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You say Alcides Escobar, I say Jean Segura…Let’s call the whole thing off!  That’s you and the co-owner of your fantasy team right before your eyes lock after twelve years of friendship and things suddenly get weird.  “Doode, you have nacho cheese on your lip and it’s in a tear drop shape.” “What?” “Nothing. Wanna play touch football? Our team needs a tight end.” On a side-sidenote, doesn’t Jean Segura sound like an actor from the 1950’s?  I imagine him lurking in the shadows of Vienna’s back alleys.  Jean Segura is…The Third Man!… with Joseph Cotten and Ryan Raburn. “Between Switzerland and Milwaukee, they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce?  The cuckoo clock and Miller beer.”  That’s Dead Orson Welles schooling you as he waits in line for Zsa Zsa Gabor.  “Is she coming or what?!”  That’s still Dead Orson Welles.  Okay, enough hullabaloney, Segura just missed the cutoff of 150 major league ABs for a 2013 fantasy baseball rookie post, so here he is as a sleeper.  Indeed, because I’m yawning.  Thanks, Random Italicized Voice.  What if I told you Segura once stole 50 bases in the minors?  Does that hold your interest?  Are you still talking to me?  No, I’m talking to everyone.  Sure, that was in A-Ball, but guys don’t just steal 50 bases for s’s and g’s if they’re slow as dog balls. Also, he stole 37 bases last year in the minors in about two-thirds of a season.  Add an extra third and you have 50+ steals, and don’t even get me started with what he can do with that extra leftover 1%.  Have your interest piqued now?  I’m still drowsy, but go ahead.  Ugh.  So what can we expect of Jean Segura in 2013 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

The opening about Alcides wasn’t too far off, but, like a black market that sells dwarfs, it could be selling Segura short.  Alcides never stole 50 bases (close with 46 one year) and never hit 10 homers any season in the minors or majors.  Segura did.  He went 10/50 that year in A-Ball and he hit 7 homers in 102 minor league games last year.  Sure, he didn’t hit for any power last year in the majors, but I wouldn’t hold that against him.  If I said he’s beautiful and I want him in every league, would you hold that against me?  The chances are greater for Segura to have an Ian Desmond-lite power year than a strong Alcides power year.  Meaning:  Segura’s liable to get 12 homers before he hits only three.  He also hits for a solid average, maintaining a decent strikeout rate.  I’ll admit that at the age of twenty-two, we might be a year early on Segura in most mixed leagues, but he’s absolutely worth a flyer for middle infidel slots.  In 2013, I’ll give him the line of 75/5/50/.282/32, assuming he gets to the top of the Brewers lineup by May.  Before you scoff, you scoffer, that’s a solid middle infielder for any fantasy league.  Now why is Ryan Raburn’s shadow twenty feet high and what’s with all of these cuckoo clocks?