOF here, but I think Jonathan Papelbon gets dealt by the trade deadline and the ol’ dirty Bastardo is closing games this summer. JAM.

Kirby Yates, RP, TB: This isn’t a real baseball player is it? Oh, apparently he is and our closer whisperer Smokey talked him up here. Good read, Smokey, but I still say CRAM.

Ben Revere, OF, PHI: Revere is fourth in the league in steals and is less than 75% owned. I thought you needed SAGNOF? JAM

 

Take dad out for some brews then leave a question or stalk me on Twitter @TheGuruGS. Also, check out my blog for more dirty turbaned nonsense. 

 

  1. Peter Nincompoop says:
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    Nice addition having Papa Guru…good article as always. The Hitter-tron is say that Calhoun, Parra and Jackson are all going to have a solid upcoming weeks. Jam any of them over the likes of Yangervis Solarte? Also, what’s your thoughts on Alex Wood ETA back in the bigs?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks for Razzballin’, Peter. I’d take any of them over Solarte this week, but Calhoun is the play here. As far as Wood goes, the Braves haven’t really said as he gets stretched out. He only threw 3 2/3 innings Friday night and looked good – no runs, just two hits, five Ks. I’d say he’ll be up by the end of June.

  2. J-FOH says:
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    In the same vein as Dickerson is Stubbs at home batting over .400. Jack’s Jammy Jam!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Jam Happy Jack! Yeah, those Rockies bats will be popular at the end of the week.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @The Guru: I think Stubbs doesn’t get the love he deserves. He’s needy yo’s.

        OK, top three songs that remind you of your dad?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Stones “Paint it Black”
          Cat Stevens “Father and Son”
          John Denver “Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas”

          • J-FOH says:
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            @The Guru: Nice one with Paint it Black, I have a stones song in there and I was agonizing between that one and my selection below.

            1) You Can’t Always Get What You Want – Rolling Stones, probably the most commonly quoted chorus anytime I asked for anything

            2) Black Cow – Steely Dan, family road trips and he would pop in Aja and this was always the start of a great set.

            3) Listen to the Music – heard a lot of Doobie Brothers growing up and I think he was nicely telling me to shut up and listen to the music.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @The Guru: really no comment?

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Trying to block out the 1970’s am radio/family road trips from my mind.

              • J-FOH says:
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                @The Guru: we had a tape deck

                • The Guru

                  The Guru says:
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                  Get this: My pops had a car with a record player in it. It only played 45’s and played them upside down (the needle was under the record). Wish I had that now.

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @The Guru: It had to be some 1960’s Chrysler Corp car. I know they came in some models, I’ve actually seen some.

                    • The Guru

                      The Guru says:
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                      Think it was a ’60 sumthing Coronet.

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @The Guru: what I would give to have some of my father’s cars

                    • ram says:
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                      @J-FOH: My old man liked Marty Robbins, Frank Sinatra and the Carpenters in his 8-track deck on vacations. Love one of the 3!
                      What are your thoughts on Villar – speed worth that poisonous avg? I can use Alcides or Dan Santana – but can use DanSan a few places.

  3. Zar says:
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    Hey guru, what’s your opinion on Neil Ramirez? Is he just a fill in for Rondon for a couple of days?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      His save wasn’t exactly clean the other night, but if Rondon’s elbow blows up he’ll get a real shot.

      • Zar says:
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        @The Guru: cool, thanks! Also, related to an earlier comment, alex wood worth the stash now for when he comes back up?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          If you’re really hurting for starting pitching he could be useful. I don’t think I’d use the space just yet.

          • Zar says:
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            @The Guru: I’m not hurting I think. But I’m already stashing heany. I’ll wait thanks!

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Heaney is a nice stash, no real need to have a bench full of dead weight.

  4. Fantasy Newb says:
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    My Gregory Polanco for his C.J. Wilson and Jason Hammel. Should I accept?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I wouldn’t unless I’m truly desperate for pitching. And no way I do it in a keeper league.

    • Peter Nincompoop says:
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      @Fantasy Newb: Agreed…there’s no way you accept this trade in a keeper league. Pitching is SO deep and Wilson and Hammel are serviceable middle-of-the-road types. The jury is still out on Polanco, but out of this year’s OF rookie crop (i.e., Springer, Polanco, Taveras), he could be the guy to have going forward.

  5. grif says:
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    Guru,
    in a dynasty, which closer would you rather own: Mejia or frieri? Both are a available on waivers but only have room for one.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Going with Fieri here just because he has shown that he can do the job.

      • Peter Nincompoop says:
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        @The Guru: Neither in a dynasty, but if that’s your only two options, I definitely go with Frieri.

  6. MR.T says:
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    abreu and andrus for CarGo and Hanley Ramirez… wich side?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Interesting trade offer. Because of the health of CarGo and Hanley (he usually gets dinged up at some point) I’m going to take the side that will have the best player ROS and that’s Abreu.

  7. Chris says:
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    Hey Guru

    Always good stuff!! I picked up Mcgee, probably a wasted pick up oh well. Pick two to start this week for each set please sir. 5×5 Thanks!

    Whitley vs Toronto
    Dice K @ Miami
    Lincecum @ Ari

    Chris Carter
    Seth Smith
    Soriano

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks Chris. Timmy/Whitley and Smith/Soriano.

  8. Nick says:
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    Great as always, Guru. I’m thinking of maybe dropping Wheeler, is it time for Heaney?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      A tip of the turban to ya Nick. I’d hold on Wheeler. Not sure what we’ll get from Heaney.

  9. Chris says:
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    One more Guru,

    I have no closer, do I trade Chris Carter for one? Not really willing to trade anyone else for one and what kind of quality of closer do I ask for him?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Not sure you will get anything for Carter, but if you have no closer anyone will do.

  10. Jubu_Needs_A_Refill says:
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    Would you trade B Hamilton for M Latos in a 10 team keeper league (6 players max)? I already have steals covered (Ellsbury, Polonco, McCutchen) but I’m not thinking Latos is keeper worthy while Hamilton might be. Needing pitching pretty bad.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I hear you on Latos, but if he stays healthy he’ll be one of the top 10 SP ROS. If you really need pitching it’s fair enough.

  11. malamoney

    malamoney says:
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    Springer or Pujols rest of season?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Love Springer, but it’s Pujols – barely.

      • malamoney

        malamoney says:
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        @The Guru: I can’t keep either and I have a surplus in the OF

        • Peter Nincompoop says:
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          @malamoney: Pujols if that’s your situation.

  12. matlock says:
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    5×5 roto….pedroia/krush davis for craig/bailey..thoughts?

    also, dump cron for b. snyder in a 18 team keeper? i know the age gap but cron just doesnt get consistent pt.

    thx in advance!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Pedroia side. I could see dumping Cron, you’re right that he doesn’t get consistent ABs.

  13. Brett says:
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    Guru

    You buying McGee as the closer in Tampa or cram?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      He might be the best reliever there, but you never know with Mad Maddon.

  14. Sange76 says:
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    12 team h2h weekly points keeper league

    Drop Ian Kennedy for any of Ventura, Niese, Hammel, or Stroman? Or just roll with the Hodgepadre this week?

    Rest of the staff is Hamels, cole, Beckett, Garrett Anderson, (5 sp max on roster, 7 starts in a week)

    Thanks!!!

    • Sange76 says:
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      @Sange76:

      Sorry. Meant Garrett Richards.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      The Beckett start in San Diego on the 21st looks damn tasty.

  15. Abdoozy says:
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    Yo Guru,

    Is it too late to sell high on Dee Gordon? The regression fairies are holding a convention. Only problem is replacing him at 2b.. Assuming nobody will be willing to trade me for a better 2, wire options are semi ugly: Beckham, Ackley, Wong, Infante, LaStella, Aviles, and a bunch of guys I’ve never heard of.

    Same question for Chisenhall. I was happy to have him last week but there’s no way he suddenly became Mike Schmidt. Wire options there: Headley, Francisco, Holt, MiniDonkey, Castellanos.

    What are your thoughts on Brock Holt? Seems to me that most years the starting 3b for the Sawx is someone who should be owned, but nobody seems to be buying him..

    You da man, man.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Think you can still sell high on Dee, but not liking your waiver options that much. Maybe you can trade him for a slumping Pedroia or someone is fed up with a lack of power from Cano. Stranger trades have certainly gone down.

      I’m a big Holt fan, but how does he keep this up. Prob stick with Chis although he will regress. I have seen someone trade him for Longo this week though.

      • Abdoozy says:
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        @The Guru: think I might as well hold unless someone makes me an offer I can’t refuse. I’m in first place in this league and don’t want to screw things up too much.

        Although I would like to trade Bruce for a SP but nobody is biting. Just got turned down for Cole and Lackey. Would I be nuts to offer him for Keuchel?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          You are in first just hold.

  16. Joeg414 says:
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    Floyd or Chavez ros? I have both. I have an offer of McGee for Chavez. I need Saves bad. I could attempt to counter with Floyd. Whata think , which one to keep/trade?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ugh, guess I’d keep Chavez because he’s on a better team and in a better park.

      • Joeg414 says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks. I also have Pomeranz , he offered Britton for him. But, is that too much to give up? My other Starters are pretty good ( if Waino is ok). And another great father/son song is Walk like a Man from Springsteen

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Waino is damn good. I’d try Pom for Britton. Good luck and good tune.

  17. Green monster says:
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    Hey guru, love the posts man!
    Keep or drop jay Bruce? I’m pretty deep at OF , I only just added him last week & benched Holliday & Holliday had 2 homers vs Bruce’s 1 homer- but take away the homers the games weren’t really that big.

    We start 4 outfielders & I have Hunter pence, Michael Brantley, george springer, and Bruce locked in now, just started playing polanco at utility this week & have Holliday on the bench. If i do drop Bruce then I’m just putting Holliday in OF spot & I have Bryce Harper coming off DL prob within the next 3-4 weeks.

    If I do drop Bruce here is who I’m looking at; I’d prob bench this waiver add most of the time but as a good insurance for the other positions; staying away from mentioning OF here ; here is who I’m thinking of;

    Nick castellanos (eligible at OF & 3b- 3b is David wright)

    Brock holt

    Martin prado (eligible at OF, & what I like also at 2b & 3b, my 2b is pedroia & have dee Gordon who is eligible at 2b)

    Ben zobrist (eligible at OF , SS & 2b my SS is Alexi Ramirez & have dee Gordon who is eligible at SS)

    Brett lawrie (eligible at 3b & 2b)

    Eric Hosmer (but my 1b is goldschmidnt & I have a lot of players who are eligible at 1b; carlos Santana, Joey votto & Adam Dunn & I use Dunn as my DH)

    Kyle seager

    Lastly aramis Ramirez .

    Thanks guru! Have a great one!
    PS this is for a redraft, h2h points 10 team league from ESPN.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Can you try and tried Bruce for a need? Zobrist is the bench/utility worth owning here.

      • Green monster says:
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        @The Guru:

        Thanks for the response guru!

        Can I try & tried Bruce for a need? By that would you keep or drop Bruce? The category which I could use a boost/help in would be homers/ power besides that I’m close to the top if not in first for categories .

        Thanks again guru

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Personally, I’d hold on Bruce. He could hit 20 homers the rest of the way.

  18. DLed says:
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    drop Arcia for for Fowler

    thaanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I wouldn’t.

  19. JFK says:
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    In a 12-team H2H keeper, received the following offers for Cueto:

    A) Cueto/Matty Carp/Machado/Derek Holland for E5/Kipnis/Homer Bailey/Jonathan Gray;
    B) Cueto for Beltre/Simon
    C)
    D) Cueto/Crush Davis/Balfour (he might take Cueto/Matty Carp/Holland) for Rizzo/Keuchel/Tyson Ross

    Cueto will be an 11th round keeper next season, which is partly why his stock is so high in this league (Keuchel would be a 27th rounder and Ross a 15th rounder).
    Which of these do y’all like best?

    Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Think I like trade A.

  20. Jason E. says:
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    Morales or Napoli the rest of the year? Who is better?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Napoli by a lot.

  21. stonepie says:
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    one of my choo/rios/moss for his price??

    dont need the pitching badly but after picking up hosmer and marte off the waiver i have alot of bats. plus guys like dickerson, beltran, and rajai are on the wire

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Moss.

  22. matt says:
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    Should I drop span for coco or fowler?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Coco.

  23. Bob says:
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    Would your rather own Allan Craig or starling Marte for ROS. Craig’s power stroke is lacking for sure

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Leaning Marte here.

  24. Mello Yello says:
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    Guru can we have a back and forth again about Lonnie Chissenhall again so he has another three homer game? Thaaannnkkksss bud!

    • Mello Yello says:
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      @Mello Yello: Pretty sure that second again didn’t have to be there…and I made a mental note to not use again twice because that sounds stupid…damn you mental notepad

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That was great. I mentioned it on the podcast so I tip my turban to you. Still, I stick by prediction. Now let’s argue about the regression faeries coming for Brock Holt and maybe he’ll stay hot and my Sox can win some freakin games. Ha! Cheers.

      • Mello Yello says:
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        @The Guru: Hey man…our Sox

      • Mello Yello says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks for the shout, just watched it…not quite sure saying a guy is going to hit 18 homers ROS is necessarily enshrining him into Cooperstown though…

        Also Nick’s got self esteem issues…you’re an alright looking guy, get over yourself already haha

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Ha! Had to jazz it up a little for radio in TV.

  25. kronuts says:
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    should i start any of the following tomorrow to start a new h2h weekly matchup?

    ($13.2)McCarthy vs. MIL
    ($12.1)Odorizzi vs. BAL
    ($6.6) R. de la Rosa vs. MIN
    ($0.1)Bauer vs. LAA

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d roll out McCarthy and Odorizzi. dela Rosa is tempting, but he could get shelled too. I have no confidence in Bauer.

      • kronuts says:
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        @The Guru: thanks for the reply! out of the 4, bauer is actually rostered and the other three i’ve been streaming.. do you have no confidence in bauer ROS or just that matchup?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Bauer has talent, but I don’t see him putting it together this year at least.

  26. Tedd says:
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    ROS votto or singleton?
    Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Votto

  27. Black Bart says:
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    Guru-
    That was a fascinating and entertaining recounting of your youth. Just a question. What percentage of that yarn is true? Just a number is sufficient; you don’t need to specify which parts. 85%? 50% 12% “Run, Dad’s home” made me sad and I need to believe in a number less than 100%.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      60% of the time what I write is true every time.

  28. fausto says:
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    Beat the Eric Young drum again or hope Fowler steals?. Id be putting him at util. My of is gomez brantley springer, kemp/crawford platoon. Ozuna is my util guy. Strictly need steals. Or I could try to trade for gordon or Hamilton or altuve. I had 1sb last week.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      The SAGNOF gods are raining on us both. A trade would be nice if your roster can make it happen. I do like Fowler. EYJ is dead to me.

  29. subs81 says:
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    Fowler or Jennings in an ESPn ( OPS) for rest of year??

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Jennings

  30. George Zip says:
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    My pitching is killing my team… does Tavares, Piscotty, Tillman for Bumgarner make sense?

    The team Bum is on is practically out at this point.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Sure

  31. goodfold2 says:
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    were you really a roadie for the screaming trees?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Long story, but yes – for one night.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @The Guru: one night, that could be a very weird story. cool probably though.

Comments are closed.