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Remember Wade Boggs as a Devil Ray?  Brett Favre as a Jet?  Sylvester Stallone in the latest Rocky movie?  Today, Trevor Hoffman signed with the Milwaukee Brewers and John Smoltz signed on with the Red Sox.  Maybe Trevor Hoffman just wanted to follow in Salomon Torres’s footsteps and retire a Brewer.  Meanwhile, Smoltz returns to Boston after only spending one year with the then Boston Braves.  John Smoltz’s favorite contemporary artist, Mitzi Gaynor, once sang, “Everything old is new again.” No truer words have been spoken, except maybe, “Old pitchers break down.” — Anonymous.  Anyway, here’s a look at what Hoffman and Smoltz will mean for 2009 fantasy baseball:

Trevor Hoffman –  Somewhere in dairy country a little boy is asking his grandpa why he’s so excited.  “Cause we’re going to be able to hear a whole lotta Hell’s Bells.”  Carrying on the tradition he may have learned firsthand at The Spanish Inquisition, Hoffman did well converting opportunities in 2008.  He went 30 for 34 in save chances and put up 3.77/1.04 ratios.  Miraculously, he also posted more than a K/IP and only nine walks all season.  Frankly, it was a better season than you deserved when you were all ready to drop his remembering-the-eighteen-eighties ass in April.  The one big question mark besides his age is the home runs allowed.  He gave up eight home runs in 45.1 IP with seven of those coming in Petco.  Betcha he’s glad to be out of there!  In the end, SAGNOF.  If Hoffman’s getting the saves, then Hoffman is the one to own.  I’d rank him at the bottom of the Donkey-corn tier of closers.

John Smoltz – Smoltz is on the DL until early June recovering from shoulder surgery.  Sure, he’s The Ultimate Warrior taking on evil Hulk, but let’s be real for a moment.  Doode’s about to be 42 years-old.  The Sox gave him a five million dollar deal.  This is the same as you leaving a 12% tip at your local Ham ‘N Eggery.  Not to mention, the Red Sox have about a seven man starting staff as of right now.  (BTW, this really shows the inequality between clubs.  The Sox have a number seven man (Buchholz) that could be a number three man on another club.  Meanwhile, the Nats big offseason acquistion was Daniel Cabrera.)  If you have room on your DL for Smoltz, take a flier in the end rounds, but don’t expect too much.  The Sox are stacked to the point where they could hold Smoltz back until the All-Star Break and then baby him just for the playoffs.  I’d put his 2009 projections at 5-2/3.00/1.16 in 12 starts.

  1. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Pitching or closing? Which is the hardest way to make an easy living?

  2. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: It’s more dependent on what type of pitcher the guy is. Is he a power pitcher or a finesse pitcher? Hoffman relies on his change, but the fastball needs to work to set that up. I don’t think Hoffman’s going to be a great closer in 2009, but he’ll have some value.

  3. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Ah… Had no idea you knew The Streets. Actually, I wasn’t sure if anyone would get the reference in the title of the post, but it made me smile so I went with it.

  4. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Yeah – he’s pretty cool. Geezer means different things in the US and UK (and elsewhere), obviously, but it’s a great title for this post.

  5. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: @Steve: There were whisperings in St Louis about Smoltz as Cardinals closer, but alas, I’m starting to lose hope for Tony’s Boys.

    When’s DeWitt gonna open DeWallet?

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: It’s a great album. One of my favorite albums of the last few years.

    @BigFatHippo: Eh, Perez or Motte’ll be fine. Closers just need to get three outs and they’re usually failed starters. I think the Cards have bigger fish to fry.

  7. Steve says:
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    @Grey: I just downloaded his latest – ‘Everything is Borrowed’ – off the web after seeing this thread.

    BTW, am about 3/4 of the way through Kavalier & Clay. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book with such a lively plot.

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Ah, that’s one of those books I wish I could read again for the first time — is that corny?

    He has a new album out? Aw, sookie. I gotta get that. Do you have his other albums?

  9. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: Perez or Motte will be fine next year, I agree with Tony not to set them up for failure.

    Bigger fish yes, but the pen blew 39 saves last season. I can’t forget that. As for the starters, Penny would have been well worth 5 mil. I just hope we find a free agent like Lohse closer to spring. Anybody left? Isn’t Lowe still out there?

  10. big o says:
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    fast mock @ the couch .
    this friday …9pm
    24 rounds
    act soon .
    custom .

  11. Steve says:
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    @Razzballers: Now hear this! I’ve set up the second Razzball Commenters’ Mock Draft. Details are here:

    http://razzball.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=1138

    Those to have expressed interest so far are Hippo, Iowa, sean1981, big o, Hank and yours truly.

    It’s a 12-teamer, so by my count, that leaves 6 spots. So check out the forums and be sure to read (and reply to) the bright red message!

    That is all.

  12. sean says:
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    Sox couldn’t find another 1.5M/yr to get the Teixeira deal done, but they pay Smoltz five per… Things that make you go hmmmm

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: The Cards could use Rasmus coming up big.

    @sean: Just like the Brewers need a 42 year-old closer. Hmm, indeed.

  14. Steve1 says:
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    The Streets FTW.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve1: I’m listening to their new album for the first time. “I wanna go to heaven for the weather…”

  16. Steve1 says:
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    The title track is also great man. Inspirational. I read that he said this might be his last album….that would be a disappointment. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all of his releases.

  17. Steve says:
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    @Steve1: Are you sure you’re not me?

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve1: I’m bummed this album is only 38 minutes. So far “Heaven for the Weather” is my favorite, but that was my only first spin.

  19. Steve says:
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    Pardon the interruption, Grey, but there has been a few password shenanigans (for Hippo anyway) with regard to the Second Razzball Commenters’ Mock Draft. Signup instructions have been amended and are available here:

    http://razzball.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=1138

    Thank-you for your time.

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