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Way out east there was this fella… fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Lucas Duda. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Mr. Duda, he called himself “The Dude”. Now, “Dude” – that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from – especially one with a career average of .247. But then there’s a lot about the Dude that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense – including his 12 homers this year. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call New York the “Capital of the World,” a “Modern Gomorrah.” I don’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow there are some nice folks there – excluding Yankee fans. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, ‘cept Tehol. But I’ll tell you what – after seeing New York, and this here jam I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about Duda here. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I’ve done introduced him enough. Now let’s crack a nice sarsaparilla and jam it or cram it.

aadude2

If you’re looking for some bonus jams and crams, check out Razzball Radio.

 

Jam or Cram: Lucas Duda, 1B, New York Mets.

2014 Stats: 226 AB, 29 R, 12 HR, 39 RBI, 2 SB, .252 AV.

Availability: 89% Yahoo, 89% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $5. That’s the same price as a good White Russian.

The Gist: Since Ike Davis left NYC with a band of pirates, Duda has been going all Hot Schmotato. Over his last 100 AB’s, Duda has nine homers, 23 RBI, is batting .320 and slugging .725. Now the Dude can’t hit lefties – just .217 in his career- but his K% is down, the ISO is up and he’ll top his career total for homers by August.

Key Stats: Over the last month, Duda’s OPS is 1.008. Miguel Cabrera’s is .948. Cust kayin’.

The Dude Says:  Yeah, well. The Dude abides.

Jam it or Cram it: Over the last 30 days, Duda is the 11th ranked first baseman ahead of guys like Albert Pujols, Freddie Freeman and David Ortiz. Digging deeper into the numbers there’s nothing that suggests he’s going to suddenly drop off – his batting average on balls in play is .276, the walk rate is up and his weighted on-base percentage is within his career average of .340. If the Duda stays hot he could really tie your whole fake team together. JAM.

 

Jam or Cram: Brad Miller, 2B/SS, Seattle Mariners.

2014 Stats: 226 AB, 29 R, 7 HR, 21 RBI, 3 SB, .208 AV.

Availability: 63% Yahoo, 81% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $0.

The Gist: Coming into the season Miller was one of my sleeper picks and he promptly went right to sleep once the season started by hitting .150 over the first 2 months. However, he’s awakened from his golden slumbers hitting .312 this month. Yes! He also has four home runs, 10 RBI and 14 runs over his last 24 games. Yes!! He’s currently hitting .204. No!!!

Key Stats: B-Mill’s BABIP in June is .350.

The Dude Says: It’s like what Lenin said… you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh…

Jam it or Cram it: I could see a deep league jam, but I think he’s on a bit of a lucky streak. I need to see more than a few weeks of Hot Scmotatoing before I get jam crazy here. Miller will get the Astros and the White Sox this week and that should show us what condition Miller’s condition is in. CRAM.

 

Jam or Cram: C.J. Cron, 1B, Los Angeles Angels.

2014 Stats: 123 AB, 16 R, 8 HR, 22 RBI, 0 SB, .294 AV.

Availability: 83% Yahoo, 92% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $6.

The Gist: I’m liking the C&C Hitting Factory there in Anaheim with Cron and Kole Calhoun. We jammed Calhoun recently, now let’s toss Cron into the Jammer Crammer Machine© and see what it spits out. Cron is getting an increase in playing time with 79-year-old Raul Ibanez getting the boot. C.J. doesn’t seem to mind, he’s livin’ it up in the Hotel California with 4 homers in his last 17 AB’s.

Key Stats: Cron hit 27 homers just two years ago in the minors.

The Dude Says: I hate the f***in’ Eagles, man.

Jam it or Cram it: Cron reminds me of Mark Trumbo with less power, less injuries, less K’s and higher average. Cron’s hitting close to .300 and while that prob won’t hold (I mean he has just four walks in 120 at bats), he’s worth owning if you need homers. Friday night he went double dong on the Royals then peed on their rug. JAM.

 

Jam or Cram: Jarrod Dyson, OF, Kansas City Royals.

2014 Stats: 127 AB, 17 R, 1 HR, 10 RBI, 12 SB, .301 AV.

Availability: 98% Yahoo, 99% ESPN.

FAAB $$$ Value: $0.

The Gist: With Aoki hitting the DL, Dyson’s going to get a lot more playing time – especially against right-handers. The ownership is very low so we are talking a cheap pick up here. Over the last week, he’s hitting .375 and has 2 steals – he also hit a homer and knocked in 3 runs. On the season Dyson is hitting over .300 and has 12 steals in 16 attempts.

Key Stats: Dyson has nearly 80 steals over his last 240 games – only 11 players have more.

The Dude Says: That creep can roll, man.

Jam it or Cram it: You’re not going to get homers and you’re not going to get RBI, but if Dyson can up that OBP just a bit – he’s at about .350 right now – that’ll mean he’s on base and that’s where the magic happens. SAGNOF! JAM.

 

**BONUS TRACKS**

Scooter Gennett, 2B, MIL: Scooter was our Jam of the Week last Sunday. Did you add him? No? Too bad because he went 7-for-18 with two homers and seven RBI. JAM.

Carlos Pena, 1B/DH, TEX: Has your season finally come to this? CRAM. But, he’d look great on my softball team. Carlos, call me.

Mike Zunino, C, SEA: Four homers in six games makes for Hot Schmotato time!  JAM.

Mookie Betts, OF, BOS: Mookie got the call Saturday after he hit .345 between Double-A and Triple-A this year. Now this dude writing here is a Red Sox fan and my expectations are as low as Jackie Bradley Jr.’s batting average.CRAM.

Matt Shoemaker, SP, LAA: Did you see the Royals put the boots to him Friday night? Know what Walter Sobchak would say? “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!” CRAM.

 

 Now pour me a White Russian and stalk me on Twitter @TheGuruGS or I’ll cut off your chonson.  One day I will only communicate in “Big Lebowski” quotes. Also, check out my blog for more dirty turbaned nonsense. 

  1. Jay

    Jay says:
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    That rug really tied the room together.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Shut the f**k up, Donny!

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @The Guru: Obviously you’re not a golfer.

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          This aggression will not stand, man.

          • Joe says:
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            How you gonna keep her down on the farm once she’s seen Karl Hungus??!

    • Mp29k says:
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      @Jay:
      Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here!

      Eight year olds, dude.

  2. Ty says:
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    Say it ain’t so! I was hoping to get some positive mookie vibes from you argh.. I dropped a cram (miller) for a cram (betts)

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Can we blame the cram on Bobby Valentine?

  3. Tehol Beddict says:
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    do you know what the difference between jelly and jam is?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Your mom does.

  4. TJ says:
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    Am I crazy for wanting to finally cut bait on Hosmer? Would you dump him for Duda or Cron?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I feel your pain, but I wouldn’t drop him yet.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Classic! Please memorize that monologue and perform it outside of Denny’s.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @The Guru:…but the Starbucks crowd will miss my performances

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          They do not deserve Conan! They deserve, maybe, something from “Running Man.”

          • J-FOH says:
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            @The Guru: sometimes when I perform Conan I break into the Running Man to close it out

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Get Jay with you and you two could do a musical of “Twins.”

              • J-FOH says:
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                @The Guru: As a resident of California I take offense to that

  5. Lemmingness says:
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    Weekly points league,

    Calhoun or JD Martinez?
    Does Cain’s decent start yesterday mean he’s still worth holding onto?
    Lastly, Gallardo or Leake? Gallardo killing my team yet again…

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Calhoun.
      Hold on Cain.
      Freakin’ Gallardo. He’s dead to me.

      Cheers, Lemmingness.

  6. Zar says:
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    Looks like your fellow writers are trolling the posts guru.

    I need some pitching help, I think my bats are doing fine, especially once Joe bats and the heavy CarGo are both healthy again. I’m guessing you like Duda more than cron since your article leads with Duda.

    I have Sanchez, Gonzalez, Buehrle, Gray, Lincecum, Hudson, Heaney, Keuchel. Are any of them droppable for Cain?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Hey Zar. Thanks for Razzballin’.

      They mean it with love.

      I like both, but The Duda abides!

      Lots of folks high on Heaney. I’m not buying this year, unless I’m just streaming him. Get Cain.

      • Zar says:
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        @The Guru: Well now I got Sandoval, Pence, Hudson, Lincecum, Cain, and Casilla. >> I don’t follow the giants I promise….

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Is Jack Clark available?

          • Zar says:
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            @The Guru: No, but I hear Dusty Baker is!

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Niiiccce!

  7. Paz says:
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    Romo out, Casilla and Affeldt in

    would you pick up Casilla over the likes of Joe Smith or Cody Allen?

    • Zar says:
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      @Paz: Thanks Paz! Didn’t see the news, but you got me a good jump on Casilla :D.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Closepocalypse! I’ll take Smith. For now.

  8. The Wizard of Oz(una) says:
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    Pick 2 ROS: Calhoun, Butler, Ozuna?

    Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Sorry Wiz, but it’s Calhoun and Billy for me.

      • The Wizard of Oz(una) says:
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        @The Guru: Hmmm, quite the predicament. I take it you’d hold Dickerson and Polanco over all of them?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          I’m not a big Dickerson fan. I’d rather have Kole. Don’t you dare drop Polanco! You will anger the fantasy gods.

          • Kole Blooded / AKA: The Wizard of Oz(una) says:
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            @The Guru: Dropped Ozuna for Calhoun. Why low on Dickerson?

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              At-bats concern me and so does his .400 BABIP. Me thinks he’s been pretty lucky lately.

  9. stonepie says:
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    would you cut willingham for either calhoun or duda?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I would for Calhoun.

  10. mindicohn says:
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    Love the stranger in the alps ref!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Buy me a drink! Ha! Thanks, Natalie.

  11. SMLV1 says:
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    My Choo and Wright for his Puig and Sandoval?

    Stanton, Rios, Springer, Polanco and Moss 1B/OF are my other OFs. We only start 3 but I have 2 Util spots.

    Rest of team – Molina, Goldy, Dozier, Andrus and Rizzo

  12. Moosebiscuit says:
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    “Those rich F’s! This whole F’n thing!”

    Chris Davis….Drop or drop?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Nice work, Moose and hold on Davis.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      The Guru don’t roll on shabbas.

  13. Green monstah says:
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    Howdy guru!

    What’s the word w/ David wright? I’m hearing he could still miss DL, other reports saying he may head to DL, even if he doesn’t land on the DL are you sitting him this week? It’s a weekly lock league everything will be locked first game tomowrow , I have Carlos Santana at DH , I could move Santana from DH to 3b & move wright to bench, if that’s case I’ll need to find a DH to plug in/ my team could use power so far today no homers & atleast one or two other games this week for my team. I do have an open spot not worried about dropping anyone; looking into CJ cron , Adam Lind , & Adam Dunn but leaning to the jam of cron what are your thoughts on this?

    Thanks & have a great week guru master!

    • Green monstah says:
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      @Green monstah:

      Sorry forgot to mention about my outfielders, if everything is true looks like Harper should be activated from DL tomowrow or tues, if that’s the case I’m starting him, I’ll need to bump someone to the bench if that’s the case;

      We start 4, if Harper is activated it’ll be Harper, pence, springer & jay Bruce & polanco at utility- I currently have Brantley in there too but if I’m starting Harper looks like Brantley is the odd man out this week? I could put Brantley at utility over polanco. On bench I have Matt Holliday.

      This is also 10 team h2h points/ re draft

      Thanks again

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        I’d sit Springer for Harper *crosses fingers* as they Harper will be activated.

        The nws on Wright is good and bad. He does not need surgery, but he’ll evaluated again Monday. I don’t trust playing him this week. Cron would be my add.

  14. Chris says:
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    Hey Guru good stuff I hope you never stop writing on Sundays!

    A few questions for you today.

    1. It sounds like Keuchel is playing this week have your heard any different?
    2.Is Mcgee a good start this week for TB?
    3. Also if you think I should start Mcgee please pick 1 of the following, if you don’t think I should plz pick 2, Mcgee is my only closer other than Hunter.

    Eovaldi @stl
    Dice K @atl
    Morton vs ari

    Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Not sure I trust Keuchel or his wrist this week. Roll McGee out there and let’s hope he gets some saves. Think I’d stream Morton.

    • Chris says:
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      Thanks! My staff is hurting, is Whitley done? He has the twins next!

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Think you can do better.

  15. Oppo Taco says:
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    whos the drop for mookie betts, gausmann or jesse chavez? thanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Oh, a Mookie believer, cool. Kind of a coin flip there with the SP. Prob keep Chavez- weaker division, better ball park.

  16. Jamiehov says:
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    Great read as always.

    Impatient owner in my league just dropped Kipinis. I have Cram Jam fav Scooter at the moment. Should I drop Scooter for Kipinis. I know Scooter doesn’t play everyday but he produces like an every day AND it’s a roto league where I’m hurting in AVG. 3 weeks ago this would have been a no brainer but I’ve really enjoyed having Scooter

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks, Jamie! As much as I love my Scooter you HAVE to grab Kipnis.

  17. Tim says:
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    Great posts man, simple Q; need to start 1 for this week; Jake Arrieta (2 start @ bos & @ Washington) or another 2 start pitcher Matt latos (@ SD & vs brewers) I’ve been going back/forth
    Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thanks, Tim. Really like Arrieta, but Latos has the better matchups.

  18. hanklongball says:
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    Guru,

    Betts or Bogaerts ROS?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      X-Man!

      • Hanklongball says:
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        @The Guru: Xander Bogaerts treats objects like women, man…

  19. Shawn of the walken dead says:
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    I have keuchel in as my RP, his wrist injury kind of scares me- I’d hate to drop him though but if I do it’s for Danny Duffy who has two starts

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d hold for now.

  20. Pennypacker says:
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    Jason Grilli < Burning bag of feces…
    Im I right in this analogy or is there room for improvement in LA?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I agree. The Grill cheese is toast.

  21. Brett says:
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    Guru

    Need to cut a pitcher for Harper coming off the dl. Who do you cut? 12 team 6×6 ops holds extra categories daily

    Staff: Strasberg bailey verlander gray Beckett Ross Heaney clippard grilli joe smith melancon mejia rosenthal

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Miejia or Heaney.

  22. asdfasdf says:
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    Would you start Fister vs. COL or Bailey vs. MIL next week? I was going with Fister until Bailey’s shutout today. Thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Nice problem to have. Thinks it’s about even, but looks like Homer has turned it around.

      • asdfasdf says:
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        @The Guru: Yeah, it’s a tough one. I guess I’ll go with Bailey since Fister isn’t striking anyone out and Bailey is coming off of a shutout. Thank you for your help

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          No prob. Bailey did look great today.

  23. Brett says:
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    Liriano worth stashing or save my faab?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Liriano is dead to me.

  24. Sparty Scott says:
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    Revere or James Jones for steals ROS? Is Lorenzo Cain more valuable than either even though he’s not stealing bases right now?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Revere. Think he’s got 15-20 steals to go ROS.

  25. needtomakemoves says:
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    pujols or jordan zimmerman. i have 3 first basement and pujols is the worst, can only start two. he just wastes away on my bench

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      If he’s wasting away on your bench make the deal.

  26. matt says:
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    10 team keeper league i was offered Brandon moss, Michael wacha his 7th rounder for my carlos gomez and 4th rounder. What do you think?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d probably pass.

  27. Jiggy Nits says:
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    Owings down and I’m in a real rough spot in my NL only ROTO 5×5

    pick ONE: Tejada, Gregorius, Joe Panik, Nick Ahmed

    we play WALKS instead of RUNS… so I’m temped to grab Tejada (33BB’s on the season). Who do you like on this list, and is it close?

    Thanks.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Oh man, tough one. Give Tejada a shot.

  28. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    i’m halfway through this and that’s a LOT of Lebowski quotes, nice. i had a friend who when he was in high school lived in the basement, and his parents were too fat to come down there to check on how many people were down there smoking stuff. it was a popular hangout of course. he literally left that movie on for about 2 years. when it would end he’d rewind and play it again. 17-20 year olds dude, it’s all i’m saying.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I think I was there! Is Kenny still down there?

  29. costaricanchata says:
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    finally caught up on all the tv/radio/podcasts .
    you’re the show-stealer .

    better cool it with the mookie reality discussions .
    summer ain’t half over
    and lots of angry tourists headed up your way .

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ha! Nobody rooting harder for Mookie. Saw him play in Portland and he’s legit, but these Bawston better pump the breaks a little. He’s not going to save the season.

  30. Poiuhb815@aol.com says:
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    Ok so is it Betts or Lind for the week?
    5×5
    Need R and SB so it would seem Betts BUT.. What if Lind is playing every day this week and betts is not?
    Which way to go????

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Lind gets 3 lefties this week. Yuck. May have to give the rookie a go.

  31. RW says:
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    what kind duz yers fin2B?

    Popular Turbans

    Sikh Turban
    Well, turban has a lot of reverence and significance in the Sikh religion. People who join the Khalsa Panth are forbidden to cut their hair. Sikh men wear turban so as to manage their long hair. In the Sikh religion, the turban is known as dastar, which is considered to be a very respectful Punjabi word.

    Rajasthani Turbans
    Rajasthan is a very big state exhibiting a wide diversity. In Rajasthan, as you travel from one city to another, you’ll find men wearing absolutely different turbans. In Rajasthan, the turban is known as pagri or safa. There are certain parts in Rajasthan, where the size of turban is evocative to the position and status of the person in society.

    Mysori Turbans
    In the districts of Kodagu and Mysore, turban is known as Mysore peta. Here, the is considered to be a source of pride. Notable personalities are honored by presenting them the Mysore peta. This in itself is suggestive of the fact as to how much significance the turban has for the people in Mysore. In the district of Kodagu, men team their ethnic dress with a turban on the celebration of special occasions.

    Turbans in Muslim Community
    In Islamic religion, wearing turban is considered customary. Muslims call turban “imamah”. Most of the scholars in Muslim countries wear turban. Thus, it is considered an important headdress amongst the Muslims. Infact, even the men of honor and other eminent persons in the Muslim community wear turbans.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s a dirty turban.

      Dirty turban
      Worn to hide bed head. In some circles the dirty turban is something that takes place in the men’s room with your lady i.e. see urban dictionary. Durka durka.

  32. Mike says:
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    Price or Baumgartner ROS??

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s close, but probably leaning Price. Especially if he gets traded to a contender.

  33. Mike says:
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    Would u trade polanco and jd Martinez for either Price or Baumgartner??
    I need a starter
    Thx!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Not in a keeper league. If you’re set with hitters I could see doing that.

  34. Steve says:
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    Just traded jd Martinez and Frankie rod for David price
    Makes sense??
    Thx
    Had plenty of saves

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      If you needed a starter yeah me likey. Nice job cashing in on a hot bat like JD.

  35. Andre says:
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    Thinking about making a trade for more starting pitching….but it would require me to give up my primary first basemen Matt Adams. Who would be a better replacement? CJ Cron, Lucas Duda, James Loney….or (bc of positional flexibility) Eric Aybar, CoCo Crisp, or Marlon Byrd?

    10 team, keeper league, counting stats are Hits, HR, RBI, Average, Steals, and Runs

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Prolly go with Coco.

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