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In the summer of 1937, a woman went into labor.  This woman’s name was Alfonsa Soriano.  She was 78 years old at the time and the doctors worried she wouldn’t be able to deliver a healthy baby and she risked her own safety.  The baby and the mother made it through.  Unfortunately, due to her age, her skin wasn’t as elastic as a woman half her age and she walked the rest of her life like she was just jumping hurdles.  Her son, Alfonso Soriano, adopted her long gait — a way to pay homage? — and it helped him later in life.  He said because of his long strides, he made sneakers last twice as long because he used half the number of steps as most people.  Heartwarming.  Also, heartwarming is his insane season.  Yesterday, he hit two more homers to bring his season total up to 32 and he now sits at 98 RBIs and 79 runs.  Yeah, you were counting on that when you drafted him in the last round of your drafts, or as a late $1 flyer.  Look away for the next moment if you don’t own him:  on our Player Rater, he’s the 6th best outfielder!  In front of him, Chris Davis, Mike Trout, Adam Jones, Andrew McCutchen and Jacoby Ellsbury.  Right after Soriano?  Carlos Gonzalez!  Absolute-Lee-Eff-In-Cray-Zee.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mark Reynolds – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer.  In hindsight, it seems obvious he would’ve hit a homer against the weak sister, Miguel Gonzalez, and the Hitter-Tron more or less agreed.  Tron also loves him on Thursday and loves how hot his stainless steel oven makes him, even when it’s off.

Chris Davis – 2-for-2, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 49th homer.  That’s two behind club record 51 homers by Brady Anderson.  “I’d just like to say…Dah, they’re uneven!”  That’s Brady Anderson practicing his Orioles’ single season home run record concession speech as he examines his sideburns in a mirror.

Matt Harvey – Optimistic he can avoid surgery.  Ugh, the Mets are Mr. Bungling someone’s career.  Someone needs to sit Harvey down and have a heart-to-heart to tell him to just have the surgery.  Where’s Stefanie Powers when you need her?

Justin Turner – 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI but left yesterday’s game grabbing at his hamstring.  Right there.  In front of everyone!  Just grabbing at it.  Sicko!

Dillon Gee – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Actually pitched better than his final line and better than Zimmermann; he just made a few mistakes and the Nats bats are hot(s)…Dah, an almost rhyme!  Why do you mock me, Rhyming Gods?!

Matt den Dekker – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 3rd steal in only ten games.  You know what this is, boys and four girls?  A player digging in and getting dirty as he tries to prove why he should be a starter next year.  I like it for deeper leagues if you’re struggling to find a hot bat.

Bryce Harper – Expects to return on Wednesday, which becomes Hump Your Fantasy Team Day for his owners.

Jayson Werth – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs.  Member what I said in Gee’s blurb?  No, of course you don’t.  You have the worst memory since…Eh, I don’t know since when, I have to remember everything?  Werth’s scorching everything he sees right now, leading the stacked Nats attack — another almost rhyme?  Nooooo!!!

Adam LaRoche – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 19th homer.  Also looks like he’s locked in.  (BTW, I watched the Gee start because Rudy has him and I wanted to root against him.  Natch!)

Jordan Zimmermann – 5 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks in Metco.  Here’s what I wrote prior to him giving up the last two runs, “He just didn’t look right last night, but he still put together a solid start.”  Here’s what I wrote after he gave up the last two runs…

Jacoby Ellsbury – Scott Boras said Ellsbury would be ready for the playoffs.  He also said, “Why can’t I see my reflection in this mirror?”  For those not so great at reading between the lines, Ellsbury won’t be contributing again this regular season and Scott Boras has no soul.

Clay Buchholz – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, but I missed the start because Yahoo doesn’t allow DL players to come off the day of.  All the fantasy providers have their issues, but this alone has to be the stupidest.  What is the point of this?  Does this heighten my fantasy game experience?  It just makes me crazy!

David Price – 8 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks vs. the Red Sox.  It’s time for no one’s favorite game but mine, What Has Price Done Since I Traded Machado For Him?  In 106 2/3 IP, Price’s line is 7 wins, 2.78 ERA, 0.93 WHIP and 83 Ks.  Yup.

Jonathan Villar – 2-for-5, 3 runs and a slam (1) and double helping of legs (15, 16).  Now has five steals in the last eight games.  I immediately went to pick him up when I saw his line from yesterday, but I missed him to someone else by about thirty minutes, because I was watching Low Winter Sun (don’t bother if you haven’t started).  If Villar is out there for you and you need steals, I’d grab him.

Jose Altuve – 3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and 3 steals (33, 34, 35), and hitting close to .500 in September.  Last night, Momma Altuve moved the umbrella stand by her front door, bent over and kissed Altuve’s growth chart mark for when he turned eighteen.

Hunter Pence – 4-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 20th homer.  One more home run and he can stop walking around with tissue boxes for shoes.

Michael Cuddyer – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers (19, 20).  I’m glad he didn’t get hurt this year any more than his one usual 15-day DL stint, but I kinda wish he did so I’d have more reason to bitch about the Rockies playing Helton at first base when they could’ve been saving Cuddyer from needless work on defense.

Justin Upton – Left yesterday’s start after fouling a ball off his knee.  He’s day-to-day with a bruise.  That’s what Justin’s up to.

Julio Teheran – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks and was removed after 111 pitches.  By the end, he looked about as gassed as Chris Farley by the end of an SNL sketch.  I think Fredi Gonzalez bought stock in the NASDAQ company, DRJA.

Evan Gattis – 2-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  It’s hard to not like him.  Not because he lived for two years off of cheese he found in the inside of discarded pizza boxes, but because of how he swings a bat.  He’s also hitting near-.340 in the last week with three homers.

Matt Kemp – Don Mattingly expects Kemp back this season.  When a reporter told Mattingly there’s less than three weeks left, Mattingly said, “I thought it was April because without my mustache I’m an idiot.”

Tony Cingrani – 1 2/3 IP, 2 ER, but left the game with back spasms.  This could mean Cueto gets put back in the rotation.  I wouldn’t want any part of either of them right now.  Too much riding on fantasy pennant chases to be risking it.  Yes, that means I think the Reds’ pennant hopes are less important than your fantasy leagues.

Donnie Murphy – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer.  He has a hit in eight of the last ten games and two homers in that time.  If you ask me if you should pick him up, I will say no.

Welington Castillo – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and two homers (5, 6).  Hey, Welington, there’s the beouf!

Junior Lake – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 4th steal.  I love me some Junior Lake, but the Cubs are crumby with crackers and not playing him every day so you need to platoon him.  No, I have no idea why they’re not playing him.

Edwin Jackson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks vs. the Reds.  The Stream-o-Nator likes his next start vs. the Pirates more than I do because I don’t like it at all.

Zach McAllister – 5 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks vs. the Royals.  Well, he sure seemed like a safe stream.  It would’ve been safer to tell John Luther that I’m holding his girlfriend captive.

Alcides Escobar – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer.  Weird day yesterday for power, and my RCL benefited from it, having Rajai, Alcides and Aybar.  Oddly enough, I’m trying for steals and I keep getting homers.  It’s starting to feel like a charmed season for me.  Wait, did I just jinx myself?  How do I reverse that?  Where’s Lisa Bonet and her voodoo when you need her?

Andrew Cashner – 7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks in Philly.  I’ll say it for you, sonavabench!  If you did start him, I have some burning matches for you to play with.  I wouldn’t trust Cashner and his 4.61 road ERA (prior to this start), which is pertinent because he goes to Pittsburgh next, if I’m using the word pertinent correctly.

Jedd Gyorko – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI as he hits out of the three hole in the Padres lineup, which is the eight hole in the Tigers lineup.  This week, Gyorko is hitting around .150 and he punched a guy in the nose when the guy addressed Gyorko by his last name.

Chase Headley – 3-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  Elias Sports Bureau said the three combined RBIs by Headley and Gyorko in yesterday’s game was a new team record.

Rene Rivera – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs.  After the game, he returned to his job as riverboat croupier.  Who the hell is Rene Rivera?!  Watch out, folks, the Padres are letting their prospects play.  A snarky person would’ve put quotes around prospects.  An even snarkier person would point that out.

Roy Halladay – Start pushed back because he has the flu.  Stay in the hotel room and order a movie.  Only thing you can do when you get the flu on Halladay.

Tyler Cloyd – 4 IP, 7 ER.  Peg Boy.

Cody Asche – 1-for-3 with his 5th homer, and third homer this week, i.e., his third homer since I told you to pick him up.  Grey hearts Asche.

Josh Willingham – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and two homers (13, 14).  He’s hitting .207 on the year, and has done nothing to warrant picking him up all year, but I’d be like a cyclops with a monocle with him in case he gets hot in these final weeks.

Rick Porcello – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I gotta laugh with Porcello.  He strikes out a bunch of hitters, and gets me excited, then he goes out, gets mollywhopped and looks lost, giving up earned runs.  Then, he stops striking guys out and throws up a complete game.  *shrugs*  You got me Porcello, I’m officially perplexed.  You are a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle of clouds and I have five empty slots and only four pieces left.  Porcello, are you under the couch?

Prince Fielder – 4-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer.  I just had a beautiful thought, Rajai, the King of SAGNOF, adopts Prince.  Not because he’s fast, but because Prince needs a father figure.  I just don’t want to see Rajai let Prince sit on his lap.

Alex Avila – 4-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting over .350 in the last week, but he’s not even the everyday catcher.  It’s like a 70/30 split with The Spanish Donkey, Brayan Pena.

Shelby Miller – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.05.  He gets the Mariners, Brewers and Nats in his final three starts, and if I were the Cards, I’d shut him down after the Mariners start.  I say that as a Shelby keeper owner.  Please don’t ruin him for 2014!

Matt Adams – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI.  I picture Fatt Adams playing baseball in a Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts.  Am I the only one?

Colby Rasmus – Possibly returning this week.  That’s also the answer to, did Colby Rasmus get hurt or retire?

Edwin Encarnacion – Sat out yesterday with a sore wrist.  Ugh.  He’s not the type to sit out over the slightest of ailments, so this could be something of concern.  I’m forming a prayer decagon that he’s okay.

Mark Buehrle – 4 IP, 8 ER.  He gave up three homers, but said afterwards, “All three were catchable by Dewayne Wise.”

Rajai Davis – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer.  It’s amazing the King of SAGNOF could even get around on pitches cloaked in a velvet robe.

Anthony Gose – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer.  Ball was traveling pretty well in Toronto for guys without a lick of power (Erick Aybar also homered in this game).  They must all be living in fear of Rajai.  “I will have Kevin Pillar slap you with my glove.”  That’s Rajai as he eats caviar with chopsticks, or something equally quirky.

Josh Hamilton – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 20th homer.  Hit five more homers, you jockstuffer!

Mark Trumbo – 5-for-5, 5 runs, 2 RBIs and his 32nd homer.  His incentive clause kicked in yesterday, now for every RBI he gets the rest of the way, Arte Moreno will buy him a Caribbean island.  “Cougs, for our honeymoon, I wanna go to Trinidad and Trumbo.”

Chris Iannetta – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer.  Hitting over .300 in the last week with three homers.  I’m not excited about it, but he looks like a hot schmotato.

Starling Marte – Took swings in the batting cage yesterday.  He then took part in a romantic comedy montage with Cameron Diaz.

Charlie Morton – Says he can start on Friday.  Plan B is Brandon Cumpton.  Plan C is your grandmother’s nurse.

Jordy Mercer – 4-for-5, 1 run.  Up until yesterday a career day for Mercer was, “Mom, I got into the game!”

Francisco Liriano – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, helping the Pirates win their 83rd game for the first time since 1992.  The last time they won 83 games, Sharon Stone asked, “What are you gonna do?  Charge me with smoking?” and showed her vagina, our president incumbent was getting hummers from an intern, and Los Angeles rioted.  Are we making progress?

  1. Jack Full O' Hate says:
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    If i own Murphy should I drop him or just don’t pick him up?

    *sarcasm*

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey: I have a clue so i dropped him when he stopped hitting homers every other day, but I know someone was wondering this out there in fantasyyland

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Gotcha…

  2. costaricanchata says:
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    37 or 73 ?

  3. gareth says:
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    We need a “rajai davis, king of sagnof” sitcom. Now. Special guest appearance by comatose blue jays fan.

  4. gareth says:
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    Rajai hit that home run with his feet. Because he can.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @gareth: I could see that

  5. costaricanchata says:
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    ” … but I missed the start because Yahoo doesn’t allow DL players to come off the day of. All the fantasy providers have their issues, but this alone has to be the stupidest. ”

    if you are aware that a player is coming off the dl , simply , the night before , drop
    a player and then plug your dl-er into a slot .
    you still get the points .. even with the little red dl next to his name .
    it’s really not that difficult .

    cust .

    • Later Tater says:
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      @costaricanchata: did that last week with Cingrani
      he’s coming off dl, so put him in to start after dropping sp, and the next day, when yahoo was slow with removing his dl mark, put him back in the dl slot and got another sp

    • Wake Up says:
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      @costaricanchata: yeah…this does sound easier and make more sense than being able to do it the same day *sarcasm*

      • costaricanchata says:
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        @Wake Up:

        maybe my “defense” of yahoo comes from being more familiar with it
        than espn , but , once you realize that you have to make your next day’s
        roster changes by about the same time that Grey posts his columns ,
        life gets easier .

        no issues with espn-type roster “locks” because of early game-starts ,
        because you’ve already dealt with that issue .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @costaricanchata: And then when a player the day they’re coming off the DL has a setback, you have a DL’d player in your lineup and you’ve dropped their replacement the day before because the news said he was definitely coming off the DL…That’s never happened…

      • costaricanchata says:
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        @Grey: @Grey:

        sure it has , but ,
        less egregious than trying to figure out who
        may or may not play the 7 o’clock games (or later)
        by noontime , when early games start .

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You’re not convincing me there’s a benefit of having to decide on a DL player a full day before rather than hours before…

    • Later Tater says:
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      @costaricanchata: i never meant to support this stupid idea by yahoo
      the fact that i could do such a thing just shows it is silly
      of course same day dl subs should be allowed in all leagues

      • Howard says:
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        @Later Tater: I think it’s a league setting because I have some yahoo leagues where transactions are same day including DL. I think the default setting is for the next day.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @costaricanchata: that’s great. what about when they don’t come off the day you thought they were, either way the yahoo system is really stupid.

  6. costaricanchata says:
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    altuve’s 2nd and 3rd sb ‘s of the night came on 2 outs
    and a 5 run lead .
    it apparently might have raised some eyebrows
    (especially the theft of 3rd base) .
    apparently capps can throw fast , but can’t control the running game .
    in any event , i wouldn’t be surprised if altuve gets a little “chin music” tonight ,
    provided that the pitcher can keep the ball down .

    • Malicious Phenom says:
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      @costaricanchata: Altuve only did what he did last night so he can dig the knife even deeper into my back. See I traded Jose who wasn’t doing bleep for week after week, at the deadline, on Sept 1. AND presto dude is suddenly Mister Sepfeckintember!!He is making me look really bad…LMAO!!!

  7. bossmanjunior says:
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    I thought Chris Davis was around home run number 750 or something. We should have a glossary term for when a player verbally tells you to draft them and you don’t. Eggheads might be a bit too specific. You may recall I ran into Davis at a McDonalds 2 years ago and straight up told him he killed my fantasy team. While he laughed and I wept, while his hot girlfriend gave me the googly eyes, he told me to draft him in 2012. Did I listen? Of course not. Did I learn my lesson and draft him in 2013…of course not.

    • bossmanjunior says:
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      @bossmanjunior:

      Eggheads = Ehhh

    • costaricanchata says:
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      @bossmanjunior:

      did you notice the color of those googly eyes ?
      (of course not ??)

    • costaricanchata says:
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      @bossmanjunior:

      those googly eyes were probably trying to convey
      ” can you believe that this bozo actually brought me to a mcdonalds ?”

      • bossmanjunior says:
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        @costaricanchata:

        Yeeeeah as you might guess, she was hot. For what its worth, Davis was eating 3 southern style chicken sandwiches. Big boy needs his protein!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @bossmanjunior: You sound like me with Giancarlo…Only he doesn’t tell me to draft him, he tells me to get out from under his bed…

      • bossmanjunior says:
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        @Grey:

        I think you mean his sheets…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha

  8. bossmanjunior says:
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    In my h2h playoffs, my startings pitchers so far: Gio, Ubaldo and Miller without an earned run and 3 wins. My opponent’s starters so far: Gee, Buehrle, De la Rosa with no wins and an era over 11.0. Loving it. If only my offense would start hitting ugh.

  9. bossmanjunior says:
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    Who do I sit:

    Gardner @ Feldman (2-3)
    Stanton v. Minor (1-10 HR)
    Moss @ Pelfrey (n/a)
    Hosmer @ Kazmir (3-9)

    Equally behind in HR and SB’s, as well as R and RBI. Im leaning towards sitting Gardner as the rest give a better opportunity for both RBI and Runs.

  10. future11 says:
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    how confident are you in starting Petit today? I cannot afford to make a mistake here.. its a points league and I need like 15 points at least from him.. I cant afford him taking a loss since its a -5, a ND or W is fine (win= +5) by me with high K’s and low ER’s… I just need to avoid him getting rocked off that almost PG

    I have him and gray going today as of this minute and am hoping to get like 40 points combined.. Is thats a bit much to ask for? I have a SP limit so I could drop one or both to conserve starts (have 9 left till sunday but not much available)

    SON not being nice to gray(7) but very nice to Petit (18) but Gray is easily going against the easier team.

    Thanks alot for always answering these questions, sure you get alot of the same ones (like this im sure) but you always lend a hand..

    Your like StateFarm man “like a good neighbor, Grey is there”

    • Malicious Phenom says:
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      @future11: I say roll out both those guys today, if you do not have a lot of options left you best use these two. Both should be solid today in my book. Best of luck mate!

      • future11 says:
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        @Malicious Phenom:

        right on! thanks for the vote of confidence Phenom

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @future11: I’d bench Petit if you can’t afford a blow up…

    • matt says:
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      @future11: I’m throwing both tonight also.I’m never scared! But…I’m also 137 points up lol

  11. Two-Starting says:
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    Looking ahead for 2-start pitchers next week. I am looking for wins, but need to try and maintain my 1.139/3.201 WHIP/ERA. Any of these look enticing?

    Griffin, A.J. SP OAK versus vs. LAA and MIN
    Samardzija, Jeff SP CHC versus @MIL and ATL
    Chacin, Jhoulys SP COL versus STL and ARI
    Gray, Sonny SP OAK versus LAA and MIN
    Kelly, Joe SP STL versus @COL and @MIL
    Petit, Yusmeiro SP SF versus @NYM and @NYY

  12. robbiec says:
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    My brain was clogged with bong resin for most of the 90’s, but I’m pretty sure George Sr. was president in 1992. Wasn’t the Clinton-gate thing in 98?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @robbiec: George Sr. was getting hummers…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @robbiec: I added incumbent, I was drinking bong water then…Evian should sell that…

  13. Sixto Lezcano says:
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    Anyone else experiencing major Yahoo! issues? Our league isn’t keeping track of stats. I have no idea what the score is or what my next move should be. Ah, technology!

    I’m just going to get my modem out and dial in to log in to Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball and make some moves. Or maybe I’ll bust out my Apple IIC and pop in the Yahoo Fantasy Baseball floppy disk. Or maybe I’ll dust off the Texas Instruments tape recorder thingy and keyboard and plug it into a small TV, and then wait five days for some primitive dots resembling a baseball lineup to form on the screen.

    • Jim says:
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      @Sixto Lezcano: Yahoo caters to NFL more!

    • Wake Up says:
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      @Sixto Lezcano: still not fixed…

      • Sixto Lezcano says:
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        @Wake Up: Yeah not causing any problems at all. Thanks Yahoo.

    • Burt Macklin says:
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      @Sixto Lezcano:

      Same issue. Happened last week too.

  14. Joey B. says:
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    I have Napoli at C and Belt at 1B. Would it be crazy to add Gattis at C and move Napoli to 1B? May mean dropping Belt or Myers.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Joey B.: Slightly crazy, yeah

  15. willclark says:
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    Just looking for validation…stream Peacock tonight? SON kind of likes him and HOU is no longer facing King Felix. I streamed Lyles last night to good results. 16 team lg and my opponent has many better SPs this week.

    • CramYourCatcherQuestionUpYourCramhole says:
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      @willclark: Sounds like you should probably stream anyone and everyone if his SP is that much stronger. Go for K’s and W’s if he’s got you licked in ratios

  16. BoneFace n Harmony says:
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    Please rank these starts:
    Kluber @ CWS
    H. Santiago v. Cle
    Maholm v. SD

    Playoffs?!?

  17. Obmij76 says:
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    Great job yet again this year Grey! Im now out of the playoffs in one league and am looking to add a 26th rd Rookie Keeper. Who to pick up out of this group?
    Asche, Arcia, Matt Adams, Francisco Lindor, Carlos correa, javier baez or jonathan singleton? Thanks!

  18. Wake Up says:
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    Soriano blurb was hilarious!

    according to my sources he has been the #1 most valuable player over the last month…

    according to ESPN’s fantasy baseball experts, he will be the #1 most valuable player next year…

  19. Boomer19 says:
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    Great write up. May the fantasy gods smile on your teams today. That is all.

  20. Jose says:
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    The SON has them ranked Griffin – Wood – Kluber, in order of strongest to weakest odds for tomorrow. Do you agree with this?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jose: I don’t know the matchups, but I’d go Kluber, Griffin

  21. chillmodious says:
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    Morning, Grey. Nice rundown. Got a few questions for you as I fight to stay alive in my semifinal matchup…

    1. On Thursday, who would you stream from the following:

    AJ Griffin (@ Min, SON $13.4)
    Alex Wood (@ Mia, SON $10.2)
    Kluber (@ChiSox, SON $5.2)

    2. On Friday, who would you stream from the following:

    Niese (vs. Mia, SON $14.8)
    Salazar (@ ChiSox, SON $9.3)
    McCarthy (vs. Col, SON $7.4)

    C.

    4. In a different league where I already own him, would you start Kluber (@ChiSox, SON $5.2) tomorrow?

    Thanks!

  22. KB says:
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    What constitutes a good $ value in the Hitter-Tron, once you get past the obvious guys like Miggy and Trout, etc.

  23. Heatcheck3 says:
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    So The Dread Pirate turns 27 in October. Is he locked in for the number 3 pick next year? In related news, I traded Holliday for Cutch in May and I love that trade more than Hitter-tron loves riding my Roomba.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Heatcheck3: Yeah, him or Goldy… Nice trade!

      • Shoop Da Whoop says:
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        @Grey: Goldschmidt is busy reprising his Septumbler act from last season. I kind of need him to finish strong for my title hopes, but if it means he’s a late second round pick next year I might not kill myself

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @Shoop Da Whoop: wow that’s even more sad that I have both mccutchen and goldy in my main 16 teamer league and am barely middle of pack in rbi’s, just around lowest level of top third in homers. Thanks Upton/Aramis (most of year)/assorted catchers/rutledge/miller/aybar/choo/. Goldy’s finally hitting again, except that 19 game homer draught.

  24. Sniff Test says:
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    Do I have your permission to drop BJ Upton for Villar? I’ve held Upton all season in hopes of something…he started to show something in late Aug-early Sept but then he just put a bag of flaming poo on my doorstep…rang the bell and ran away. Why couldn’t BJ Upton have been the Brave that got hit in the face with a pitch. Life doesn’t make sense…never has…never will

    • matt says:
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      @Sniff Test: You are still holding on? BAWHAHAHA! Sorry..I’m a dick..YES DUMP that bitch! Is she putting out? Ok.. that’s your answer :-)

  25. LastPlace says:
    (link)

    Haren at Mets?
    Corbin at LA?
    Both?
    Neither?

  26. FMFBL says:
    (link)

    Thanks for all of your hard work this season, you guys are great!

    Keeper question…
    Would you trade Machado in the 10th and DomBrown in the 22nd for Chris Davis in the 14th?

    Realistically, how many years would I need to hang onto Machado before you see him performing like a top three 3B? 4-5 years?

    • matt says:
      (link)

      @FMFBL: 4-5 years? Lol I think he’s already there minus the hr’s wouldn’t you say?

      • FMFBL says:
        (link)

        @matt: He could use some serious plate discipline as well. not very helpful in an 6×6 roto with OBP. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, I’m a huge O’s fan but he’s outside of the top 10 in everything but hits and runs.

        • FMFBL says:
          (link)

          @FMFBL: #8 3B in AVG so I take that back. apologies as we don’t use AVG as a category in my league.

        • matt says:
          (link)

          @FMFBL: he’s barely shaving! Yes a couple yrs for him to bulk up (roids) he’s a skinny kid but he’s still beyond his yrs. How many 20 yr olds were as good as him? Not many. Id say a yr or two for the power. He was hitting .300 most of the year wasn’t he?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @FMFBL: No problem… Machado’s there next year… I’d take Davis…

  27. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    @ Grey :

    sorry that i can’t find a link to post here , but ,
    chisox have a zumba pants promotional coming up pretty soon .
    (pretty sure it’s the chisox , but as i type this … i have been watching
    a few games , lately … so , it might even have been san diego)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata: That’s awesome… I hope the players get to wear them too…

  28. matt says:
    (link)

    I started Cashner! Son-of-abench indeed! I’m now in total control thx to my excellent streaming I’m up 136 points in round 1 yay me!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @matt: Nice

  29. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    a little shoutout to the old skank razor…I’m nominating him for the “Neosporin player of the game”…

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Hochevar

  30. AJ says:
    (link)

    Best 2 matchups please…kazmir.vs KC…leake vs Chc…Feldman vs Ny

    • matt says:
      (link)

      @AJ: out of those feld/kaz

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @AJ: Not Leake

      • AJ says:
        (link)

        What about Samardzija vs cincy? Both available for stream@Grey:

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I wouldn’t mess with Samardzija

  31. matt says:
    (link)

    Where’s Car-girl? You mean he’s seeing a dr. Outside of that horrendous organization? Maybe he has a brain after all. Colorado needs to blow up the entire management postions and start over! Idiots!

    • matt says:
      (link)

      @matt: maybe the rockies and mets can consolidate organizations and make one decent team out of the two

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Agreed

  32. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Dyson is sitting…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: He doesn’t strike me as a guy that sits much

  33. JC says:
    (link)

    So Melancon has pitched in 2 straight and obviously struggled to get the final out last night, but still has only thrown 38 pitches in those two days. If the Pirates get another save chance tonight, do you think they trot him out there again? Or do you think they call on Grilli (who gave up a run last night as well, or someone else)?

    I have both Melancon and Grilli, but can only dedicate one spot to them in my lineup.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @JC: I’d just go with Melancon

      • JC says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Boy, I hope you’re right about Melancon – – looks like someone is going to get a crack at a save.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I hope so too since I own him

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Farnsworth is closing

          • JC says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Yup, just scrambled on here after seeing that. At least there’s solace in the fact that neither Melancon or Grilli go the save opportunity. So I was screwed either way. Plus, you can still say that you weren’t wrong either. haha

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ha, yup!

  34. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    early game today…

  35. Buckner says:
    (link)

    Did you comment on Travis Wood’s Monday smack-down of Dusty’s Reds? I missed it!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Buckner: You can search at the top of the site…

  36. CT Old School says:
    (link)

    I’ve streamed Edwin Jackson five or six times based on SoN’s recommendations and he’s gotten rocked every time. Does Edwin have compromising photos of SoN and Bender Bending Rodriquez in a twelve-way?

  37. D Rich says:
    (link)

    Grey, is there no DL spots now that rosters have expanded? I have Domonic and Elsbury and missing them suckkss but not being able to put them on the DL and pick someone up is really killing me. I’m in head to head 2 week semis and finals matchups and i cant drop them because im in keeper league and there two of my keepers. Please explain why i’m being tortured….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @D Rich: Might be because of what you did in a former life

  38. Oppo Taco says:
    (link)

    Better keeper for next year beachy or Harvey? Or would you look for othet options Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Oppo Taco: I don’t know what other options you have… Beachy

      • Oppo Taco says:
        (link)

        @Grey: boegarts, profar, Kimbrel, Holland, BJ Upton, Samajadizja are other options. Keeping goldy, j up, Bautista, heyward, Mccutchen, bumgarner. Need one more keeper

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Your other options are better

  39. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    I’m fighting for the last playoff spot. Not really fighting, I’ve got a 9 game lead. But theoretically I could lose out and get knocked out of the ‘Offs. Any the who, I’m juggling struggling stars and randoms which is what you do to win at the end of the season. Here’s my Q and would appreciate some A here (who wouldn’t like a little A, eh?):

    Do I pick up Villar for Crisp with this squad:

    C – Sal Per
    1B – Fielder
    2B – Altuve
    3B – Middlebrooks
    SS – Hanley
    OF – Jones
    OF – Crush
    OF – Werth
    UTIL – Crisp
    UTIL – Fonzie
    BN – Tulo*
    BN – Longoria*

    * Who knew these jackwagons would both be healthy but have seemingly packed it up packed it in the last month of the season?

    H2H – H, R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OB+SLUG

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d hold

  40. Bombo Rivera says:
    (link)

    On right on pace for starts so I could get away with skipping a guy or two over the next three weeks as long as I find a streamer to plug in later. Sit Cobb against Boston and Ryan Dempster? SON seems to like him a fair amount ($14.2), but the Red Sox have scored 59 runs over their past 6 games. That seems like a lot.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sit him

  41. chillmodious says:
    (link)

    Grey, you may have gone over this already, but am I ok to lose Allen Craig at this point? Only two weeks left after this (assuming I make the finals, which is looking decent). I had Brett Gardner as a bench bat, and he’s now in my starting lineup at Util. I’m thinking I should lose Craig for a streamer in order to help my pitching cause. What say you?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, lose him

  42. chillmodious says:
    (link)

    Also…

    Would you start Tanner Roark tomorrow (at NYM)? SON hates it, but I think there’s something there.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d start him

  43. P Swayz on a Horse says:
    (link)

    In 1st, w/ a buy this week. Keeper league

    Cut Ellsbury, Cargo, and Masterson?

    Had no plans on keeping the first 2. Masty may be a cheap keep … need to check.

    12 team league… but 33 rosters spots.

    AJP – C
    Au Shizz – 1st
    Kipnis -2nd
    Segura – SS
    Machado/Encarnacion – 3rd (don’t be hurt E5)

    OF
    Bonifacio
    L. Martin
    C. Carter
    W. Myers
    McLouth
    Colabello

    Guys on wire:
    B-up
    Willingham
    T. Frazier
    Reddick
    M. Morse
    Viciedo
    Span
    EYJ

    THANKS!

    • P Swayz on a Horse says:
      (link)

      @P Swayz on a Horse:

      Oops … Votto in my Utility.

      • P Swayz on a Horse says:
        (link)

        @P Swayz on a Horse:

        Also, drop AJP for Gattis?

        • P Swayz on a Horse says:
          (link)

          @P Swayz on a Horse:
          Rajai
          Lake
          Dyson

          Also on the wire

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Sure

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      If you can’t keep them, then cut them

      • P Swayz on a Horse says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Agreed. Who should I replace them with?

  44. Longotulo says:
    (link)

    Castro sitting again. Should I drop him and grab Gattis or W Ramos? Thanks

    • Longotulo says:
      (link)

      @Longotulo: or Iannetta ?

      • bossmanjunior says:
        (link)

        @Longotulo:

        Ramos. Good match ups rest of week facing Harang, Kendrick, Hamels and Cloyd.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ramos

  45. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    it appears mccutchen is off today. If i’m tied in steals at 0 but have these steals guys choo/cutch/upton (NOT)/miller/aybar(not much with these last 2)/goldy/hamilton (lightning dude) vs pence/hanram/span/seager/torii hunter, but i’m also in quite close battle in counting stats, +1 run, +3 hits, -3 rbi’s +7 bases. That being the case, when should i bench a util guy (asche) or ss aybar for hamilton. In other stupid news, i forgot to put Kazmir in; so i’m only leading K’s by 5 with 9 starts vs opp’s 8 for rest of week. How the hell do they schedule a game for 11:00 AM central. I really thought I put in all of these pitchers for whole week days ago.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Looks like you did well not getting him in

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: not really as i’m already losing losses by 2, need to hold my now 3 K lead, and down 2 wins. So i’m guessing still don’t bench somebody for hamilton?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Gotcha…Bench Asche today vs. a lefty for Hamilton

          • goodfold2 says:
            (link)

            @Grey: got lucky as well, it appears they moved perez up to sun, so same 5 days rest, 1 day earlier start. So still have 10 starts left vs opp’s 8. Should be enough to still win K’s, still up 1 now playing against shields. Pitching stuff isn’t looking good as every one of his pitchers are doing as good at they ever do (liriano/shields/miller/nolasco); and mine are doing at least close to as bad as they ever do (except Medlen)

            • goodfold2 says:
              (link)

              @goodfold2: too late to asche for hamilton. that damn game also started at 12:00 central.

              • goodfold2 says:
                (link)

                @goodfold2: I asked too late the 2nd time.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                Hopefully it’s not a big difference…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Nice

  46. bossmanjunior says:
    (link)

    I had a bad feeling about Kazmir’s start today so I didn’t pick him up. So far being validated. Kept Garza instead, pray with me.

    • Prezi says:
      (link)

      @bossmanjunior: im in on that prayer!

      • bossmanjunior says:
        (link)

        @Prezi:

        Grey has told me to drop him 100 times, so just at the very least, im looking to avoid a big “told ya so!”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      What about me?

      • bossmanjunior says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Come join the dodecahedron prayer gathering, buddy!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I’m there!

  47. Tom says:
    (link)

    In a close 5×5 H2H playoff battle this week. Need as many AB’s as possible from my catching position. Gattis will get more than and is a no brainer over AJP or Y. Gomes, right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup

  48. Prezi says:
    (link)

    Holy early start time! No SS today i guess… Ive been 0fer with it this week anyway…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup

  49. Mike says:
    (link)

    Who’s a better Stream?

    Peacock @Sea (vs Maurer)
    Haren @NYM (vs Wheeler)

    Looking for Ks and a W

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haren

  50. Jay says:
    (link)

    pinto or gattis for catcher

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Gattis

  51. anthony says:
    (link)

    @grey: 12 man h2h playoffs some guy in the other playoff matchup dropped nova to stream another pitcher – obviously put a claim in right ?? who to drop ?

    ryu
    gray
    Perkins
    Nathan
    Janssen
    peacock
    Zimmerman
    cashner
    Mcallister
    Santiago
    colon
    latos
    cole

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      McAllister

  52. anthony says:
    (link)

    @grey ps its H2h points league

  53. anthony says:
    (link)

    @grey its h2h pts does that change anything or still drop Mcallister ??

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Doesn’t change anything

  54. Carnac says:
    (link)

    If Goldschmidt’s 2014 ADP could slip a bit if his September stays cold, what’s happening to Anthony Rizzo’s?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Battling to stay in the top 100?

      • Carnac says:
        (link)

        He’ll still have upside mystique, so maybe as high as the high 80s? MAYBE. $10-12 in auction. He’s probably slumped his way out of 1B and into CI.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, definitely… 75-100 and he’s a corner man…

  55. EK says:
    (link)

    Rank for H2H pts?

    Kluber @ CWS (5.2)
    Estrada @ STL (7.9)
    Haren @ NYM (15.3) uhh he just gave up 12 ER in 5.2 innings against MIA & NYM
    Kennedy @ ATL (10.0) feeding after midnight

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      You ranked them

  56. letsgobravos says:
    (link)

    I was so close to grabbing Soriano in both leagues when the Yanks picked him up. Had a strange feeling that he might blow up in the bronx. He was a big help to me last year in the league I won so its not like this was totally out of the blue. Dude is old, but he can still play and I’m kicking myself for not rostering him.

    Alas, still finished 1st and 2nd respectively in my 2 leagues so enjoying the bye week. Trying to decide if I should continue to roll with Aybar as my SS or grab Ruttledge or Villar. Aybar’s homer yesterday is making me have second thoughts about dumping him. Should I make a move now or wait a couple more days to see who’s the hottest of the 3?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I hear ya… I’d go with Villar if I needed steals… Otherwise, hold

      • letsgobravos says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I have Rajai and Boneface on the roster already so one would think I have plenty of speed, but of course those two are now sluggers so who knows anymore….

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha…Yeah, I’d hold

  57. royce! says:
    (link)

    I have to drop at least two players…I want to activate Kluber for his two starts next week, and possibly Cingrani, and maybe pick up Roark, who also gets two starts (ATL, MIA)…also maybe pick up Cueto and throw him on the DL for now…

    14 team 7×7 (OBP, XBH, Holds, K/BB)

    C- Ruiz
    1B- Cuddyer
    2B- Ackley
    3B- Miggy
    SS- ZObrist
    IF- Asche
    OF- McCutchen
    OF- Cespedes
    OF- Ajax
    OF- Yelich
    UTIL- Dyson
    BN- Rizzo
    BN- Scooter
    BN- Presley

    SP- Cobb (2 starts)
    SP- Ryu (2 Starts)
    RP- Holland
    RP- Benoit
    RP- Tazawa
    RP- Gray (2 Starts)
    P- Cole
    P- Bailey
    P- Peavy
    BN- Zimmermann
    BN- Gee
    BN- Nova
    DL- Cingrani
    DL- Kluber

    Avila is available, so I could drop Ruiz for now in order to clear up space to pick up Cueto, DL him, and then pick up Avila.

    I was thinking of dropping Gee, as I don’t expect to use him again (he projects to get @ PHI and MIL, both of which are okay, but neither would be 2 start weeks), Cingrani (will he even start again?), but could probably just drop some bats (Dyson, Scooter, Ackley, Rizzo, or Presley).

    How would you play it, Grey? BTW, I’m back up 7-4 this week so maybe it was early to complain about h2h…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nice… I’d drop Cingrani, Ruiz and Gee and grab Avila, DL Cueto and grab Kluber

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        Cool, done. Just to be sure, you wouldn’t drop a bat (Dyson, Scooter, Ackley, Rizzo, or Presley) for Roark? Having three bench bats makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, true… I’d lose Ackley for Roark…

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Crap, still more Q’s – should I drop Ackley or Scooter for Villar and move Zobrist to 2B? Kole Calhoun is also sitting on the wire, if I wanted to use him over Dyson.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, Scooter too for Villar…

  58. RudyCorrales says:
    (link)

    Boys. Thanks for all the massive help this season. Made it to the semifinal a in my league and looking like this is where the good times come to an end.

    One last question for the year.

    What 2 do I keep out if this bunch?

    -Paul goldschmithhhh
    – Giancarlo Stanton
    -Jose Bautista
    -Ryan Braun

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Goldy, Stanton

  59. Sixto Lezcano says:
    (link)

    Kipshit killing me

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, fell off again in the 2nd half

      • Sixto Lezcano says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I was gonna say, you told us so. He’s morphed into a veritable Mickey Morandini.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, definitely appears to be a 1st half hitter…

          • goodfold2 says:
            (link)

            @Grey: where was the smart guy who expected him to sustain his 1st half. He was on here mouthing that stuff for at least a week back around all star break.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yeah, that’s how it usually goes…

  60. TysonFrozenChicken says:
    (link)

    Hittertron pretty down on Wil Myers today (and most days), but it seems like he could light up Dempster at Fenway.

    You buying what the Hittertron is slumming, or would you start Myers today over maybe Pence or Justin Upton against JoJo Fernan-Ks, assuming Upton plays?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d start him over Upton

  61. airweino says:
    (link)

    10 team mixed keeper league – do I speculate on Javier Baez or Archie Bradley for 2014?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Archie

  62. SF1966 says:
    (link)

    What’s up with Segura ???

    What kind of rank for next year?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Top 4 rounds, top 3 SS

  63. Brick says:
    (link)

    On a bye week after a awesome 1st place, 1st in points finish in a 16 team H2H points league. The dynamic foursome of Goldy, Trout, A Jones, and AGonz lead me to a dominant season.

    My question is: What the hell do i do on my bye week?

    Also, what are you looking to replace Jose Fernandez in the semis next week, losing him is gonna be rough… probably just streams at this point in the season right?

    Thanks Grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Watch Luther on Netflix streaming? Go with streams…

      • Brick says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Haha word, thanks!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

  64. John Axford's Meat Stache says:
    (link)

    Soriano is having some sort of Betty White resurgence isn’t he at the ripe old of 86. Good for him….I currently have Leonys manning my LF position with CarGo out and dropped. It is my bye week since I finished in first. I’m a little perturbed that Martin is batting last again and was wondering if I should replace him with any of the following guys instead for next week: Chris Carter, Gomes, Nava, Ethier, Lake. I kind of like the 1B eligibility of Carter and Nava since Rizzo seems content to put 0’fers this whole week.

    Also, someone dropped Alex Wood. Worthing scooping him up in place of Hector Santiago?

    • John Axford's Meat Stache says:
      (link)

      @John Axford’s Meat Stache:

      It’s a keeper league as well so Wood could be kept.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, yup… I’d go with Nava as long as you can platoon someone in if he sits at all… I’d hold off on Wood for now…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Oh, see your follow up now… Yeah, grab Wood for Santiago

  65. Ben says:
    (link)

    @Grey – Samardzija just gave up 5+ ER for the third consecutive game. Time to drop him for someone else for the championship week next week in my H2H league?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yes, drop him

  66. CramYourCatcherQuestionUpYourCramhole says:
    (link)

    Gennett or Rutledge? Playing time not an issue. Just production if/when they play…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Rutledge

  67. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    c’mon pirates … sweep those rangers .
    soon , they’ll activate that cheater cruz
    to help them out on defense .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

  68. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    wilin … such a puzz .
    like to get krissy to punch him in the mouth for me .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      She would too

  69. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    TEX is becoming the new ARI, as far as taking struggling (good but still struggling lately) pitchers and turning them into kings. at least the league i benched burnett in i’m on a bye.

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: i apparently spoke a little soon (only concerning today, as they were terrible against Cole and Liriano) about TEX today. Damn Polack took too much time off of learning to put in lightbulbs with his family and learned to hit 2 doubles today, when he hit .077 last week.

  70. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    i think that porn movie producers could take a cue from mlb.tv .
    “nolan arenado is now in the hole” .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

  71. Carnac says:
    (link)

    Your thoughts on the new season of Luther? Were you able to get it On Demand?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I did… It was okay… Stringer Bell is incredible, such a great actor… The story was pretty convoluted…

      • Carnac says:
        (link)

        It got pretty silly at times. I enjoyed it, but I kind of hope they don’t make any more.

        Mrs. Carnac and I have been watching Broadchurch (crime drama, also BBC America). Solid. Terrific acting, once again. It’s on demand, but not the 1st episode (had to buy on itunes).

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I think it’s done except for maybe a movie… Broadchurch was pimped during the Luther show and Cougs heard good things… I could see me watching it once the season’s over (assuming someone (you/Cougs) reminds me)….

  72. Shoop Da Whoop says:
    (link)

    Garza is a fucking homo. Wind’s blowing in, it’s cool for this time of year… and he walks the entire lineup. Way to pick today to not throw too many strikes, asshole.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hehe

  73. Sixto Lezcano says:
    (link)

    Would you grab Marte if he was out there. Like over any of the streamer/batty-call types (Boneface, Leonys, Scheirholtz, Reynolds, etc).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nope

  74. Carnac says:
    (link)

    A: “Ian Kinsler has an undisclosed nagging injury somewhere above his ankle and below his neck.” – Rotoinfo

    Q: What is Ian Kinsler’s Jewish mother?

    • royce! says:
      (link)

      @Carnac: Ha! Apparently he really wanted to make sure that everyone knew it wasn’t all in his head…

      • Carnac says:
        (link)

        @royce!: Ha, nice. Said Ian, “I’m glad to finally know what’s wrong. I’m grateful the Mets doctors were willing to see me.”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

  75. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    here comes another easy rbi for my opp with pedro from PIT. Man losing in playoffs sucks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Indeed

  76. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    whatever leads i had yesterday halfway through the day are gone by the good hitting of pence/pedro/pierzynski/adams and now I’m in dogfight in every offensive stat and near dead in every pitching except saves (winning by 1, no way to improve here, except luck), and K’s, which I will win. I’ll need 5 of the 7 offensive cats. The best candidates are average (tied now), bases (down 2, was +19 mid yesterday), homers (winning by 1, with no likely candidates hitting any yet (goldy/mccutch/choo/upton/aramis), and steals (tied at 0 now, but i seem to have better steals guys), runs (down 2), hits (down 2). Opp is hot as hell since like yesterday at 8:30ish central time. 13 for last 25 for 25 bases. 7 of those hits were doubles and 1 homer.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      We’re all pulling for you…Unless your opposition is a reader…

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i’m sure he’s not.

  77. chillmodious says:
    (link)

    Got a few more for ya, Grey. Thanks for always being so cool about the questions…

    1. On Friday… Throw Niese (@Mia, SON 14.8) or Iwakuma (at StL, SON 4.4)?

    2. …also, how do you feel about Iwakuma for the rest of the year? Someone just dropped him in one of my leagues, but his upcoming schedule could be dicey.

    4. Same question as above, but concerning Gerrit Cole instead of Iwakuma.

    Thanks, doode!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      1. Niese 2. No reason to look past one start 4. Same answer

      • chillmodious says:
        (link)

        @Grey: MUCH appreciated. Thanks for keeping me on track!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

  78. Jack says:
    (link)

    H2H Playoffs! Need W’s w/o killing era/whip. Is the SON ranking still right. If not, how would you change the order given my need (SON $ given):

    Locke vCHN (Rusin) 12.4
    Kluber @CHW (Danks) 5.2
    Ross @PHI (Halladay) 1.7
    Roark @NYN (Harrang) -3.2

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Roark over Ross, rest the same

  79. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    see if i can ride the broom on myself again, F U pence! No rbi’s for you. 6 days time.

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: i’d rather have had a double play there.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

  80. Dr. Sauce says:
    (link)

    Beauty write-up … great stuff!! I’m in a head-head (5X5) 6 man keeper league. I’ve been in first place the whole year (won the regular season), but of course 1st round of playoffs and my hitters are absolutely face planting. Anyways starting to look toward next year … It’s early and I realize much can change but at this point I have Harper, Goldy, Braun and Stanton as no brainer keepers therefore which 2 would you take out of; Kipnis, Reyes, Machado, Choo, Jo-Fer and D. Price. Thanks!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! Machado, Price…Kipnis or Reyes over Braun…

  81. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Petit just undid a shitload of good work right there.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Real fine line you’re working on there… BTW, Holland!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha… About as much chance as Rudy benching his so I can gain a point on him…

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i thought holland was too tired to go today? I’m betting he’ll be a candidate to be like those ATL RP’s that all broke down this year, next year (for holland). Logging crazy innings, and he’s not tall.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Except Kimbrel…

          • goodfold2 says:
            (link)

            @Grey: not kimbrel, i meant those other 2, since replaced by downs/walden/carpenter/avilan/

      • SteveNZ says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Can we get a Brothers save opp?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Belisle screwed us again

          • SteveNZ says:
            (link)

            @Grey: He did, but Brothers has been shaky as all hell lately, so there’s that.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I guess… Doesn’t make me feel much better…

        • SteveNZ says:
          (link)

          @SteveNZ: No.

  82. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    this isn’t just me cherry picking, alvarez/pence have seriously just walked into some of the easiest rbi spots last 2 days. Loaded with no outs,i’m gonna need halfway decent RP for SF opp’s for rest of week.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, nature of the beast

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: at the sound of the bell pence up with bases loaded, less than 2 outs. Col bullpen’s whip is really bad.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Belisle sucks

  83. Tom says:
    (link)

    Looking for 2 start pitchers for next week.

    Do you think if Masterson comes back the Indians will go with a 6 man and screw up Kluber’s chance to get 2 starts next week or do they replace Salazar with him?

    Do the Mets stick with a 6 man rotation with Harrang and DiceK and thus deny Wheeler of 2 starts next week?

    Which one is most likely to have 2 starts next week?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Masterson probably isn’t coming back, but if he does, yeah, a 6 man rotation is a strong possibility… Yes on the Mets…Kluber has a better chance…

  84. killer joe says:
    (link)

    I’m sure this has been asked before , but who did you get to do the voice for all the razzball glossary terms? Or is your voice just that incredible?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      It’s at the bottom of the page… Awesomus Maximus’s daughter…

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: what voice, you now have a sound track for the glossary? sweet

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          There’s a few terms that are voiced… If you click the links that are marked with the old-timey record player symbol…

  85. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Need Morse to snap his hitless streak in style. Tron seems to think he will…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Rajai with a steal!

      • SteveNZ says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Good for H2H, but sucks in RCL. Cost me half a point.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Oh…Doh…

  86. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Do you think Grilli gets any saves in the next two weeks?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, probably… Over/under is 3…

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: and would you rather gamble on Grilli or Cole for the next two weeks? I need RP and SP equally so…in a vacuum

        • Prezi says:
          (link)

          HitterTron, “Somebody say vacuum!?”

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Nice, Prezi!

            • Prezi says:
              (link)

              @Grey: SlANlON! Cross my T’s! And gattis! Pulled me right back in this thing…

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                Very nice!

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Prezi: Well played! In my best worst robot voice, “Come over here vacuum and put your carpet piece over my hard drive”…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Cole

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Thank you sir! Did you write your Haiku yet?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I wrote my haiku and put it in a bottle and tossed it into the Pacific…

              • Wake Up says:
                (link)

                @Grey: That’s a coinsidence I threw mine in the American Ocean…and yell at it to getaway, getaway…

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I have Cole’s matchups as vs CHC, vs SD, @CHC

  87. Shoop Da Whoop says:
    (link)

    Another caught looking for Trout. Swing the god damn bat, dude. I love walks more than anybody not named Barry Bonds (I seriously try to walk as often as I can in video games. IN VIDEO GAMES. That’s how much I like walks) but Jesus Fucking Christ, walks aren’t good when they become strikeouts with your bat on your shoulder.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      HAHA

  88. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Look at Simmons hitting and drawing walks. Wanker.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

  89. stynyr says:
    (link)

    Which two of Garza, Fernandez or Petit should I drop to grab which of the following: Kluber @ CWS, Tanner Roark @ NYM, or Joe Kelly v MIL?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Roark, Kluber… Garza, Fernandez

  90. Shoop Da Whoop says:
    (link)

    My 2014 pitching staff:

    Cole
    Gray
    Salazar
    Let’s fill in the rest. Cole will probably go around pick 100, right? So in a 10 team league I can nab him in round 9/10 after loading up on offense, then get a closer or two, another couple of bats, then going Gray and Salazar.

    • Shoop Da Whoop says:
      (link)

      @Shoop Da Whoop: I’ll add to my own. Kluber. Love Cleveland’s OF defense. Is there any reason to take a pitcher before round 9 next year? Serious question.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        No, there’s no reason…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, in most leagues, Gray and Salazar will go much later…Especially Salazar…

  91. Adam Jonesin says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey, last question of the season – 4 days left in my 5×5 H2H championship matchup and I have 1 add left. Who should I go for:
    1) Ernesto Frieri to replace Farquhar, who is off Thurs and is @STL rest of the week, and we’re tied in saves
    2) Bryce Harper, who was dropped when it looked like he was out for the rest of the fantasy season, where I’m owning R, HR, RBI, and slightly winning AVG, and he would replace Hamilton or Carl Crawford in the lineup (neither of whom have an off day)
    3) One more low end starter, where I have a slight edge in Ks, and losing all other pitching cats. This could be either Hellickson vs BOS, David Hale starting for Maholm vs SD, or Alvarez @ NYM. Someone that bad.

    Thanks a LOT

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Go for Frieri…Good luck!

  92. blue says:
    (link)

    If i had an avatar it would look like Jose Fernandez.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hehe

  93. Bush says:
    (link)

    How many starts do you think Kole C gets next three days (all vs. lefty SP?)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      2

  94. JRO says:
    (link)

    Drop Segura for Villar?

    Could also drop Hill for Bonifacio, what one makes most sense or both.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I wouldn’t do either, but if you really need steals…Drop Hill for Bnoifacio

  95. JRO says:
    (link)

    Who for next week

    Kazmir KC again and Hou
    Porcello SEA CWS
    or Estrada cubs and Stl

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Porcello

  96. Billy B-Cup Butler says:
    (link)

    *Best* (belch) fill-in for E5 if he’s shut down…

    Ruf, C. Carter, Gyorko, ARod, Pagan, Kendrick?

    Thanks Grey-bot. You are the au-shizz.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      A-Rod…No problem

  97. A2K says:
    (link)

    Looking forward to sharing some daiquiris with you at the end of September…

    Gennett or Cozart these last 17 days?

    I was doing some manual labor earlier today, pushbrooming some dust and debri.

    I naturally thought of you.

    This is getting kinda weird.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Cozart…Ha!

  98. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    I hope Sonny hasn’t forgotten what he’s supposed to be doing while he was watching that inning.

  99. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Damn. Nearly grabbed Robertson for today (was worried about his shoulder). Would have got me what looks like a vulture win.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I dropped A-Rod yesterday because I thought his hamstring tightened up… Dah…

      • SteveNZ says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Did you cop a feel?

  100. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Even Reddick is in on the act.

    Take a good look at yourselves, Twins pitchers.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      HA! That’s hilarious

      • SteveNZ says:
        (link)

        @Grey: As you were. Overturned. Ruled a double.

        Stupid Reddick, couldn’t even get it all the way out.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha

  101. ashtray says:
    (link)

    Both Brian Roberts and Rajai Davis each have more homers than my Goldschmidt, Aaron Hill and Prado combined over the last 2 weeks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha…Ugh

  102. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Could do with Rodney getting flayed here.

  103. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Come on Sonny. Just get out of this inning. Not much to ask.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Really letting up on the throttle with the huge lead

  104. royce! says:
    (link)

    Ugh, now is not the time, Ryu.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      No it is not…

  105. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    C’mon Cards. Let’s get Rosenthal a vulture win!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d like that too, thank you

      • SteveNZ says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Two aboad, one out…

        • SteveNZ says:
          (link)

          @SteveNZ: Sacks full. One out.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Yes, please

            • SteveNZ says:
              (link)

              @Grey: Fat Adams definitely deserves a Boom!

              Pity I dropped him a few days ago.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                Boom-boom!

          • SteveNZ says:
            (link)

            @SteveNZ: Boom!

            • SteveNZ says:
              (link)

              @Grey: @SteveNZ: If Boom! is the right way to describe a sac fly…

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                Haha…Nice!

                • SteveNZ says:
                  (link)

                  @Grey: Of course the guy chasing me in Wins has Uehara…

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    Of course…

  106. Shoop Da Whoop says:
    (link)

    Of course, Oakland scores 16 runs and Gray is pulled after 5.

    I’m second in my league in innings, first in WHIP, ERA, and K/9… and 9th in quality starts. Figure that fucking shit out, because I can’t. Oh, besides Shelby Miller and his constant 5.2 IP 1 ER specials.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, young pitchers don’t go deep… Especially not when up by 14…

  107. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Holy Mike Carp.

  108. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Magnificent name on the Mariners pitcher coming into the game now.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      So fruity!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Berry nice name

  109. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    it’s probably too late now since every start my opp has had all week are wins (plus uehera) so i’m down 6-1 in wins, and 3-1 in losses, but i really wanted to stream peacock today. i was just starting to come back when fatt adams shot me down again in bases, rbi’s took my homer lead away. I probably could’ve got to adams the day craig was hurt, but I’m pretty sure the guy i’m playing saw it before me. This is a st. louis league.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Damn…

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: opp now hitting 22 for last 62 with 11 runs, 13 rbi’s, 2 homers, 10 doubles since yesterday. and he’s even benching dominguez both days.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Jesus

          • goodfold2 says:
            (link)

            @Grey@Grey: yet i remain down only 4 bases, 3 runs, 4 rbi’s, winning steals by 1 (with 1), hits by 1 again (YEAH goldy 4 hitter),avg (by.014), homers/saves tied.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Looks winnable…

  110. OaktownSteve says:
    (link)

    There are still people in the stands in Minnehaha.

  111. Comma says:
    (link)

    Encarcion droppable now?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup

  112. Hey Grey – needing steals. Who would you drop, if any, for Villar ROS:
    – Rajai (0 in last 14??!)
    – EY3 (7)
    – Dyson (5)

    I’ve got Prado at MI I can move all over the place – possibly even to 3rd in place of E4 (long distance prayer decagon)

    thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I wouldn’t drop those guys if I needed steals…

  113. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Would have been only 4-5 days ago that i was ahead of Bob in Runs. Now he’s TWENTY ahead of me. I hate Runs.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Damn

  114. Carnac says:
    (link)

    Grey, how many moves would you estimate you make per team, per season? (Assuming unlimited moves.)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      On average, probably around 120…

    • costaricanchata says:
      (link)

      @Carnac:

      guessing …. 181 – 222

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @costaricanchata:

        dang .
        had i refreshed , i could have guessed better .

  115. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    I’m underwhelmed by that, Goldy. At least it wasn’t the dreaded sac fly.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, seriously

  116. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Ziegler save opp is back on!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yes!

  117. Shoop Da Whoop says:
    (link)

    Jose Fernandez is King Shit of Fuck Mountain. You’re welcome for personally making your blog rated R with my profanity.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

  118. John says:
    (link)

    I have a ton of guys getting off the DL. In first in deep dynasty keep forever 5×5 league. Which one goes?

    Scutaro
    Reddick
    Kubel

    Problem is, I gave up gary sanchez for kubel. So I am reluctant to give him up.

    Also, quintana or morton ROS?

    thank you

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Kubel… Quintana

  119. gareth says:
    (link)

    I don’t rate rick porcello at all but he has a two start week against the mariners and white sox at home in detroit next week. I’m needing wins, era and whip.

    Worth a flier or hold?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Worth a flyer

  120. gareth says:
    (link)

    I dropped jose fernandez two weeks ago because of the innings cap and went with 2 start options instead.

    Two sublime starts later i already felt bad, but after watching that home run I felt like mongo’s horse.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha!

  121. MB says:
    (link)

    I only got 3rd instead of 1st this year because of revere, braun and joey bats right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup

  122. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
    (link)

    10 team league that i have a bye because my team is the best of all, rank miller/villar/scooter/boneface. I’d need the best 2 or 3. 2 if wright comes back next week or at all. I have 3 of them now. boneface is the steals only spot, but do to having much better OF’ers and Hill/machado I have to bench a good hitter to get him in, so villar could be useful as steals guy who also would start. currently i have miller starting with scooter as bench.
    2. I see you are advocating dumping ruiz for avila due to avila being hot lately. I have 3 pickups left in the ruiz owning 16 teamer in the playoffs, and i may need those to stream late in week. Plus Avila splits more games off with Pena like with Mesoraco/Hanigan. If not stream one of those last adds could be pickup hochevar or another K.c. RP to take over for over worked holland (pitched 8 days this month already). so wil smith or hochevar i’m guessing.

Comments are closed.