Here at Razzball we don’t believe in protesting a fantasy baseball trade, but we do fully support passive-aggressive, sarcastic belittling. So if someone in your league passed a trade that makes you wish they passed a kidney stone, you’re in luck! Here’s a Mad Libs-type tirade to post in league’s messageboard because when met with pettiness, retaliate with more pettiness. Simply copy the below and fill in the appropriate words. You may use this post to antagonize your closest friends, enemies or frenemies with the express written consent of Razzball.com. Also, feel free to post your version in the comments.
To Those That Passed That (adjective) Trade,
Hi, (Name) here. Just wanted to state my thoughts on the trade of (Player(s) Traded Away) for (Player(s) Received). I contemplated vetoing the trade. Instead, I decided to voice my disagreement on this messageboard. Though I do question the two trade partners’ ability to read something that isn’t scribbled in crayons. On the bright side, the two (plural derogatory name) who were involved in the trade can use this post to practice their reading comprehension. It’s not too late for that GED!
Since no one has the courtesy to respond to my trade offers, I figured you were too busy (verb) in your Mommy’s basement while eating hard candies like an addict freebases (drug). Alas, I overestimated both of you. You managed to put your collective (low number) IQs together and lower the integrity of the league like you have to lower your standards to date (plural farm animal).
So, doucetards, I have an idea. How about the next time you two (plural derogatory name) get together you figure out the best way to do nothing with your (adjective) lives? I hear Subway might have an opening to spin a sign on the street corner. Then again, for that to work you probably have to know the meaning of clockwise.
The Guy Who Is Going To Beat Both Of You Like Your Step-Daddy Should Have,
P.S. Anyone need a closer?