In a tie game, Cito Gaston brought in his closer, Scott Downs, to work the bottom of the ninth. Downs did that, then the Blue Jays scored five runs in the top of the 10th. So with the game in the bag, Gaston removed Downs for a pinch hitter, right? Nah, that’s what a normal person operating heavy machinery would’ve done. Gaston let Downs hit. Okay, so he told Downs to take three strikes, right? No point in swinging up by five, right? Nah, you’re thinking too logical here. Downs grounded out to shortstop, injurying himself on the way to first. If I were Downs, I’d rip Gaston a new one on his LinkedIn profile. Jason Frasor or B.J. Ryan gets dibs on the closer job if Downs goes to the DL. Probably Frasor, but knowing the fascination the Jays have with Ryan getting the job back, I’m not sure. Ryan has pitched 5 scoreless in June. I grabbed them both where I could. Thankfully, Downs beat gout in like three days two years ago, so hopefully he can bounce right back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Joey Votto – He took batting practice yesterday and is only days away now. We shall see, assuming we’re not dizzy.
CC Sabathia – 7 2/3 IP, 3 ER. Only blemish was a gopher ball to Anderson Hernandez, but there’s no shame in that. Hernandez already had one homer back in 2006.
Robinson Cano – 4-for-4 with two ribbies. BTW, if you owned a major league team, wouldn’t you serve ribbies?
Chris Young – Headed to the Disgraceful List. I wonder (aloud as it were) if the Padres will promote Mat Latos (No, that’s not an island in Indonesia). As the Old Dirty Bastard once said, Latos is raw, but he does have 34 Ks in 28 innings in Double A.
Wandy Rodriguez – 4 IP, 6 ER. Ouch… Sorry, what? Ouch… Wandy, stop taking without asking.
Nick Markakis – Sparkakis!
Chris Volstad – 3 2/3 IP, 8 ER. This was a terrible matchup. Some guys you just need to bench against American League teams. I’m looking at you, Wandy.
Yovani Gallardo – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks, 11 baserunners. I’ll be gladardo when he’s back to facing weak National League teams too.
Casey McGehee – Before leaving the game with knee soreness, he went 0-for-4, which is not good enough for me and my Casey McGehee.
Mike MacDougal – A closer used in non-save situation would be a Kazaam!, but, well, MacDougal entered a non-save situation in the 8th inning. Right now I believe Acta is treating his managing like Seniors in the last semester of High School. He’s gonna be gone soon, doesn’t really matter what he does.
Jayson Werth – HR yesterday. For full disclosure, I don’t own Werth in any league, so I wasn’t sure what he was currently doing. He’s 10/10/.261. This is exactly his *pinkie to mouth* worth. 20/20, .260 to .275, 100 Runs, 90 RBIs. Bingo-bango!
Felix Hernandez – Two hitter. Then there’s the AL pitchers who get to face NL teams. Ah, yes, F-Her and the Padres. (Welcome, Googlers who were looking for info on that Miami priest.)
Dallas Braden – 6 IP, 2 ER. Okay, Peavy is going to miss about 20 starts so this is one decent filled in start. Only 19 more to go.
Jed Lowrie – Out on a rehab assignment and, barring any setbacks, could be a week or two away. I have him stashed in a deep league. He’ll be put right back into the starting spot when he returns.
John Smoltz – Will return on Thursday to face the Nats. I’d like to see Glavine and Maddux show up at the game wearing Nats jerseys.
David Ortiz – Hit another homer. I haven’t seen any of homers this year, but this is the scene I’m picturing. Count goes to 0-2… The ump takes Ortiz’s arm and lifts it. Right before his arm falls back down, which will signal that he’s done, he reaches into his trunks and pulls out his eyedrops. Drop in each eye as the crowd goes crazy. Boom! Home run as The Iron Shiek wonders how he got pinned.
Sean O’Sullivan – 7 IP, 1 ER. Terrific debut for the Angels pitcher. If you pick him up, you’re an O’Sucker.
Maicer Izturis – Yesterday, he hit his first homer in over a year. So sick of taking DNPs from Julio Lugo in one deep league that I grabbed Izturis for one game. Maicer! What goes on? Maicer!
Mike Napoli – 4-for-5, 9th homer and 3 RBIs. About the catcher position, Ron Popeil says, “Set it and forget it.”
Joe Mauer – 4-for-4 and batting .429 on the year with 13 homers. That would’ve been a good season for some guys. Ty Cobb, for instance.
Ian Kinsler – 2 HRs. You’ll take his 130 games and like it.
David Murphy – HR yesterday. Sonavabench! Murphy, you’re not even supposed to be starting against lefties. What are you doing to me? Why do bring agita to Grey?
Frank Francisco – After throwing yesterday, he said he felt like, “Money.” If you’re not sure if that’s good or bad in a recession, it’s good. He’ll be back in less than two weeks.
Jorge De La Rosa – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER. To think at one time he seemed usable. Rosa de la muertes.
Gil Meche – Shutout and he gets the Cards next. Thank you, come again.
Mark Teahen – 3-for-4 night and batting .412 in his last 7 with a homer and a steal. He’s batting 8th. Callaspo and his .300 average? 7th. Meanwhile, DeJesus bats 1st with a .240 average. Can someone turn Trey Hillman’s lineup card upside down?
Nyjer Morgan – First homer since 2007, check him for eyedrops!
Justin Verlander – 4 IP, 5 ER vs. the Cards. Wha’ happened? This was a gimme. Hopefully this isn’t like Groundhog’s Day with Verlander seeing Pujols’s shadow and now there’s going to be another two weeks of April starts.
Ben Zobrist – Did The Amazing Zobrist make another ball disappear? Let me ask you this, did the Rays play?
Mike Hampton – To the DL with a strained groin. This’ll hurt those leagues that only use Astros pitchers whose last name start with Hampton.
Ivan Rodriguez – HR yesterday as he tied the most games caught record. In related news, Sammy Sosa was busted for a PED. I think my 1998 Fantasy Baseball title now has an asterisk.
