Ozzie Guillen said Jake Peavy “has some things with his arm.” You know how know-it-alls put (sic) to indicate the quote’s error is not the transcriber’s error? They should adopt this for major league managers. “Has some things with his arm (Ozzie).” “Mathis just knows how to play the game BETTER! (Scioscia)” “That’s not old school, that’s good school. That’s the way you play the game unless you want to put some rouge and makeup and lipstick on. (Manuel)” So Peavy has some things with his arm. Yeah, that’s not a good sign. That’s like my friend who was trying to sell me a car. “It just hasn’t been started in over a year.” I put Peavy in the “Avoid” tier in the preseason because he’s been too injured the last few seasons. What’s he now? Injured. Thank you, your Honor. I rest my case. I’d look to sell Peavy. Unfortunately, no one’s buying him. Right now, the Sox are only talking about moving his next start, but it’s not a good sign either way. Or eithurrrr if Mystikal’s reading to you. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Resop – Off to the DL. The Disgraceful List is when a player’s DL’d for sucking. But what’s it called when the player forces a team to promote them due to a contract issue and then is DL’d because the club just doesn’t want the player? Disagreement List? Disaccord List? Dis Team Has No Room For You List?
Shelley Duncan – Hit his 2nd homer in two games. Unfortunate for anyone who had to high five him afterwards.
Tommy Hunter – Left the game with some hip flexor discomfort. Pretty sneaky of Coghlan to step up to the plate with “The Twist” playing.
Julio Borbon – 2-for-4 with his 1st homer, now batting .285 to Andrus’ .288. Give him the green light!
Brandon Wood – 1-for-3 as he played shortstop for Izturis, who went to the DL with a strained forearm. If Wood hits and if he gets shortstop eligibility and one more if you’ll have a full house. If’s over and’s.
Jon Niese – 7 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. Looks like Niese has put his feud with Heather B completely behind him. He’s pitching well and he has home games in Metco yadda3, I’d grab him.
Fred Lewis – 4-for-5 with his 5th steal as Jose Bautista sat. The Bautista who is hitting .194 with 5 homers since I said you should sell him a month ago. In April, Bautista had 4 homers. In May, he hit 12 homers. In June, he has 2 homers. You tell me which month looks off. Oh, and sorry to Fred Lewis for hogging his blurb with Bautista info.
Ricky Romero – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks and a 3.08 ERA on the year. I don’t want to lose people with K/9 or anything so here… Romero has 96 Ks in 96 1/3 innings. Thing. Of. Beauty. Yes, I brought out the douchey one word sentences for emphasis.
John Buck – 2-for-4 with his 12th homer. BUCK!
Scott Baker – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks. A Baker’s dozen! Wait, that’s not right. Eh, whatever. Baker just about reached the point where I was going to tell people to lose him everywhere so he really needed this start. I don’t think he’s completely out of the woods, but he’s in a better place than he was after his last start.
Joe Mauer – 0-for-3, hitting .311 with 2 homers on the year. Cust kayin’.
Jaime Garcia – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. First time in a while his line looks like he should have got the Win and what happens? Gets the loss for the first time since May 8th. It’s the chutzpah of Wins.
Brennan Boesch – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs, his 9th homer as he bats .344 on the year. Who’s been more valuable, Boesch or Holliday? Yup.
Don Kelly – 0-for-4, ye of a .217 average and .276 OBP hit leadoff. Your internal monologue, “Why, Grey, I do not understand?” Because Kelly played center and Leyland only has one lineup card.
Jose Tabata – Hit his first major league homer yesterday. I’m fingercuffed to him and it feels so good. Then not good. Then good again.
Matt Lindstrom – Got the save. Guess his back is, um, back. Lyon hasn’t been bad so I’m holding him for now where I have room.
David DeJesus – 10 for his last 13. For DeJesus’ next trick, he’s going to walk on water. The downside is there isn’t much upside.
Mike Leake – 6 IP, 5 ER, 12 baserunners, 4 Ks. About three weeks ago, I was saying he was going to fall back to earth then for the last two weeks after that I’ve been reminding you that I was saying Leake was going to fall back to earth three weeks ago. I don’t think he’s all the way back to earth yet either.
Manny Ramirez – 3rd homer in his last seven games and 2nd homer in last two games. After the homer, he got back in the dugout and Casey Blake iced him.
Clayton Kershaw – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 8 baserunners, but only 1 walk. Look at Kershaw only walking three hitters in his last two starts. Oh, and he has 97 Ks in 85 IP. Nasty.
Livan Hernandez – 6 2/3 IP, 8 ER, 13 baserunners, 2 Ks. What did this fat guy who can only throw 82 MPH do with the other fat guy who can only throw 82 MPH?
Aubrey Huff – 3-for-4 with his 4th homer in the last six games. Keeps going like this and he may get a “Huffing Along” post title.
Tim Lincecum – 6 IP, 2 ER, 12 baserunners, 10 Ks. Was hit by a comebacker and removed from the game. Lincecum should be fine for his next start. In a weird voodoo doll-type way, when Lincecum was hit, k.d. lang said, “Ouch.”
Pablo Sandoval – Giants trainer said Sandoval needs to be more disciplined about his eating habits. Earth to ESPN, this is a reality show! Watch Kung Fu Panda go to the beach and refuse to take off his shirt. Watch as Kung Fu Panda says no to Kung Pao Chicken and yes to calisthenics. Watch Kung Fu Panda go shopping for clothes. “No, Renteria, I can’t fit into these Dockers. I’m bloated!”