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Ohmigod, Grey’s totally going against Rudy’s risky pitcher post?  They are so fighting.  I hope Rudy rips off Grey’s stache.  $5 says it’s not real. Uh-hum.  I can hear you, random italicized voice.  I’m actually typing you!  My bad. So, yes, Jon Lester is a risky pitcher.  But at this point, he’s also a buy.  His ERA’s 6.31.  That’s ridunkiculous from where it should be.  He’s pitching well (minus some ill-timed long balls), tremendous K-rate, solid walk rate.  A pitcher who is pitching well and has a 6.31 ERA is such a crazy buy, that I wouldn’t be surprised if his owners weren’t even selling.  But, on the other hand, they’re smarting from his earned runs.  They may see LaTroy Hawkins or Jason Bartlett and be like, “Hey, Lester’s killing me, why not take a guy that at least has been good?”  That’s why you prey on those suckas.  This is why you have brass balls and you just chucked one at your mean lady neighbor who keeps bugging you when you turn the Dropkick Murphys to eleven and put it on repeat.  I’m a sailor peg!!!  And I lost my leg!!!  I love that song.  Wait, what was I saying?  Oh, yeah.  Lester — get him, within reason.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy and Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Justin Duchscherer – If he’s on waivers and you can stash him on your DL, stash away.

Koji Uehara – I mentioned his delicious tacos and WHIP the other day then afterwards I think I heard a pin drop.  What, no love for Koji?  1.12 WHIP and 32/7 K/BB in 42 and two-thirds innings.  Get on the taco truck!

Nolan Reimold – “Weiters, you gotta see the meals they give you!  And the towels… They’re not hard from dried glue!  Oh, and I saw the guy that played Bunk in the stands.  Markakis is gonna take me to Dick’s Last Resort tonight.   Oh, it’s all so wonderful.  I’ll try to write again soon.”  Reimold has about 20 homers and a .280 if he were to play every day for the rest of the year.  I think he falls about 8 homers short of those projections.  If he gets hot, you might be able to flip him.

Chris Coghlan – Has the best opportunity to impress because the Marlins will give anyone a fair shot.  Shoot, they’re still waiting on Hermida!  Coghlan can give you middle infielder numbers at 3rd.  15/15 might be his ceiling for this year.

Gerardo Parra – Rookie Nookie is alive and well.  Hinch says Parra will see time.  Might be because he wants to put his stamp on the team.  Who’s Hinch?  Not important.  Parra can run.

Mat Gamel – The end all be all.  The big mah-hoff.  The head cheese.  The one guy I would’ve benched for a month in a keeper league.  But he has no playing time.  It may be too early for him.  But in deep leagues if you’re sitting on a random schmohawk middle reliever, and Gamel’s available, it’s worth the two week gamble to sit him on your bench and see what he does.  Don’t drop the Queen for the Rook, but you can drop a Pawn.

Ricky Nolasco – Another risky pitcher.  He’s either hurt or he’ll be much better.  Again, I’m not saying drop Cueto to grab him.  But Nolasco’s owners are definitely fed up with him, so it would pay to buy him very cheaply now and hope for a correction.

Rich Hill – Could be on his way back.  Honestly, I’m not picking him up in any league.  I’d pick up three Randy Wolfs and five Gaudins (Hey, I’m an art collector!) before I picked up one Rich Hill.  He’ll have tough match-ups, his meltdowns are legendary, I’m just not that brave.  I can understand it in deep leagues, just won’t be me.

Ian Stewart – With Alex Gordon on the DL, someone’s gotta be my crush.

Jerry Hairston Jr. – He’s hot right now.  Not sure if it’ll last, but it doesn’t hurt to take a two week flier on a middle infielder.

Emmanuel Burriss – George Papadapolis owns him.  Why won’t you?

Ryan Madson – Lidge has been a mess.  Something’s up.  Ain’t his value.

Juan Cruz – Shouldn’t be on waivers in any league that counts saves.  Soria has shoulder trouble.  ‘Nuff said.  Or enough, if you’re a completist.

David Aardsma – Will be getting saves by next Monday.  May get them for the next month.

SELL

Joakim Soria – Don’t trade him (or drop him) right now.  But at the first sign of good news or when he returns, I’d explore trade offers for him.  When a team checks to see if there’s structural damage on your closer’s shoulder, it’s not good news no matter the results.

Any Schmohawk The Nats Put In the 9th Inning Role – I’m one of the biggest save vultures you’ll ever meet.  I own Dan Wheeler for crimey sakes!  Still, I’m not going near this one.  Kip smells, Hanaratty, Bye-mel… None of them.

Brian Roberts – He has 5 steals and 3 times caught.  He’s 31 years-old.  Maybe he lost that extra step that makes all the difference.  If you’re banking on 40 steals, you might want to look at trading Roberts and picking up Burriss.

Jason Bartlett – Let’s see, he’s batting .369.  He’s a .285 hitter.  He has 5 homers, that’s tied for his career high.  He has 9 steals.  Maybe he gets to 30.  So you’re looking at a guy who’s bumping his head on his ceiling and you wanna get on his back? Not unless you wanna fall for the old banana in the tailpipe.