Hello, new readers who found us from Googling the title! You probably weren’t expecting a fantasy baseball site. Don’t let that stop you. We’re an equal opportunity offender. And if the title didn’t interest you, how about Giants to add Bum to ‘Cum topped staff? Hello, our newest readers that didn’t find us due to the title, but did find us due to that last sentence! You probably will be offended. But say the title was, “Giants ‘Cum Led Staff Points To Bum Insertion.” Now if you found us due to that hypothetical title. Well, ahoy there! Don’t even get me started on Filthy Sanchez. All right, a detailed Madison Bumgarner outlook can be found where it says, “Madison Bumgarner outlook.” Bumgarner is risky, but in the NL West and with his stuff, worth a look in deep mixed and NL-Only leagues. In keepers, pursue him aggressively. So far this year, he has a 47:20 K:BB ratio and a 3.13 ERA in 69 innings. I’d definitely take a flyer (is it flier?) in certain mixed leagues where I needed the upside. Still, there’s a bunch of arms I’d want over him. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Brett Cecil – Besides having a name of a 70’s British pinup, Brett Cecil has a 0.99 WHIP and decent Ks. Sure, the matchups are terrible, but there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be owned in every league. For what it’s Wuertz, Cecil has appeared in three Buy columns dating back to April. Watch out, deaf ears, something’s falling!
Felipe Paulino – Sometimes his pitching looks like Ronnie Paulino, while Ronnie’s doing a number two. In NL-Only and deep mixed leagues, I’d grab Paulino for his Ks and not much else. But Ks are Ks are Ks, says the letter L prematurely.
Brad Lincoln – Another NL-Only and/or keeper guy. Oh, and next time you want to make a splash, Lincoln, don’t follow Strasburg. You’re welcome!
Jason Hammel – I wouldn’t start him at home just yet. Not worth the agita. Last year on the road, a 3.13 ERA. He credits his road success to an Entertainment Coupon Book that allows him to get all the best deals no matter what city he’s in. And not having to pitch in Coors. Yeah, that too.
Jon Niese – Just went over him. Scroll or click. Scrolling could help you lose 17 calories.
Alfredo Simon – Juan Schmoil says he wants Simon to be the closer. Granted, he’s probably never seen him actually pitch. Nevertheless!
David Hernandez – SAGNOF! Oh, and should you own two O’s closers? It’s not ideal, but I am on a few teams until the shituation shakes out. Just think how fun it can be when the O’s don’t win for a week then they finally get a save opp and the bullpen gives up 5 earned in a third of an inning. Fantasy baseball, this IS my outlet!
John Axford – He is currently the closer. Man, I wish I was in a league where he was still available. Like 65% of ESPN leagues.
Brad Lidge – Owned in only 86% of ESPN leagues. So 14% of ESPN leagues are owned by Philly fans.
Jack Cust – Three True Outcome player: strikes out, homers from your bench, homers from waivers.
Andres Torres – I’ve probably been remiss by not talking about him, but he’s still only owned in 20% of ESPN leagues, so there’s still time. Torres has 11 steals in 168 ABs while batting around .300. He’s old as dog balls but he’s currently hitting.
Neil Walker – Walker is hitting for average and should get Runs out of the two hole like me after Taco Bell.
Sean Rodriguez – He’s a 25 homer, .240 average guy, in the best case scenario, but he’s currently hitting, so there’s that.
Mike Stanton – BUT YOU JUST TOLD US TO BUY HIM! I know, Mr. Caps, let me explain. OKAY, KEEP IT SHORT, THE COPS ARE KNOCKING ON THE DOOR. *calling off* ONE SECOND! I’m praying Stanton hits a few homers this weekend and his value goes even higher than it already is. Right now, Stanton’s the hottest thing since the bread Strasburg sliced. His hype is way above his value. What’s Stanton going to give you? The same as Carlos Lee? That’s the best case scenario. I think you can get Carlos Lee and a donkeycorn in a trade of Stanton. Don’t trade Stanton for a bag of creamed corn. Mostly because creamed corn should not be in a bag. Ever.
Buster Posey – I am such a hater, ain’t I? I’m gonna drop a double caveat on you. I wouldn’t trade Stanton or Posey in keeper leagues. In one year leagues, Posey’s tradeable if there’s guys like Soto, Montero, Suzuki, etc. on your waivers. He’s not really that much better than any of those other guys, especially “etc.” That guy can mollywhop!
Nick Markakis – This guy’s taking the career path of Garrett Atkins. I’m not quite to the point where I’d drop Markakis, but if you can get anything at all for him, I’d go for it. Really, what’s he going to give you? 20 homers and 7 steals? I just popped a zit in the mirror and it read, “Yeah, so?”