Kevin Youkilis, the Greek God of Back Pain, is off to the DL. Yesterday, Ortiz took a boot to the foot and today this. The Sawx are officially in rest up for the playoffs mode, which is great for all the pasty-faced Sawx fans, but it’s not great for fantasy. So far this year, Youuuuuuk has 17 homers in 395 at-bats while batting .266. So that means, if he were healthy in September, he’d give you some runs, RBIs and 3 homers. I just popped a zit into a mirror and the puss read, “Whatever.” You can find a replacement for Youk on waivers in most leagues. So put on your Burger King crown you stole from some kid, open up your fantasy waivers and replace him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Lavarnway – Was called up. Stephen just went over his Lavarnway fantasy. He wrote it while throwing darts at a picture of me. Lavarnway is worth noting because he hit 30 homers between Double- and Triple-A this year. Now, rookie catcher is a tough position to be in. Ask any recently incarcerated felon. But Ortiz and Youk are both out, so Lavarnway will see everyday time at DH for the time being. This is great news since he’s catcher eligible.
Marco Estrada – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks. I ignored him after his first start in the Brewers rotation when he threw five shutout innings vs. the hey-are-they-still-contending Pirates. Now he threw another solid start but against a terrible offense. His K-rate is nice and he could surprise against some weaker teams. At this point, I’d really only push all my CHIPs in with Estrada in NL-Only leagues.
Mike Minor - 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks. Before you get too turned on by a minor, just remember this was against the Giants. Minor’s last two starts against the Mets and Cubs were mediocre except for 11 Ks in 11.1 IP.
Tim Lincecum - Took the loss after giving up 1 ER in 7 IP. He’s 11-10 with the third best ERA in the NL (2.53). Matt Cain is just 10-9 with a 2.86 ERA (8th best in NL). If I were Lincecum or Cain, I’d contact Greg Anderson or Victor Conte for some of the clear and then put it in every hitters’ after-game Anchor Steams.
Tommy Hanson – Won’t return on Tuesday. Wake me when there’s something I don’t know! (Not really asleep, but I am a bit drunk. Hey, is that an ad for a vacation to Burundi on Razzball? I might like to go there!)
Clayton Kershaw – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. You know how Jim Leyland’s cigarette-stained teeth make him look like one of those clown head’s at a carnival that has water sprayed into its mouth but instead of water it’s urine? Now the exact opposite of that image is Kershaw.
Colby Rasmus - Hit a HR in his 2nd straight game (and had 4 RBIs in the game before). Must be because his Dad can finally coach him without the meddling of LaRussa and McGwire.
John Buck and Rod Barajas – Both catchers hit HRs on Thursday – Buck’s 14th and Barajas’ 11th. Both are hitting under .230. If Miguel Olivo kills a man, we just need 10 more peers for the jury.
Tyler Flowers – AJ Pierzynski’s rookie replacement has now hit in 4 straight games (7 hits) including a double, triple, and HR. He’s had strikeout rate issues in the minors but also gets his share of walks and moderate power. So, in essence, he’s Adam Dunn 2011.
Ricky Romero – A 3-hit shutout against the A’s with 6 Ks. Imagine they still had Halladay and Marcum? They’d be the best 3rd place team in the majors!
Joe Mauer – Started in the outfield for the first time in his pro career. The Twins are reacquainting him with the outfield fences.
Erick Aybar – In the midst of a 6-for-56 August slump (.107). Aybarumba!
Mark Trumbo – Hit a walk-off HR off Mike Adams. The other Angels made sure to stay out of his way as he touched home. The Morales family does the same thing whenever Kendry walks off.
Denard Span – Back to the DL because of the concussion he suffered in June. At least he thinks it was June.
Jack Hannahan – Returned after his wife gave birthahan. If the baby is half-Korean, my AL-Only team and his wife have something in common.
Mike Jacobs - Has been suspended 50 games for testing positive for HGH. On a related note, Marc Jacobs injected suspenders into his latest fashion line and it tested positively fabulous.