The no homer, but guaranteed to hit 30 homer club is now in session. The honorable Phat Albert presiding.
A: "Giancarlo, will you read the minutes from the last meeting."
G: "Why do I have to read the minutes?"
A: "Because you're the new guy. . . and that Uggla character hit his first yesterday so he's out."
G: "How about that Upton kid, I think he could read them."
A: "Nope, turns out he's all thumbs."
G: "Then Cargo, make him read em."
A: "Shut up Mike and read the minutes."
G: "It's Giancarlo!"
A: "WTF ever, just read the damn minutes before I have Yadier crawl out of my ass and thump you one."
G: "OK, fine. We voted to kick Napoli out last week because he hadn't showered in a week and smelled of 3 day old fried chicken & BO."
A: "Well we solved that problem since he got off the snide and hit 5 this week. He's out! Man, I'm gonna miss his Mom's hoots. What else you got, Mike?"
G: "It's Giancarlo, damn it!"
A: "Yeah, yeah, sure. You're not ethnic, you're Italian now. Keep selling that to the lot lizards that you've been picking up after the ball games. 'Oh, Giancarlo is so sexy, he's suave like a italian prince.'"
G: "I didn't do it to pick up chicks."
A: "Oh come on don't sell that shit here. I saw Jersey Shore last season. That Italian shit is good swagg."
G: "Back to the minutes,"
A: "Wait, is that Goldschmidt kid still wanting to be a member?"
G: "Yeah, why?"
A: "We've got room now that the Grandy man hit 3 last night."
G: "Dude come on, do we really count the ones hit to right field at Yankee Stadium? I could fart a ball that far."
A: "I don't know, lets bring it to a vote. Motion to exclude all HR hit to RF in Yankee stadium."
G: "I second"
A: "All in favor?"
A: "Great, motion passed."
G: "Do you want me to call Grandy back and let him know the good news?"
A: "Not so fast he did hit one in Baltimore this year."
Everyone: "Aw, shit!"
A: "Meeting ajourned, now go hit a fucking homerun tonight or you'll be presiding next week cause I'm getting off the mutha fucking bench if I have to ground it to Sparky Pedroia and throw his ass over the Green Monster."
Y! 5x5 H2H 10 teamer
OF-Choo, Gordon, Beltran
Rotation: C. Lee, Moore, Minor, Miller, Milone, Morrow
Closers: Holland, Wilhelmsen, Parnell, Cishek, Hernandez
DL: Greinke, Garza