Robinson Cano hit his third and fourth homer yesterday. He’s now batting .395. This will probably sound homeless-person-crazy since we’re only 12 days into the young season, but I think Cano could win the MVP and will win the batting title. You thought Pedroia’s MVP season was nice from a fantasy standpoint? How’s .330 and 30 homers coming from your 2nd baseman? You like that? What, you want it a little higher? Okay, how’s .335? Yeah, that feels good, doesn’t it? I have Cano’s 2010 projections at 90/27/100/.315/5. Hold those numbers up to the light and they sing gospel songs that will make your ears smile. And Cano can exceed those numbers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Gonzalez – CarGo sounds like he’ll be shipped off to the DL. I’m officially a bad person because I’d be happy to see him get DL’d since I don’t own him anywhere. Hey, Glockenspiel, what’s that speck on the map of Grey’s soul? It’s a tiny city-state. What’s the city-state called, Glockenspiel? It’s called Schadenfreude! This will mean more time for Seth Smith. He’ll be covered more in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. Keep refreshing. It’ll appear.
Bud Norris – 5 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks. It’s been said Chuck Norris could win at Connect Four in 3 moves. Well, Bud Norris can strike out 9 in 5 innings (albeit using 100 pitches and walking 3 or 4).
Mat Latos – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners. See Jorge de la Rosa or an inch above. Seriously, throw these three and Gio Gonzalez into a blender and you have one messy WHIP. I like Ks, but at what price?
Astros Hitters – As a team, the Astros have 2 homers through 9 games. Someone should take some egg whites and fold them into the Nats. Two birds, one lemon meringue pie. Even if Ed Wade’s toupee were pitching against the Astros, I’d start it in mixed leagues.
Carlos Zambrano – 5 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners. Eh, Big Z’s a mediocre pitcher pitching mediocre, so not much to say, but he did make me think of something. Member the Lil’ Penny Nike campaign? Of course you do. Put down your Razzhand. Okay, so my question is why is there no Lil’ Z to go with Big Z? We need a claymation expert, stat! Lil’ Z can be on top of the Gatorade while Big Z’s flipping out. “Look at you, the big bad man beating up a lemon-lime container! Now everyone’s thirsty! Sweet Lou’s gonna get sour! You big dummy!” Hmm… My Lil’ Z sounds a bit like Redd Foxx, but we can work on that.
Derrek Lee – Returned and homered. That is all.
Scott Kazmir – 4 IP, 6 ER. I’m sure his owners are happy to have him back.
Casey McGehee – 1-for-3 with his third homer. He’s in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, too. Yes, I am pimping it a bit because there’s an announcement in there you’re gonna wanna read.
Mike Gonzalez – He’s now going to be out about a month. My guess is Jim Johnson is getting saves still at the end of May.
Adam LaRoche – Sat out with a tight quad. That’s what she said! Hey, that made more sense this time.
Chad Qualls – Second blown save in a row. Juan Gutierrez is the backup for you save vultures. I already grabbed him in two leagues.
Daric Barton – 2-for-5 as he hits .343 on the year. He has little power, but you can do worse in OBP leagues.
Shin-Soo Choo – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs with his third homer. I own him in one league and you know what? Loving Choo is easy cause you’re beautiful.
David Huff – 9 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. There’s some pitchers you grab, there’s other pitchers you let others grab. Huff falls in the latter group, but could move to the former. His 2008 K-rate and walk rate were decent in Triple-A, but he lost all those gains last year. Worth watching to see if he can string some starts together, but I have my doubts.
Matt Harrison – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks. His minor league K-rate is pretty bleh. I wouldn’t bother outside of AL-Only leagues.
Elvis Andrus – 1-for-3, hitting leadoff. This will mean less Runs for Borbon, but as long as he’s getting on base and stealing them, I wouldn’t worry. I think I predicted Andrus would move to the top of the order by the middle of April. Natch! Actually, the prediction might’ve been for Alcides, but he’s moved up for some games, as well. Natch point!
Cameron Maybin – 3-for-4 and a homer as he hits .310 on the year with 2 steals. Looks like Maybin may be in (stutterer!) for a breakout.
Josh Johnson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks. His porn star brother, Gosh Johnson, would be proud.
Alexei Ramirez – Homered yesterday. It is still early, and he usually doesn’t start playing until May, but I’m not sure how much I believe you’re ever going to fully enjoy owning Alexei.
Travis Snider – Hallelujah! Snider hit a homer yesterday. I still think he could go back to striking out every fifth AB. The potential is there though.
J.A. Happ – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 BBs as sabermetricians cry onto their calculators. Here’s a clean BABIP, wipe those tears away.
Ian Desmond – 2-for-4, and a steal as he batted second. Man, that was long overdue. I hope we’re not heading down FeLopezian territory where every time I think about dropping Desmond he does just enough to buy himself some more time.
Ryan Zimmerman – After sitting out the last couple, he snuck into the game for a pinch hit homer. Yeah, you got sonavabenched. It’s all right, so did I with…
Francisco Liriano – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. Sonavabench! But he was going against the Red Sox! He gave up 5 BBs to the White Sox in his last start. It was the right call to bench him for the Red Sox. Why do you hate me fantasy baseball gods? Is it because I don’t capitalize gods? Was it my crack about Jim Abbot two months ago? I apologize to you and commenter, IowaCubs. Please, embrace me again! The rain makes me shiver. Don’t let me shiver. Okay, thanks for letting me vent. Liriano goes against the Indians next time out. Yes, please. Though, he could go against the 1927 Yankees featuring a 2001 time traveling Barry Bonds and I’d start Liriano. I’ve learned my lesson!
Jacoby Ellsbury – Can’t breath without sharp pain in his side. Obviously, not a good thing. He may end up *pinkie to mouth* D’Ellsburied.
Edwin Encarnacion – Will be out a few days with a sore arm. If only he were a bigger star, so I could’ve used the title, “Clipped Edwing.”
Jose Guillen – Revealed yesterday that he almost died in 2009. The Royals had the day off and Guillen’s not hitting homers, so he reveals this? Sounds like someone might be getting addicted to the press coverage. This is how Heidi Montag started. Before you know it, Butler won’t be the only one with a size C rack.