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I put “Should I trade Frenchy?” into Google’s French translator. The translator steered me towards Kayak.com. So naturally, I flew to France. Stayed at a lovely hostel in the Arrondissement 4 right in the heart of the fabled Latin Quarter. The joie de vivre from the mix of students was intoxicating (and so was the wine!). When I asked a garçon at the local café about Francoeur, I talked in my worst French accent, but no strange, sideways looks. Locals embraced me and my American flag t-shirt. One Frenchman, who I asked about Francoeur, took me by the arm and whispered in my ear, “The answer is right under your nose.” I replied, “The only thing under my nose is your smell.” “No,” he explained, “The answer is in your heart.” I laughed and said, “Thank you, Yoda-like Frenchmen. Maybe when your daughter shaves her pits, we’ll meet again.” Arriving back in the States, I realized he was correct, the answer was right under my nose. I can’t find one single reason to not think Francoeur will turn around his early season power outage. So why can’t he? His BABIP is fine; Ks actually aren’t bad at all. Is he being more selective? Not really. But whatever, he never was. Is he still hitting doubles? Yup. Ground balls up? Well, they are literally up, as in his fly balls are okay. A compilation of expert projections has him hitting at least 22 more home runs. I think he gets 25 more. Since he currently sits at 3, that makes him a Buy guy. Like Sam Cooke said, “Change gonna come, nephew.” Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball hitters and pitchers to buy and sell:

BUY

Salomon Torres – My favorite to replace Gagne (BTW, put Gagne into French translator and it came back with, “Backne.” Weird!). Can he do the job? I’m not convinced but The Backne Situation™ could get worse before it gets better. If I were a betting man (and I am, just not on this particular situation), I’d say Backne gets 22 saves, Torres 12, Mota 3.

Dontrelle Willis – I liked him (very sorta, kinda, a little) coming into the season and soon he returns to the Tigers. There’s some value there. How much? Well, I’d drop a middle reliever for a flier on Willis, but not much more. I would not start him his first time out. Or second.

Ian Snell – I think his price has reached rock bottom by this point. I would definitely drop a marginal player on my team for him. I would also not start him the first time out. (And, yes, I do have a school girl crush on all NL starters.)

Juan Pierre – Okay, whose eyes just bugged out of their sockets? Yes, I’m telling you to buy Pierre. I think his value is way down and he’s still doing what you want from him. However, I would not give a lot.

Jermaine Dye – Someone dropped him in one of my ‘pert leagues last week. (I don’t understand it either.) So I picked him up and he’s hit three home runs in the last three days. Can Dye keep it up? Here, I’ll text you the answer: Y not?

Carlos Quentin – By this point, I don’t expect he’s available in any league, but even in shallow leagues he should be picked up.

Kevin Slowey – Yes, I like NL starters, but occasionally an AL-er sneaks through. Don’t drop anyone you’ll regret, but Slowey’s been a bit of a favorite of mine for a while. Last Triple-A season, he had a 107/18 K/BB ratio, that’s solid, ya’ll.

Ben Francisco – Has 15/15 upside, just needs the at-bats (like 500 of them), but he’s started off well, hitting seventh, second and fifth in the last three games respectively. He definitely will see at-bats against lefties, so in AL-Only leagues, he could be a platoon-mate for an outfielder.

Franklin Gutierrez – Honestly, I could put the entire Indians team, except Hafner, on the Buy list. They’re all underperforming.

Jason Giambi – He goes on streaks where he hits a few home runs and shows flashes of ‘roided Giambi.

Nick Swisher – I don’t think that highly of Swisher, but he’s not as bad as he’s been. Just keep expectations in line. Caveat emptor for those in Latin America. ¡Hola!

Ryan Howard – He will not hit .165 the rest of the season unless he gets traded to the Rockies and starts at shortstop and their Shortstop Injury Curse hits him.

Chris Iannetta – Iannetta will toil away/Until judgement day/You will be rewarded for the good things he did/Believe me every year/There is another one here/Don’t you see Iannetta used to be the new kid… (BTW, this reference was for maybe two readers. Don’t try and figure it out if you don’t get it. Just buy their new album next Tuesday. They’re much better than that crap movie, The Breakup, that they were featured in. Trust me.)

Dioner Navarro – He will never be spoken of again. Pick him up or not; it is after all your team.

Blake DeWittElias Sports Bureau, in conjunction with Jayson Stark, announced that the third base situation for the Dodgers is the first time in the history of baseball that a guy (DeWitt) is blocking another guy (LaRoche) and they both have a capital letter three letters into their last names. (Actually, that’s completely fabricated by me, but it sounds like something the ESB would say. Here’s some more things recently overheard at the Elias Sports Bureau, “That is the first time in thirty years that someone has drank Tang at lunch while using a stapler.” “The parking lot has 17 empty spots for the first time since 2006.” “That is the first time Gary has ever said, ‘Excuse me,’ after burping.”  Anyway, DeWitt’s hot. You can do worse in all leagues. *cough* Longoria *cough*

SELL

Justin VerlanderSee this morning’s post.

Tim Lincecum – Now, Papa Smurf, don’t comment later in the day that you traded Lincecum for Slowey, Giambi and box of Munchkin donuts. I like Munchkins as much as the next guy, but Lincecum is worth more than that. I’m only telling you to sell him because you probably could grab two top OFs with him. His BABIP actually tells us that he’s been unlucky, if you can believe that. So get what you need, but don’t sell him short. Stick to your guns with ‘cum! (That’s a line right out of “The Magnificent Semen,” a remake of the Japanese classic, “The Semen Samurai.”)

Chipper Jones – He’s having an unreal beginning to the season. But here’s what we know from past seasons, he’s still very injury-prone. If you can move him for Ryan Howard or Edwin Encarnacion and McClouth or… Well, you get the picture. When Chipper’s on the DL in a month, don’t forget you had an option to move him.

Rich Harden – Please trade him. I’m begging you. You have like a millisecond before the next injury comes.

Eric Hinske – These early season home runs are a nice story. (Actually, it’s not that nice… It’s not even really a story.) If you can drop Hinske for a worthwhile middle reliever, I would do it.

Mariano Rivera – I don’t think he starts throwing Livan Hernandez-type eephus pitches, but he’s just saves more or less. If someone in your league, thinks Ray’s Original Pizza is freakin’ awesome and tawks about their honeymoon to the Jersey Shore, then maybe you trade Mo to them.

  1. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    Dood… The verb Gagner in French is “To Win.”

  2. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @IowaCubs: Now I feel stoopid. Backne is a really well defined joke. “Backne” = back acne.

    You’re damned clever for a Cubs hater.

  3. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    Three comments in a row. I’m becoming the Tia Tequila of Razzball commenters. (I really need some new material).

    What is an acceptable return for Lincecum in a 5×5 mixed league?

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @IowaCubs: Dooooood, I knew that. Voila!

    @IowaCubs: Dur.

    @IowaCubs: Hehe, the Tila reference hasn’t gotten old yet.

    A 1st or 2nd rounder. If the team owner has Arod and is hurting for pitching, and he’s worried that Arod may not come back, I’d make that trade.

  5. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @Grey: Is he coming back?

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @IowaCubs: He’s taking batting practice and grounders. The Yanks are being cautious, but Stephania Bell says he won’t ever be back. Now the question is “Who the hell is Stephania Bell?” (She’s ESPN’s health advisor. Whatever that means.)

    I think he’ll be fine. Obviously there’s some risk. But think about trading Lince’ for Arod? That’s a great move if Arod is fine. There’s risk with anyone to certain extent. I would do it.

    EDIT: Cause I’m anal about spelling.

  7. JR says:
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    Snyder or Iannetta

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @JR: Snyder.

    BTW, WordPress is moving really slow today. I apologize for that, but they should be apologizing to me. Anyway…

  9. BSA says:
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    OK – I am about to pick, meaning as soon as I finish writing this, Shields off the free agent list. That would set my pitching staff to be Becket, Bedard, Hudson, Cueto, Shields, Myers, Papelbon, Ryan, Fuentes. I will have to drop Varitek to make this happen. I am also involved in a trade where I give Volquez and Renteria for Rollins. Then I will have Mauer, Morneau, Kinsler, ARam, Damon, Quentin, Kemp, Wells, Thome, Figgins, Longoria.
    By opening up a spot would you pick up Lilly, a bat or some speed. I am in a 10 team h2h.

    Side note: That first picture of Rose was a little scary to see. Yowzah!!!! I am sure he has many regrets about his time in baseball – I wonder if that is one of them?

  10. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Shields is a great pickup; he should not be on waivers. You probably want to pick up some speed with Figgins’s injury.

  11. BSA says:
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    Can’t remember the name of rookie speed that was out there in LA? Figgins is looking shaky when he returns. Even ARam was a good one to sit down this week even though he came back on Monday.

  12. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Well, there’s Erick Aybar, but he left today’s game with a hand injury. You can try Willits, he has good speed but he’s not guaranteed a starting job, though he might be now that Aybar might be hurt.

  13. BSA says:
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    Check Shield’s numbers tonight. 8 IP 80 pitches, 1 hit, 7k. Then again Garland is doing pretty well. Pissin’ me off as he racks up against me tonight.

  14. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Watching the Shields game. If you’re worried about Sawx and Yankees, sit him in those games. But I’d start him every time out. He’s got great stuff.

  15. BSA says:
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    Being a sawx fan I’m not too afraid of either lineup due to inconsistencies and that “any given sunday” attitude. Angels lineup is nothing to sneeze at either the way Sciosa likes to run. Gotta love that ending with Longoria on my team.

  16. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Nice, and good for Shields. He deserved that one.

  17. BSA says:
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    Alright my trade of Volquez/Renteria for Rollins got a counter offer of Volquez for Vlad Guerrero. Yea or Nay. My outfield is Quentin, Kemp, Damon, Wells.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Yeah, I’d grab Vlad there, for sure.

  19. BSA says:
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    Since I pointed out to the other team that I was simply approving what he offered the Renta/Volquez for Rollins and he got cold feet at the altar. I went back with Volquez/Kinsler for Utley. He countered with Penny/Vlad for Volquez. This will give me an oufield of Quentin/Kemp/Damon/Wells/Vlad. If times get tough for my team I am not sure who becomes expendable, but I’ll deal when the time comes. Penny works out because they will both be 2 start picthers in the same week.

  20. mike says:
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    I kno both of these guys are unlikely to have an impact, but who do you like more Jason Schmidt or Mark Prior once they come back from the DL if ever.

    Also what rotation is better, A or B.

    A-Oswalt,Chris Young,Wainwright,Verlander,McGowan,Billingsley,Duchscherer,Rich Hill

    B-Zambrano,Ervin Santana,Shields,Sheets,Cueto,Bucholtz,Hudson,Willis

  21. Steve says:
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    Different post – same subject: I need an(other) MR recommendation:
    Foulke (off the DL)
    Embree
    R Ramirez (KC)
    Downs

    I need Holds as well as good peripherals…

  22. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    Is BJ Ryan a fair price for Ian Snell?

    I’m second in saves (Soria, Ryan, Gregg, Rauch, Acosta/Smoltz(DL) and have only 3 able bodied starters (Hamels, Cain, Volquez). 5×5 12 team Mixed, though waiver pitchers are hard to come by — people tend to stash 7-8 starters per team. Quirk of the league. Another quirk: people like name-brands, ergo Ryan has much more value than any of Soria, Rauch, Gregg, etc.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: So it went from Vlad for Volquez to Vlad/Penny for Volquez? This guy really likes Volquez. That’s a good trade for you still, but what about Volquez/Kinsler for Utley and explaining to him how Utley and Kinsler are basically the same player and then he’s getting Volquez on top of that? (I picked Utley for MVP and don’t believe that.) I believe this guy could cave to that trade. Work his ribs area.

    @mike: WOW, A or B is tough. Gotta go B. And Schmidt.

    @Steve: Downs.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Ergo, vise a vie, it’s fair, but if they like brand names, then why not get Wainwright or someone better.

    EDIT: Punctuation OCD.

  24. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    The dude with Snell is desperate for saves. In fact, the deal on the table now is:

    Hunter Pence/Snell for Ryan/K. Gregg.

    Better? Worse? Leaves me with Soria/Rauch/Acostasmoltz, and the quickest waiver-wire trigger finger in the league. (I am a notorious saves whore. Also have Mike Gonzalez on injured reserve, for shizzengiggles.)

    I could also ask for Ervin Santana instead of Snell.

    The other guy has only one closer (F. Cordero) ’cause the computer auto-drafted for him, ipso facto.

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: A priori, since he auto-drafted, he’s dopey and in need for saves, can’t you knock him up to someone who’s sans question marks? None of those deals are slam dunks like I feel you can get. What’s someone that could really make a difference? Does he have Hamels, Wainwright, Maine etc that you can trade both Ryan and Gregg for?

  26. mike says:
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    Think Alex Gordon and my main man Edwin E!!! put up similar numbers this year? I kinda like Gordon a little better and the guy who has him in my league really likes Edwin. If he would do it straight up would you make the swap?

  27. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @mike: Not a huge fan of an apples for apples trade. It’s a slight upgrade, but not enough to do.

  28. mike says:
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    Yeh your right, I get a little trade happy this time of the season. Ima sit tight.

  29. marc says:
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    What do you think of trading my Brian Roberts for the other guy’s James Shields? I have a good offense with plenty of steals (Furcal/Kemp/Sizemore) but little SP consistency (Oswalt/Snell/Harden).

    It’s H2H league.

  30. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @marc: You’ll be fine for steals, that’s a great move. I’d do it.

  31. BSA says:
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    OK I couldn’t work anything else out so I need to drop someone to make room for Vlad and Penny. Here is the lineup and rotation, slice away. Yeah, I know Wells was heating up again only to go on the DL.
    Mauer
    Morneau
    Kinsler
    ARam and Figgins and Longoria
    Renteria
    Damon
    Wells
    Kemp
    Quentin
    Thome (can’t drop due to non-drop player rules)
    Pitching:
    Beckett
    Bedard
    Hudson
    Cueto
    J.Shields
    Papelbon
    Ryan
    Fuentes

  32. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Um, Penny? Do you have to get a two start pitcher this upcoming week? Or can you just move Wells to your DL and that opens a spot for Penny? Honestly, Penny’s looked like crap so far this year. I guess you can drop Longoria, but I’d lose Penny.

  33. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    I’ve asked for Wainwright/Pence (turns out the same guy has Wainwright — so much for due diligence on my part). We’ll see….

  34. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    I’ve asked for Wainwright/Pence (turns out the same guy has Wainwright — so much for due diligence on my part). We’ll see….

    One last question — Uggla? That’s my question. Uggla? Over Pence? I have BJ Upton at 2B, but could use some HRs….

  35. BSA says:
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    The other team put Penny in the trade. Dump him or Longo? After seeing my pitching staff in post #31, would you drop someone else from pitching or will Penny be my lowest option?

  36. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: You in Transylvania, I can’t even believe you’d ask me that question. You know how I feel about Uggla. Actually, it’s pretty close to Pence and strictly for homers, I’d say Uggla gets more, but Pence is a more all around player.

    @BSA: I’d flip Penny back in. Get it, flip! Oh man, I’m really hungover. Okay, going to stick my head in a bucket of ice water.

  37. BSA says:
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    Trade was vetoed – I’ll go for the one for one vlad/volq. League stated it was a power swing in my favor if I got both for a prospect. Jealous DINKS! Amazing how being 5-0 when my team was mediocre no one cared and licked their chops for my team to play theirs.
    How was the bucket? Penny still in there?

  38. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: That’s buckin’ fullshit. THAT TRADE WAS RAZZBALL APPROVED!

    Ugh, I shouldn’t type in caps when I have a hangover.

  39. BSA says:
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    It was nice. I put in volquez for Vlad. Power tilt?! Call me smarter than the average bear and even more driven to continue my unbeaten streak – even though the team that is 0 – 5 had me on the ropes Friday and I have recovered and have him afraid of his 6th loss.

  40. BSA says:
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    All Caps are too LOUD. Go have that water and coffee.

  41. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Grey: Uggla… not a fan? I did a back search through the archives and found a couple of unenthusiastic posts, though nothing manifesto-like. (Don’t know if it’s my computer, but the site is mad slow.)

    re: Snell v. Wainwright. Baseball Prospectus seems to like Snell better. Yahoo! had them, like, two rankings apart last year. Your 2008 player ranker has Snell about 40 places higher than Wainwright. Is it all the walks? Is that why you’ve soured on the firebreathing midget in Piratetown?

    McDonald’s hashbrowns and Gatorade will solve all your hangover-related problems. Preferably together. In a blender. Smoothie-style.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I’m not a fan of guys who hit .250, but I do like Dunn. Go figure. I’m aware of the slowness and I’m trying to correct it. Bear with, Baron. And say hi to the Countess.

    re: Snell — Our player rater was Rudy’s work. He would be able to explain it better. I like Wainwright better for a lot of reasons (his 1st and 2nd half splits were great, which makes me think it took him a little while to adjust to starting again, might be what’s going with Myers now) dislike Snell (slightly, I’m not totally against him) because he invariably gives up three or four runs. And the walks. And the home runs, which he has cut down so far this year, but we’ll see on that.

  43. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Ok, still drunk, but the site is super effin’ fast now. You’re welcome. (Seriously, thanks for hanging in there. And let me know if there’s any issues again.)

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