We have almost a week of baseball in the books and Yu Darvish‘s Marvishlous 14 K 1-hitter and Chris Davis‘ power surge have been early standouts. Don’t own either? That’s a shame. Feel like quitting? Not yet, Razzball Nation, I am here to help. You may remember me, Dan, or my alter ego Blairtch, from such fantasy Friday roundups as Mike Trout Saved My Season, But Jewel Saved My Soul and Harper: Better, Faster, Stronger, and my popular online fantasy advice guide, Quit Losing Already, You Loser! I will be recapping Friday nights in fantasy baseball, providing plenty of references to The Cure and fantasy advice so Grey can use his weekends to take care of business, i.e. drink all those daiquiris you’ve been buying him and continue travelling across America interviewing players and managers, scouting top prospects, and attending round table discussions featuring only the most prestigious faculty, alumni and council members at the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston. So do not worry, I’ll be here throughout the season to cover Friday’s full slate of games for the loyal weekend warriors. There are lots of players to cover this week so let’s get right to it.
Here’s what happened Friday night in fantasy baseball [*Opening Week Edition*]:
Todd Frazier — 4-for-5, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, SB. Downtown Goes Frazier! Downtown Goes Frazier! The razzball favorite lit the fantasy world on fire last night, going 4-for-5 with 2 home runs, five RBIs, and a stolen base. The slam and legs! If he was available on waiver wires yesterday, he probably isn’t anymore. Sure, his defense may not be so hot, but his bat definitely is and it’s only a matter of time before Dusty moves Frazier up in that lineup (one hopes). A Votto-Frazier-Bruce Sandwich could be deliciously deadly.
Shin Soo Choo — 1-for-3 with another HR. Choo on that! The Reds blew up for 15 runs on Dan Haren (4.0 IP, 9 H, 6ER) and the Nationals. Speaking of homers, Homer Bailey pitched great with 6.0 scoreless innings, 2 H, and 6 Ks. Zack Cozart was 2-for-4 with 2 HRs and 5 RBIs — a line that’s sure to shock even the most optimistic of Cozart-owners.
Eric Hosmer — 4-for-5, 2-R, 3 RBI. ZOMG!1! Post hype-sleeper-hype hype?! I don’t know… The Royals did score 13 runs on the defenseless Phillies pitching staff, including three-hit games from Alex Gordon, Chris Getz and Mike Moustakas.
Alcides Escobar — 2-for-5, HR, SB. The slam and legs! Are these the first of of the season? Someone fact check that. Oh that’s me? Okay, hold on.
Domonic Brown — 1-for-4 with a HR. Grey told you to BUY him. He said, “He should just be on every team.” And that’s me quoting Grey! That’s high praise, Cage, but I have to agree. The defense may be bad, but as long as he’s hitting the Phillies need Dom to be the bomb.
Adrian Beltre — 2-for-4 with HR. A lot of the ‘perts have been acting like they’re going out on a limb reaching for Beltre. He’s got three straight 30-100 seasons, I think he’s a safe top 25 player. Yo Adrian, you here that? You did it! You made it.
Howard Kendrick — 2-for-4, 1 SB. Yep, that’s one more SB than Trout, for those keeping track. At this point in the season you’d be hard pressed to find a seller for Howie and buyer for Mike, especially with Trout struggling. But if you do, and they still want Trout? Do the deal. (*Fantasy Pro Tip* Don’t do that deal.)
Nelson Cruz — 3-for-4, 1 run. Owned Nelly all last year and he drove me crazy. I avoided him like a crazy ex-girlfriend with the plague on draft day. This is the year he hits 50 HR and plays 160 games.
Derek Holland — 7.0 IP, 2 ER, 5 K. Holland is probably my favorite of the Texas pitchers. Other than Yu Darvish, of course. And I guess Matt Harrison. Oh, Alexi Ogando is nasty. And you gotta love Joe Nathan, amirite? I also like Nathan more than Derek Holland. You are my fifth favorite Texas pitcher (at least until Neftali Feliz comes off the DL), Mr. Holland, but hey, nice game man.
Kevin Youkilis — 2-for-4 with a 2-run HR. If I’m a Cano owner I’m not happy Youk is batting third, but Youkilis’ owners should be very happy. Cano was spotted yelling post game, “Yoouk think you’re better than me? I know Jay-Z!”
Prince Fielder — 2-for-4, 2 HR, 5 RBI. And after the first bomb was cast, the Prince thought to himself, “My, one was so much fun why not do it again?” And so the Prince did, and he and the Tigers lived happily ever after.
Drew Smyly — 4.0 IP, 5 K, and got the save. The Emoticon is back. No, I don’t think he is the closer. Yes, it was still impressive, albeit against the #lowlyyankees. No, I don’t think there’s any chance he becomes the closer. Yes, I think he eventually takes the 5th starters job from Rick Porcello. Smiling face winking emoticon with weird squiggle coming out of his mouth.
Adam Jones — 3-for-5, 3 R, 2 RBI. A-DAYUM Jones is more like it! I followed the razzball rankings closely this year and I reached a bit for Jones even though I wasn’t totally convinced I should grab him over guys like Adrian Gonzalez or Ian Kinsler. But I am convinced now. Jonesy is my boy now. Welcome to the team. A fantasy match made in razzball.com heaven.
Chris Davis — 2-for-4, Grand Salami, 5 RBI. Davis has 16 RBI through the first 4 games; that’s a MLB record and more than the Astros and Marlins have scored all season. Combined! Fantasy Goofuth says, “Monday night I pulled off a blockbuster sending aging Pujols for Chris “The Dish” Davis and I haven’t looked back! My team shot up the standings! First place, suckers!” Oh, Goofuth. Will you ever learn?
Wilin Rosario — 1-for-3 with his 2nd HR. I should just draft the catcher in Colorado every year. It doesn’t really matter who. What matters is the where. It just makes so much sense now.
Troy Tulowitzki — 2-for-4, 2 RBI. Okay, I’ve got to tread carefully here. I don’t want to jinx anybody.
Dexter Fowler — 1-for-4 with his 3rd HR. After the game Dexter followed pitcher Jason Marquis home, drugged him, strapped him to a table with cellophane and killed him… Too dark? Yeah, probably. My bad.
Everth Cabrera — 1-4, 2 R, SB. SAGNOF!
Barry Zito — 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 4 Ks. Sergio Romo grabbed his 3rd save (that’s more than most of my teams have right now) and the Giants beat Cardinals 1-0. And, as you can imagine, not much fantasy goodness otherwise.
Greg Dobbs — 1-for-4 with a HR as he bats clean up, and Miami grabs their first win of the season. Marlins baseball, ya’ll! Get Hooked! And what about Justin Ruggiano — 2-for-5 with 2 SB. He’s stealing bases, ya’ll! Should I pick him up or what? I dunno!
Steve Cishek — 1.0 IP, 2 H, 1 BB, 2 ER. He’s still the closer, but he looked like Cishek.
Ben Zobrist — 2-for-4, 3 RBI. I’m a big Zobrist guy. You have to love the 2B, SS, OF eligibility and I guess I’m just a sucker for those 17/15 players.
Matt Moore — 6.0 IP, 2 H. 8 Ks. Yeah, I’m gonna like owning him this year. #humblebrag Moore games like this, Matt.
Justin Upton — 1-for-3, 2 RBI and his 3rd home run. They told him he was crazy. “He’s mad!” they said, when Grey ranked Justin Upside in the Top 10. Well, who’s laughing now!? Mwahahahaha. #evilgenius
Evan Gattis — 3-for-4, after he hit a homer Thursday night. Young power-hitting catcher. Great lineup. I’m intrigued. Deeper and NL-only leagues should give him a look, at least until Brian McCann returns.
Mike Minor — 7.1 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 7 K. I own Minor everywhere. Just the way he was ranked on most draft boards I ended up getting him no problem. Am I missing something? A Minor detail, perhaps? Sure, the 4.12 ERA is high but I’ll take 145 strikeouts any day, and put him on a winning team? It’s a wrap.
Wade Miley — 6.0 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 8 Ks. Miley got the win in a pitchers duel with gun-for-hire Kyle Lohse (6.0 IP, 5 H, ER, 5 K). Both are just about the least exciting starting pitchers you could own. But still, both should absolutely be owned.
Jean Segura — 1-for-3 with a HR. Milwaukee’s gift from Zack Greinke gifted them with his first major league homer last night. He has yet to flash his speed, but it’s that speed that should really spark some Jean fantasy love. Grey told you to BUY him, so take a look!
Franklin Gutierrez — 3-for-5 with 3 runs and a HR. The Big FraGu has started hot out of the gate but I’m not ready to pick him up. Not yet. He’s burned me too many times before.
Alex Rios — 1-for-4 with 2 runs, 2 RBIs. Un otro slamo y piernas!
Dan Straily — 6.2 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, W, 11 Ks. I could tell you how I streamed Straily everywhere last night, but you probably wouldn’t believe me. It’s true! He’ll likely lose his spot in the rotation to Bartolo Colon next week, but if we learned anything from this start: stream against the Stros and win.
Zack Greinke — 6.1 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 6 Ks. Greinke grabbed his first win while Brandon League notched his first save. Zack Attack owners who have been holding their breathe for the past 3 weeks can now exhale. Now go get a glass of water. Now feed yourself! And shower! For god’s sake take care of yourself! What is wrong with you? Anyway, the Greinkster sure didn’t look hurt and took down the Bucs with no issues. It appears it may be one of those years for Greinke. Yay.
Jose Reyes — 4-for-5, HR. This game was nice to see for Reyes owners. Despite what many feared, it turns out Jose is not afraid of, nor is he allergic to, astroturf.
Mike Napoli — 1-for-5, 2-R HR, 3 RBI. The bomb was Napoli’s first home run as a Red Sock. Will Middlebrooks also hit his first homer of the season and went 2-for-5 in this one. John Farrell ended up getting the best of his old team despite some pretty serious boos from the fans at Skydome in a hostile return. Farrell said post game of the hometown fans’ boos, “Ohh, I thought they were saying ‘Yooouk.'”
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!